5 types of emotional vampires and how to protect yourself from them. Stay away from these people! It's time to say goodbye to them! Relationships with other people suck the most energy out of a person. Some relationships can be positive and uplifting, while others can be downright draining.
It’s as if people are sucking the optimism and peace out of you. They are called emotional or energy vampires. They don't just drain your energy.The most malicious of them can make you believe that you are a worthless person who no one loves. The less negative ones simply leave little splinters in your head that lower your self-esteem. An example would be the following phrases: “Honey, I see you’ve gained a little weight” or “You take everything too personally.”
To protect your energy and energy, you need to protect yourself from such individuals. But first, let’s figure out how you can understand that this is an energy vampire in front of you. Signs that you are a vampire:
- your eyelids become heavy, you want to take a nap;
- mood drops sharply;
- I want to eat carbohydrates or just eat something tasty;
- you start to worry, feel depressed or negative;
- you feel humiliated.
Now let's look at what types of vampires there are and how to deal with them.
1. Narcissus
Their motto is: “I am first.” Everything is just for them, for them and about them. These people have a grandiose sense of self-importance; they believe that everyone is owed to them. They constantly capture the attention of others and demand admiration for themselves. These people are dangerous because they lack a sense of compassion and are practically incapable of selfless love. If you do something not according to their script, they become rude, distant and cold.
How to protect yourself from a Narcissist: Your expectations should always match reality. These people are emotionally limited. Try not to fall in love with them, don't expect selflessness or unconditional love from them. Never become dependent on them, never open up to them to the depths of your soul. To successfully interact with Narcissists, you will have to show them how they will benefit from communicating with you. It's best not to communicate with them at all. However, if it is necessary or unavoidable, this is the approach that will work.
2. Victim
These vampires are annoying with their "poor me" attitude. The world is always against them and this makes them unhappy. When you offer them a solution to a problem, you always hear: “Yes, but...” Eventually, you start not answering calls from these eternally unhappy people or avoiding them altogether. As a friend, you would like to help, but this constant nagging has simply overwhelmed your patience.
How to protect yourself from the Victim: Set soft but clear boundaries. Listen briefly and tell a relative or friend: “I love you, but I can’t listen for long. Unless you want to discuss a solution to the problem.” You can sympathize with a colleague with the words: “I hope everything will be fine.” Then say: “I hope you understand - I have a lot of work, and deadlines are running out.” And then use “now is the wrong time” body language: cross your arms and break eye contact to establish those very boundaries.
3. Inspector
These people obsessively try to control you and dictate how you should be and feel. They have an opinion on everything. They control you, rejecting your emotions if they don't fit into their plan. They often construct sentences with the words: “Do you know what you need?” And then they teach what and how. As a result, you feel depressed and humiliated.
How to protect yourself from the Auditor: The secret to success is to never try to control the Auditor. Be assertive within reason, but don't tell them what to do. You can say, “I appreciate your advice, but I need to deal with this on my own.” Be confident, but don't play the victim.
4. Announcer
These people don't care about your feelings. They think only about themselves. You are constantly waiting for the moment when you can get a word in, but it never comes. These people can get so physically close that you can literally feel their breath on you. You take a step back, they take a step forward.
How to protect yourself from the Announcer: These people do not respond to non-verbal cues. You will have to say everything out loud, interrupting their endless series of rhetoric, even if it will be almost impossible to do this. Listen for a few minutes. Then politely say, “It’s awkward to interrupt, but I need to talk to the other person. Please excuse me.” Talking to another person, going to a pre-arranged meeting, going to the toilet - there may be different reasons.
Such a way out of the situation is much more constructive than this: “Shut up already, you’ll drive me crazy!” If you have a relative in front of you, politely say: “I really want you to give me a couple of minutes to talk. I also have something to say.” If you say it in a neutral tone, you'll have a better chance of being heard.
