I try to watch the news less often because it makes me want to scream. I'm so upset when I hear about everything that's going on in Washington and our economy, and how those who need the most help will get less of it.
You probably already assume that I will continue my verbal tirades - but what good will I do? Will this help improve things in Washington? No... Will it help those in need? No... Will this help me feel better? No!
This will only create unhealthy stress in my body, in my mind, in my emotions and reduce my loving energy and energy field, which can negatively affect anyone who is close enough to me. I call it "being explosive" - when someone (or I) has an energy field that is stressed and angry... It's not attractive! I want to move away from this. Except when sometimes this “impulsiveness” is within me, it is part of me.
Stress, anxiety and sadness contribute to the enrichment of our body with adrenaline, which is believed to protect us, helping us to escape from the saber-toothed tiger so as not to become its lunch. What happens is that when we experience stress or anxiety, our wonderfully designed body experiences an extreme rush of blood so that we become able to defend ourselves, fight and flee.
We don't need that much blood flow in our major organs, our immune system, our reproductive system. We don't need to save our lives! Most of us sit in front of our computers or in our cars or in front of the TV and when we feel stressed, we don't feel the need to fight for our lives. Excessive adrenaline in our systems can cause serious harm to our body and can result in heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, immune problems, reproductive organs and more.
I could go on about how stress and anxiety can negatively impact our bodies, our emotions and our lives, but I'd rather offer you some tips on how to cope with stress. So here are some simple tips:
1. Breathing
It's amazing how many of us unconsciously hold our breath when faced with a difficult situation, fear, as if expecting something.
I was teaching a client and when I mentioned his father, he noticeably stopped breathing. He said he didn't want to remember that part of his past. He carefully hid it from himself because it caused him great pain. Well, we did discuss some of what was hidden - let it come out! My client began to breathe and the flow was restored, and he began to feel much better.
To calm yourself, breathe using “square breathing.” Inhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four. Repeat this breathing four times or more.
2. Movement
As I mentioned, stress and anxiety cause a release of adrenaline in our body, which causes our heart to beat faster, we may sweat more, we may feel a tightening of our muscles, a spasm in our throat or a tightness in our jaw - we are physically ready to fight or run away. So, it is very clear that the best way to calm our stress is to move - take a walk, do some exercise that will help your body burn off excess adrenaline.
3. Stay in reality
Return to the present time! When we're anxious or stressed, we often overthink the future and all the terrible things that could happen. Realize that here and now, right now, you are okay - you are alive, your body is healthy and functioning normally, you still have a house, a car, you live in your own city, you have a choice of what to think about and what to focus on. .
Sometimes I have to remind myself of what I have in this life: 2 arms, 2 legs, a comfortable bed, fuel in the car, food in the refrigerator... Right here, right now, I am safe and everything is fine.
4. Remember that you have legs and a body.
When we are stressed and anxious, we start to ruminate in our minds. We forget that we have a body. We forget to breathe or move - we just keep screwing up. So, start wiggling your toes. Extend your toes up and back towards your head to form an arch. Touch your feet and body to the ground. Use my grounding meditation to help you with this.
5.Reduce your intake of caffeine, sugar, salt, alcohol and tobacco!
We are designed to fight or flee when we encounter life-threatening events or creatures. We create this fight or flight response - many of us on a regular basis - through our thoughts or worries. However, we also create an adrenaline fight-or-flight response when we eat or drink caffeine, sugar, salt or alcohol and when we smoke. Reducing your intake of coffee, tea, chocolate, sugar, etc. can definitely reduce your stress response.
6. Contact
Remember, you are not alone! Call a friend. Go somewhere where there are people. Look and smile. Sometimes even going to the store and saying a few words to the cashier can help.
7. Let your energy flow
One of the reasons I love teaching Reiki is that it is a tool that anyone can use anytime, anywhere. If you know Reiki and you are feeling stressed, you can place your hands on your head and this will help you calm down. Or you can place your hands on your back above your lower back (near the kidneys and adrenal glands) to calm your adrenal glands.
Sometimes when we are exposed to stress for too long, we need outside help. Have a massage or recovery session energy balance. Talk to a therapist.
