At least once in our lives, in a fit of emotion, we dreamed of being able to control people in order to achieve what we wanted or force them to do what we need. But this method of achieving your goals is not the most honest, and not the easiest. After all, you need to train for years and be a very subtle psychologist, as well as have hypnosis skills. Some books created specifically for the purpose of teaching the reader how to manipulate people say that it is not as difficult as many psychologists believe - you just need to study some literature.
Whether this is true or not is not for us to decide. For most people, what is important is not power over the minds of millions, but only some tricks that can be used at work and when meeting with others for the first time. important person. That is why we have collected the 10 best psychological tricks that will help in the most necessary situations.
1 When meeting a person, always be sincerely happy and smile. Even if the conversation is not the most pleasant, try to gradually change the mood, but under no circumstances expect a person with a depressed and angry face.
2 For a first romantic date, it’s wiser to choose an exciting activity rather than a walk in the park. Psychologists say that common experiences and joint activities bring people together much more than just a walk or talking about trifles.
4 Don’t forget about the hands and feet of your interlocutor! A closed pose with arms crossed at the elbows indicates that the person does not intend to continue the given topic. His legs crossed under the table will tell you this.
5 Pay attention to the person’s behavior when he answers a question that is important to you. If at the same time the interlocutor averts his eyes or scratches his nose, most likely he is not being completely honest with you.
6 Your success in working with strangers depends not only on the quality of the work, but also on the interest shown. By addressing a person by name and patronymic, we get a huge plus in our favor, since the person unconsciously warms up to us, feeling needed.
7 Before an important interview, it is useful to imagine that we have a long-standing close friendship with the interviewer. It is almost always up to us how to perceive a situation, and our calmness and ease can be transmitted to the interlocutor.
8 Reaction word. The method is very effective in situations where we need to listen to a whole story from an interlocutor who wants to pour out his soul, but at the same time spend a minimum amount of emotional resources. Pick one word the speaker uses frequently and nod or assent when you hear it again.
9 Ask the impossible - get what you wanted. The simplest rule both for your own consciousness and for communicating with others. When setting almost unattainable goals, we try to do more and do not relax. Our interlocutor does exactly the same.
10 If you offer a person to fulfill some of your requests, which he cannot agree to, then, most likely, he will agree to another, easier task. A person tends to feel awkward in cases when he cannot do something, therefore, in order to somehow justify himself in his and your eyes, it can help in an easier task.
People are more primitive creatures than they might seem, you just need to know how to approach them. The truth is that you can get everything you need from anyone if you use a few simple techniques. Yes, and you can get everything from you, unless you are armed with knowledge about these techniques. After all, they can not only give you greater power over your interlocutor, but also protect you from various manipulations. The best part is that these psychological tricks do not require any special training.
Use kindness
If you want to gain the favor of a person who has no warm feelings for you, simply force him to do you a minor favor. This technique was often used by the American politician Benjamin Franklin. If he was planning to do business with some unpleasant guy, he would first ask him to read a book. He described in vivid colors how much depended on this book, and that without it he could not live. Having received what he was looking for, Franklin cordially thanked the man and - voila - he was imbued with unaccountable sympathy for him. And all because people to whom we have done even small kindness become close to us. We love to do favors that do not burden us, and we love those people whom we have once pleased.
Ask for more
If you need to find out something from your interlocutor, ask him about something more global. It is better that your question assumes that the interlocutor cannot give a precise answer to it. And when they refuse you, citing the impossibility of providing information, feel free to take advantage of the feeling of guilt that arises in your partner. Under the influence of this dangerous and extremely unpleasant feeling, people make many mistakes, and it is likely that you will get the information you need without making any effort. A guilty interlocutor will present it to you on a silver platter to get rid of the discomfort.
Use names
Call a person by name as often as possible if you want him to like you. With this technique you can not only gain the loyalty of the right person, but even make a woman fall in love with you. But that’s not about that now. Even old Carnegie said that the best sound for the human ear is the sound of it own name. It hypnotizes and relaxes, because the name is the basis of our identity, hearing others pronounce it, as if we are convinced that we really exist. That is why we like the one who often says our name more and more.
Flatter
This, at first glance, primitive advice is much deeper than it might seem. No one has denied the fact that people like praise. Therefore, it is very effective to get the desired behavior from them through such praise and extolling of virtues. But this doesn't work for everyone. If you flatter the wrong person, you will screw up the whole business and make an enemy. The fact is that only those who have enough love flattery a high self-evaluation. They take it at face value, and it doesn’t even occur to them to doubt its sincerity. The situation is different with notorious whiners. They usually respond to flattery with aggression, because it seems to them that you are lying, mocking and humiliating them with your kind words. So try to understand how high the self-esteem of the person you want to flatter is.
