Research Institute of Chemical Fertilizers and Poisons (“roof” of the Intergalactic Sociological Center for Progressive Research on Long-Term Orientation of Romanians, hybrid war and peace). A closed, that is, top secret report on the geopolitical consequences of the UK's exit from the European Union. The composition of the authors is classified, since many registration cards of leading specialists were lost during the fire on Lvovskaya garbage dump extremely solid waste. ...in connection with the epidemic of intestinal infection in Izmail, the early completion of the Ukrainian national team’s performances at Euro 2016, as well as the referendum on the UK’s exit from the EU (the so-called Brekhit) planned for June 23, stable, unambiguous and completely clear preconditions of indefinable force have emerged. As a result of the analysis of data obtained promptly from our agents in Somalia and Kyrgyzstan, a model was created to replace Britain with Ukraine to prevent further collapse of the European Union. Many of the intergalactic center’s interlocutors in the highest political and gay circles in Brussels expressed their firm belief that, firstly, the first vice-speaker of the Verkhovna Rada, Irina Gerashchenko, suffers from a mental disorder, and, secondly, London’s exit could lead to a domino effect. The essence of the effect is that in the process of “slaughtering the goat” (a special operation to neutralize the elite of Kyiv), the players get carried away and, being in a state of acute alcoholic intoxication, begin to drop domino bones. They fall and fall and fall and fall. It’s the same with EU members: they start to scatter like cockroaches when the refrigerator light is on. A threatening situation may arise that will call into question the complete, rapid and high-quality integration of Kyiv into European structures, European standards, Eurobonds and Euroshops. In fact, at the moment when the historical boundary separating the nation from Brussels is overcome, the actual subject of European integration may stupidly disappear. Ukrainian social scientists who trained at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN under the guise of Turkish handymen call this the “Schrödinger’s cat effect”: if you stupidly cut off a cat’s eggs, then he will absolutely not care whether he is in the black box or not. Because he won't be able to sit. Without a doubt, Kremlin, pro-Kremlin and even pro-Kremlin forces are doing their best to instigate Britain’s exit from the EU in order to undermine the world’s global security system. Specially trained squads of militants, disguised as football fans, are beating up English fans, pushing them to consider voting in a referendum on leaving the European structures. Everything is very clear: a myth is being artificially formed about the inability of European security forces to ensure the safety of English fans, who, as they write in official protocols, “poluchajut pizdi” from brutal barbarians. The eurozone crisis, however, provides Kyiv with a unique opportunity that must be urgently taken advantage of. First of all, through the powerful pro-Ukrainian lobby in the European Parliament (if we can reach an agreement with our Polish agent), we should promote the idea of fully replacing London with Kiev. This will stop the irreversible disintegration processes in the EU and save the eggs of the aforementioned Schrödinger’s cat. Since the total number of European members will remain the same after Kyiv joins instead of London, no one will even pay attention to Brexit. Our scientists simulated the collapse of the eurozone using two bars of soap, fresh cannabis and a glass of ordinary urine. So, everything worked out. Kyiv is a natural historical substitute for London in the long and short term, since our nation is one of the most “efficient” (the meaning of this concept, unfortunately, has been lost) and “drinking”. The last factor significantly strengthens the introduction of a quota for the performance of songs by Ukrainian performers on all FM stations in the country. Again, empirically (two pieces of strawberry soap and further on the list) it has been proven: after listening to the mandatory quota, the European integration aspirations of males increase on average by two to two and a half times. And without taking into account the effect of Schrödinger's cat. The admission of Ukraine to the EU instead of Great Britain will significantly strengthen the defensive potential of the Europeans, since the Ukrainian army has extensive experience in conducting hybrid warfare and is currently successfully containing Putin’s aggression in the Minsk format. In terms of combat readiness, the Kyiv fleet is an order of magnitude superior to the vaunted British Navy, which is unable to repel new challenges like: “hey, fuck, come here!” Now the economic factor. Everything is generally good here. Nuts, honey and a lot of start-ups, of course, make Ukraine an innovative leader throughout the European space. The successful holding of the gay pride parade in Kyiv, Jamala’s victory at Eurovision and the return of Nadezhda Savchenko to PACE allows our nation to claim the role of the locomotive of a new, even more successful Europe. When Eurosceptics say that the EU project is hopelessly outdated, we have something to answer and something to offer, not counting the genitals of Schrödinger's cat. And yes: law enforcement officers came to Oleg Lyashko’s house by mistake, since all transgender people are very similar. Perhaps there is a provocation by Putin with the aim of disrupting Ukrainenter on the eve of Brexit. Alexander Zubchenko.
