How to stop being afraid of losing your loved one. How to put such thoughts in his head? Observing how loved ones suffer after loss

Even in moments of happiness and sincere love, some guys begin to doubt the purity of their girlfriend's feelings and begin to fear losing her. And sooner or later it starts to take on an extremely depressing look, which has a robust effect on moral peace and the physical ability to make love.

It is difficult to think about something positive and good when you are haunted every day by the thought that tomorrow the girl may go to another, and you will be left completely alone. This provokes illogical and sometimes completely thoughtless actions, jealousy and threats of violence, in extreme cases.

Naturally, not a single sane girl wants to endure such behavior of her boyfriend and can really begin to doubt the advisability of a relationship with such an insecure man. This will provoke a new wave of doubts and worries, and everything will again take on a deplorable character. To avoid this scenario, there are a few tips to keep in mind.

Why relationships deteriorate

It's hard to believe it, but almost every relationship over time begins to burst at the seams, deteriorate and become a little boring than they were at the time of meeting and becoming. But brightness and novelty do not go unnoticed. In their place comes understanding, trust and love. And this is completely normal.

But many guys who are used to seeing, not feeling, begin to sound the alarm due to the fact that the girl no longer so willingly agrees to go for a walk at night looking, she is not so diverse in bed, and in general she began to discuss with you to a greater extent their problems, rather than admiration for the relationship with you. In other words, men begin to worry that they no longer see fire in their girls, and they do not want to accept the fact that the fire from the eyes passes into the warmth of the heart.

In this case, you just need to analyze the situation and honestly answer a simple question: "Does the girl see her future with you?" If the answer is “Yes”, then you should not worry and sound the alarm where there is none. If the answer is "No", then you need to move on to action.

What you need to do in order not to lose your girlfriend

As a rule, in a relationship, girls pursue fairly simple and understandable goals: whether it be a future family, recreation with entertainment, emotional understanding or material support with gifts. And it's safe to say that one of this goal will always be much more important than all the others. And, therefore, you need to understand: "What does a girl want from a relationship with you?"

If you clearly understand that you are satisfying most of her needs and desires, then she can leave you only in extreme cases: betrayal, betrayal, physical pressure or ordinary stupidity.

If you have problems making your girlfriend's demands come true. So you need to either work on it, or find a girl that suits you best. Since sooner or later such a girl will still choose another man for herself.

It is important to know and remember:

Men relate to the manifestation of love quite simply - I love, I give flowers, I do something pleasant. Those. desire, turning into a result. Women, on the other hand, value more not the result, but the process itself. This means that small gifts every day will be more effective than large gifts once a year. It is the same with the manifestation of feelings, emotions and sexuality. Women always need it, albeit in a small portion. Know how to use it!

Dealing with insecurity

Uncertainty most often arises from the fear that you may find yourself in a situation worse than you have now. But the more indecisively you act, the worse your situation with the girl becomes. Since he is afraid of losing only the man who thinks that this is the only girl who agreed to be with him. Confident people know that if not one, then another, and women see this and hold on! So you need:

Money and perspective.Choosing between considerate and rich, most girls will choose the rich, since there will be fewer financial problems with him and more opportunities to prove themselves a real woman. This means that you need to devote a little time to work on your financial situation and prospects. Women don't leave successful men!

Physical health.To be confident in yourself, you need to be satisfied with your appearance. For men, this most often lies in physical health and the amount of extra folds on the abdomen. Fortunately, now there are places where this can be solved quickly enough.

Impudence.A man must be a little arrogant so that a woman sees in him not just consumers, but also a real conqueror. Therefore, you need to learn to put your interests a little higher than the interests of your girlfriend. And the main thing is to skillfully show this to her, so that she knows that everything will happen, but your problems are solved first of all.

What we have as a result

The fear of losing a girl is largely due to the man's insecurity and lack of understanding of the goals that the girl pursues. If you can take care of yourself and understand the girl's desires, then all fears will pass, and you will become a real ideal for your chosen one.

The fear of losing someone close can arise at any time. Initially, the child is afraid of losing his parents. Already at a conscious age, there is a fear of losing a loved one. Various obsessive thoughts are formed, which do not allow to live, work, rest in peace.