Mirror
Carefully monitor the person you want to use for your own purposes. Catch his characteristic gestures and words and simply repeat them unobtrusively. This technique from the life of chameleons will provide an opportunity to become part of the environment in which the interlocutor exists. And we always have great confidence in a person from our environment. Scientists have studied this behavior in detail and came to the conclusion that people really like those who behave similarly. The situation is the same as with a name - by mirroring, we confirm a person’s identity, and he constantly needs this.
Use your fatigue
Roll up to to the right person in moments of fatigue. In the evening after a hard day at work, or after a grueling workout, or on the first day after vacation, people are more likely to agree. When we are tired, not only our body is exhausted, but also our willpower. And willpower is the ability to resist. So, no one will resist your requests and proposals that are made in moments of fatigue. Smarter interlocutors will say that you need to postpone the decision until tomorrow. And this will be in your favor, because putting it off until tomorrow and then refusing is a guaranteed feeling of guilt. And no one likes him, so with a high degree of probability they will give you a positive answer.
Get some change
If you want to get a big investment or a huge favor from your partner, start asking for small things. Scientists have proven that those people who have done you a small favor will be ready for more after it. But let the person from whom you asked for something small get used to the idea that he just did a noble deed for you. Come back with a global request in two days, they definitely won’t be able to refuse you, because everyone wants to secure the status of “being good.”
Be quiet
When participating in a dispute, do not interrupt your interlocutor with momentary arguments and comments. The more you are silent, the more trust you have in every word you say. Therefore, if you want to achieve something from a person with whom you have already had an argument, listen to him to the last, and speak out only at the end. This will give the impression that you are trying to understand the opposing position and accept it. And this inspires respect and a desire to agree.
Repeat
This is about correct construction conversations when you need to use a manipulation mechanism on someone. Listen carefully to what the interlocutor says, paraphrase his words and repeat them back to him. It will seem to him that you are the person who understands him literally, empathizes with him and listens. This trick will be very useful both at the stage of simple goodwill and in further attempts to achieve your goal.
Nod
This is another way to become a chameleon and get your benefits for it. No matter what your interlocutor says, try to nod. In fact, this does not oblige you to anything and does not even mean agreement with the words, but only signals that you are not distracted from the conversation. But subconsciously, people whose words they nod at are imbued with trust in the nodder and feel goodwill and acceptance. Such feelings are always helpful if you want to achieve agreement or approval in the future.
During a conversation, use similar gestures and facial expressions, repeat the pose of your interlocutor. According to research, this behavior speeds up the emergence of sympathy.
2. Spend more time with the person you want to be in a relationship with.
We are more likely to like people we know. Psychologists conducted an experiment: four girls, unknown to the students, attended classes at the university. Some came often, others rarely. Then the students were shown their photographs and asked to say who they liked the most. It turned out that those who were seen more often in class.
3. Praise the other person
People associate the adjectives you say in their praise with your own character. This phenomenon is called spontaneous transfer of qualities. It works the other way around: if you constantly speak negatively about a person, what you say about him begins to be attributed to you.
4. Show positive emotions
We are greatly influenced by the mood of those around us. Often we unconsciously experience the same emotions as the interlocutor. To make a good impression, demonstrate a positive attitude.
5. Don’t be afraid to appear imperfect
By demonstrating some kind of flaw or making a mistake, you show that nothing human is alien to you. Scientists discovered this by studying how mistakes affect sympathy. Participants in the experiment listened to a recording of a quiz. If someone answered all the questions correctly but accidentally spilled their coffee at the end, they liked them more than the person who was perfect.
6. Emphasize common ground.
We are drawn to people who are similar to us in some ways. This is called the similarity attraction effect. Moreover, we especially like people with whom we have common negative traits.
7. Perceive the other person the way he wants to be perceived
People want to be seen the way they see themselves. When a person's idea of us matches our own idea of ourselves, relationships develop successfully. We feel understood, which is necessary to establish trust.
8. Share something personal
This will help you start a relationship and get to know the person better. Start with general topics (like what movie you both watched recently) and gradually move on to more personal ones. Then tell us something secret about yourself. This will create a feeling of closeness, and it will be easier for your interlocutor to trust you in the future.
9. Let your interlocutor talk about himself
Researchers at Harvard University found that talking about ourselves produces pleasure comparable to that of food, money, and sex. Therefore, let the interlocutor tell you something about yourself. This will leave him with more pleasant memories of your conversation.
10. Act as if you like the person you're talking to
When we believe that a person is well disposed toward us, we ourselves begin to feel sympathy for him. This phenomenon is called reciprocal sympathy.
In addition, when we assume that people will treat us well, we behave more warmly towards them. This way we increase the chances of making a favorable impression.
