About 20 years ago, my fascination with various otherworldly affairs resulted in a literally epoch-making work about vampires. Along with myths, legends and esoteric practice of protection, of course, it was impossible not to describe such a character as an emotional vampire.
Now this hobby seems naive, especially after getting acquainted with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. However, having recently discovered my “treatise” on the Internet, I again thought about people who cannot be called anything other than an emotional vampire.
Those who are passionate about esotericism also call them energy vampires, always focusing on their features and differences. But, at least from the point of view of psychology, at least from the point of view of esotericism, the meaning is the same - they take away energy, “drink blood” (albeit in a figurative sense), and exhaust the nerves. I'm sure everyone has someone in mind who others consider a vampire. Or maybe you yourself wouldn’t mind getting on someone’s nerves?
General distinguishing feature emotional vampires, which is easy to notice with knowledge of system-vector psychology - insufficient development and implementation of the innate properties of vectors. They exploit their own shortcomings through “vampirism.” It is precisely because of the inability to fully realize one’s natural potential that a person has the desire to “snatch a piece of someone else’s life.”
In the broadest sense, a “vampire” is a neighbor who constantly “gets into trouble,” a “tram boor,” an obsessive salesman, an envious friend, and even a nice girl trying to commit suicide for the third time in the last week. An emotional vampire can be pleasant to others or disgusting, but he always achieves his goal - you feel empty.
Without seeing the motives for behavior, it is difficult to evaluate such things and understand what to do about it. Therefore, in this article we will look at “vampirism” from a systemic point of view.
Love me urgently!
The most classic version of an emotional vampire is people with a visual vector in poor condition.
In the case of a visual vector, everything is simple - its owner needs to be filled with emotions like air. And if these emotions do not exist, then you need to come up with them literally out of the blue, making a mountain out of a molehill, for example. By the way, the visual vector is the root of all hysterics with hand-wringing and tearful threats to commit suicide.
Emotions in the visual vector are either expressed outward, in return, or absorbed into oneself through various kinds of blackmail and the most emotional vampirism. Or compassion and love for others, which only a visual vector is capable of, or a tearful hysteria “Love only me, everyone!” This is where the amplitude of feelings is gigantic and the imagination for theatrical effects is inexhaustible! Especially if the emotional vampire also has a skin vector.
The visual-cutaneous ligament “creates” the characters in the scene. Spectators, applause, constant emotional involvement. Look at the great actors - they are all owners of the visual-cutaneous ligament of vectors, they literally burn on stage, giving themselves to the viewer without reserve. And the viewer loves them for the opportunity to feel an emotional exchange that is not available in everyday life.
An emotional vampire basically does the same thing. With one “But”. He forces you to give emotions not from yourself, but to yourself, absorbs them without giving anything in return.
Some skin-visual ladies skillfully use their charm, portraying a victim with their entire appearance, forcing those around them to dance to their tune. A broken nail is more than a serious reason for hysteria, which implies the obligation of those around them to do their best to console the sufferer and urgently pay for her a new manicure. It’s also easy to start a scandal at work, taking advantage of the first opportunity and your higher position.
The second version of the visual emotional vampire is based on the anal vector. An anal-visual person will no longer chase theatrical effects. He will persistently demonstrate to you his care and sacrifice. So much so that you will also feel guilty that you are not grateful enough to him for his attentiveness, that you do not appreciate and respect him enough!
In his head, if his innate properties are not realized in a peaceful way, a hot potion of emotional swings is brewed, which in the lower state falls into resentment. He doesn't just get enough of your attention - when he doesn't receive this attention, he gets offended! His offense is pure blackmail.
Heartfelt, hours-long conversations-monologues demanding an expression of care and interest in yourself... You will learn many details of a painful life, as well as the medical history of your great-aunt and the sports success of your second cousin. Most listeners are uncomfortable interrupting such a pleasant and unhappy person. The result is still the same - the emotional vampire got his, and you... You, as they say, would be better off unloading the pastures.
After spending more time with such an emotional vampire, you will most likely come to terms with your “bad upbringing” or develop a deep sense of guilt. It’s better to immediately refer to being busy and be branded heartless.
Guilty without guilt
Any person goes for pleasure and gets it as best he can. The maximum possible. This is precisely why developed and realized people do not become emotional vampires. They have access to much greater pleasures than the “bits” of other people’s emotions.
Of course, everyone has crisis situations when emotional vampirism is the only way to stay afloat. Then a person requires real emotional involvement of others, real emotional intimacy. On a short time. For salvation. And for some, vampirism, as a consumer attitude towards others, is a way of life.
But it is wrong to assume that an emotional vampire is capable of planning his “attacks.” In most cases, he does not know at all how others react until someone announces a “diagnosis” to him. And even then nothing changes - the emotional emptiness that needs to be filled requires saturation.
Scene on the windowsill - what to do with an emotional vampire of the visual type?
The best option in the case of an emotional vampire is to redirect his energy in another direction, to suggest an option for realizing his innate properties without harming others. For example, in the case of a fairly developed but not realized visual woman, ideally this should be a constant practice of compassion - with people who are obviously worse off than she is. For example, caring for an elderly neighbor, supervising sick children.