The fear of losing loved ones is formed in childhood

The phobia of losing a loved one is the result of the death of someone very significant. It is difficult to survive such an event. Having a phobic disorder, the patient can no longer control his emotions and actions, which have arisen due to strong fear. But thanks to the development of psychology, such fears are curable.

Causes

The fear of losing a loved one can appear in early childhood. It is a consequence of childhood trauma. It is important for a baby that her mother is around the clock. The baby has a special bond with the mother, which is important not to break. If mom is not around for a long time, he will start to worry, get nervous. If this is repeated several times, fear will gradually form. The child will have a certain association and developed reaction to separation from the dearest person. This will be accompanied by hysteria and prolonged crying. If this fear is not eliminated initially, it will indeed develop into a phobia. And also related phobic disorders will begin to develop - fear of loneliness, death.

The fear of losing a loved one, a loved one, being left unprotected appears due to childhood traumas, such as sexual or moral abuse, constant humiliation from peers or parents, attacks from classmates, etc.

Other reasons due to which the fear of losing loved ones develops: divorce of parents, death of a relative, prolonged absence of a father.

It happens that the child is frightened by older brothers or sisters. They claim that at night the baby will be stolen by some monster and taken from his mother. As a result, the child experiences panic, terror, and hysteria. If the mother is gone for a long time, a panic attack may begin.

Another reason is watching for severe depression after a breakup. Usually, the objects of observation are older brothers or sisters who are experiencing the loss of a loved one. They are aggressively opposed to everyone. Any reproaches are answered with anger. The child sees this and remembers the reaction of a loved one. In the future, he may avoid any love contacts that he associates with pain, disappointment and fear of loss.

When a person is in adolescence or adolescence, personal experiences of painful separation are possible. He is fixated on one personality and is very upset by the loss of a loved one.

Another situation is when people meet or live together for several years. They become attached to each other and no longer represent life separately. For some time they feel good together, but at one point everything collapses and it's time to part.

Other causes of fear:

  1. Fixing attention on the negative. Internal trembling is no longer normal and the person begins to panic for any reason. In any action he sees only a bad, negative outcome.
  2. Low self-esteem. The girl begins to be jealous of the guy and believes that he will soon have a mistress. She has a feeling of guilt before her beloved. As a result, obsessive thoughts develop. She tries to keep her spouse by any manipulation, causing herself to feel pity. If a man suffers from fear of loss, he begins to over-control his beloved. It forbids leaving the house late, makes you change your clothing style to a very restrained one, often calls or writes SMS.
  3. News in the media. Recently, reports of the death or disappearance of people appear more and more often. Very emotional people begin to worry about loved ones and relatives. They try to control their every step in order to protect them from danger, but because of this, the situation can only worsen, and the contact is broken.

Some reasons are associated with the characteristics and personal qualities of a person. The fear of losing a person arises in people with excessive emotionality, suspiciousness. It also often manifests itself in people with trust issues. They are afraid that a person will deceive them and begin to worry for no reason.

Signs

Fear is formed gradually due to frequent and intense experiences. Initially, the person is often visited by obsessive and disturbing thoughts. He often begins to get nervous, afraid of something.

Then he becomes very intrusive. Every day he makes several calls to relatives, constantly asking if everything is normal and if something bad has happened.

Any news of missing children or adults in the news causes panic and hysteria. After such news, the patient cries for a long time. The disease develops gradually. Panic attacks may increase. They have the following manifestations:

  • cardiopalmus;
  • feeling unwell;
  • dizziness;
  • trouble breathing;
  • high or low blood pressure;
  • slight trembling;
  • excessive sweating;
  • frequent headaches, etc.

The patient starts having trouble sleeping. He may fall asleep, and if he falls asleep, he often wakes up in a cold sweat. I have nightmares.

If the disease progresses, nervous breakdowns can occur. For example, for parents, when their child is at a distance and for some reason stops answering calls. This can be the initial stage of a disease called mental neurosis.

The patient compulsively calls loved ones several times a day.

Effects

The result of the formation of fear of loss is the fear of harming loved ones or oneself. It most often develops in people with vegetative vascular dystonia (VVD). In psychology, it refers to obsessive-compulsive disorders.

