How to Get Rid of Shyness: Twelve Steps. Get loose or how to get rid of shyness How to get rid of shyness and shyness

- 4 approaches to combat shyness
- How to overcome embarrassment. Psychologist's advice
- How to quickly get rid of shyness
- Top 10 Actions to Deal with Shyness

Shyness is a complex of problems and in order to get rid of it, various methods and techniques are required. However, the most important thing for success is a strong commitment to change your life.

To deal with shyness and get rid of it forever, get ready for daily work and conscious efforts on yourself. First of all, analyze what causes you to feel embarrassed, what you are most embarrassed about. Maybe it's your appearance or your inability to speak correctly and beautifully, or maybe you consider yourself not smart and successful enough.

So that there is no reason for embarrassment, immediately remember that the main reason is yourself. After all, the people around you think only of themselves, so you should not perceive everything that they do or say in relation to you.

A dismissive attitude, rudeness or a harsh shout can be caused by the fact that a person's life is not going well, they are haunted by failures or the day has not been given, so remember this before you feel that you are not so good and everyone can offend you.

Think ahead of what you should do the next day, write a to-do list. Analyze them to the smallest detail, try to live them mentally. This will help relieve the feeling of newness that often causes shyness and embarrassment.

If you have scheduled meetings with strangers, think about what questions you can ask them, what to talk about. You can rehearse your upcoming meeting in front of the mirror. Knowing what to ask about will help you stop feeling awkward and nervous. Also remember that most people do not like to listen, but to talk, so let them do that, then you will become a very pleasant conversationalist. Write down your positive qualities on a piece of paper and re-read it as often as possible.

- How to quickly get rid of shyness

Action # 1. Analyze yourself.
First, determine what you are ashamed of. Write down on a piece of paper all your insecure actions or situations in which you feel shy.

The main reason for your embarrassment is you yourself, not the world around you. After you have identified your weaknesses, proceed to the next step.

Action number 2. Reflections and thoughts.
Know that all people think more about themselves and not about your personality. Most people who are shy or unsure of themselves think what others will think of me if I do this or that action. Know that other people don't care what you do and what you don’t. This is your choice, your life. Stop thinking about what other people think of you.

Action number 3. Communication.
If you are shy in communication, start chatting. Start communicating, ask questions, and listen to your interlocutor without interrupting, this is the main thing. By overcoming your fear, you thereby fight shyness.

Action # 4. Your strengths.
Set aside your negative aspects, focus on the positive aspects of your personality. Work on yourself constantly.

Action # 5. Powerful weapon!
Sit down and write only positive beliefs to yourself. List as many positive beliefs as possible. Now put your list in a prominent place, and every morning read it three times loudly and emotionally. This exercise is very powerful. It will help you structure your personality the way you want it.

Remember! All that we think about the most is that We are. To change something in yourself, you just need a small step! The main thing is, do not postpone it!

Action # 6. Your Resilience.
Be confident in any situation. Straighten your back, walk straight, look forward, breathe deeply, speak loudly and confidently.

Action # 7. Your successes.
To increase your self-esteem and gain self-confidence, record your victories in your personal success diary. When we achieve our goals, our confidence rises to a very high level, leaving behind embarrassment.

Action # 8. Fears.
The best way to overcome shyness is to take steps to meet your personal fears. This is the best tool that gives you a tremendous boost in your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Action # 9. Your style and appearance.
We feel much more confident when we wear clothes that are expensive and beautiful in our opinion. Good and high-quality clothes will give you self-confidence, which means that your embarrassment will evaporate.

Action # 10. Get tested.
Each of us has an actor who knows how to adapt to any situation. Take on the role of your favorite movie actor, where he or she plays the role of a confident and successful person. See how he (a) walks, how he says, what he is doing in a given situation.