If you are not sure how the other person feels about you, act as if you like him. This will make him more likely to like you.
Tell me, do you believe that all kinds of psychological training and various “exclusive psychological techniques” work? All these “Learn to think like a rich person - and money will come to you”, “Get out of your comfort zone - and nothing will be impossible for you”, and so on and so forth? Let's just say that 90 percent of all these recommendations are complete slag, working solely in the imagination of the author. But 10 percent are actually working and effective psychological tricks.
But you shouldn’t really rely on them. Yes, there is some effect, but if you believe that they will allow you to resolve literally any difficult situations... No, not any. But they will significantly increase the chances, since they do not look from the outside like attempts at psychological manipulation. So.
Hot hands
A cold and limp handshake is annoying and instills mistrust. They say that the person is obviously no longer interested, and he is not at all concerned about the upcoming acquaintance. So your hands should always be warm. Even in winter you need to find a way to warm them up somehow. A vigorous handshake and a wide smile are a chance to leave a good first impression.
Ask the question correctly
You know those people who start from afar in any situation? They fuss, get out of their way, mumble something off topic - you have long understood that he needs something from you, he understands this too, but no, you need to play the role to the end. But the phrase said directly, “I need your help,” makes a much better impression. People are somehow not inclined to refuse if they are approached with all sincerity and directness. And if they refuse, well, then, they refuse honestly and openly.
Distract your opponent
A little psychological trick that sometimes works. If, for example, you made a bet with someone and decided to settle it on “rock paper scissors”, then at the very last moment ask the person any question. He will be distracted and will most likely throw away the “scissors”, since it is easier from a purely physiological point of view.
Correct posture
A head tilted forward, shoulders drooping, a hunched back - a dull impression, right? That's it. And those around you have a corresponding impression, and you yourself somehow feel insecure. Now straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, spread your legs slightly - now you take up much more space and feel much more confident, don’t you? But don’t overuse it, the “phantom wide back symptom” looks ridiculous.
Limit your choice
It just seems that the more information, the easier it is to make a choice. The brain gets lost in facts and options, especially when it needs to act quickly. Therefore, if you need to make decisions, limit the options to extreme results, discarding halftones. If anything, it will be possible to convert the situation into a semitone later. For now, it’s either yes or no. Either one or the other. It's easier to choose between the two options.
Write down anxious thoughts
Anxious thoughts are normal. It's worse if they turn into anxiety states. And a fairly simple psychological trick can help against this - just write them down on paper. It is on paper, and not in electronic form. The brain will believe that it has done something, expressed what worries it, so it will begin to think about them again with much less likelihood. And in general, don’t think that keeping a diary is the prerogative of teenage girls. In principle, there is nothing wrong with this - memory cannot retain absolutely everything, so it is better to write down some thoughts.
Remember the names
It is extremely important to remember the names of everyone with whom you interact. Even if it is a large team. People subconsciously consider themselves really important and special, so the fact that you remember their names makes them think that you really value them as important and special. And this is conducive.
Get into your personal space
In general, this very specific psychological trick does not always work. It's better to use it against those you already know well. The easiest way to slightly upset the aggressor is to close the distance. The shorter the distance, the more difficult it is to show aggressive emotions. In some situations, especially with loved ones, physical contact is generally acceptable. Seriously, it is difficult to react aggressively to a person who holds your hand, looks you in the eyes and listens. This way, many conflicts can be turned into productive channels.
Don't raise your voice
No matter how difficult it may be, you should never yell. If you start yelling back, your opponent will automatically perceive his position as correct, strengthen his belief that he is right, and further aggravate the situation. And if you remain calm, the person will cool down quite quickly and may even begin to apologize for his breakdown. This is what you should use.
Look into your eyes
In general, this does not always work, but sometimes this psychological trick works. If there is a risk of being rejected, try not to break eye contact. Look the person in the eye. It is very inconvenient to refuse in such a situation - the opponent will be embarrassed and will somehow get out of the situation. In any case, you have already lost, but due to embarrassment you can still get at least some bonuses.
Today we will share with you cool and useful psychological tricks. They really work. Before we begin, we want to say: we do not condone the actions of people who resort to manipulation to achieve goals. However, there are a lot of tricks you need to know about. They will be very useful in life. Other people can manipulate you for their own benefit (all advertising marketing is built on similar principles). Our next selection, especially for you, contains the most effective psychological tricks.
Present
Even a small gift can touch a person to the core
Numerous studies have shown that by offering someone even the smallest souvenir, you can radically change their attitude towards you.
Passive voice
You should not use the method of direct accusation in communication: it causes a reflexive denial in the interlocutor
In order not to enter into confrontation with your interlocutor, but to convey your opinion, use the passive (passive) voice in your speech. For example, instead of “You didn't send me the spreadsheet,” say “No spreadsheets were sent.”