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Wheat & Barley I buy from farms. I have my own transport for road transport. We sell ammophos, diammophos fertilizers Southern Federal District of the Russian Federation +7909-439-1375 Organization [email protected] Agricultural crops Buy (demand)
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**CONTINUATION**
V.I. Lenin bequeathed to us to study, study and study.
Do you want to get a diploma? ASSHOLE- go to Moscow University Long-Range Aviation and Cosmonautics. You do not want? Then go... to HUI(!) Khabarovsk School of Arts. The art school is no big deal to you! Especially Khabarovsk, there is a competition there.
Kindergarten in the USSR was reduced to kindergarten, but now it’s MUDO- Municipal Institution Preschool Education- everything is according to Bologna (or Mudzvon?) standards.
And it's completely obscene - FUCK- United Bashkir Airlines - just think about it: I flew FUCK, landed softly.
Leningrad Hippodrome GlavKonUpra NKZ USSR- just came across it on the Internet.
OKEY- All-Russian classifier of units of measurement - correct, everything needs to be measured and classified so that everything is OK.
FUCKING- Research Institute of Chemical Fertilizers and Pesticides - that’s exactly what they WANTED to call it, but they didn’t. Because I'm a former chemist, I've heard about this many times FUCKING. One guy even boasted:
- Yes, I tore the sign off him!
When asked to show the sign, he hesitated:
- Yes, it broke when I moved to a new apartment.
- Well, show me at least a fragment of this...DICK.
- Well... uh, mmm...
In general, there was no such institution. They called it NIUIF - Research Institute for Fertilizers and Insectofungicides, it also has a website http://www.niuif.ru
In Moscow, they even managed to name two streets after abbreviations! This is the street Mosvokstroya(no, you read carefully! - not MosKVOStroy, but MosVOKStroy) and Mosneftekip. Well, with the first everything is clear - MosVodoKanalStroy street, and with the second it is even simpler: the Moscow Plant of Control and Measuring Instruments (I&I) for oil refining.
- Where do you live?
- At Mosneftekip.
- Ah... Well, I’m on Moscow..vac..qua..quo. Damn, I remember where I live, I forgot how to pronounce THIS!
And now a masterpiece of bureaucratic insanity - the longest abbreviation in the Russian(?) language:
NIIOMTPLABOPARMBETZHELBETRABSBORMONIMONKONOTDTECHSTROMONT(55 letters).
Stands for: “Research Laboratory of Operations for Concrete Reinforcement and Reinforced Concrete Works for the Construction of Prefabricated Monolithic and Monolithic Structures of the Technology Department of the Construction and Installation Management of the Academy of Construction and Architecture of the USSR (Source http://ru.wikipedia.org)
If you have insomnia, don't count camels, and don't eat feng shui, but repeat, repeat, repeat... until you fall asleep.
An acronym helps with stuttering Charitable Foundation FSUE GNP RKTs TsSKB Progress FKA, which means the Baikonur branch of the Federal State Unitary Enterprise of the State Research and Production Rocket and Space Center "Central Assembly and Design Bureau Progress" of the Federal Space Agency.
What, your jaw was dislocated? And I warned you!
GLAVENERGOSTROYMEKHANIZATION- that was the name of the organization where my mother worked. This office dealt with some kind of standards. I didn’t delve into what this is, because... I was a boy then. But the mother still had a pass with this word.
When I was in my first year, we had the OPA - Socio-Political Certification. But of course, all Soviet students must be politically literate and morally stable, so as not to hug their class enemy with drunken eyes.
There was even a journal of socio-political certification, abbreviated ASS.
There was also a Zhytomyr Regional Party Archive, but the organization never used an abbreviation.
It would seem that the time of Soviet bureaucracy has passed, but no, here it was born NORILSKPISCHEPROM
Quote: It should be noted that the “NORILSKPISCHEPROM” brand itself, owned by Norilsk Meat Processing Plant LLC, and its elements identities, developed by experts PR2B Group. Authorship design concepts and all key images belong to art directors PR2B Group Stanislav Gern and Zhanna Zhuravel.
-Hi dude, could you speak Russian?
And since we switched to English, how can we not remember about EBITDA
http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/EBITDA
I heard a guy on Radio Business-FM proudly say:
- We have a positive balance of earnings.
