Man is an extremely complex creature, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all - to a greater or lesser degree - subject to emotion. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, "hanging in the clouds" and "rose-colored glasses", mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would have long ago turned into a robotic, soulless creature.
Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs
What emotions do we experience more often throughout life - positive or negative? It is rather difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe the treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobbing, so that's why she's a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, from sadness and even from joy? Not at all - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from the long-awaited meeting with your loved one or if something made you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions carry with them only positive, purifying and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it is really hard and some unpleasant events press on the heart like a stone, disturb the consciousness, confuse? Psychologists say unequivocally: on the contrary, in such cases crying is not just necessary, but necessary! Why? Because, pouring out everything that has boiled, we thus get a psychological release, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative in ourselves, experience it in silence, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just as a spring is compressed under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neurosis, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situations, not cry? Then prepare in advance to become a patient of a psychotherapist!
When you should restrain yourself
We have considered situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When she acquires affective, i.e. unnecessary, exaggerated forms, the picture also begins to take on a clinical look. And here, indeed, it should be understood that in other cases it is better to restrain yourself and not cry than to dissolve yourself and nibble on every occasion. And the situation is not always conducive to an open expression of feelings. If you have been insulted, then showing tears in front of the offender means humiliating yourself even more, showing your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, giving your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need this? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.
Learn to rule
Yes, the first tip sounds like that. Develop restraint and self-control in yourself, the ability to control emotions, and show a strong-willed moment. Various auto-trainings will provide you with good support in this regard. The easiest and most accessible way to calm down and not cry is to take a deep breath several times and count to ... Someone up to 10, and some more. The main thing is that after such an exercise you relax a little, pull yourself together, and the feelings return to a more familiar channel and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations of force majeure. In general - a long and hard work on yourself!
Evidence by contradiction
How not to cry if you feel like it? Another good tool is the ability to look at the problem from a slightly different perspective, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - proof by contradiction. Has the husband gone to another? Yes, it hurts, hard, offensive, hopeless ... You can endlessly pick up epithets. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and "his" leaving - the prospects for new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned - another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But nobody cancels the financial and other assistance of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if "life was cut short." No! What makes us stronger - take this worldly wisdom into service, and it will teach you how not to cry in pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from external cruelty.
From a smile
Psychologists often recommend: when cats start scratching their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again ... Until, until you get a smile, joyful, sincere, from the bottom of my heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and that which tormented, ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting yourself! Tested in practice: this method is good not only for those who are thinking how to do it so as not to cry. He will help any person to cheer up, find cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!
Distraction
If you are wondering how to never cry, we have to upset you: it is impracticable. No wonder the poet said: "He who did not cry, he did not live." But you can reduce your worries to a minimum. How? Learn to switch and be distracted. If you feel that it is "rolling" and is about to overwhelm - try to distract yourself. Someone for this grabs a vacuum cleaner or washing powder, someone enthusiastically scribbles on a typewriter, trying to break the "soreness" with anticipation of a new outfit. Someone is saved by the kitchen and the original recipe, while others pull themselves out of the swamp by rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex ... All the means here are good, if only they give the necessary mental relaxation and serve effective lightning rod.
Going to scream
Yes, if you are choked with tears, it will be useful to "burst out" corny. In screaming, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical stress. Lock yourself in your room and shout whatever comes to your mind - furiously, without holding back, into your voice. You will literally feel better right away, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and far from about the weather ... But that's a somewhat different story.
Peace of mind is in our hands
Soulful, i.e. inner peace is a special state of harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life's problems from different angles.
And finally, the main thing is to cultivate positive thinking in yourself and live, rejoicing in every new day. After all, life is priceless - it is your life!
Tears are a natural reaction to trouble, grief, or stress, but most people choose not to show them to others. Restraining is difficult when resentment or anger rolls in. In this article, we have collected psychological techniques that will help you not to cry when you really want to. After reading our material, you will learn to control yourself!