It manifests itself as a panic fear of harming others. Various inadequate thoughts arise. The patient may begin hallucinations. It seems to him that he did something terrible, although in reality it did not happen. The result is that he constantly lives in fear for his life. Tries to isolate himself from others. He is afraid in a fit of anger to harm others or even kill someone.

The fear of harming someone close often appears in sleepwalkers. Being in a sleepy state, they cannot control their actions. When impressed by sleep, they may crawl on the floor with a knife or other piercing object.

Such behavior causes panic among household members and interferes with the patient's life. Some send the sick person to the priest, explaining that sleepwalking is an obsession. But since sleepwalking is a psychological and neurological disorder, the help of a qualified psychologist is needed.

The mother often has a fear of harm. Worries that someone will offend her child. So overprotection gradually develops. Mom does not allow the child to make a choice on their own, which spoils the relationship with him. You must learn to control yourself.

Fear arises for almost the same reasons as loss fear. Only the reaction to these reasons differs. The fear of losing a beloved man or woman is replaced by the fact that the person is afraid of becoming unprotected.

Sleepwalkers are often afraid to harm loved ones

Effective techniques

If the patient, at the initial stage, noticed something strange in his behavior and discovered the presence of fear of loss or harm to himself, you can try self-treatment. It usually gives good results, but short-term.

Basic ways:

  1. Breathing techniques. A deep breath, a slow exhalation is the basic rule of any breathing exercise. Inhale and hold your breath for 3-4 seconds. The exhalation lasts 2-3 sec. The interval between breaths is 2–3 s. The number of repetitions is no more than 7 times. Breathing techniques are appropriate when fear has just begun to appear. This will help you overcome it quickly.
  2. Affirmations. Whenever you feel an impending panic attack, remember positive statements. Repeat that everything will be fine, fear recedes, and nothing bad will happen to loved ones. Think that life is beautiful and that trouble will not affect your loved ones. The technique works by self-hypnosis. Since thoughts are material, the technique really helps a person to calm down and recover.
  3. Positive attitude. Reading interesting books or watching movies with a good, optimistic ending can help drive away obsessive thoughts. This will make it clear that life is filled with positive events. It is advisable to limit yourself to watching the news.

Every day you need to drink herbal teas and teas. Especially before bed. This will help calm you down.

Have aromatherapy sessions. It is convenient to do this at home. Fill the aroma lamp with lavender, chamomile, lemon balm, mint or other aroma oils. Put on some quiet music, get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, and imagine something good.

Remember that such procedures will not help completely get rid of the disease. It is better to seek help from a specialist in order to heal as quickly as possible.

Watching funny movies will help you tune in to the positive

Psychologist help

It is necessary to consult a psychologist if the disease does not allow a person to live in peace, and the feeling of anxiety has not left for a long time. Initially, the doctor will determine the stage of development of fear in order to correctly prescribe treatment. It is usually accomplished through a combination of cognitive behavioral and exposure therapy. Additionally, medications may be prescribed. Most often these are antidepressants.

At the first session, the psychologist wants the patient to give answers to the following questions:

  • what happens if I lose a loved one;
  • what is the reason for this fear;
  • what I feel when I cannot contact a person;
  • what will happen if a loved one knocks or somehow harms himself;
  • what happens if i hurt someone;
  • why am I so worried about my loved ones;
  • who said that something would happen to my family, etc.

This will help a person realize the essence of his problem and understand what the feelings are connected with. The patient will see himself from the side. This stage also involves describing the sensations that arise when the fear of loss or harm is activated.

In subsequent sessions, the doctor helps the patient to get rid of fear by immersing himself in a dangerous situation. He asks the patient to close his eyes and imagine something that is very frightening to him. This can be the loss of loved ones, harm to yourself or relatives. It is important that the main signs of fear appear.

After that, the terrifying picture in the subconscious changes to something pleasant. This can be a visualization of dreams or a representation of something that gives a feeling of joy and happiness.

This is how an abrupt change in thoughts and behavior occurs. Such exposure therapy lasts about 20 minutes. The goal is to teach a person to cope with their fears and be able to switch to something positive when the phobia sharply intensifies.