Now take on this image, and throughout the day do what he (a) did in the film. Those actions, deeds, voice, gestures, take everything upon yourself. You will see how not only your embarrassment disappears, but your mood rises. Feel yourself being filmed, it will give you an unforgettable experience. After all, on camera you should feel relaxed and confident.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specially for the site

It has long been established by psychologists that the highest results in all spheres of life are achieved not by the most talented or the most intelligent, but by the most self-confident people. Hence, we can conclude that shyness is a very significant obstacle to achieving success in life.

Just think how offensive it is to those who have various outstanding talents, but cannot prove themselves due to a shyness complex! It is clear that this unpleasant quality can and should be fought. Let's try to figure out in order what shyness is, where it comes from, and how to get rid of shyness - this complex of insecurity that interferes with life:

What is shyness and where does it come from?

According to the definition of psychologists, shyness is a morbid state of the psyche, manifested in unreasonable self-doubt and in an increased fear of failure. In fact, a shy person is someone who does not believe in himself, and therefore, instead of striving for success, lives by the principle of avoiding failure. Indeed, if you follow the behavior of the majority of shy people, you will notice that almost none of them are inclined to risky and daring actions. But, as you know, "who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne."

Another unpleasant feature of the insecurity complex is that shyness prevents a person from making new acquaintances and successfully building interpersonal relationships. An insecure person is constantly afraid that someone will ridicule or criticize him, and therefore he is not too willing to make contact with other people. And this is precisely one of the reasons that shy people are constantly in the shadows, have few friends and find it difficult to arrange their personal lives.

What is the reason for shyness?

Psychologists believe that shyness is a consequence of the wrong, too strict upbringing received in childhood. Excessive parental criticism against the background of increased severity and exactingness leads to the fact that the child begins to underestimate his successes and attach too much importance to his own mistakes and failures. It is much more difficult for a shy person to come to his senses and recover from a failure in work or in his personal life, since he does not blame the circumstances for everything, but only himself.

And every failure experienced for him is just an excuse to finally lose faith in himself and in his capabilities. In addition, it has been noticed that shy people underestimate their capabilities, while the capabilities of other people, on the contrary, overestimate. From this we can conclude that self-esteem of such a person is very low.

How to get rid of shyness?

To get rid of shyness, it is not necessary to make an appointment with a psychologist. Here are some helpful tips to help you get rid of your insecurity complex if you have this problem:

Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes and mistakes. Remember more often that even the smartest and most successful are wrong.

Learn to calmly, without panic and resentment, respond to criticism. Please note that there is practically no such person who would not be criticized. They criticize politicians, artists, businessmen - only they, unlike you, are not very upset about this!

Don't compare yourself to anyone and don't be discouraged that someone is happier or richer than you. First, you don’t know what problems those who at first glance seem to be quite successful have. Second, there is nothing stopping you from achieving the same success if you overcome the shyness complex.

Get involved in improving your own self-esteem, as low self-esteem is the main cause of shyness. And to increase your self-esteem, learn to scold yourself less often and praise yourself more often.

Love yourself. When a person does not love himself, then he projects this very dislike for himself onto other people, and it begins to seem to him that no one loves him, does not appreciate, does not respect. Once you love yourself with all your flaws, you can get rid of shyness and gain self-sufficiency. And then you will become completely indifferent to what others think of you.

Man is a social being. Everyone has a need for friendship and love, but shyness makes it difficult to satisfy it. To figure out how to get rid of shyness, you need to identify the reasons for this phenomenon. After that, it will be possible to overcome it and fully communicate with people.

Why are people shy?

Shyness is a character trait that occurs in people in the process of improper upbringing. Indifference on the part of the parents or excessive guardianship deforms the child's psyche. Shyness can also develop in children whose parents, during their upbringing, constantly emphasized their tendency to be ashamed of the company of other people. In the earliest years of development, patterns of behavior are formed, which can only be eliminated by persistent training. But life without shyness is worth it.

Tightness can only be overcome by communication. But the more a person is shy, the more difficult it is for him to do it. A vicious circle emerges, from which it is difficult to get rid of those who have gone through incorrect socialization.