How not to cry when you really want to - exercise
Psychologists advise focusing on breathing during moments of emotional arousal. You may have noticed that when you feel like crying from resentment, your breathing becomes disordered and accelerated, and in moments of severe stress or fright, you even cease to have enough air for a while. To calm yourself down, you need to calm your breathing. Feel like you're about to cry? Lift your chin and take a few deep breaths through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. This way you can get rid of the so-called lump in the throat. Try to count your breathing movements, imagine how the air fills your lungs. An unpleasant lump in your throat will help remove a couple of sips of water or cool tea. If there is no liquid nearby: Swallow several times. And don't forget about breathing.
If tears are already covering your eyes, blink them. It is not necessary to wipe your eyes revealingly, what good will you rub the makeup! Look down, then lift your eyes up, look right and left. Repeat this exercise several times until the tears are gone. Some psychologists advise closing your eyes for a few seconds.
You can also distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts by performing certain physical actions. You can, for example, bite your lip or clench your fist. But remember that you should not feel pain, only slight discomfort that can draw your attention to yourself. If there is a person nearby whom you trust, or someone who is aware of your psychological state, his palm can become your support.
Yawning, by the way, also helps to calm down! In addition, you will definitely not be able to cry and yawn at the same time! Exercise is very powerful and will benefit your nervous system!
How not to cry at the wrong time - psychological exercises
To avoid crying at the wrong time, think of something that will grab your full attention. How about solving a math problem in your head or repeating the multiplication table? Not only will you focus on it, but you will also make the left hemisphere of the brain work, which is responsible for computing operations. Emotions - controls the right; by stimulating the work of both hemispheres of the brain, you can effectively block the emotional flow. If math is not your strong point, remember the words of your favorite song, or even hum it to yourself. The melody should be fun and the lyrics should be positive.
The second psychological technique is more complicated, but more effective. You need to remember something funny. Of course, focusing on something positive when tears come to your eyes is not an easy task. Psychologists advise, in such a case, to come up with and remember in advance a list of jokes from films or funny situations from your life that you will recall in moments of emotional distress. Try to smile!
Motivate yourself not to cry! For example, "if I pay, the boss will think that I am weak" or "strangers will see that I cannot control myself." Tell yourself that you are strong and right now it is important to prove it!
The article will help you understand the main reasons for crying, understand it is harmful or useful to shed tears, and also - find your own method that will help you stop crying at the slightest provocation.
Crying is a natural human condition, but on condition that we shed tears only occasionally. But what if the crying period dragged on? How to stop crying during difficult periods of life?
There are ways! Everyone can apply them.
Is crying good or bad?
Yes, crying is natural, but is it good? Let's try to figure out why we cry and whether there are benefits to lingering tears.
1. Why do we usually cry?
I think no one will be surprised to learn that women cry five times more than men. And this is not a stone in the garden of the ladies, but scientific statistics.
Of course, the fair sex is different. Among them there are real crybabies who cry - how to make up your lips before leaving the house, that is, it is a standard procedure. There are ladies who are crying really about a serious matter.
The most common causes of crying are:
- Sad event in life, for example, illness or death of a loved one.
When our health deteriorates, we become sensitive and vulnerable and are able to cry for no reason.
Or tiredness.
Sadness catalysts.
For example, you watched a sad movie, but the same "Schindler's List" or "Green Mile". Or they saw a wounded dog on the street. Or read an article about a victim of domestic violence. Such an event can make not only an emotional person feel deeply, but also someone who considers himself strong.
Yes, happy events often make us cry - which is why we cry so often at weddings or at the birth of a child. This type of tears is beautiful and unambiguously beneficial.
Important! Crying can be a serious symptom of a mental disorder such as depression or increased anxiety. This is why it is so important to find the cause of the tears. If you are crying and can't stop because of such nonsense as an arrow on your pantyhose or a broken cup, this is a good reason to see a therapist. Your mental state is not all right.
2. Advantages and Disadvantages of Crying
In childhood, too whiny children were teased "roar, cow, give milk." And some were teased to such an extent that they are generally afraid to let even a tear drop.