We are created like a river. Energy flows pass through us. When you bring back the flow state, then the stress dissipates. When you learn to keep yourself open and fluid, then you will be able to manage your stress much better.
Translation of an article by my Master Irina Kozlova.
Bloody chains of suffering,
Depressive peace
The struggle for recognition of desires,
Trying to find out who he is...
Digging into your own ego
Unbridled pessimism
Desire for black snow
On rainy summer days.
The alarm clock is ringing. I open my eyes. Early morning. I smile at the first rays of the sun. Everything around is awakening. Birds chirp merrily. I get up easily and naturally. I welcome the day with open arms in anticipation of the happy moments it will bring. So do others. What about me?
But for me it’s exactly the opposite. How painful it is for me every morning. I don't want to wake up. I don’t want to enter this world, this uncomfortable, terrible world for me. Every new day is a punishment for me. Opening my eyes, I want to fall back into the night, my only salvation. I need nothing. Do not want to live. I want to “howl at the moon.” Why is everything different for me than for others?
Who am I?
I'm living my worthless life. I don't see the point in life. Every minute is a burden. Feeling of hopelessness. Loneliness. And even in the crowd I'm alone. I don't see anyone, I don't notice anyone. There are people around like shadows. I am a stranger among them.
Who am I? What am I living for? Who can answer this question? I've been looking for this answer all my life. Friends say: “Go out in public and have fun.” What can I answer them? I'm silent. And no one understands how much pain I have inside. Pain that eats away at the soul.
I could not find answers to all these questions either in religion, or in esotericism, or in theology. Yes, there are some guesses. Some methods provide temporary relief. But the question “what is the meaning of life” remains a question. Where can I find the answer?
According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, people differ from each other in their innate properties. Each person is born with his own desires, abilities, with his own set of vectors. Questions about the world order belong to the owners of the sound vector.
These people - sound people - constantly ask themselves the questions “who am I”, “what is the meaning of life”, “why do I live”. And they are the ones who have abstract intelligence that is potentially capable of finding answers to these questions. This is their natural task.
These are egocentrics. Introverts, often fixated on their inner world. It is difficult for them to verbalize what is inside. If other people have a world inside and a world outside, then they have both worlds inside.
The world around them is more or less illusory. An absent look into nowhere, looking through people. They love solitude and silence. Silent. They don't need communication. They have a hard time making any contacts. Night is my favorite time of day.
They have completely different desires than other people. They don't have enough of what other people have enough of. Even if you have everything you need for a prosperous life, the sound engineer will still have the feeling that something is missing. Everything material is alien to them and in itself does not bring satisfaction. The physical body has no value.
When sound desires do not find satisfaction, their vital questions hang unanswered, emptiness, lack and a constant feeling of the futility of any efforts, the meaninglessness of life arises. At the peak of this suffering, thoughts of suicide come
. At the same time, the sound artist does not want to die, he is sure that the soul with which he associates his Self lives forever, he wants to free his soul from the torment of life in an ill-fated body. He wants to throw his shell in the trash.
It hurts... It's bad
When your soul hurts, you just want this pain to go away as soon as possible. Moreover, a person often does not understand what causes this pain, apathy, and complete loss of any desires. SVP explains that depression without a visible external cause occurs only in sound people. To alleviate this condition, it is necessary to fill the sound vector. But this also has its difficulties. Those sublimants that previously gave a feeling of fullness (religion, philosophy, music) are now not enough. And the sound artist, not understanding himself, seeks salvation in computer games, hard rock, drugs, suicide.
The biggest shortages and suffering are in the sound vector. As well as the greatest desires for comprehension. Desires in sound are something that cannot be touched, cannot be seen. Only the sound artist can save himself from depression. Having realized his mental shortcomings, a person can independently come out of deep depression.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to reveal what is hidden in our unconscious. Through a systematic awareness of his psyche, the sound artist receives answers to all his questions, he receives a tool for further research into the root causes of what is happening, everything that so demandingly seeks justification in him and by understanding himself and others, he will be able to see the meaning of life and feel the pleasure of life.
