Witty funny phrases with meaning. Cool aphorisms, phrases and quotes for all time. Funny short birthday phrases

Why are cool expressions and phrases useful? For any occasion in life, some people always have jokes, jokes, sayings that are capable of others. A witty, ironic, cheerful person can easily endure adversity and will not go into his pocket for a word.

Reality sometimes brings not the most pleasant surprises. Overload in the workplace, stressful situations in your own home, lack of confidence in friends, work colleagues, and in the future as a whole often leads to a breakdown. Needless to say, what is in my soul at such moments - just cats scratching. What to do in these turbulent times?

What can help relieve stress?

Many people, finding themselves victims of unexpected pressure, try to look, if not oblivion, then recharge, in the regular use of various stimulants. Moreover, some of them begin to support themselves with relatively safe energy drinks, and end their lives as avid drug addicts.

Even our favorite tea is one of these energy drinks. It is known that tea can lift your mood for no apparent reason. Over time, however, this can lead to true chemical dependence. Therefore, it is much better to relieve stress by remembering and using cool expressions for any occasion.

Will humor and gags help me cope with stress?

Appropriate jokes and gags can improve mood and relieve stress without any additional chemical doping. It is for this reason that the article is devoted to funny expressions that are applicable in a variety of life situations. .

After reading it, you will not only improve your mood here and now. By memorizing some of these expressions, you can cheer yourself up whenever the need arises. Moreover, such a beneficial effect will have virtually no side effects.

The main thing here is not to overdo it, communicating with people who do not understand humor. After all, some may condemn even the most innocent joke, and light sarcasm for them is like a personal insult!

When can funny expressions about life be used in speech?

If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. This is the upbringing of positive character traits that help to go through life easier, quickly find new friends and help old ones. Cool expressions filled with subtle humor will help defuse the situation in almost any situation. They can be used when something went wrong and when the heart is overflowing with joy. The most important thing is that the interlocutor is on the same emotional wavelength with you. If this condition is met, neither you nor your audience will be bored.

Examples of the coolest expressions about family life

In this block you will find the most famous funny expressions that can be used in the process of communicating with family members. It is especially recommended to study this block for the male half: do not forget that women love witty ones. We present our TOP-10:

Marital ties are difficult, so they are usually carried by two, and sometimes by three.
Lover from his first marriage.
The naivete of the woman: even watching porn films, she hopes that the sex will end in a wedding.
Declaration of love is like a signal of the exact time. It is only true at the moment of being pronounced.
My trembling half.
You and I are one blood - you are Chuk, I am Huck.
When it is raining and melancholy outside, nag your husband - create an atmosphere of comfort.
It is better to be jealous of a woman for a stove than a computer.
My children are worried about where everything came from, me - where did everything go.
Happiness is when the desired moments coincide with the inevitable.
A strong marriage is a humble husband and wife who treats him like a king.

Funny expressions on vacation

To fill the rest with smiles and fun, you can use almost any jokes and gags. The most appropriate of these would be cool expressions from the movies. If those do not come to mind, remember something from the following TOP:

One drop of nicotine will kill a horse, three hundred - will be able to defeat
A quickly drunk glass cannot be considered poured.
Today you don't drink with us, but tomorrow you will betray your Motherland.
Eat, gorge on, dear guests. If your conscience is completely gone, then you can come tomorrow.
It's nice to talk to smart people, but it's hard to work with.
My life is passing away so quickly, as if she is no longer interested in me.
There are no ugly women - there are underfunded.
To make a woman happy, let her sometimes do nothing.
A person who values \u200b\u200blife will not distort it with dirty thoughts.
Monogamous will make only one person unhappy.

and phrases appropriate to the doctor's queue

Do you have to go to the doctor again? Do not despair! Our coolest expressions, presented in the following TOP, can make a visit to the doctor easy and fun:

Go to the website of the dental clinic - www.zubov.net.
One head is good, but the torso is also useful.
The patient refused to autopsy, so the doctor was forced to treat him.
The doctor cannot prolong life, therefore he prolongs the disease.
The doctor asks the patient with a knife in his back: - Does it hurt a lot? - No, it is unpleasant only when I laugh.
Medicines are so expensive that as long as you make money on them, time will heal.
A new version of the Hippocratic Oath: only upon presentation of an insurance policy ...
This is what our Predictamus suffered.
The more free the medicine is, the more expensive the medicine is.
It was a beautiful leg ... Give the second!