But crying is sometimes very helpful. Naturally, provided that tears flow from you in moderate doses.
| The benefits of crying | Disadvantages of crying |
|---|---|
| You get rid of negativity, pain, stress | Physical condition may worsen, such as headaches |
| Crying is one of the ways (and not the worst) to calm down, because you stabilize your emotional state. | You lose your visual appeal, getting a reddened nose and eyes, a puffy face. And it takes time to bounce back |
| Improves brain function | Once you start crying, it can be hard to stop |
| Reduces blood pressure, which is especially important for hypertensive patients | The reputation is deteriorating - crybies are usually not liked and avoided, as they are unpredictable and can cry from any little thing |
| This is a great way to get attention and get what you want. | Endless crying is possible |
But how much does one need to cry for it to be useful and not harmful to health? Alas, pundits have no answer to this question.
None of the researchers described the rates of tears shed over a week or month. You will have to focus on your own feelings.
If you feel tired of crying, it's time to look for ways to stop crying.
How to stop crying so often?
You can moderate your tearfulness with simple and effective methods that even a child can cope with.
a) An instructive story of how Nastya managed to stop crying
Nastya was a crybaby from an early age. At first, she sobbed, like all babies, meaninglessly. Then I realized that tears are a great way to get what you want from your parents, teachers, guys.
So gradually the habit of crying at the slightest provocation was formed, and Nastya acquired a reputation as a mentally unbalanced woman, from whom everyone shied away - acquaintances, colleagues, relatives. Well, really, who wants to deal with a time bomb that can burst into tears in public over nonsense?
The last straw was the pictures from the New Year's corporate party. All - joyful, beautiful, and only one Nastenka with a distorted face smears her makeup and whines, because she did not have time to try the volovy with caviar.
By the way, looking at photos while crying and after is a great motivation to stop crying:
Photo after:
See how repulsive the girl looks in the first photo with her open mouth and spread mascara, and what a calm smiling beauty is shown in the second. Who do you want to be like?
What helped Nastya? ... No, she herself tried to stop crying over trifles, but the habit was too deeply ingrained.
But six months of psychotherapy sessions helped great. Friends who had not seen the girl for a long time simply did not recognize in this confident smiling beauty the roaring cow that they remembered.
b) 10 effective ways to stop crying
Of course, no one forces you to immediately run to a psychologist. There are many methods that will help you cope with tearfulness on your own, if your situation is not as bad as Nastya's.You can start getting rid of tearfulness using the following methods:
№ | Way | Description |
|---|---|---|
1. | Flapping eyelashes | As soon as you feel that tears are coming, start blinking often, often. The frequency of movement will make the protruding tears evenly distribute over the eye, and new ones do not shed. |
2. | Pinch your nose | |
3. | Deep breathing | The tear ducts run at the base of the nose (see picture below the plaque). It is enough to squeeze them so that the tears do not pour out in a stream. |
4. | Washing with cold water | Close your eyes and do breathing exercises: take ten deep, measured breaths. If it does not help, repeat the exercise. |
5. | Laughter | Of course, this method cannot be applied if you are in a crowded place with makeup applied to your face. But if you are at home, just wash yourself with cold water. You will feel better immediately. |
6. | Confessing to paper | The reason for your frequent tears - resentment? Take a piece of paper, a pen and describe everything that hurts you. Now read it. Say, “I let go of my grievances,” and burn the leaf. |
7. | Do your exercises | The simplest exercise will improve blood circulation and reduce the flow of tears. You can just turn on the groovy music and dance. If you are among people and it is inconvenient to do exercises, just twist your neck in different directions and massage your fingers. |
8. | Remember something funny | It is better to have at the ready a funny incident from life or an anecdote that you can get from your memory closet to stop crying. When it stops working, find a new case to amuse you. |
9. | I will think about it tomorrow | If you have something bad that makes you cry, don't dwell on it. Forbid yourself to think about the tragedy today. Distract yourself with work, worries. Tomorrow will be a new day, and you will be able to look at the situation in a different way. |
10. | Look for the positive | Did a guy dump you? Great, it means you are open to new relationships that will definitely be better than the previous ones. After a protracted illness, a loved one died? Good, because he doesn't suffer anymore. Got fired? It's great how many new perspectives are opening up. |
And psychologists also advise not to perceive tearfulness as a highlight of your character. This is a vice that needs to be eliminated. Here's a video for a good setup for crybaby:
c) Can you stop crying if you find the reason for your tears?