I also didn’t understand what was wrong with me before. I thought: “Why is everyone around me happy, but I can’t do that?” And now I have found the answer. I found a way out - a way out of this darkness, out of this dungeon. And if you are interested in this, if all these issues are close to you, and you want to get out of depression, then free lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan will allow you to penetrate the unconscious, understand the causes of depression, and show ways out of this situation. After all, I really don’t want to lose this life...
The article was written using materials
: From disappointment and pain I want to howl like a wolf!
Hello! All the men I've dated include a little bag of quirks and problems. All meetings happen almost the same way.
The first week is spent with romantic dinners and gatherings by the water, looking at the stars. We drink champagne and I find out that my eyes are like two emeralds, my curls are like those of a goddess, and my legs are naturally more beautiful than those of a Playboy cover model. A little later - the first night of love, coffee in bed and a declaration of love. A couple more weeks pass and my dear one begins to take his ill-fated suitcase to our meetings. Gradually I learn the contents of this reticule. It turns out that my beloved has a thousand shortcomings.
At first, I close my eyes to all this and tell myself that we are all not perfect, and even when shortcomings develop into huge problems, I continue to hope that everything is not so bad. The first man I took seriously turned out to be terribly self-confident. After meeting my parents, my dad asked me not to bring this self-confident peacock again so that he wouldn’t be able to stand it a second time.
The second was a former drug addict with severe mental disorders. Screams and Bad mood was the daily menu. The third one had Mom in his suitcase. They lived together their entire lives. Mom did everything for her son, washed, washed, cleaned, cooked and did not forget to blow away the specks of dust from him. I soon learned that my mother does all the shopping, from shampoos (for sensitive hair) to clothes and underwear. Now imagine what a scarlet flower I got! Mom was always and everywhere right; you couldn’t even think badly about her. Well, mom, in turn, is ready to gnaw the throat of anyone who encroaches on her cat.
The fourth handsome man wanted to put me at home behind seven locks. I was strictly forbidden to wear short skirts, talk to men, leave the house alone, or even work. He claimed that everyone was trying to deceive us and ruin our relationships. You can't trust even your closest friends. In a word, he turned out to be paranoid and a terrible egoist. These are not all examples of my ex-boyfriends. I tried not to pay attention to the problems, but it didn’t last long. Almost everything was tried; scandals, pleas and tears were useless. Having suffered enough, I decided to leave, and believe me, it was not very easy. Naturally, they asked to give them another chance, and I gave it, but this did not solve the problem. I always experienced breakups very strongly and never stopped believing in happiness.
Now I have once again broken up with my loved one. I have very strong feelings for him, but not understanding each other outweighed everything. We stayed together for a year, but fate Once again played a cruel joke on me. I had almost lost hope of meeting the right person for me. Many of my friends say that I'm wrong, you have to fight for love, loving person never gives up. They also understand that it is terrible to live with a person who does not understand you, with someone who makes you cry at night and with someone who does not notice anything around him. Do I really have to endure all the humiliation and scandals?!
Am I really wrong in breaking up with all the men, but I’ve been trying for a long time to change anything. I’m just tired of fighting, always fighting for the right to simple human happiness... I tried for a long time to understand what is better: to live in an eternal struggle or - without problems, but also without love. The choice always fell on loneliness, but now I'm starting to doubt the correctness of my decision!
I want to howl like a wolf from disappointment and pain!
[email protected]
Olga-WWWoman: Hello Loya! I don’t know if I can console you if I express my opinion: a beautiful, bright, interesting and extraordinary woman’s youth, as a rule, is stormy and full of trial and error. You take your time, you are natural and organic. Through pain and disappointment, you will come to wholeness, your shell will grow, you will determine your tastes, and you will learn the secrets of the relationship between a man and a woman. If you are given the ability to be reborn and remain yourself without breaking your essence, everything will be fine in the end. You will become stronger, more interesting and even more attractive. And there will definitely be someone worthy who recognizes your right to be yourself, who will treat you properly, who will value you, love and understand you. In the meantime, the throwing of beads on your part continues, but negative experience is also valuable. Don't lose hope, believe in yourself, accumulate strength and success. I wish you good luck and fulfillment of your cherished desires! Marina: MeI am increasingly thinking that I have connected my life with the wrong person. Olya, good afternoon! I have been reading your magazine for three years now. I read the letters of your readers and your answers, it’s rare to meet such a responsive interlocutor as you, delving so deeply into other people’s problems. I didn’t think that I would ever write to you, but now I am at some crossroads.