Funny expressions used during an argument

Of course, quarrels are not the most pleasant thing. But even they can be made less painful if you learn to “send” people you don't like more or less beautifully. Next is the next TOP, in which you will find expressions with meaning, funny insults to cultural people:

How much will the principles be on your exchange today?
Of course, everyone wants to be honest ... But you want to be rich more.
Yes, it's time to weed your head.
Grunting is a new sign of consent!
There are simply no unbearable people, there are only narrow doors.
Who made such a face for you?
Let it be rubbish. But take as much as you want!
I noticed in the face of your alarm clock that you are getting ready to ring again.
You should not fake thoughts here.
And reluctance to live, and laziness to shoot yourself.

Cool expressions about gray everyday life

Cool expressions about life are an opportunity to paint the gray everyday life. Do you want to see for yourself? Read the following TOP:

Soon they will start jailing all the malicious defaulters of bribes.
Don't smile at me like a tax inspector.
I increasingly have prophetic nightmares.
For complete happiness, I want to survive.
The 112 service received another call. The rescuers were upset, but decided not to pick up the phone.
If a bald head is a path trampled by thoughts, then I am the most thinking person!
Even New Year someone hates. Well, for example, Christmas trees.
To eat so much, you have to refresh yourself.
If you are always surrounded by fools, then you are the most important of them.
I'd rather be covered in sweat seven times than frost once.

Funny expressions used instead of insults

There are people to whom you explain at least 1000 times, repeat - everything is useless! However, even in this case, one should not despair and be sad. After all, cool expressions for communicating with an unpleasant interlocutor can come up in slippery situations. Communication with "especially gifted" people is no exception. To find out how to point out to such people all the stupidity of their position, remember a few expressions from the following TOP:

Sewerage is the only thing that can unite us.
I look you are smart! I see that the skull is too tight. I can fix it.
Smile wider, the boss needs more idiots.
Don't make me nervous! I already have nowhere to hide the corpses!
There is only one hero. When there are many heroes, they are called hooligans.
I see that soon someone will get off with a slight fright.
You won't have to wait long for a warning shot to the head.
Careful, take care, don't let your brain think.
If I get up, I'm afraid nuclear war will ruin such a beautiful day for you.
More and more often I feel an irresistible desire to obscenely admire your behavior.

Cool expressions to help you admit your mistake

Oddly enough, funny ones can smooth out the situation when you don't feel like laughing at all. One such situation is having to admit your own mistakes. To find out what you can say in such an inconvenient case, check out the next TOP:

The source of my wisdom is my experience. The source of my experience is my stupidity.
There are people who are not wrong, which means that they are simply afraid to act.
Our delusions will die before us, so there is no need to make a mummy out of them.
Experience is the kind of thing that you get instead of what you wanted.
Experience is such a thing that appears immediately after it was needed.
I will not try to have time to explain something in the intervals between slaps. And it will turn out indistinctly, and you will have to repeat.
Why commit the sin of discouragement over mistakes when there are more pleasant sins all around!
Today I am quieter than water and funnier than grass.
And yet I did not manage to break all the decorum today.
The wisdom is not in not making mistakes, but in not repeating them again.

Descriptions of news and other recent events

Watching the news today can be just as stressful as talking to an angry boss. Our final TOP "Funny catchphrases about modern life" will provide you with invaluable help in detente:

On election day, the people cast their ballots.
Also say that Lenin was a skinhead!
The main thing is to win. After all, the winners will not be jailed.
Walking at night is the easiest way to commit suicide.
Debauchery is any sex in which you are not involved.
The longer I think, the more I am convinced that Eve not only ate the forbidden apple, but also made a fashionable bag out of poor Snake.
If I fly in an airplane, I will choose a seat in front. When the plane crashes, the beer cart will pass beside me again! At least I'll get drunk before I die.
It looks like steaks with blood of the second group will soon become the most common dish.
Driver, beware of places where children may suddenly jump out!
Psychoanalysis is the brain's efforts to obtain pleasure intended for another organ.

A little more about the benefits and expressions in everyday life

If an article on the topic "Cool expressions for any occasion" encourages anyone not to resort to various chemical doping just to cope with the negative effects of stress, then it was not written in vain.

Of course, constant stress is not a pleasant thing, but you can and should learn to cope with it without medication. Is it difficult? Not really. It will be difficult only at the very beginning. Especially these difficulties can affect those who have already become addicted to some chemicals.

If we are talking about drug addiction or advanced alcoholism, in order to overcome addiction, most likely, you will have to consult a narcologist.