Important! In extreme cases, shyness develops into a full-fledged social phobia - fear of social interactions. With social phobia, only long-term work with a psychotherapist helps; it takes only a few years to get rid of shyness in advanced cases.

Sometimes stiffness in behavior arises from the desire to please all people at once. Shyness is cultivated unconsciously. The child may be taught during the upbringing process that modesty is a blessing. Getting rid of shyness is hampered by the lack of awareness of what is its source. Shyness in this case is not even perceived negatively. Excessive politeness develops into shyness.

Stiffness often occurs when dealing with the opposite sex. This comes from insufficient communication experience, as well as from incorrectly passed socialization. Ideally, even at school age, children learn to interact with the other sex and build romantic relationships, they do not feel shy in the future. But not everyone succeeds.

Girls especially often feel shy when interacting with a guy they like. Feelings of awkwardness in communication are accompanied by silly behavior that repels the person you like. The more negative experience, the more shyness a person experiences in the future, and the more difficult it is to get rid of it.

Shyness is almost always accompanied by low self-esteem. To overcome the first, you must definitely get rid of the second. Wrong self-perception develops in the process of parenting. If a child is unnecessarily scolded and scolded for every little thing, he develops a guilt complex that prevents him from getting rid of shyness. In adulthood, he is unnecessarily immersed in himself, pondering each act on the subject of whether other people will like it. There is no other way to get rid of the underestimated person, but there is no other way to become not a shy person.

How to stop being shy?

In the head of each person there is a certain image, which is understood as a social shell perceived by others. For people with normal self-esteem, this image is perceived rather positively, it is easy for them to get rid of the fear of communication. They understand and accept their shortcomings, but don't be too critical of themselves. People with good self-esteem have an understanding that every person is imperfect in something and it is impossible to get rid of all the shortcomings, but they do not feel shy, like people with poor self-esteem.

The first most popular reason for self-doubt that you need to get rid of is a critical attitude towards your own appearance. The first impression about a person is formed from his external data. Getting rid of a bad first impression is nearly impossible. Bad dating and socializing experiences add to shyness. In the process of communication, it can change, but it is much easier for good-looking people to win people over. Seeing a good attitude towards themselves, they get rid of bashfulness in advance, become more relaxed.

So take care of yourself:

Pick new clothes for yourself, find your style that suits you. Don't be too conservative in your dress that people don't want to keep their distance from you;
Go in for sports, physical activity has a good effect on mental health, and in gyms you can make new acquaintances, get rid of complexes related to appearance;
Learn to accept your flaws. Some of them cannot be destroyed forever. Therefore, learn to perceive them as part of yourself to get rid of shyness.

Social interactions require certain skills. In dealing with strangers, this is most noticeable. It is necessary not only to get rid of bad self-esteem, but also to acquire communication skills. When a person communicates with a narrow circle of close people, social barriers are erased. Once and for all, we decided to end shyness, communicate more. You can get rid of shyness in several stages. Ignore mistakes at first, they are a necessary experience to get rid of social awkwardness.

Try to be an interesting person for your interlocutors, look for common ground to get rid of the awkwardness. Shyness is dulled in the presence of common interests. If you are afraid to approach a stranger and start a dialogue, use platforms for finding casual interlocutors on the Internet to get rid of your fear of leaving a bad impression and shyness. You will not feel embarrassed if you go to an anonymous chat, where your identity is not known to anyone, and you can get rid of an unpleasant interlocutor with one click.

Exercises for shyness

The first exercise is to get rid of shyness in public and short interactions with passers-by. Walk in crowded places and ask random people how to get to a certain place. Or ask them similar questions that do not force you to further communication, this will help get rid of the fear of initiative in communication. It will be easier to overcome your fear of communication, because you know that the person will not remember you and will not insist on continuing communication, and it will be easy to get rid of intrusive people.