5. Drama Queen
Such people tend to exaggerate: they turn minor incidents into stunning events. For example, you have a colleague who is constantly late. The reason could be a cold from which he “almost died” or a car that was taken to a parking lot for the hundred and fifth time. After communicating with such people, you feel mentally and physically exhausted, plus you can’t shake the feeling that you were used.
How to Protect yourself from a Drama King or Queen: Such people do not understand the advantage of keeping a cool head. Keep calm. Take a few deep breaths. This way you can prevent yourself from being drawn into a theatrical performance. Set clear boundaries in a gentle way. If you are the boss of this late person, say: “You need to be on time to keep your job. I sympathize with all your troubles, but work is still more important.”
Here are 5 types of people who can negatively impact your energy. To ensure that your relationships with others are pleasant and your energy is in full swing, try to maintain a balance in your life of positive people who charge you with this energy and vampires. Strive to spend time with those who love you and limit your interactions with vampires. This way you can significantly improve your quality of life.
Vampires? The answer to this question is another hint of happiness without a reason. We are all susceptible to the emotions that other people radiate to us. Today is about how to protect yourself from emotional vampires and maintain a feeling of happiness.
Emotions, relationships and your energy.
Until you are firmly established in a state of emotions that corresponds, your happiness will be subject to the emotional influence of the people around you.
If you surround yourself with relationships that support you, your...
If there are many people in your life who poison your life, your energy shrinks.
Signs of energy compression in relationships:
Signs of expanding energy in a relationship:
How to protect yourself from the negative effects of emotional vampires.
To feel happy, we need to make choices in the right environment because we are influenced by people's moods.
Can you create your own environment?
It is usually clear which people have a destructive effect on others: they complain or express dissatisfaction, criticize or put pressure on us energetically.
Such people are usually called energy or emotional vampires.
They may even have good intentions, but after communicating with them we feel empty and experience a loss of energy.
How do vampires affect us?
You shouldn’t look for the enemy outside (this narrows the energy) and think that it’s all about them.
It's all about "mirror neurons" that make us copy other people's behavior and imitate their emotions.
That is, when we communicate, for example, with an angry person, we unconsciously copy his posture, his gestures, his facial expressions and we ourselves begin to get irritated. We are losing energy on our own!
How to stop losing energy when dealing with vampires?
1. Create emotional boundaries. We ourselves teach people how to treat us, showing what we accept favorably and what we do not accept in them.
2. Stop the chain reaction. Now that you know about mirror neurons, let them work to your advantage. Use their power consciously. If you now need to talk to an angry or unfriendly person, consciously soften your gaze, smile inwardly, maintain a neutral facial expression, using gestures and facial expressions that are opposite to the vampire. Do not reflect or copy the person's tension, otherwise your body will work against you, imitating his negative traits.
3. Put up an invisible barrier. Of course, the best thing to do is simply free yourself from relationships with emotional vampires. However, this is not always possible. What to do? When you are under the next attack of destructive emotions, surround yourself with a cloud white light, put up an invisible shield or barrier in your imagination - this will give you a feeling of emotional protection and prevent your desire to respond in the same manner. In other words, disconnect emotionally from the vampire and focus on building an energetic wall around yourself.
4. Stay on your side of the street: don't try to change the other person. It is very tempting to think that you can help other people who appear or appear to be you. Do not try to save or help with advice, or point out mistakes - this will not help. It is better to pay attention to the fact that each person is capable of solving most problems himself. The best way to influence others is to behave the way you would like others to behave.
5. Surround yourself with emotional donors. Build and start new relationships on the principles of mutual exchange of energies, support and resources. Give while receiving.
Write in the comments, what advice from the article do you take into account? Give examples of your own protection from emotional vampires.
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Famous psychologist, Dr. Albert Bernstein.
How to behave with people who feed on your energy.
They may be hiding in your office, home, or behind your computer screen. They are easy to spot among family members, friends and colleagues. They might even share a bed with you. Bright, talented and charismatic, they win your trust and love, and then deprive you of your emotional energy.
Renowned psychologist, Dr. Albert Bernstein reveals the secrets of how to protect yourself from these creatures.