Briefly about myself: I will soon turn 30 years old, I have a husband (we will soon celebrate 10 years of marriage) and a beloved son (8 years old). But there is a problem: my husband has always been very unrestrained, at the age of 20 this manifested itself in very frequent quarrels, during pregnancy I cried every day, he lived his life, showing no interest in me at all (though then we lived with my parents, namely this is how he explains his behavior), now we have a good apartment, I have a good job: interesting, well paid for our region, but my husband started having hysterics for another reason: he is very jealous, just goes crazy, gets drunk (with beer) and starts screaming.
I can take screams calmly, I’ve learned not to take them to heart, but so far this does not concern my interests. Now a pressing question has arisen: in order to maintain my place in the company, and especially to rise even higher, I must constantly improve my professional level (the requirements in the company are becoming higher), but my husband interferes with me in every possible way, I cannot leave home not even for a single day, moreover, I can’t even study in our city.
I convinced my husband that he needs to study if he wants to achieve anything in this life, he never saw the need for this, a year ago he finally decided to enroll, I help him with all my might, I write tests, I help him prepare for exams . He believes that my studies will interfere with his studies, and promises to quit his studies as soon as I enroll.
At work I was offered a very good trip abroad to a conference, but he promises that if I leave, he will: 1) quit his studies (he has a session during this period), 2) drink (and we have a child), etc. .d. and so on.
I don’t know what to do, I’m increasingly thinking that I’ve connected my life with the wrong person, at the same time, it’s very scary to be left alone with a child. I am in turmoil, I could lose either my job or my husband, but I don’t want to lose either. Everyone advises me to go, no matter what (similar offers do not come twice), my husband does not understand that I can refuse the trip and study, but I will never forgive him for this.
I don’t know what to do, maybe you can advise me something, although I can imagine how many letters you receive per day, and with much more serious problems. I hope I didn't distract you too much. Marina.
Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Marina! My opinion: this is growing pains. You have long outgrown your husband, and he will never forgive you for this either. Instead of rolling up his sleeves and proving that he, too, can grow and develop, he is panicked that you will soon understand that he is not a match for you. I cannot take on such serious responsibility and advise you something specific, but, imagining myself in your place, I can roughly outline the line of my possible behavior. I think I would take a risk and go - after all, your professional success, which you have been achieving for a long time, persistently and through a lot of work, is at stake. I would tell him something like this: “The issue is resolved - I need to go, and not for myself alone, but so that our family and our child in the future have confidence in the future. I cannot stop halfway and sign for in my powerlessness, tell my boss: my husband is an unreliable person and I can’t leave my child with him even for a week. So I’ll go and do what I have to do not only for my own sake. And please don’t let me down. What if you you think that my efforts can be nullified by whims and ultimatums - then, if you do not justify my trust and disappoint me upon your return, I will have to seriously think about our future relationship. If you don’t want a divorce, help me and support me. If you don’t care, then and I will act accordingly." Marina, be sure to ask someone to look after your son - you never know, I hope you have someone to look after him, if anything happens, because leaving the boy in unreliable hands is dangerous. I wish you to find a decent way out and not be afraid of anything. The moment you stop being afraid of loneliness and realize its great advantages, then your family will begin to strengthen and acquire positive changes, believe me. Good luck and good luck again! Valeria: He doesn’t kiss me (continuation of the first letter): Olenka, hello. Thanks for your opinion and support. It was important for me to hear that he was not indifferent to me. However, the situation continues - sometimes calls from him, he is now away on business for a while, so I don’t see him. He will arrive in a week, he will probably call: to invite him to go out with his friends or to look at new photos, and again nothing else. I like him more and more - he behaves absolutely freely and politely, but on the contrary, because of these misunderstandings and my growing dependence, I am constrained. And I feel, I think he's losing interest a little bit. Or maybe I'm just afraid of it. The matter is aggravated by the fact that I am now without a job, in search, but his work is all right, he has little free time. Of course, social status leaves its mark - a busy person is always calmer, but I am not independent, it turns out. Who would like a non-working person?.. Am I depressed or what? I'm so tired of leaving... I wouldn't want to lose him. Can you suggest a line of conduct on my part? How not to lose him, not to scare him away. Sorry to bother you, but what a blessing it is that you still exist.
Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Valeria! Yes, I am, you are always welcome to listen, but every time you have to transform yourself... :-) It is sometimes difficult to express an opinion without having all the information. But, given that, first of all, you just want to talk about yourself, about your boyfriend, I can keep the conversation going and speculate a little. So: I think that, of course, you and him are now in different weight categories: he is busy and very busy, you are a pleasant reward for him in moments of rest, and you are not working and are free, all thoughts are about him, and so on. .. Be that as it may, take your time and take your time. He looks closely, evaluates, weighs. Be on point, sometimes refuse, sometimes be late; there is no employment and other interests - at least create the appearance, otherwise very soon he will lose all interest. Good luck! Irina Nikolaeva, Moscow: Culture is not a list of attractions, museums, exhibitions, etc. Olga, hello! I read articles in your magazine by Elena Wyatt (USA) and Natalia Tkachenko (USA) about culture in America. Elena’s thoughts are closer to me, but Natalya also writes the right things. And yet, something wouldn’t let me go, made me think and think, something was ripening and, in the end, giving up all my household chores halfway through, I sat down at the computer and wrote this:
Culture is not a list of attractions, museums, exhibitions, etc. This, it seems to me, is ATTITUDE. People’s attitude towards the world around them, acceptance and perception of it as it is. Perception and vision of this world through the eyes of other people - after all, everyone lives and sees in their own way.
And you can see a lot. You just need to wish for yourself - to see... ...A teenager on a garden bench, playing on a wooden horn a tune that gently sounds in its simplicity... ....A cast-iron openwork antique grate - at the sidewalk of a street filled with the roar of cars and the crowd of people... .... Muzzles and chimeras, elegant patterns of capitals, stone medallions on ancient Moscow mansions - just raise your face and look beyond the barrier of billboards... This is the applause that arose after watching a Mel Gibson film in the dark space of the cinema: but this is the last one, the night one session and the audience - fifteen to seventeen-year-old residents of the metropolis, who are unlikely to be surprised or touched by anything... This is when a nine-year-old child, listening to tango performed by violins, cellos and violas, says to his mother sitting next to him: “Rush”... When the audience stands up and applauds the one passing between chairs for the old actress, and a man from the back row comes out and kisses her hand... ... When a gaggle of seventh-graders are rushing not to a disco (they'll go there later!), but to an exhibition of miniatures in the Pushkin Museum...
And I want to say one more thing - your magazine is wonderful. He makes WOMEN out of housewives, or rather, makes them remember what they are and who they are :)))
Sincerely, Irina Nikolaeva, Moscow
[email protected]
Olga-WWWoman: Hello Irina! Thank you for your interesting and intelligent letter. I’ll say about housewives: it’s not me who makes women out of them, they have always been, only sometimes life makes you forget about your spiritual and other interests for the sake of taking care of your family. I probably, with my magazine, give them the opportunity to somehow fill the gap in communication, and, without leaving home, get at least some generalized information on the Internet every day, sometimes equal in volume to the information of a sociable free person. And God grant that our club - with all its articles, letters, stories, confessions - makes each of us happier, at least one iota.
You wrote simply great about culture. I completely agree, you added several important facets to our overall view of it. And for me, culture is intelligent, attentive Leningraders (St. Petersburg), always showing the way, this is Dmitry Likhachev, this is anti-rudeness, goodwill, respect, tact, understanding and preservation of everything that represents the high achievements of the human spirit, creativity, talent. And every day is a dream about not littering, not shouting obscenities in my ear on the streets of my beloved city, not throwing mud at worthy people in the yellow press, not being jealous and not meddling in other people’s lives.