However, most of the readers do not belong to this population group. This means you can train your own mind to deal with stress successfully. To achieve this goal without serious difficulty, you need to learn how to switch from what is upsetting to exactly opposite moments during the time. In a very short time, you will notice that achieving this goal is not difficult at all. The main thing here is not to let yourself be turned on!

After all, if someone from your environment behaves rudely, this is his, not your problem. Why waste your energy on other people's problems? And even if you were wrong: what will hassle and bitter tears give? Isn't it better to just draw the right conclusions and not repeat past missteps and mistakes?

The media will rain down a storm of negative news on us in an endless stream. And what does it give? Will there be fewer wars? Will planes stop crashing? Will all drivers and pedestrians learn to follow traffic rules? Unfortunately, all these questions can be considered rhetorical. Therefore, after all, you should not worry too much about everything that the media rains down on us. Let's live in harmony with our nervous system. And constant stress has not prolonged anyone's health!

Therefore, the only thing that can really help us is the correct attitude to everything that happens both in the world around us and directly in our life. Any difficulties are easier to endure in a calm mood. And the best helpers in the constant struggle with stress, apathy, depression and constant fear are ourselves. The ability to control your own consciousness, to have in stock cool phrases and expressions are a type of positive survival.

Continue to look at your life with a smile, endure difficulties with a cold mind and notice the positive moments in any situation. And most importantly - stop worrying about trifles! Life loves those who take it easy! And then everything in your life will be just wonderful!

What a pity you finally leave.

A bad person is one who does not love me, a good one.

Move the tomatoes - go faster.

Eating too much is harmful, and eating too little is boring.

Who gets up early, he gets everyone.

Ugly women are always jealous of their husbands; beautiful - not before, they are jealous of strangers.

A real intellectual will never say - "as she was a fool, she remained so," he will say - "time has no power over her."

You need to rejoice today, otherwise tomorrow will be even better.

He buried his ax of war somewhere on Mira Avenue ...

How many of us, mindless sages!

Such horrors were shown in the mirror this morning.

Not to be able, not to be able, to theorize - I can, I can, I practice.

The end of the world was canceled because of people like you.

We had a Schrödinger relationship with her.

Don't leave the bar, don't make a mistake.

Nothing invigorates you in the morning like an unnoticed doorframe.

Left with a nose, I became completely unbearable!

Life is beautiful if you do not remember the past and do not think about the future.

Goose also thought that he was bathing until the water boiled ...

Miracle on a silver platter.

Hate is negatively charged love.

Erysipelas in clay, branches in the bottom, which means I came from reconnaissance!

Keep it simple and microbiologists will reach out to you.

There is never too much empty space!

Yes, so that you dream about Bilan on skates!

Having broken the spear about the foolishness of the opponent ...

I'm not as stupid as you look.

If you want to lose weight, go to the students.

It's all over: you have to turn around!

Life was imaginary.

I get the impression that apart from impressions, I have nothing to add up.

Do not enter someone else's network with your own protocol!

I do not treat my schizophrenia. It doesn't hurt me.

Today I may not be able to.

A week modern youth: Slacker, Repeat (repeat of the slacker), Delirium, Quarter, Nursery, Clubbbot, Hangover.

Don't think anything bad, but I don't care what you think of me.

If there is tea on the table, then you must definitely drink it.

If you don't shut up right now, you will smile with your gums.

If beautiful and smart do not exist at the same time, does it mean I do not exist?

Never forget about your sclerosis.

Nerves gave me up.

Of all the money, I like paper money the most.

Between two beautiful roses - a nasty fly agaric grew.

The meaning of life lay on the sofa.

I woke up, setting off a series of horrific events.

How can you love your neighbor if he resists?

Oh sorry. It seems that the middle of my sentence interrupts the beginning of yours.

Sitting in the bathtub fishing. sometimes the doctor comes in ...

What are you on the doorstep? Do not hesitate, go fuck it!

Today I am in good health.

How to distinguish a real law degree from a fake one when buying?

Eh, that was before the time! How do you remember! Fifteen minutes past one, for example.

We are not fish - fish are mute.

You don't sleep all day, you don't eat all night - of course, you get tired.

It all happened by accident, although it was planned.

I wanted to leave, but here they poured again.

Strange, today is Monday, but not at all happy.

Comrade in misfortune will not advise bad!

A new statue will be erected in Holland - a giggling boy peeing on a pissing boy.

There are no modest people. Some just have nothing to brag about.

The thought that someday I will have to stop doing bullshit is terrifying.

If a friend is in trouble, I'll circle the other with chalk.

Throughout his life, Pushkin teaches us that a talented person must first learn to shoot.