Improvise with yourself to get rid of bad communication skills. The ability to dump the verbal flow on the interlocutor is not given to us from birth, like shyness. When left alone at home, try to just say out loud absolutely everything that comes to your mind. You need to get rid of shyness in front of yourself. Spending 15-20 minutes a day for such a workout, be sure that after a few months it will not be difficult for you to choose a topic when communicating with someone. The conscious ability to speak beautifully will relieve shyness, because you will be sure that you are interesting to the interlocutors.

Read more books to get rid of shyness. Developed speech attracts interlocutors. Fiction develops the ability to express one's thoughts beautifully and concisely. Try to read books filled with humor to relieve dryness in your conversation. Jokes and laughter defuse the atmosphere of communication and help remove shyness.

To get rid of shyness and develop speech, watching other people's public crimes is perfect. Observing people, we involuntarily adopt their manner of communication, this helps to get rid of poor speech. Watching lectures and speeches from charismatic people who are not shy will pass on some of their charisma to you. To get rid of shyness, you need to watch the performances of people who themselves make a strong impression on you.

There are many shy people. And they also come together in communities. They can be found not only on the Internet, but also in real life. In most cities, these communities organize a training or meeting where you can practice communication skills with people who also suffer from embarrassment. They are also looking for a way to get rid of shyness, it will be easier to find a common language. Just don't think that attending such events will automatically make you a confident person. They get rid of shyness gradually. You will have to visit many public places before your fears finally dissipate.

How to get rid of love shyness?

It's one thing to get over shyness in order to make friends. Another is to find a soul mate and start a romantic relationship. Many people do not have any fear when communicating with people of the same sex, but as soon as it comes to communicating with the opposite sex, shyness and obsession with their own fears begin. For shyness when dealing with the opposite sex, a psychological term has even been coined - love shyness. The most effective way to get rid of it is psychotherapy.

The phenomenon of amorous shyness has deep roots in the mental development of a person and his genes. However, this does not mean that you cannot get rid of shyness in front of the person you like. It is advisable to visit a psychotherapist and perform the exercises given to him. But if you are not the owner of pathological modesty when dealing with the other sex, you can get rid of shyness on your own.

In front of a guy or a girl, try to behave as naturally as possible, do not deliberately try to get rid of shyness. Don't try to create a certain image to make the person fall in love with it. If you have a long-term relationship, the image will still be revealed, it is better to get rid of the desire to please at any cost. It’s best if the person loves you. As the relationship develops, shyness will decrease. A good love relationship helps you get rid of her.

Remember! The rest of the people also have significant flaws. Dale Carnegie advised, when speaking in public, to pretend that all the audience you are speaking to owe you a large sum of money. Initially, having put yourself a little higher than the other person, it will be much easier to communicate with him, shyness will disappear from the realization of his own superiority. It also helps to overcome the awkwardness at first, accompanied by inappropriate words and gestures.

There is a stereotype that a girl should be modest. From early childhood, girls are taught a sense of self-shame when dealing with boys. As an adult, it is very difficult for them to cope with shyness. Girls should remember that guys are also worried when communicating with the person they like. Each guy worries about his appearance and manners when he starts a dialogue with a beautiful girl. Keep this in mind and it will be easier for you to deal with the embarrassment.

Output

A feeling of tightness in communication arises from reduced self-esteem. A person who has difficulty with communication makes high demands on himself. The one who learns to accept himself along with his shortcomings, and also will not put himself below other people, will get rid of constraint. To achieve this, you need to spend a lot of time in practice, in which you will move from short conversations to building friendships and loving relationships.

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Every day you can meet a huge number of insecure and shy people. But, according to experts in the field, shyness is a trait of each of the people, it is simply expressed in everyone to a greater or lesser extent. So even if you do not suffer from a pronounced form of shyness, in any case, reading this article will benefit you, not to mention those for whom shyness is a serious problem on the way to a fulfilling life.

Shyness: what is it and where does it come from?