It is imperative that you find the true reason for crying so that you can stop crying all the time.
- Feel lonely - get a pet, hang out with friends, go on dates.
- Bad job, low salary and tyrant boss - look for a new job, fortunately, the labor market is overflowing with offers.
- There is no happiness in your personal life - try to revive your relationship, bring bright colors to them. Does not work? Find another partner.
- A sad event in life, for example, the death of a loved one - give yourself time, it really heals. In the meantime, distract yourself with all sorts of things. Do not want? Force yourself!
- A lot of minor problems and fatigue have accumulated - hang out with friends, sleep off, talk to a close friend, go for a weekend to a spa hotel for treatments, etc.
There is no reason, but you still want to roar all the time? Believe me, there is a reason that makes you cry. You just can't find it on your own. This means that we need the help of a specialist. Why be afraid of doctors when you need to look for help from them?
As you can see, there are many ways to stop crying. Just find the one that works for you. Yes, it may take time, but the results will be worth the effort. Believe me, looking at the world without a veil of tears covering your eyes is much more pleasant.
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It will not hurt any of the spectators to cry over a play or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?
Anything can make me cry: from a dramatic plot in a movie to a homeless kitten in a neighboring alley. And when there is also a real reason (for example, from resentment or jealousy), I generally cannot calm down for a long time. Sometimes tears turn into hysterics, I start yelling and stop managing my condition altogether. How to stop crying and constantly screw yourself up?
On the reasons for tearfulness: you can cry in different ways
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that among us there are 5% of people endowed with special sensuality and emotionality. These are the owners for whom the eyes are a particularly sensitive area. It is these people who have "increased tearfulness." But you can cry in different ways: with a beneficial or destructive effect on the psyche.
How to stop crying for any reason
By nature, tears are constantly close to all owners of the visual vector. Such people have a huge emotional range, they can subtly feel the states of other people.
Due to such sensuality, a tragic love story and empathy for the patient can really provoke tears in them. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if this story is real or unfolds on the stage - the viewer still reacts emotionally and sensually.
To stop crying completely for the viewer is the same as to stop breathing. His receptive area (eyes) actually needs such periodic stimulation. The most important thing in this matter is the reason for the tears.
When is it good to cry
There is nothing wrong with crying to a sensual song or a soulful performance. But by nature, the bearer of the visual vector is given a special emotional sensitivity in order to realize it in empathy and compassion for other people. Those who have suffered a real misfortune, who have had a real grief.
We can see developed and realized owners of the visual vector among volunteers, working with seriously ill or disabled people. They help orphanages or are busy with the delivery of humanitarian supplies to countries where there is a war. They are always exactly where their compassion and active help to the weak strata of the population are most in demand.
The spectator may well cry from empathy with his neighbor. But these tears are beneficial, and it is not difficult for a person to calm down in such a situation - he will quickly stop crying, switching to real help. Unfortunately, in conditions when the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently implemented, the situation is different.
When tears are destructive
With a lack of realization, the entire huge emotional range of the viewer is closed on himself, in his experiences. This gives rise to constant tantrums and emotional buildup, makes a person break into tantrums and yell at loved ones. In this state, he sometimes cannot calm down and only winds himself up again and again.
Depending on the additional presence of other vectors, torment over a guy or a girl may serve as an excuse. A person can sob from jealousy, panic, or maybe from resentment towards loved ones and fate. The reason in all these cases is the same - the emotional range of the viewer is too large to be directed at himself and his troubles.