Classifying their personality types, he explains how to recognize a vampire and offers a number of strategies that are guaranteed to help you communicate with them without any loss.
Emotional vampires - who are they?
Vampires are lurking around you even now as you read these lines. On wide streets flooded with daylight; in offices with fluorescent lighting and even at home, under the warm glow of lamps, emotional vampires surround you everywhere, masquerading as ordinary people until their inner needs turn them into beasts of prey.
But they feed not on your blood, but on your emotional energy.
Please note: we are not talking about everyday troubles that swarm around you like insects around a lantern and which are easy to get rid of with affirmations and positive statements. We are talking about real creatures of darkness that can not only harass you, but also hypnotize you, clouding your mind with false promises until you fall under their spell. Emotional Vampires lure you into their networks and feed on your energy.
At first, emotional vampires make an even more pleasant impression than ordinary people. They are attractive, talented and charming, like the Romanian Count Dracula. You feel sympathy for them; you trust them; you expect more from them than from other people - and ultimately you fall into their captivity. You let them into your life and don't realize what a mistake you've made until they disappear into the night, draining you of all your blood and leaving you with a sore neck, an empty wallet, or a broken heart. And even in this case, you ask yourself the question, who is the reason - them or you?
It's all about them - emotional vampires.
Are you familiar with them? Have you ever experienced them? dark force in your own life?
Have you ever met people who seem wonderful to you at first, but then turn your life into chaos?
Have you ever had all your energy sucked out of you?
Emotional vampires live next to you. These are your neighbors who behave warmly and cordially with you, but spread gossip behind your back. There are emotional vampires on your football team too - they play just fine until the referee's whistle stops them, but then they throw a tantrum like little children.
Emotional vampires can lurk even in your family. Think, for example, about your cousin - talented person, who can’t hold down any job. What about the completely unnoticed aunt who takes care of everyone until some strange, debilitating illness forces you to take care of her? Should we mention the loving but infuriating parents who always tell you that you can do things your way but expect you to do things their way?
The vampire may even share your bed - he behaves either like a loving life partner or like a cold, distant stranger.
Are they really vampires?
Although emotional vampires behave like creatures of darkness, there is nothing supernatural about them. This melodramatic metaphor amounts to nothing more than a case of clinical psychology dressed up in a Halloween costume. Emotional vampires are people with personality traits that psychologists call personality disorders.
During my graduate studies, I learned about the existence of this simple difference: when a person drives himself crazy, it means that he has neurosis or psychosis. When he drives other people crazy, he has a personality disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, developed and published by the American Psychiatric Association, defines a personality disorder as follows: A persistent pattern of internal experience and behavior characterized by a significant deviation from the norms accepted in the culture to which the individual belongs. This pattern finds its manifestation in two or more of the following areas:
1. Ways of perceiving and interpreting one’s own self, other people and events.
2. Degree, intensity, lability and adequacy of the emotional reaction.
3. Interpersonal functioning.
4. Impulse control.
This guide describes diagnostic patterns of thinking and behavior for eleven personality disorders, of which we will look at only five that can create many problems in your life. Everyday life: antisocial, histrionic, narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive and paranoid. I chose these five types of personality disorders because they are the most common and can manifest at a subclinical level. In everyday life, you are much more likely to meet people who have a mild narcissistic or histrionic personality disorder than you do with a mild borderline or schizoid personality disorder.
The main reason I chose these five types of personality disorders is that although these people have behavior that is pathological and debilitating, they also have traits that many people find very attractive. In more than forty years of work as a psychologist and business consultant, I have repeatedly seen that these five personality disorders invariably create many problems in the lives of most people - at home, at work and in all other areas of life.
Most of the emotional vampires discussed in my book do not have serious impairments that warrant an official diagnosis of a personality disorder. And yet they perceive the world differently from other people. Under the influence of the desire for infantile, unattainable goals, they formed distorted ideas about the world around them. They need complete and exclusive attention from others. They require absolute love, which only gives and never demands anything in return. They want to live a carefree, fun life and shift the worries of everything boring and difficult to someone else. Vampires look like adults on the outside, but at heart they are still children.