I didn't even have you in my mind.

Obeying a primitive instinct, like a real hunter, I caught, skinned, cooked and ate celery for dinner.

I am a rather secretive person. And it's not your dog's business why.

The computer does not obey the laws of physics. Only in it glitches arise from nothing, files disappear into nowhere, and the volume is measured in meters and is called weight.

Being is in vain, so you get mad.

95% of people are idiots. We work for the remaining 15%.

If you are happy for more than one day, it means that they are hiding something from you!

Angry with your neighbor? Buy his child a drum.

Never mind, take it in your mouth - it's easier to spit it out!

Have you lost the list of whom you need to fear? Remind you?

Life is a continuous struggle: from morning to lunch - with hunger, well, after lunch with sleep.

Your thoughts are so brilliant that the orderlies have already arrived!

Well, let's return to our sheep ... and lead the herd.

A century would look at you - through a telescopic sight.

Smart thoughts haunt me all the time, but I'm faster than them!

My body wants me to live healthy lifebut I'm not going to listen to the advice of an alcoholic.

I've had a rough day for the past six months.

And then we went to the registry office and informed the state that we were sleeping together ...

For the sake of hugs, I even agree to a preliminary bitch.

I'll give everything, but where can I get it?

It is better to give and take comfort than not to give and regret!

It's never too late to take a bath with a hairdryer.

I like tomatoes, but not enough to eat them.

Today pilaf is without meat. And no rice.

Three can only keep a secret if two of them are dead.

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words in order to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we resort to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful, the whole world smiles back at you.

Every day we hear a lot of short funny phrases, but not all stay on the ear, and even less are remembered. The origin of the funny phrase is forgotten, but the meaning remains, especially if the phrase is funny.

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and a smile, without humor and fun. We offer our selection of cool expressions and phrases for free, and let no one be left without a smile! Use every minute in your life!

Usually it is funny funny phrases that unite companies. Short funny phrases with meaning most fully reflect the good mood of people in society, have a positive effect on the worldview, and help determine a community of interests. And it doesn't matter at all whether new funny phrases about love are lines from a book, a chorus from a song, lines from a movie or a cartoon.

Short funny expressions and funny phrases will be appreciated by cheerful people with a good sense of humor. On our site, we decided to delight you with our cool phrases and expressions.

Short funny phrases will help cheer your friends

The main point of funny phrases is that they describe exciting moments in the lives of many people in a humorous form. Funny phrases about life will help to cheer friends during a friendly feast. Cool phrases and aphorisms can cheer you up in a difficult and difficult period.

There are many cool phrases and aphorisms. Funny phrases and sayings are excerpts that are taken from works of art, modern films or cartoons.

Most of the funny expressions about life are taken not from books, but from TV and the Internet. Many cool expressions and phrases are filled with meaning. The coolest expressions are various puns, or brought to the point of absurdity. Odessa humor is very multifaceted and many cool expressions become classics.

These cool expressions never get old and always remain relevant. For example, a lot of cool expressions are taken from lines of fiction. Many well-known cool expressions with meaning are taken from the classics of world cinema, which are so pleasant to remember for the older generation.

Free funny expressions and funny sayings

Funny funny expressions about love will help to amaze your companion or companion with wit. Funny words and expressions will also come in handy if you need to correct an awkward situation or oversight. The most relevant are funny statements and expressions in the company of friends.

Meet your friends, enjoy life with our cool aphorisms and expressions, and enjoy your thoughts and those of your friends.

There are many short funny phrases and expressions. But we have selected for you only the coolest, which in our opinion deserve the most attention. Our selection of the coolest phrases and expressions for people who like to have fun and make other people laugh. We invite you to read our free funny phrases and expressions to raise your mood.