Since we started with the opinion of psychologists, then it is worth characterizing shyness from a psychological point of view. According to her:

Shyness (sometimes called synonymously "shyness" or "shyness") is such (or behavior) characterized by such properties as social awkwardness, constraint, tension, fearfulness, indecision, generated by a person's self-doubt or lack of certain social skills.

Often, others give shy people positive ratings such as "balanced", "modest" or "restrained", and the behavior of shy people can be interpreted as "secular" or "sophisticated." But we put the quotes here for a reason, because shyness can be safely called a mask behind which it is impossible to see a real person.

If you ask the question of where shyness comes from in a person, then you can find many opinions on this matter. Here are just a few of them:

Sociologists, as well as a number of Danish psychologists, agree that the root of shyness is to be found in the area of social attitudes when it comes to social decency.
According to the opinion, shyness is an expression at the level of consciousness of mental contradictions that are in the subconscious of a person
Behavioralists believe that shyness is the result of a lack of social skills that a person needs to fully interact with others.

Sociopsychologists say that the beginning of shyness is the moment when a person tells himself that he is shy.
Personality scientists are convinced of the genetic nature of shyness
Neuroscientists have their own opinion on this matter: shyness is caused by metabolic disorders in the brain of neurotransmitters and, as a result, asthenia of the central nervous system.
Doctors also distinguished themselves: for them shyness refers to mercurialism - a symptom of mercury poisoning

As we can see, nothing concrete can be said about the nature of shyness. And this is not the point, to be honest, since our task is to extract practical benefits from knowledge about shyness, not to form a theoretical basis. Therefore, without shelving, let us begin to consider the most effective ways to get rid of shyness.

How to get rid of shyness?

Try to closely trace the characteristics of your shyness and insecurity in order to understand their cause. Why are you experiencing these states and what are you afraid of? Do you experience them since childhood, or do you know they are acquired? And in the event that it is acquired, then what served as a catalyst, perhaps, difficult circumstances, failures, criticism or something else? Plus, think about whether you can fix the causes of your shyness on your own, or if you need outside help? How easy is it to do?

Try to realize what you dislike most about yourself and why? What is the starting point for hiding some part of yourself from others? What events can happen if you make an attempt to accept yourself and open up to others? : Imagine yourself as confident, relaxed and cheerful. Do this as often as possible.

See in your consciousness the “ideal yourself”, comparing your present self with which you experience discomfort and tension. What, what separates these two images, are you suffering from? What or who is the reason for the appearance of this "ideal you", and why is it so firmly ingrained in your consciousness? Do you think there is an opportunity for you to live a life in which you will not compare yourself with anyone, accepting yourself completely?

Practice seeing yourself in a non-judgmental and objective way. The initially seemingly neutral self-awareness will over time begin to awaken in you positive feelings, feelings of freedom and well-being. Gradually, you will become aware of yourself as one with the world around you, and this unity must be cultivated so that it finally drives out your shyness and timidity from you.

Create a Success Diary. Take a notebook and list in it all your successes and victories, situations in which you were confident and open, moments when you experienced pleasant emotions and elation. You will be surprised, but it will probably take you more than one hour or even more than one day to record everything.

Do not take yourself too seriously, but try, on the contrary, to look at yourself as if from the outside and with a touch of irony. Make fun of yourself and the fact that you are not sure of yourself. Accept your tension with ease, not judging yourself harshly, not reproaching for failures, but seeing them as a reason to work on yourself.

Do an unusual experiment - work with your energy. Sit in a comfortable and quiet place, relax and try to feel not a physical body, but an energetic body. To understand if there are any blocks and clamps inside you, you just need to pay attention to the sensations arising in the body: tingling, "aching" sensation, etc. Imagine them visually as dark spots, and then dissolve, soaking in the light of your energy.