Emotional vampires don't wear capes and sink their fangs into people. Typically, the difficult people discussed in this book are no different from other people, either physically or psychologically. Infantile tendencies appear in emotional vampires only when something threatens them. The rest of the time they act like normal, responsible adults. At the same time, it should be noted that vampires tend to perceive as a threat that which does not cause any concern to ordinary people. Your own experience tells you that ordinary people should have no problem with crucifixes, garlic and holy water. Just as real vampires fear these traditional means of dealing with them, emotional vampires fear such common adult aspects of life as boredom, uncertainty, responsibility, and the need to give as well as receive.
The easiest way to classify emotional vampires is by the personality disorder that most closely matches their way of thinking and acting. Vampires of each type act under the influence of a specific infantile need that cannot be satisfied and to which the vampire attaches great importance. Vampires themselves, as a rule, are not aware that their behavior is determined by these infantile needs. This is another reason why you should be especially careful when dealing with such people.
Antisocial vampires experience a constant desire for emotional stimulation. They are called Antisocials not because they don't like parties, but because they disregard the rules of social behavior. In fact, these vampires love to party. In addition, they love sex, drugs, rock and roll - anything that has a stimulating effect on them. For them, boredom is much worse than an aspen stake in the heart. All they want from life is a pleasant pastime, idleness and immediate satisfaction of all their desires.
Of all the emotional vampires, Antisocials are the most interesting and funniest. People easily and quickly become attached to them and just as quickly fall into their networks. Apart from short-term fun, such vampires have nothing to give people in return. But how wonderful are these moments of communication with them! However, you will be greatly disappointed if you rely on the reliability of such people.
- What's wrong, honey? - asks the vampire Adam.
Alice's jaw involuntarily dropped.
- Adam, I can't believe you're asking me this. Do you think there's nothing wrong with kissing every woman in a row in my presence?
Adam puts his hand on Alice's shoulder, but she shrugs it off.
“Honey,” says Adam, “it was a party, I drank a little.” It was just a light kiss anyway.
- A light kiss that lasted five minutes?
- Honey, you know that kiss didn’t mean anything. You are the only woman I truly love. The only one. Come on baby, trust me.
Without the Anti-Socials there would be no country music. If you think only naive romantics fall for their charms, then you haven't seen how they behave in a job interview or give a sales presentation. The best way to defend against these types of vampires is to recognize them before they use their charm. When you see them approaching, close your heart and hide your wallet until you check their references. The actions that Antisocials have performed in the past are the best indicator of how they will behave in the future.
Histrionic vampires have a strong need to receive attention and approval from others. “Histrionic” - “prone to dramatization, theatricality.” The main thing for them is to look good; everything else is unimportant details. Histrionics have what you might need in business or life, but be careful: these people are prone to dramatic effects. What you see is just a performance.
Vampires cannot see their reflection in the mirror. Histrionics do not even see the mirror itself. They are true experts at hiding their own motives from themselves. They firmly believe that they never do anything inappropriate - they don't make mistakes or think badly of other people. They consider themselves good people, whose sole purpose is to help others. But if you question this, you will be in trouble. It's amazing how much damage these nice people can cause.
Vampire Lynn calls her friend Melissa.
- I just talked to Patty. She thinks she shouldn't go to the bachelorette party over the weekend.
- Why?
- She has some problems with you. Maybe you should talk to her.
- What problems?
- Well, she says that you try to control everything and that if things don't go your way, you get very upset.
If you asked Lynn why she tells her best friend If another friend said something bad about her, she would say that she was just trying to help the two girls get along. As for Lynn and the other Histrionics, it is very important to understand that they are not lying, at least not to you. Histrionic vampires deceive themselves; deceiving other people is just by-effect. Although Lynn actually enjoys stirring up conflict between her two friends, she truly considers herself a kind person who wants to help, but who is always blamed for things she wouldn't even think of doing. It is simply impossible to change this girl's opinion about herself. If you try to accuse her of intentionally causing trouble, you'll end up in real drama, and it'll likely end up making you look a lot worse than she does.