According to doctors, the manifestations of fear in the female sex are more pronounced. Therefore, the treatment takes longer than for men. On average, the number of sessions is 7–8. But girls often need 10–12 sessions to completely recover and stop worrying about family members over trifles.

Conclusion

The fear of losing a loved one is the result of childhood trauma, parental divorce, and frequent family scandals. The child is afraid of losing his parents, which is why mental disorders develop. The disease can form at a conscious age due to the negative influence of the media, low self-esteem and personal qualities of a person.

The main signs are dizziness, hysteria, heart palpitations. Panic attacks sometimes appear. You can try to get rid of the fear yourself, but this will only have a temporary effect. It is better to seek the help of a psychotherapist in order to forget about such a problem forever.

Often, after a quarrel with a loved one, many women think that if a man is not afraid of losing them (or simply does not express this in any way, although deep down he is very afraid), this means that he does not love them, does not appreciate them, does not feel for them no feelings at all.

Such women are most often mistaken. If it is not scary for him to lose his beloved, this means that he simply has not yet realized how dear she is to him.

Unfortunately, very often it is at this stage that novels end. She leaves, tired of trying to get his attention, and he realizes his feelings for her, as they say, after the fact. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing without breaking off relations with him? The method "by contradiction" will help to answer this question more precisely.

How you can not behave

For a man to be afraid of losing you, you must adhere to the correct line of behavior. To begin with, let's take a look at what should not be done in any case, since the result will be completely opposite:

  1. Tell him directly that you are going to do something in this direction. On your part, this will be a banal provocation, which will only lead to quarrels and insults.
  2. Flirt openly with other men. This can make him angry and he will simply lose interest in you.
  3. Follow your emotions and call him every five minutes if he is busy at work or went out with friends. He will think that you have no other interests besides him, which means that he has nothing to be afraid of, that is, he can behave as he wants.

It is very important to know one truth: a man is afraid of losing a woman if at least once he had to think about the possibility of such an incident.

How to put such thoughts in his head?

  1. He is not the only thing in your life. . Let him know. For example, if he warned in advance that he would go out with friends, do not call him, constantly asking where he is and with whom. If it has become completely unbearable - send an SMS with kind words or a funny emoticon. This will engender doubts in his soul why you didn’t call him yourself, what are you doing so interesting without him. If he asks about it, with an innocent look, answer that you watched a movie that you have been interested in for a long time, but that your young man still could not find time to watch together.
  2. Make it clear that other men are paying attention to you. . This should be done very unobtrusively, carefully and as if by the way. If a man is afraid of losing a woman, even if he doesn't express it in any way, such a "revelation" will be more than enough for him. Tell, for example, how a stranger gave you a seat on the bus and tried to strike up a conversation, or about an impudent person who wants to meet you in line at the clinic. Representatives of the stronger sex are hunters by nature, and a man is afraid of losing a woman if he sees potential rivals.
  3. Hint to him that you may be in for a long separation soon. Of course, this must be done with extreme caution. You can, for example, be interested in exchange programs with other countries. You don't even need to take part in competitions to go abroad. It is enough just to speculate aloud how interesting and informative it would be. When a man is afraid of losing a woman? Then, when there is a risk that he will not see her for a long time.

How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing? You just need to follow a few simple rules. They will be discussed further.

Cultivate what makes him dependent on you

Any relationship is built on interdependence. And that's okay. It is likely that he cannot imagine his life without the comfort that you create in the house, without your tenderness and even a smile, in the end, without the food prepared by you. You, in turn, also feel some kind of dependence - on his money, position in society and interesting conversations with him ... In general, situations are different. Determine what is especially dear to him in you, and put emphasis on it, develop it in yourself in every possible way. Does he sleep for a long time on Sundays and likes to pamper himself with junk food? Let him do it ... occasionally. Let him sleep, and you quietly get up and cook him his favorite dish. He will be very pleased. Or run to McDonald's and buy him a big bag of fast food. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing you? Sometimes indulge his whims, but you should not do this always, otherwise he will get used to it and stop taking such trifles as joy.

Be independent for him!