Observe how relaxed and confident people behave. Read books about the life of prominent cultural figures, politicians, scientists, athletes, show business stars. You must understand why they are successful, how they think and what they are guided by in life. Such stories always have a motivating effect and force you to do something that you would not have done before. Get out of "" - try on the image of a successful and confident person.

Already in a new image, take action - do what you usually do. But do it with a feeling of confidence, freedom, liberation, having fun, and no matter who and what thinks of you. Inner freedom should permeate your entire being: gait, movement, voice, facial expression, and then move into actions.

Take the body clamping issue very seriously. physical stiffness has a formative effect on the mental and emotional state. To do this, you can get acquainted with elements, such as stage movement. You can find exercises to remove the clamps and start doing them. If you manage to liberate your body, you will notice that on the psychological level you have become freer.

When you feel that circumstances are pressing on you, or some people are pressing, put on an invisible “cap”. Imagine that you are wearing something transparent in the shape of a cap that reflects any attacks and negative impulses addressed to you, and also protects you from the blows of fate and negative events. Even if it seems to you that it does not work, your subconscious mind will perceive it exactly as it should - it will model behavior in such a way that you will be able to cope with problems.

Sometimes it happens that a person is not able to cope with his shyness and insecurity. If you are faced with a similar situation, and you cannot work with yourself in any way, you can seek help from a specialist. Today there are many centers for working with people experiencing any psychological difficulties.

Take the time and read this article again to understand more precisely what needs to be done. After that, immediately start doing everything described (if you really want to change). Start at least small, choose one thing, but do it today, in no case do not tighten it, otherwise the fuse will disappear.

But, at the same time, you should not turn on "automatic". Always remember what you are doing and why. Self-confidence is far from everything that can make your life successful. Not very good events will always happen, failures and some tricky situations will happen. It is important to be ready for this - morally, emotionally, psychologically and even physically, and this is possible only if you remain flexible in any situation.

Are you so nervous before performing in public that you feel like catching a cold and not performing? If so, then you are not alone. Many people in the world suffer from feelings of slight or severe shyness and try to overcome this feeling! Of course, this takes time, effort and, how could it be without it, the desire to change. Here are some tips to help you overcome shyness.

Steps

Part 1

Understanding shyness

Think about the reasons for shyness. Shyness isn't necessarily limited to introverts or people who don't like themselves. Shyness is the embarrassment that overtakes you when you are around other people. What is the reason for your shyness? In fact, shyness is a symptom of a more serious problem. Three options are possible here:

You have low self-esteem due to the fact that you cannot appreciate yourself. It's hard to stop listening to the inner voice that lowers your self-esteem, but in the end it is your inner voice and you must learn to control it.
You are fixated on what people think of you. This is due to the increased attention to their own person. If all your energy goes into controlling your actions so that you don't make mistakes, then don't assume other people are doing the same. We'll talk about shifting your attention to other people next.
You are only shy because other people think you are shy. Children tend to be shy. However, some people continue to view you as shy even as you mature. In this case, you just want to meet their expectations (and therefore are shy). Is it about you? Then live up to your own expectations, not the expectations of other people.
- Regardless of the reason, it is entirely possible to overcome shyness. The main reason for shyness is your thinking, which needs to be controlled.

Embracing shyness is the first step to overcoming it. The more you resist shyness (unconsciously or knowingly), the longer you will suffer from it. If you are shy, then take it for granted. Tell yourself, "Yes, I am shy and I accept it."