Protect yourself - never tell histrionic vampires like Lynn anything you wouldn't want to see on Facebook.
Don't even try to force a histrionic vampire to admit his true motives. Better use his ability to act to your advantage by coming up with a less destructive role for this person in your life. The chapters on Histrionics will tell you how to do this. By using a creative approach, you can avoid a situation where the “help” of such people will bring you nothing but trouble.
Narcissistic vampires. Have you ever noticed that people with big egos are completely worthless in everything else? Narcissistic vampires strive for only one thing: to live in their grandiose fantasies that they are the smartest, most talented, best people in the world. And it's not that they think of themselves better than others. They don't think about other people at all.
Narcissistic vampires are legends in their own minds. Of course, you shouldn’t even expect them to live according to the rules of mere mortals.
Vampire Lewis Hunter III, CEO one company gives this speech to his management team: “I don’t want to call it downsizing; It's more of an optimization. In the current market environment, our level of overhead is simply unacceptable. - He pauses so that those present understand the full meaning of what was said. “It is with a heavy heart that I am forced to announce that each of you must propose a budget that includes a 25 percent reduction in current spending.” There is no other way out. I believe that, in keeping with team spirit, it would be fair to distribute the cost cuts evenly across all departments.”
What Lewis's subordinates don't know is that Lewis ended up getting a pay raise that was 10% of the cost cuts he demanded from department heads.
Narcissists create a difficult dilemma. Although narcissism most often lacks greatness, there is no greatness without narcissism. Without vampires of this type, there would be no people willing to take on the role of leaders.
No matter what they say, narcissistic vampires rarely do anything for themselves. They can consider you almost their equal in importance only as long as your interests are consistent with their interests.
Vampires of this type always strive to win. Do not fight them unless you are confident that you can destroy them. And even then, be careful. They are very vindictive. It is better to subtly take advantage of their weakness by stroking their ego and learning to give them the praise they need without being influenced by them.
Obsessive-compulsive vampires They are characterized by a desire for security, which, in their deep conviction, they can achieve only through scrupulous attention to detail and complete control over everything. You are familiar with such vampires. These are meticulous people who do not see the forest behind the huge number of unnecessary, unnecessary trees. But what you don’t know is that all of this Obsessive-Compulsive attention to detail is aimed at achieving one goal: ensuring their own safety.
Without Obsessive-Compulsives, none of the most difficult and thankless tasks would be completed, nothing would work properly, and none of us would ever do what we need to do. For better or worse, Obsessive Compulsives are the only people who make sure everyone else doesn't stray too far from their path. We may not always like them, but we need them.
Most of the conflicts that obsessive-compulsive vampires face are internal. They don't like hurting other people, but they will do so if your actions compromise their ability to control the situation. Surprises (even pleasant ones) cause Obsessive-Compulsives the same sensations as icy splashes of holy water. They do not want to hurt the feelings of other people, but at the same time they consider it necessary to express their opinion on any matter.
- Ta-there! - Kevin says as vampire Sarah enters the room. - After so many months, I finally painted the walls in the living room!
He waits for a few seconds for Sarah's reaction, but she remains silent.
- Well, what do you think?
- This is wonderful. But…
- But what?
- You see, it seemed to me that we had not yet chosen a color.
Obsessive-compulsives take a very long time to make a decision. But it is even more difficult to get even a word of praise from them.
Perfectionism, excessive control and attention to detail are the shortcomings that obsessive-compulsives have and which they disguise as strengths. They tend to confuse the process with the result, the letter of the law with its spirit. The best way to protect yourself from this type of vampire is to keep track of the big picture and not get lost in dark forest redundant details.