How to make a man afraid of losing? Always be as if at some distance from him. Know how to support yourself, do not be jealous, do not arrange an inspection of his phone or e-mail at the first suspicion of interest in other women. If he wants to change you, he will do it so that you do not know. Find a hobby, develop in every way, otherwise he will cease to appreciate you and lose all interest. What woman is a man afraid of losing? Smart, independent, unobtrusive, who will easily support any conversation. In general, the one with which he will be pleased to appear in society, which he is not ashamed to introduce to friends or parents. The main thing is not to forget about him during all these activities, to be interested in his affairs, to love and respect him.

Be a friend to him

It's not just women who need to be heard. Men need it no less. Take an interest in his affairs, ask about work, friends, hobbies, plans, successes. But don't overdo it. It shouldn't look like an interrogation. If he does not want to talk about something - do not impose, postpone the questions until next time.

Calm is the most important thing

Always be calm. Even if a conflict arose, and the man made a mistake in something, calmly explain to him exactly what he was wrong about. Some, of course, love the Italian passions and scandals that entertain the entire street. But this is rather an exception to the rule. The bulk of the stronger sex still wants meetings with their beloved woman not to be a burden for them. Understand that they need a "safe haven" in which to relax after a busy day.

A man should always feel like a winner.

Since ancient times, men have fought, or at least just competed with each other. They fought for the best land, the best food, the best woman. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing? You just need to let him fight for you and ... be the winner. Be a goal for a man, a dream ... Together with him, rejoice in his victories and do not take into account his defeats. He will definitely appreciate it and will be afraid to lose.

Little tricks

How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing his love? Sometimes cancel your appointments by citing important matters. The main thing is not to overdo it and endure such a period that he gets bored, but does not think that you have found another or simply avoid meeting. Of course, it's hard not to see your loved one for several days, but you need a result, don't you? In order not to be so hard, take care of yourself - visit a beautician, take a walk with your friends, go shopping. There is another option for behavior - always be different. All women are actresses to one degree or another, so change your looks every day. Today you are a Turgenev girl, a poet's dream, tomorrow you are a sexy kitty who will drive any man crazy, the day after tomorrow you are a smart intellectual or a cheerful girl - “your boyfriend”. He will not know which one he will see you next time, and this will add novelty to your relationship and even a certain piquancy.

He is not the only man in your environment.

We have already touched on this topic a little higher. Let him know that you are only his woman ... at least for now. Never force yourself on him. Just mention in passing that today you are meeting in a cafe with a classmate (still ... you haven't seen each other for so long, you have something to talk about!) Or that you will be late at work, because a colleague promised to help you complete a complex report. Do not hesitate - he will immediately want to meet a classmate or come running to meet you from work. The ideal option would be to be together in a company where there are several men who like you. Show each one a little attention - smile at this, joke with the other. But not more!

Don't flirt openly. Behave in a way that makes them happy to communicate with you, but not so that they can make long-term plans. You want men to compete with each other for your attention, and not see you as a cheap doll. How to behave so that a man is afraid of losing you? Show that you are interesting to other guys, but so far the only one for you is only him.

Fear can be different. In some cases, it is based on the instinct of self-preservation and "warns" about possible errors, dangers and problems that may arise. However, there are other fears to deal with.

Instructions

One of the most serious and important steps you must take is admitting your fears. Think not only of those you don't try to hide, but also those you ignore as if they weren't there. To shed more light on your concerns, write them down on a piece of paper. After that, if you wish, you can destroy this sheet, for example, burn or tear it, or attach it to the refrigerator with a magnet so that you know the enemy "by sight".

Try not only to realize, but also to feel your fear as deeply as possible. So that you can get rid of him, do not be afraid to “meet” with him and gradually overwhelm him. To make it easier to do this, you can draw up a detailed plan for your next steps. For example, if you are one of the many people who are panicky afraid of spiders, you can first look at photos with their image (so that it is not so scary, do this in the presence of a loved one). Repeat this experience periodically, and when you are convinced that you have learned how to cope with it - gradually you can try to look at the spiders, and only then at the living.