The beauty and harmony of architecture is a textbook of culture, and the understanding and acceptance of classical music is an indicator of spirituality and good taste; knowledge of world literature - spiritual and intellectual baggage; love for the paintings of masters - a craving for the beautiful and harmonious; love of ballet and dance - admiration for the spiritual beauty of the human body; good manners, politeness and courtesy are an indicator of the culture of the family in which a person grew up. And it seems to me that this word still has so many facets that millions of volumes are not enough to cover everything...
Thank you again for making a brave attempt to speak on such a complex and broad topic.
Have a good day everyone, we will definitely continue tomorrow!ATTENTION!
Dear readers and members of our women's club! If you want to ask a question or write a letter, be sure to indicate under what name and email address to publish your message to the WOMEN'S CLUB. If there are no wishes regarding changes (non-publication) of your name and email address in the letter, then your question, confession, letter, response will be published under the name and address that were originally indicated in your letter. If you send a response to the editor, be sure to indicate date, author's name and topic of publication ARCHIVE OF THE RUBRIC "YOUR LETTERS" FOR 2003 ARCHIVE OF THE RUBRIC "YOUR LETTERS" FOR 2002
I don't understand how I feel.
It's so hard and bad for me.
I always want to cry.
When I get up from the blood (in Lately everything gets worse) when I cook, when I clean. Even now when I write this I want to burst into tears.
I understand that there are people who are a hundred times worse off than me, but
I want to howl and scream how bad I feel. I want to tell someone how I feel. Which is disturbing. But who can I tell this to?
Lately, I have been increasingly haunted by the obsessive feeling that I am annoying people as soon as I start writing about my problems. Sometimes you want to cut off all contacts, lock yourself in a room and never leave and die in the same room from something.
It feels like no one understands. Even if I try to tell something, nothing will work, because:
1.As was written earlier, it seems that I am annoying people.
2. Even if I tell you, no one will understand (it seems) =>
The most horrible:
3. Words disappear. I’m trying to tell something about myself, something that’s hard for me to say and that’s all. My head is empty. I can't say anything at all.
It's getting more and more difficult to go somewhere.
For example, in the evening I can happily discuss with my friend that tomorrow we will go shopping, but the next morning I can’t do anything. I usually try not to cancel all plans, but sometimes I just can’t.
My memory has deteriorated. I forget what I’m asked to do.
And I really want to die.
I'm only 15, maybe this is some kind of difficult transition?
Support the site:
Alisonn, age: 15/07/22/2018
Responses:
Hello. Yes, dear, this is a difficult, transitional age, you can read articles on this topic on the Internet. But the main thing is that all this will pass, in the future you yourself will wonder why certain things were so annoying and upsetting. Take your vitamins, they will give you strength. Ask your mom to make an appointment with a psychologist. Cheer up! Find yourself more hobbies, hobbies, or a part-time job for the summer. Good luck!
Irina, age: 30 / 07/23/2018
Hello Alisson! Why do you think that you are annoying people? Do you have a bad relationship with your mother? This is the most close person- you can talk about painful issues with her. In general - you can tell the essence of the problems in writing - we will help you in some way, we will listen. It’s also great to keep a diary! And write everything that worries you there, express it on paper, so to speak. Believe me, when you read these problems, you will look at them from a different angle. Read more, then your speech will flow like a trickle. As for memory, you can go to the hospital, you can take some vitamins, don’t be afraid of your condition, it’s only temporary and will definitely pass! Honey, you can go to church, talk to the priest - in the sacrament of Confession, tell God about everything - He will always listen and understand, and, most importantly, help.
Hug you!
Lu, age: 22 / 23.07.2018
Hello dear Alisonn!
From your letter it seems that you are a creative person with a rich, inner world. This means that this world can contain an abyss of different experiences, doubts, negative emotions, in which you can drown... To make your life more stable, you need to learn to manage your thoughts - after all negative thoughts destroy you from the inside. Write how often do you think about negative things?.. Bad thoughts bind you, deprive you of hope and immobilize you. Moreover, they negatively affect your psycho-emotional state, provide constant stress. This stress deteriorates not only the mood, but also the memory and the ability to verbally express one’s thoughts, and it becomes impossible to concentrate. After all, when there is confusion in the head and irritation in the soul, then what kind of balance can we talk about?..