Find out what makes you shy. Does this happen when you are performing in front of an audience? Or when you learn a new skill? Or find yourself in an unfamiliar situation? Or are you ashamed of people you know and whom you admire? Or maybe when you don't know someone? Try to "catch" the thoughts that arise in your head just before such moments.
- You are not shy in all situations. You are not shy around your family, are you? What is the difference between strangers? Practically nothing - just your relatives know you better, and you know them. It's not about you, it's about the situation you are in.
List the situations that bother you. Place what worries you least at the top of the list and what worries you the most at the end. Once you describe the situations in words, you can move on to solving them.
- Be as specific as possible about situations. “Speaking to an audience” is a description of the situation, but it can also be specified. Speaking to the bosses? In front of those you like? By narrowing down the situation, you can solve it more successfully.
When you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working on them one at a time. The most "simple" situations will help you feel confident, and you can move on to more difficult ones.
- Don't worry if you have to go back to some points; do it at your own pace, but remember to push yourself.
Part 2
Controlling thinking
1. Think of shyness as a “command”. The reason for shyness is like a command in a computer program that tells the program what to do. Likewise, you can “program” your thinking. Consider the fact that our thinking from childhood is "programmed" to respond to certain stimuli, for example, staying away from strangers, heights, dangerous animals, and so on. Therefore, we react to some stimuli by default (as "programmed" in our brain), but such a reaction may be erroneous. For example, when some people see a lizard, they react to it as a nasty animal, while other people really like lizards. In the same way, when timid people see strangers (irritant), the natural (default) response is shyness. The truth is, you can get rid of shyness by “reprogramming” your thinking. You can do it like this:
  - Interview yourself and find out why you are shy.
  - Practice public speaking to overcome shyness. Push yourself to do the things that you are embarrassed to do. If you are embarrassed to be around strangers, you will probably prefer to retire in a quiet place, as this has been your natural reaction for a long time; this time, do not retire, but force yourself to talk to other people. Yes, you will feel very uncomfortable, but consider negative feelings as an incentive to force yourself to act in a way that you never did. After a few tries, you will realize that negative feelings and emotions actually helped you because they prompted you to change.
2. Switch your attention to other people. 99% of the time, people are embarrassed when they think that if they speak in public they will be embarrassed. Therefore, it is important to focus on other people. If we focus on ourselves, we start to worry about making a mistake.
  
  Close your eyes and imagine a situation in which you might feel shy. Now, in your imagination, try to feel confident in yourself. Do this exercise often for different situations. It will be most effective if you do this every day, especially in the morning. It may sound silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not give it a try too?
  - Include all your senses for a better self-confidence. Imagine yourself happy. What are you doing? How do you say? That way, when the time is right, you will be ready.
3. Watch your posture. If you stand with your shoulders back, you appear to the world as confident and open to others. We are often treated the way we present ourselves, so if you are an open person, your body should emphasize this.
  