Ten minute appointment
Sometimes the brain “deceives” us, causing us to feel lazy and unwilling to do something. But in the process of work, this feeling can be replaced by interest and activity.
Don't feel motivated to do some work? Then still force yourself to do it for at least 10 minutes. Even if you can't continue, 10 minutes is better than nothing.
Be confident
People often mistake a self-confident person for an authoritative person with leadership qualities.
Behave like a person who knows what he is doing - and others will trust you. Of course, this trick cannot be used for illegal purposes. And yet, it has been verified: in difficult situations this technique really works.
Fear of loss
People are afraid of losing something. That’s why advertising “two seats left on the left” is so successful when selling bus tickets. The same principle is used for sales stability - it motivates people to buy a product. Remember this trick and you will not become a victim of manipulation.
The illusion of choice
The illusion of choice is considered an illusion because its main goal is manipulation, where, with any choice, the initiator of the game wins
Do you need to force a lazy co-worker or child to do something? Give them a fake choice! What does it mean? If you need to sweep the floor and fold laundry, simply ask, “Do you want to fold or sweep?” They will gain a sense of control and will get to work with more enthusiasm.
Method "Door in the face"
The person feels uncomfortable refusing a request; and therefore he is happy to help if the requirements are significantly reduced
This marketing trick says: first demand from a person what is unattainable, and then demand what you really want. In other words, if you want a puppy, ask for a pony first.
"Kick in the door" technique
Having trained someone to provide small services, it is not difficult to motivate him to do something grandiose. A person gets used to the fact that he is obliged to help
This trick is the antithesis of the "door in the face." If you ask for small favors, then later people will be inclined to do larger things for you.
Silence is gold
People are afraid of long pauses during conversations. It is enough just to remember the painful moments when silence hangs at the festive table
Do you need to find out more information about someone, or want to make a profitable deal? Silence will help with this. Pauses in communication will cause a feeling of awkwardness, and your interlocutor will involuntarily strive to fill them.
Open body language
One of the main signs of a person’s openness is arms spread out to the sides, palms facing up.
To look more confident, use the language of open gestures and poses in a given situation. Try not to cross your arms over your chest, use an open gaze, and so on.
"Mirror" method
Everyone admires the positive traits in others that they themselves possess. But we also hate in others what we feel in ourselves.
By slightly imitating a person, you can tune in “to his wavelength,” arousing his affection for you. Just don’t overdo it, so as not to seem strange and alienate your interlocutor.
Small services
The desire to be needed and involved in a group of other people has been genetically embedded in us since the beginning of humanity.
When you ask for something, or other people ask you, everyone gets the feeling of being needed. This expression of favor promotes rapprochement between people. Of course, we are talking about small benefits, and it is important not to overdo it.
Agree
Base your communication on what you have in common with your opponent; this way you can come to a mutually beneficial agreement
This can be a powerful weapon, especially if you are against it. Be sure to find first mutual language with your interlocutor. For example: “I agree with you, but...”, or: “I understand this, however...”
Tom Sawyer Method
Get interested and make it work - effective method, which is very actively used in control theory
The famous hero of Mark Twain's novel used a wise psychological trick. What is it? If you don't want to do something, pretend that the work is interesting and fun. Perhaps someone will be inspired and do it for you?
Admit your mistakes
By exposing yourself for small shortcomings, you give others a sense of greatness; such a self-critical person is ready to forgive a lot
A good way to build trust is to admit your mistakes, especially small ones. It is also strategically correct (albeit incorrect from an ethical point of view) to take blame for an offense that you did not commit. Using this method increases the degree of trust in a person in the future.
Maintain Neutrality
A balanced approach to all aspects of a problem helps solve it more effectively
This method is one of best secrets beliefs in the world. Show your interlocutor that you are ready to accept various reasoned arguments, and he will have more reasons to trust you.
Appraising glance
The main thing when meeting suspicious individuals is not to show fear
If you often walk around the city, this technique may come in handy. When you see someone suspicious, catch their eye (but don't look threatening). Now look down at your feet, and then again at your eyes. As a result, quickly look away and continue on your way. This silent “assessment” will send a signal that you did not see the person as a threat. PS: this method will work well if you have a confident step and stately posture. But even if you consider yourself short, imagine yourself big and strong, this will help in this situation.
Don't argue about the main issue
Competent discussion helps in solving many, even the most global, problems
If you are in a negotiation, don't argue with your core point. It’s better to move straight to the secondary arguments. For example: you want to build a wall. Don't argue about whether it will be built or not. Immediately address the question of who will pay for the construction. Then people will consider the very existence of the wall as a necessity.
Smile for a child
The baby has the basics of nonverbal interaction with others almost from birth.