But dear, this situation is fixable: just take control of your thoughts. Stop allowing negative thoughts into your mind - thoughts of sadness, anger, resentment and other things that negatively affect your well-being. At first it will be difficult - after all, you are used to thinking in a negative way, but over time, you will be able to give up bad thoughts, after which you will feel a surge of vigor, joy and opportunity. Feed yourself with positive thoughts - become an optimist! After all, optimism charges with vigor and internal energy which is necessary for life! Don’t turn into a constantly whining old lady, always dissatisfied with life... Change your usual thinking pattern. Then you will feel how your life will change, because thoughts influence feelings, feelings influence actions, and actions determine life!
Good luck! I guarantee you that if you follow this recommendation, your condition will improve.
Zhanna, age: 28 / 07/24/2018
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The most important
How to love yourself
Two reasons for self-dislike and overcoming them
Self-love helps improve relationships with others, and selfishness is the absence of such relationships. Self-love is what is called self-acceptance. The better a person feels about himself, the better he feels about others. The more he accepts himself, the easier it is for him to accept other people and focus on them.
Sometimes you really want to howl, but the walls get in the way. Just howl from despair, from the fact that the world is collapsing, turning to dust. The ashes from which you spent so long building something like a castle. Sand castle? Didn't you build it that way? So it does not matter. The only thing that matters is that again ruins are at your feet, fragments of hopes.
It’s not the walls that are in the way, of course. Pride, neighbors, principles. Yes, there are many things that prevent you from admitting your pain. The pain of loss, the pain of parting, the pain of defeat. And this pain is... all there is. She more peace, bigger than yourself. It's like a part of yourself is being ripped out of your soul. And this makes you want to howl so that this howl can be heard there, far away in the universe.
Hear the Universe, I feel bad, my soul is being torn apart. It hurts me! Why is that? Why?
I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it, maybe I’m not worthy? Maybe I missed the chance? Maybe I didn’t hear your whisper when you told me “stop, you’re doing the wrong thing, the wrong thing”? (Maybe I didn’t hear myself, or I heard myself, but I was afraid... of myself and I was afraid of myself, my happiest self).
And so, you bastard city bustle, no matter where you settle down with your pain, everywhere there will be those who will look at you. But it’s somehow shy to howl in public. I'm sorry I'm suffering. Pride, principles...
Pain in the sinus, tears into myself. And go ahead! To new castles. To new mistakes! I leave myself with an eternally aching wound. Screaming, asking for help, for sympathy. So bear them, these wounds, with pain, not a silent howl. All life?
Or maybe in a corner, curled up under a blanket, quietly, so that others don’t hear... howl, moan.
Moan, moan. The universe must hear, you must declare your pain. You need it for yourself, the Universe needs it. And let this cry appear through the night, through the blanket. The pain must become voiced, spoken. Otherwise she won't leave. And how can she leave if the doors are closed to her? She leaves with a voice and tears. Voice and tears.
A loss is a loss. You have to say it, moan, cry. Cry. And this pain, and this cry, they seem to be between those parts of the soul that have separated. And until they disappear into oblivion, these parts will not grow back together, they will not unite. They prevent them from getting together.
What about others? What about the others? It’s not their grief, it’s not for them to judge. It is not for them to collect the soul from torn parts. They can listen and hug. But it’s up to you to patch up your soul yourself. Slowly, with each sunrise, returning it, piece by piece, to the primordial one with which it was born. It turns out that you are being born again. But in a different way, with experience, with stitches in the soul. They will then be erased. They will become coarse and remain a memory. Memory of the soul.
And this soul needs not only to cry out about its pain. He screams in an instant. The cry is sharp and brief. And the emptiness between the parts of the soul does not go away quickly. She needs time. And I don’t want to scream anymore. But there are no words, I just want... maybe to sing a sad song. Blues. Song of sadness. No words at first, no words yet. Just a motive, as it is sung. The soul will tell you, and then it will tell you the words if it needs it. And a song will be born that will fill the void. Music - it helps, it is like the answer of the Universe, it lulls you to sleep.