Paranoid vampires. In common parlance, the word “paranoid” is used to describe people who feel like they are being followed. At first glance, it is difficult to imagine that anything good can be found in persecution mania. The appeal of paranoid vampires lies not in their fears, but in what lies at the root of those fears. In reality, paranoia is an extreme simplistic way of thinking that allows this type of vampire to see things that others cannot. Their goal is to know the Truth and eliminate any uncertainty from their lives.
Paranoids live according to rigid rules that they firmly believe are true. In addition, they believe that everyone else should live by these rules. Such people always monitor any deviations from the rules - and in most cases find them. Think of them as detectives in the world of vampires. You will feel completely safe around them - as long as you don't end up among the suspects.
Vampire Jamal comes into the kitchen, wiping his hands on a paper towel.
- I just changed the oil in your car and noticed that the gas tank is almost empty.
- And what? - Teresa shrugs.
- I just filled it up on Saturday.
- But I’ve been traveling for a whole week.
Jamal throws away the paper towel.
“You know,” he says, “this is a little strange.” I don't remember you ever using a whole tank of gas in a week. How much does your car consume - about seven liters per 100 kilometers? This means that you have traveled more than seven hundred kilometers.
Teresa smiles and shrugs.
- I think it was a very active week.
Jamal looks deeply into Teresa's eyes.
- So where did you go?
The only thing Paranoid people don't understand is that their own behavior causes other people to persecute them.
Vampires of this type see what is hidden under the surface - secret motives and deeper levels of reality. Most great moralists, visionaries and theorists (and the psychotherapists who make money from them) have some degree of paranoid personality disorder - otherwise they would simply take everything for granted. Unfortunately, people who suffer from paranoia do not see the difference between theories about invisible physical forces and speculation that unidentified aliens are trying to take over our planet. The same motivation that gave rise to the greatest religious truths of all time led to the burning of heretics at the stake.
If you are hiding something, the Paranoid will certainly find it out. The only way to protect yourself is to tell him the pure, undisguised truth. Talk about it once and you won't be cross-examined again. But this is easier said than done. The chapters on paranoid vampires explore this topic in more detail.
There is nothing inherently sinister about emotional vampires, but because they are childish, they act without thinking about whether they are doing good or bad. They perceive other people as a potential source of what they need at the moment, rather than as independent human beings with their own feelings and needs. Vampires are not evil in and of themselves, but their distorted perceptions provide a door through which evil can easily enter.
The purpose of my book is not to judge the morality of emotional vampires, but to teach you how to detect their presence in your life, and also to give you insight into what to do when you are attacked by the forces of darkness.
Understanding their immaturity is your main weapon. Many of their most outrageous acts would be understandable if they were committed by a two-year-old child. Do not be fooled by the calendar age or responsible position of vampires. In fact, they are two-year-old children, at least in those cases when they commit inappropriate acts. The most successful strategies for dealing with emotional vampires are the same strategies you would use with young children: set boundaries, accommodate unforeseen circumstances, be consistent, lecture as little as possible, reward good behavior, ignore the bad and use time-out as punishment from time to time.
We are all vampires to some extent. No one person can be placed into a specific diagnostic category, no matter how elegant or well thought out those categories may be. As you read this book, you may discover that all the people you know (including yourself) share the characteristics of emotional vampires of all types. Every person has some of these characteristics; on the other hand, no one person possesses all the qualities inherent in emotional vampires. The most difficult people are a combination of two or more types of vampires. Perhaps here you will find a description of the qualities that are characteristic of your aggressive boss or arrogant ex-spouse. Feel free to use those methods that seem most suitable to you in each specific case.
Dealing with emotional vampires takes a lot of energy. But the choice is yours. Sometimes it’s better to just run away or at least not get caught in their web. I hope this book will help you find the best method for communicating with the vampires you encounter in your daily life. Each chapter contains a description of methods for dealing with emotional vampires and ways of escape.
Albert Bernstein
Very practical and written with humor, this book will teach you:
Identify emotional vampires: antisocial, impulsive, theatrical, narcissistic and paranoid - before you are bitten by them;
Use an arsenal of techniques to avoid unpleasant relationships and renew those that can be resurrected from the dead;
Manage unique and complex situations in which the emotional vampire is your spouse, partner or child.