Noticing the approach of an attack fear, try to be distracted. For example, start fantasizing about something pleasant (if you are afraid to fly in an airplane, think about a wonderful vacation, not about the fact that flying by airplane is dangerous), count from 1000 to 0, or read a book. Another trick you can use is to replace negative thoughts with good ones. For example, if you walk into a yard where there is a dog, you may start to fear that it will bite you, or you may set yourself up so that it will not break off, as it is tied securely.

While you are just learning to overcome your fears and periodically succumb to attacks fear, do not forget that after them it is necessary to avoid caffeine, as due to its use fear may come back again. Therefore, do not drink coffee, tea and Coca-Cola and temporarily give up chocolate. Seizures fear significantly increase the level of adrenaline in the blood, so try to burn it if possible, for example, by active walking or exercise.

A loving woman wants her man to remain faithful and always be with her. And, of course, she worries about the fate of their relationship. But still, the fear of losing a loved one is more inherent in women in a society where a man occupies a dominant position. In Russia, too, for many centuries there was a cult of men in families, and the inner conviction of a woman that she is worth nothing without a stronger sex has settled on the genetic level. But in the 21st century, it would be worth getting rid of such a phobia.

Instructions

If you understand that this fear prevents you from living and feeling normal, then you have already taken the first step towards inner freedom. Try to drive away negative thoughts from yourself, because if some feeling takes possession of your entire being, you stop thinking rationally. And if you don't think, then you are doing a lot of stupid things and, perhaps, saying stupid things, than annoying the man to a large extent, since he most likely simply does not understand what is happening.

In some cases, the fear recedes if you speak well. Thoughts clothed in verbal form lose their sharpness, and the soul becomes easier. Try to find an attentive psychotherapist who will listen to you, teach you to reason differently and give a whole series of practical tips on how to deal with a man.

Sometimes a married friend, an older woman, and more experienced in family affairs can act as a "psychotherapist".

Try to understand why you are afraid. You may have already gone through a tough breakup and don't want it to happen again. Then you should once again analyze your past experience and draw rational conclusions. Don't repeat your mistakes.

If the reason for your fears is that you are insecure and underestimating yourself as a person, try to work on your qualities. For example, identify and write down in a column your advantages, for which you should be loved and respected, and disadvantages. Don't know how to cook? Who's stopping you from going to cooking courses and learning how to do it professionally ... Not attractive enough? Play sports and learn to use makeup. Think about how and what you should dress ... Just do not do all these things for the sake of your loved one. You need them to increase your self-esteem.

Make sure your love is mutual. If, after much thought, you come to the conclusion that a man simply does not love you as much as you do, then whether you are afraid of losing him or not, but the breakup is quite possible. Honestly admit this bitter fact and stop being afraid.

Your life belongs only to you, and in no case should you dissolve in the interests of the man you love. Look for activities that you personally enjoy, and don't waste time with silly thoughts and doubts. If you have other hobbies and passions (friends, movies, painting, dancing, sports, etc.), you will not be so dependent on a man.

Take care of your intellectual development. Read more and explore new areas of expertise. To do this, you do not need to become a "bookworm" or, but by absorbing new information, you will feel more confident and competent. You will respect yourself more, and your man will be more interested in you.

Imagine the worst: he is you. And after the first attack of panic, when the ability to think back to you, think: so what? Life does not end there, there are many other interesting people around whom you have no idea about now, and you are still a smart and attractive woman ... Imagine how many opportunities freedom gives you.

If you really love him, let him go in search of a better destiny. And not because you are a masochist or so kind. It's just that many men, sometimes unconsciously, play these fears with women. And if you do not cling to him as the last hope in life, then perhaps this will "hook" him more. There are losses in life, you should be ready for this, but you should not worry about something that may never happen. Appreciate your happiness today.

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Finding a person with whom you want to live your whole life is difficult. But it is even more difficult to maintain a relationship for years to come. Women's wisdom and patience will help you save marriage from life's hardships, disagreements and conflicts.

Instructions

Don't limit your husband's freedom. Recognize the right to exist for his hobbies and personal space. Do not control every step of your spouse, it will choke him and irritate him. Sometimes it will be helpful for you to spend time apart from each other. Let your husband go about his business, meet friends, and you pay attention to your hobbies.