In a less developed version, just find a place where she could receive her attention. For example, send your grandmother to the stage of a local cultural center - preparations for performances or performances will be enough for her to fill the lack of attention, hysterics and constant blackmail will recede.
If the “vampire” is not a person close to you, and you can’t experience communication in any way, then sharply turn off the tap of your emotions towards him. Don't feed an emotional vampire - he will never have enough, and you will always be to blame. Be consistent and persistent here.
There are many options for behavior in a specific situation with specific people. The main thing is to understand what is behind their actions, what shortcomings are, and then you yourself will understand what the best solution in this case will be.
5 types of emotional vampires and how to protect yourself from them. Stay away from these people! It's time to say goodbye to them! Relationships with other people suck the most energy out of a person. Some relationships can be positive and uplifting, while others can be downright draining.
It’s as if people are sucking the optimism and peace out of you. They are called emotional or energy vampires. They don't just drain your energy.The most malicious of them can make you believe that you are a worthless person who no one loves. The less negative ones simply leave little splinters in your head that lower your self-esteem. An example would be the following phrases: “Honey, I see you’ve gained a little weight” or “You take everything too personally.”
To protect your energy and energy, you need to protect yourself from such individuals. But first, let’s figure out how you can understand that this is an energy vampire in front of you. Signs that you are a vampire:
- your eyelids become heavy, you want to take a nap;
- mood drops sharply;
- I want to eat carbohydrates or just eat something tasty;
- you start to worry, feel depressed or negative;
- you feel humiliated.
Now let's look at what types of vampires there are and how to deal with them.
1. Narcissus
Their motto is: “I am first.” Everything is just for them, for them and about them. These people have a grandiose sense of self-importance; they believe that everyone is owed to them. They constantly capture the attention of others and demand admiration for themselves. These people are dangerous because they lack a sense of compassion and are practically incapable of selfless love. If you do something not according to their script, they become rude, distant and cold.
How to protect yourself from a Narcissist: Your expectations should always match reality. These people are emotionally limited. Try not to fall in love with them, don't expect selflessness or unconditional love from them. Never become dependent on them, never open up to them to the depths of your soul. To successfully interact with Narcissists, you will have to show them how they will benefit from communicating with you. It's best not to communicate with them at all. However, if it is necessary or unavoidable, this is the approach that will work.
2. Victim
These vampires are annoying with their "poor me" attitude. The world is always against them and this makes them unhappy. When you offer them a solution to a problem, you always hear: “Yes, but...” Eventually, you start not answering calls from these eternally unhappy people or avoiding them altogether. As a friend, you would like to help, but this constant nagging has simply overwhelmed your patience.
How to protect yourself from the Victim: Set soft but clear boundaries. Listen briefly and tell a relative or friend: “I love you, but I can’t listen for long. Unless you want to discuss a solution to the problem.” You can sympathize with a colleague with the words: “I hope everything will be fine.” Then say: “I hope you understand - I have a lot of work, and deadlines are running out.” And then use “now is the wrong time” body language: cross your arms and break eye contact to establish those very boundaries.
3. Inspector
These people obsessively try to control you and dictate how you should be and feel. They have an opinion on everything. They control you, rejecting your emotions if they don't fit into their plan. They often construct sentences with the words: “Do you know what you need?” And then they teach what and how. As a result, you feel depressed and humiliated.
How to protect yourself from the Auditor: The secret to success is to never try to control the Auditor. Be assertive within reason, but don't tell them what to do. You can say, “I appreciate your advice, but I need to deal with this on my own.” Be confident, but don't play the victim.
4. Announcer
These people don't care about your feelings. They think only about themselves. You are constantly waiting for the moment when you can get a word in, but it never comes. These people can get so physically close that you can literally feel their breath on you. You take a step back, they take a step forward.
How to protect yourself from the Announcer: These people do not respond to non-verbal cues. You will have to say everything out loud, interrupting their endless series of rhetoric, even if it will be almost impossible to do this. Listen for a few minutes. Then politely say, “It’s awkward to interrupt, but I need to talk to the other person. Please excuse me.” Talking to another person, going to a pre-arranged meeting, going to the toilet - there may be different reasons.
Such a way out of the situation is much more constructive than this: “Shut up already, you’ll drive me crazy!” If you have a relative in front of you, politely say: “I really want you to give me a couple of minutes to talk. I also have something to say.” If you say it in a neutral tone, you'll have a better chance of being heard.
5. Drama Queen
Such people tend to exaggerate: they turn minor incidents into stunning events. For example, you have a colleague who is constantly late. The reason could be a cold from which he “almost died” or a car that was taken to a parking lot for the hundred and fifth time. After communicating with such people, you feel mentally and physically exhausted, plus you can’t shake the feeling that you were used.