  Speak clearly. This will help avoid the embarrassment of having to repeat what has been said. You have to get used to (and even love) your own voice!
  - Record your presentation. After listening to the recording, you will understand where you are making mistakes, for example, speak softly, although you think you are speaking loudly. At first, you will feel like an actor (and do the things that actors do in preparation for the role), but this will become a habit.
4. Don't compare yourself to others. The more you compare yourself to other people, the more you will feel that you do not correspond to them and the worse you will feel. It makes no sense to compare yourself with someone else, but if you do compare, then do it objectively.
  - If you have confident friends or family, talk to them about your shyness. Most likely, they will say that they also once struggled with shyness. You are just early on in the process of overcoming your embarrassment.
5. Develop self-confidence. Everyone has a special gift or a wonderful character trait. It may sound trite, but it is. Think about what you know, what you can do and what you have achieved, rather than focus on how you look, speak, or how you are dressed. Remember that even the “beautiful and successful” have something they don't like about themselves. And there is no reason to be ashamed of their "problem", because their "problem" does not bother them at all.
  - When you concentrate on this, you will realize that you have something to offer other people, for example, your knowledge or skills needed to solve a specific problem or keep a conversation going. Knowing this, you will not be shy about talking to other people.
6. Identify your social values and strengths. If you are not the "soul of the party" or the person who speaks the most and loudest, then this does not mean that you do not have strengths. Are you a good listener? Are you attentive to detail? It is possible that your forte is a trait that you have not even thought about. Perhaps your strong point is observing others from the outside.
  - Your strengths can give you an edge. If you are a good listener, you can probably identify the person who is in trouble and needs to speak up. In this case, such a person needs you. There is nothing difficult in this situation - just ask such a person: "What happened?"
  - In each social group, all roles must be assigned. You also have a role to play, you just cannot define it. No one person is better than another - you just need to know your strengths.
7. Don't be overwhelmed by common misconceptions. Extroverts aren't necessarily popular or happy, and shy people aren't necessarily introverts or cold, unmoved people. Don’t think about common misconceptions, but don’t be deluded about other people either.
  - Popular kids in school go to great lengths to be popular. This is great, but that doesn't mean they are happy or that it will last forever. Do not imitate someone who is not really who they seem. Listen to your own inner voice (at school, at university, etc.).
Part 3
Actions in various situations
1. Be informed. If you're going to a party, prepare to talk about a couple of popular topics. Is the government doing well? What will be the ending of the famous TV show? Read more and you can keep the conversation going on almost any topic.
  - There is no need to strive to gain deep knowledge. You just need to be able to keep the conversation going. Do not judge the interlocutor and do not insist on your opinion; be open and friendly. Saying, “I would not want to be in his place,” you will break the conversation.
2. Understand several stages of any conversation, and you can automatically keep the conversation going. Any conversation has four stages:
  - The first step is to strike up a conversation.
  - The second stage is the introduction.
  - The third stage is finding a common language; some topic that you can talk about.
  - The fourth stage is the end of the conversation. One of the interlocutors tells the other that he needs to go; the conversation is summed up and information may be exchanged. "It was a pleasure talking to you." “I never thought of her that way. Here is my business card!" - "Let's meet again."
3. Start a conversation. Remember that big project you finished? The mountain you climbed? The disease you have coped with? If you can start a conversation, it won't be difficult to keep the conversation going. A random phrase about something that applies to you and to your interlocutor will start a conversation. "This bus is impossible to wait!" or "Have you seen his tie today?"
  
  Warm up. If you are a guest, you can keep the same conversation over and over. Pick one or two people to talk to and talk to them about abstract topics (with courtesies and platitudes) until you get tired of it. Then go back to the people you really want to talk to and focus on the serious conversation.
4. Be open-minded. Demonstrate openness and friendliness with your body language. Do not cross your arms or hold anything in them and look at the interlocutor.
  - Think about the people you would like to talk to. What is their facial expression and posture? Now think about those you don't want to talk to. What category does your pose fall into?
5. Smile and look people in the eye. Smiling at a stranger will make you happy and happy. Smiling is a friendly way of showing appreciation to others and is a good reason to start a conversation with a friend or even a stranger. By smiling, you show that you are a friendly and open person.
  - People are social creatures. We are all looking for the communication that makes our life better.
6. Think about your body. When you are in a group of people (or even alone with another person), you probably become shy. This is fine. In this case, ask yourself the following questions:
  - Am I breathing right? Breathe deeply to relax your body.
  - Am I relaxed? If not, get into a more comfortable position.
  - Am I open? You can judge this by the posture of your body. Openness can change the way other members of society perceive you.
Part 4
Challenge yourself
You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. In this case, you are unlikely to find people who you like and have interests in common with you. Then why waste your time ?! If you do not like going to nightclubs, then this is completely normal. Chat with other people over coffee, at small parties, or at work.
Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in a position where you can't help but take action to combat shyness.
- Start at the top of the list, remember? It can be a short conversation with a girl, or a question about the time of a stranger at a bus stop, or a conversation with a guy whose locker is located next to yours. Most people don't like to start a conversation (guess why? Yes, because they are like you), but there are many topics for conversation.

If your family and friends know you as a shy person, they may tease you. Some will find it difficult to cross you out of this category, in which they themselves have written you. Just ignore them. They don't mean anything bad, but don't let them drive you back into the shell!
Sometimes shyness is an age problem; growing up, many people become more self-confident. If you feel uncomfortable trying to change yourself, stop - you may simply outgrow your shyness.