If it had been negative, he would have given his employees a hard time!
However, about work there is - read and know a sense of proportion.
I decided to enter the Kharkov University of Transport Engineers
- Why?
- Cool!
- You know, there is no such university in Kharkov, it’s in Dnepropetrovsk
- In Dnepropetrovsk? Then it doesn’t work, the abbreviation is no longer the same!
I found out what the University where I work is now called. Remember - no
smog. Try it yourself: "Federal state budget
educational institution higher education"St. Petersburg
State University""...
On the topic of university abbreviations and abbreviations. In a glorious city
Rostov-on-Don in its western part has a scientific research center
Institute of Brain Biology. Abbreviated as Scientific Research Institute of Bi Brain. Many years have passed since then
It may have already been renamed, but my wife and I still fight when we fight
We say “institute” to each other. What does "don't do brain-don't fuck" mean?
brain."
And, by the way, some of you think that you know the meaning of the word MUDO.
So, MUDO is a municipal institution of additional
education. Like a house of creativity, we called it the Palace of Pioneers.
Don't believe me? Type in a search engine.
The story about GUZNO was also inspired by...
I studied in the glorious 90s in the capital of Buryatia, Ulan-Ude. So that's when
the fashion of renaming institutes into universities and vocational schools into colleges has begun, hot
heads from the Ministry of Education came up with the idea of merging 3 universities in the city
(BGPI - Pedagogical Institute, BSHI - Agricultural Institute, VSGIK - Institute of Culture) into one
super university. They even came up with a name - United Buryat People's
University... For some reason the idea didn't go through...
By the way, the students easily changed the abbreviations
BSHI burns - Buryat Most H.. Institute)))
University. Year 1987.
aircraft and took them out.
University. Year 1987.
Our calculus teacher gives the first lesson on complex numbers,
accompanying all this with instructive speeches on the topic that
Tsiolkovsky - THE FATHER OF RUSSIAN AVIATION using these numbers all the parameters for
aircraft and took them out.
One of the brats (1st year, who didn’t show off back then?) raises his hand
and nimblely asks: “Who was the MOTHER?” (well, in the sense of Russian aviation)
The teacher stops, looks harshly at the questioner and exhales: “Ah
This is what we will find out in the exam!”
An interesting fact, but working at the Research Institute of Chemical Fertilizers and Pesticides, three questions:
1. Where do you work?
2. What are you doing there?
and 3. How much do you earn?
I can answer with the abbreviation of my institute...
Who else will remember?
FUCK - Scientifically Research institute Chemical Fertilizers and Poisons.
HUI - Khabarovsk School of Arts
ASS - Zhytomyr Regional Pedagogical Academy
BITCHES them. Tchaikovsky - Simferopol University of Culture and Art. Tchaikovsky
HUYAK - Kharkov University of Nuclear Cybernetics
FUCK the Unified Belarusian University of Transport.
ASSHOLE Moscow University of Long-Range Aviation and Cosmonautics.
SASI Samara Architectural and Construction Institute
MUDO Municipal institution additional education
KHUIR Art School named after Roerich
YAGOMO TEENAGER - Yakut city association of youth organizations "Teenager"
to that:
on this:
crash: Hmm, a friend of mine entered MUDLO...
SnOoPy: Where? O_o
crash: Moscow University of Wood and Forest Processing.
____________________________________
that's bullshit) we have KHYAK in Kharkov - Kharkov University of Nuclear Cybernetics.
Z.Y. who doesn't believe - google to the rescue ;)
If anyone doesn’t know, then there were (and maybe there are) such universities - Kharkov
University of Transport Engineers and Belarusian State
University of Transport (Belarus - Kharkau University of Engineering)
transportu i Belarusian dzyarzhauny universitet transportu).
And these universities were sister universities, well, in the manner of cities.
A Belarusian university once received guests from Kharkov, so they wrote
colorful banner with abbreviations in the Belarusian language for their
I'll arrive.
It looked great: “BDUTH i HUIT - brazstya forever!”
: O)
A friend just told me
He came to the hospital. Contact the registry. Grandma of God is sitting
dandelion - you need to fill out the card.
One of the questions is the place of work.
Friend: Kyrgyz Research Institute of Irrigation.
I went to the doctor.
The next day, a young girl sits at the register.
He picks up my friend’s card and it falls out, he’s confused.
Place of work: Kyrgyz Research Institute of ERECTION.