Don't start yourself up. Yes, you have already married a loved one, but this does not mean that now you can relax and stop conquering him. Keep seducing him every day. To do this, you need to be in the same great shape as before the wedding. Also, watch yourself, and maybe even harder, because the older you get, the more time you regularly need to spend in front of the mirror and with the beautician.

Change. Make changes to your image, wardrobe, hairstyle and makeup from time to time. Your husband will rediscover you. In order for your new image to pleasantly surprise him, and not shock him, do not allow cardinal changes.

Pay attention to your man. Remember to say how much you love him. Express your respect and even admiration for his intelligence, strength, beauty and other strong qualities of your husband.

Travel together. In order not to be in a relationship, it is useful to change the environment sometimes. Take a vacation and spend it on the seashore or in an exotic country. On weekends, go to nature, take a walk in the forest, and go fishing.

Learn to listen to your husband. This quality will be very useful to you when you meet a man from work. If you are distracted and constantly interrupt him, a new session of frankness in your soulmate will not happen very soon, since with your behavior you will discourage everyone from talking heart to heart.

Develop. Be an interesting conversationalist and companion for your common hobby for your husband. If nothing brings you together, except for pans and a TV, very soon he will get bored with you. In this case, there is a risk that your husband will start looking for exciting communication on the side.

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Some people have a fear of losing loved ones. And sometimes this feeling becomes a phobia that interferes with a normal life. Paradoxically, the more a person is afraid of losing a loved one, the higher the likelihood that this will actually happen. Attempts to keep a loved one very often lead to separation.

Instructions

Very often, the fear of losing a loved one arises from low self-esteem. Some people think that they themselves are not needed, that they can be abandoned at any moment. Therefore, first of all, engage in raising your own self-esteem. Always try to learn something new, to learn something. Even if these are little things that will not be useful to you in life. Start learning a new language, sign up for yoga courses, read new books. A person who leads an interesting and varied life is interesting to many. So, to be afraid of losing him.

Learn to love yourself. Not for something, but just like that. Do something for yourself every day that you enjoy. Be sure to play sports. Go to the gym, pool, exercise at home, or just go for a walk. Your body should always be in good shape. And in and of itself, playing sports greatly enhances the mood.

Adjust your image. Change your hairstyle, buy yourself some new clothes, dye your hair. A person who is satisfied with his appearance inspires sympathy among the rest. You don't have to make drastic changes. Sometimes buying a new scarf alone will lift your spirits and improve your self-esteem.

Think in advance how you will behave if a loved one leaves you. Realize that nothing catastrophic will happen, life will not end. You will likewise be meeting friends, doing household chores, shopping and drinking coffee in the morning. It may even be easier for you without this person being present. Limitations will fall away, you will become more free. When you realize this, the fear of loss will be less.

Do not try to tie a loved one to you, you should not keep him on a short leash. The less you try to tie someone to you, the more likely that person will not leave you. Frames and limitations most often cause only one desire - to break out of them.

Sources:

  • how not to be afraid of parting

Tip 6: How to overcome your fear of losing your loved one

The fear of losing a loved one can significantly spoil family relationships. How to get rid of obsessive thoughts?

The fear of losing a loved one can be based on self-doubt. Here you need to work hard on yourself. If you are complex about your appearance, take care of yourself, exercise, proper nutrition, a healthy lifestyle solves many problems associated with appearance. Also, a properly selected hairstyle and wardrobe will highlight the advantages and hide the disadvantages. Visit special courses on self-improvement, read the relevant literature.

Don't find fault with yourself. When communicating with your other half, do not strive to be perfect, do not beat yourself up for what you said or did wrong. Anyone can be wrong. Your spouse is the same imperfect person, able to understand and perceive you as the person you are.

At such moments, the girl is very nervous, and her behavior is such that it can provoke a complete break in relations. And it's true: the most interesting thing between people in love is just beginning, like a girl, for no reason at all, throws a tantrum and demands incomprehensible explanations. It is at such moments that girls begin to ask their loved ones not to leave them. It is possible that they did not even think about quitting until this moment, although now they will definitely think about it.

Therefore, if a girl does not want to lose her beloved, she should stop worrying about this and not pester the man. And the relationship must necessarily have a certain meaning.