How to Protect yourself from a Drama King or Queen: Such people do not understand the advantage of keeping a cool head. Keep calm. Take a few deep breaths. This way you can prevent yourself from being drawn into a theatrical performance. Set clear boundaries in a gentle manner. If you are the boss of this late person, say: “You need to be on time to keep your job. I sympathize with all your troubles, but work is still more important.”
Here are 5 types of people who can negatively impact your energy. To ensure that your relationships with others are pleasant and your energy is in full swing, try to maintain a balance in your life of positive people who charge you with this energy and vampires. Strive to spend time with those who love you and limit your interactions with vampires. This way you can significantly improve your quality of life.
“They look ordinary people until their internal needs turn them into predators. They are not looking for blood, but emotional energy. They can not only pester you, but also hypnotize you to drown your mind with deceptive promises until you fall under their influence. These emotional vampires pull you in and then empty you out.” Albert Bernstein.
Emotional Vampires They seem like nice and friendly neighbors, but they spread rumors behind their backs.
At first they seem better than ordinary people. They are charismatic and charming. You love them, you trust them, you expect more from them than from other people.
You expect more, but you get less, and in the end they take over you. You invite them into your life and rarely realize the problem before they are gone, leaving you empty, your wallet empty, or perhaps your heart broken. Even then you wonder... Is it their fault or mine? Their. These are emotional vampires.”
Excerpt from the book “Emotional Vampires” by Albert Bernstein.
Just like other relationships we develop throughout our lives, emotional connections grow depending on how we nurture them. Of course, if we feed them sadness, envy, complaining, or constant anger, then we are creating an unhealthy relationship.
It is well known to everyone that there are relationships that can be overly harmful to us, that threaten our emotional balance.
There are people who, intentionally or not, can make us feel depressed, overwhelmed, angry, or can even destroy us emotionally.
The truth is that without effective self-defense strategies, we become food for emotional manipulators, which causes us to develop unhealthy behaviors and symptoms (overeating, isolation, mood swings, feeling constantly tired...).
“They are not inherently bad, but their immaturity allows them to act without thinking whether their actions are good or bad” (Albert Bernstein)
Below we will identify 5 types of people who are toxic to our emotional health, absorb our energy like vampires and lie in wait for us like predators.
Passive-aggressive people
They are experts at hiding and sugar-coating hostility. These people express their anger with a smile on their face or with excessive anxiety, but always with a restraint that is annoying.
Most of us have used this technique at one time or another, but such people abuse us by making us lose peace in their presence.
The best self-defense strategy to guide their behavior is to fully maintain your beliefs, create boundaries and stick to them.
We deserve to be treated with love and sincerity, and we should not allow them to talk to us as if they had mercy on our lives.
Narcissistic people
They believe that they are the center of the universe. Selfish, vain and craving admiration and attention. They may present themselves as smart and attractive until they see their status as a guru or intellectual power as a threat.
They can work with enthusiasm and creativity as long as your goals align. However, when your needs are incompatible, they show their fangs.
Since their motto is “I come first,” getting angry at them or aggressively expressing your needs will not have any impact. Because they usually lack empathy or hide it well, it can be difficult for them to understand unconditional love. They are the first, and when this is not the case, they start a conflict.
So the best self-protection is to take advantage of their good traits, but be realistic in your expectations. At the same time, do not allow yourself to be crushed or feel inferior, but understand that narcissism is their own need.
You can always get help whenever you appeal to their own interests and show them how your business will be of great benefit to them.
Angry people
These vampires spend their time blaming, attacking, humiliating, criticizing, and creating conflict. They are addicted to anger and often punish people. Such people can tear you to pieces out of anger.
The best self-defense strategy: Protect your self-esteem so that their anger doesn't cause you to lose control. Take your time, pause and breathe deeply. Try to control yourself against their attacks and don't react until you calm down.
This way, you can disarm this person and make her realize the importance of acknowledging and considering your opinion on the matter.
“These people suffer a lot from their own attacks. A calm attitude towards their requests will help you find a common language with them.”
Eternal Martyrs
Martyrs are the kings and queens of drama. They can be found everywhere. They know how to make you feel bad. They constantly push your insecurity buttons and rub salt into your wounds.
The best self-defense is to let go of the idea that we have to be perfect and responsible all the time. Everyone makes mistakes. However, when you feel guilty, it is better to go somewhere else, think about what is harming you, and cry if necessary.
You can also respond to their attacks with positive statements, such as: “I understand your point, but when you say that, it hurts me. I would appreciate it if you would stop saying that.”
Jealous people and gossipers
These are noisy people who take pleasure in talking about others behind their backs, ruining people's reputations and spreading harmful rumors. When they do this, everyone around them feels humiliated and depressed.
The best way to defend yourself is to not worry about what this person says about you and not to take gossip to heart. It's better to ignore them.
On the other hand, if you are in a group where people start talking about someone, then it is better to change the topic and never spread gossip.
However, it is appropriate to let them know that you know what they are doing and you don't like it. We can address them and say something like, “Your comments are offensive. How would you feel if I said this about you? Please stop talking about me like that.”
Identify the people who cause you emotional pain and build self-protection mechanisms so that your psychological well-being is not damaged.