Thanks to this book, you will be perfectly armed to fight back without shedding a drop of blood!
Each of us has been in situations where unreasonable aggression and shouting completely spoiled the mood, resentment and even complete loss of strength appeared. The question arises in my head: “Why is it so unfair to me?” But it turns out - just like that! I was just in a bad mood, I had a fight with someone recently, I was bored, sad, lonely - and as a result, everything spills out on the first person you meet (including you). Why is this happening?
Psychologists have defined this as emotional vampirism.
Its signs: unreasonable insults, aggression, negative assessments, rudeness and even causing physical pain.
The basic principle of the emotional vampire: The worse it is for others, the better it is for me.
Many of them do not even notice how this process is happening and do not give an account of their actions. Often we ourselves become such vampires.
How does emotional vampirism occur?
A person feels the need to receive or release emotions;
Urgently looks for a victim (the victim may be the first one who catches his eye);
Attacks (brings the victim off balance and forces him to violently throw out negativity);
Saturates or discharges;
Infects the victim (the victim herself begins to feel the need and becomes an emotional vampire).
It is up to you to break the chain or pass it on.
Causes of emotional vampirism :
The need for care, loneliness, envy, low self-esteem, poor physical well-being, the need for emotions, internal resentment caused by someone earlier.
Once a person feels the taste of human pain, he cannot stop, because the mechanism for obtaining new emotions in this way is very simple. And the result, as a rule, is quick: the victim either feeds the vampire, giving him vivid emotions (getting into an argument, showing resentment, reacting vividly to actions, etc.), or the victim acts as a trash can into which the vampire pours the excess their negative emotions. Do you want to be food or trash?
What to do:
First of all, love yourself and know your worth! This will allow you not to react to stupid aggressive attacks, groundless insults and reproaches. Don’t depend on other people’s opinions, don’t take everything at face value (you believe, and that’s what a vampire needs!). Always out loud and with feeling self-esteem forgive the offender, even if he is wrong! This will allow you to keep the resentment out and protect you from further attacks.
Love yourself! Know your worth, and do not pay attention to those who are trying with all their might to infect you with this terrible disease!
Source -
It sounds strange, but we are often surrounded by real vampires. The only difference with the heroes of films is that to maintain life they do not need our blood, which can be seen without using a cystoscope, but they need our energy and emotions.
How to recognize an emotional vampire? From a psychological point of view emotional vampires are divided into several groups:
1. Provocateurs.
These are the individuals who vigorously use their elbows on public transport and burst out into an angry and lengthy speech in response to any remark. They always criticize everything: the government, the country, their work, low salaries, the people around them, ungrateful children. It’s even more difficult if such an instance lives next door to you or, even worse, is your boss. The vampire will not miss a single opportunity to hook you.
Advice. Learn not to experience reciprocal aggressive emotions. After all, this is exactly what a vampire achieves. It feeds off your bad mood, self-doubt and loss of strength. Stay calm and don't raise your voice. The reaction to this behavior of yours will initially be increased aggression, but over time the energy bloodsucker will be forced to switch to another donor.
2. Mother Teresa.
These are people who are ready to help you in everything, even if you don’t need it one bit. They live the life of their victim, they have no interests of their own. Under such total care, a feeling of guilt for one’s ingratitude towards a “responsive” person flourishes.
Advice. You have the right to your privacy. Do not dedicate the vampire to the details of your life and always speak clearly and clearly when you do not need his help and support. Otherwise, the artificially grown feeling of guilt will emotionally devastate you.
3. Poor relatives.
It's not a matter of blood relationship. Such people, even at the first meeting, evoke pity and a desire to console them, although most often nothing terrible happens in their lives.
Advice. Do not become the only “straw” for your ward. A person must understand that you are not obligated to solve his problems and spend all your time on sympathy and consolation. Otherwise, you risk taking the position of a person who needs to be pitied.