In addition, the girl must necessarily understand that the guy is not her personal property, so communication should be based on the desire to be together on both sides. And to impose oneself on another - there is no point, because you will not be cute by force. So the person for whom the girl feels love must be respected.

Fear is a negative emotion that may well be destructive. Therefore, girls in such situations need to change their mood and try to reprogram themselves to be positive.

But the main thing is that a girl or woman should become for her man exactly that unique one that can outshine all other representatives of the weaker sex.

How are they not afraid to lose a man or a woman? Husband or wife? Take a closer look at yourself.

How much is your inner personal platform, your basic self, regardless of the circumstances in your relationship with your partner? Does your psychic energy flow, as in the case of communicating vessels? When it decreases in one, it increases in the other and vice versa.

It happens that one of the spouses (lovers) plunges into their dark depths, or into a streak of bad luck. Then the second gives him a shoulder and feels more confident. As soon as the "sufferer" gets out of his misfortunes, the second gradually loses his confidence. In other words: as soon as you begin to need less support and approval from your partner, it grows to lose you.

If so, this is a wake-up call! Your marriage, love is in danger. There is not enough room in the space of personal feelings for both of you to be strong. Therefore, the history of relationships becomes like a "transfusion" of energy from one communicating vessel to another. Sometimes, in order not to lose a loved one, he (a) subconsciously wants trouble to happen to you, and he can become strong. Or maybe you noticed something similar in yourself?

When you need to be needed, you contribute to the weakness of your chosen one. If he needs you to need him, then he contributes to your weakness. This is unconscious suppression. However, it can be worse. Conscious suppression also occurs among couples who strive for "unity."

So, don't use your partner as a motor and don't let him use you. You won't get that far. You "stick" to the person next to whom you can show your best qualities. This means that without it you will not realize yourself, and you will live in fear of losing your source of energy. So grab him or her with a stranglehold.
Think about what happens to a drowning person who clings to their savior. Both of them can go to the bottom! This is most often the case.

Why not each of you develop your own ability to swim and float instead of hoping and relying on the other? Why not both become good swimmers? Then fear will lose its meaning.
If you cling to your partner like a drowning man, then he has a desire to push you away - in order to survive. This triggers the instinct of self-preservation. And you can't trample against instinct! The tighter you hold onto someone, the more the repulsive force grows. This subconscious process is not easy to track when it starts. But when it picks up steam, you can't stop it.

To understand how not to be afraid of losing a man, a woman, I do not advise you at all to separate from everyone and cherish your ego. I am trying to explain to you: “being yourself” and “being with someone” is not a contradiction, but realities that need to be brought into balance. Any misalignment creates problems that destroy the strongest feelings and the most reliable. union. If strength and reliability are subjected to constant testing, they may fail. We live in a polar world where absolute strength and absolute reliability do not exist.

When a partner is trying to manipulate you or remake you, you need all the firmness to be yourself while maintaining a good relationship. Thus, you will save your love union from destruction. Yielding to outside influence, on the contrary, cut the safety rope and fly into the abyss.

How not to lose a man or a woman?

Here are some things to look out for in your life together:

  • Spouses often focus on each other's shortcomings, instead of developing dignity - their own and with whom you have a relationship.
  • Your personal ability to think, feel, and act for yourself is largely shaped by your parents. You tend to copy your parents, even if you don't consider them a worthy role model.
  • The hope that your spouse will rip you out of the parental nest matrix is \u200b\u200busually not justified. It is his (her) desire to do this that will create problems.
  • The opinion that you are "promoting" your partner is most likely a fantasy that you indulge yourself with, and a real threat of losing a person forever. When you acknowledge that you are about the same level, it will be easier for you to see what emotions, reproaches and demands you are exchanging.
  • Defending your own interests in marriage and intimacy, rather than constantly sacrificing them for others, will make you happier.
  • The criterion for your assessment should not be what others think of you or feel about you! The main criterion is your own opinion of yourself, your feelings and sensations. Stop looking at yourself in the distorting mirror called OTHERS. Whoever these "OTHERS" are - parents, spouse, sweetheart, girlfriend or boyfriend.