How to stop crying on a case-by-case basis
So, it will not hurt any of the spectators to cry over a play or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives the following recommendation to all carriers of the visual vector: to sensually focus on the experiences of another person. Not everyone will work with seriously ill patients, but there are plenty of people around who yearn for your empathy. It can be a lonely neighbor, a suffering friend, etc. Bringing emotions out helps the viewer to remove internal emotional swings and tantrums.
What to do to stop crying from resentment
The feeling of resentment is familiar only to the owners. It doesn't matter if you have resentment because of your beloved boyfriend, or you had a chance to cry out of resentment at the villainess-destiny in general. The main thing is that your natural inner balance is disturbed: the desire for everything to be fair, equally. You tried so hard for people, and in return they did not give you love, attention, respect. There is no way to calm down.
The opposite of resentment is gratitude. Try to focus on those events, people and their actions for which you can truly be grateful to fate. Surely there will be not so few of them.
But insult is a reason to think about how the properties of the anal vector are generally implemented in your case? This is perseverance, attention to detail, an analytical mindset, the need for purity and striving for family, home comfort, the birth of children.
What to do to stop crying with jealousy
The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-vector psychology»In a gloomy situation, when you feel bad and life seems too unfair, sometimes it becomes very difficult to hold back the tears. Crying is one of the most natural ways to express grief and pain. However, remember that while it is good to cry and release your feelings, it should not be continuous. This is because it can negatively affect your body and health. If you are in a situation where you do not know how to stop yourself from crying, distract your mind with something else, especially when you are around people or at work. Crying is one of the main ways of being aware of pain or emotion, and therefore, there is no need to be ashamed, but relentless crying can negatively affect you. Below are some tips to help you stop yourself from crying. How to stop crying and calm down?
- Create a calming atmosphere around you. Lie on the bed. Turn off the lights and turn on a soothing, soft night light.
- Play some nice music to distract your mind. Soft instrumental or light songs will make you feel better. Avoid sad songs or music. They can make you cry even harder. The music has to have a good factor.
- Take gradual deep breathing, fully expanding your diaphragm. You may experience mild pain if you cry for an extended period. The purpose of this is to make you feel completely relaxed. Exhale slowly and surely, even if it's flimsy. Repeat the process.
- After you restore normal breathing, focus on the tension in other parts of your body. Make an effort to relax the tense parts of your body.
- Understand that life is all about ups and downs. Crying isn't bad, but too much of it can actually harm your body, so it's important to try to get some rest.
- Console yourself by explaining that this is just a phase and that everything will be fine in the end.
- Talking to a family member or close friend can also make you feel better if you are willing to discuss your problem.
- If crying makes you feel better, cry once and for all. Of course, this does not apply to all people or situations, especially those who have gone through a divorce or the loss of a family member or friend. But, for some others, say, losing your job or missing your parents who are far away from you.
- If people are around you, pinch yourself hard. This can put an end to your crying immediately by activating the part of your brain that controls impulses.
- If you are engaging in an emotional discussion with a group of people that might trigger a flash of crying, try smiling and find an excuse to get out of the discussion. Walk away from the discussion area and take a deep breath. If you really need to cry and release your negative emotions in a secluded place. But make sure you are in a better mood when you return.
- Crying while watching overly emotional films is another frustrating moment for many, especially women. Well, it's hard to avoid tears, but possible. When you feel that you are about to cry, distract yourself by eating chocolate or drinking lemonade until you calm down. In case you don't have anything to calm yourself down, drink water!
- If you have pets, try to play with them when you feel like crying. Pets, especially dogs, are great help when you feel bad. They are therapeutic and very helpful in times of emotional stress. Take your pet for a walk or play with it. Pets love to be loved, so spending more time with them than usual will not only make them feel good, but also make you feel so much better.
Crying is a natural way to deal with emotional problems. There are times when it makes you feel uncomfortable, especially when you are with other people. However, constant suppression of emotions is not always helpful. It is good to cry from time to time to let go. You can cry to release the pain that makes you sad.