Funny expressions and funny phrases to cheer up

People want a good life, but they are always happy with it.
Money is never as good as it is bad without it.
Found my place in life, but it's taken ...
If you did everything right, it doesn’t mean that you will be fine
Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night and they don't understand you.
The finance minister sincerely believed that money is not about happiness.
Study, study and study again, because you still won't find a job!
They lived happily ever after until they found out that others were living longer and happier.
Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and dying healthy is a pity.
Very often you learn about the best moments of your life from eyewitnesses.
They learn from mistakes, and after mistakes they are treated.
Army Canapés Recipe: Simply put a slice of bread on top of another slice of bread.
Money comes and goes and goes and goes ...
As soon as you find your soul mate, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
Not everyone who has entered the world manages to remain human.
I clicked with the mouse ...
Classics are the kind of literature that people prefer to praise rather than read.
When a person begins to consider himself wiser, he ceases to grow wiser.
When appointed to the position of a martyr, the applicant's consent is not required.
They don't believe in rheumatism and love until the first attack.
This world is strange, where two people look at the same thing, but see the exact opposite.
We would care less about what others think of us if we knew how little they think of us at all.
Only after knowing the black everyday life, you begin to appreciate the gray.
Do not impose your happiness on me, I have mine!
What would you wish for so that you would not be jealous later?
It's good that you are taken for their own. Too bad in the pigsty.
Sometimes you don’t want to be foolish at all, but would you refuse her?
An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician should remember that reincarnation is basically impossible.
Human rights end where the stronger person's rights begin.
In the life of a real programmer, there is only a place for two females: Asya and Klava. Well, not counting the mother.
I do not regret the past, I am sad about the future that died in it.
Do you want sweet dreams? - Sleep in the cake!
If you've been harnessed, then don't wait for the carrot.
What roof doesn't like driving fast?
Is a hero the one who tyrit the rich?
The quality of a miracle is easy to determine: even eyewitnesses do not believe in a real miracle.
When you start to delve into the essence of any sale, you remember that in Russian the words "discount" and "throw" are the same roots.
Previously, court jesters rang with bells, and now - with special signals.
If sports were as useful as we are told about it, then five Jews would hang on each horizontal bar.
If you see only good in everything, then nothing can be changed for the better.
All men are the same, only their salaries are different.
If a woman tries to maintain her virginity before marriage, she has many chances to keep it until she retires.
He knew how to do everything ... True, he didn’t succeed.
Everything would be fine, but this is nothing - too much.
Became a vegetarian - switched to grass ..
If they constantly laugh at you, it means that you bring joy to people.
Each person has exactly as much vanity as he lacks intelligence.
Much has changed in Russia in five years, almost nothing in two hundred years.
Attractive women are distracting.
Forecasters, like sappers, are wrong only once.
But every day.
What is May Day?
God, I'm a cow.
Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is a sneak.
Caught a mouse - eat slowly.
Smell under the arm - change the rug.
Are you flying in a dream? Sleep at home.
If it weren't for my legs, I wouldn't be here.
The top of freedom is round dances.
Don't dance, I'll get more.
If everything is beautiful in a person, it means that this is not our person!
Baldness is the process of replacing brushing with washing.
Today we drink dry wine! Pour in!
Ideal marriage: she plays the first violin, and he plays the drum (E. Kashcheev)
If money doesn't make you happy, then it's not yours.
In Russia, the people have not yet said their word, but it is already written on the fence ...
A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
Each pioneer must hand over 15 kg of waste paper to the state and two who have not.
Until he served he slept peacefully, he knew that they were guarding. During the service, he slept poorly, guarded. I don't sleep at all after the service ... I know who is guarding
It is indecent to appear at an organized drinking party in person, unorganized, drunk!
The slower the train goes, the wider the expanses of our Motherland.
Books have never emitted so much light as in the fires of the Inquisition.
If it were not for sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
Scientists have found that the most understandable language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
Small is large well nibbled.
Physics was canceled in Estonian schools so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
Be sure to write aphorisms - they will facilitate the work of your therapist ...
Our monastery asked the Holy Synod if it was possible to pray while smoking, and we were told - you can! Since then, our monks have been smoking during prayer ...
Man is a self-guided system.
Only until the end of the month! Everyone who buys a satellite dish gets a satellite spoon and a satellite plug as a gift!

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. Therefore, from time to time, each of us needs to move away from everyday worries, relax and have at least a little fun. Funny phrases and funny sayings are a sure wonderful way to quickly raise a good mood. Cool phrases and statuses are very popular because they describe the exciting moments of many people's lives in a humorous way. They will help you impress your interlocutors with wit, as well as amuse friends, colleagues, a bored company or guests at a holiday party. Funny expressions can also come in handy to “defuse” a tense situation or in awkward situations when you need to correct your mistake.
There are many great funny phrases and expressions. I tried to select the best, coolest "phrases" that, in my opinion, deserve the most attention. Read, and let no one be left without a smile!

My character, of course, is not sugar, but I was not created for this, to add me to tea!
If I ever die because of a man, it’s just laughing.
I am neither good nor bad. I am kind in an evil stripe!
I only have one life and I cannot afford to be unhappy!
I thought I was special, but it turned out to be the best ...
It's not enough to know your own worth - you still need to be in demand.
What is, you can't put it back !!!
So what if the wind is in my head, but my thoughts are always fresh ...
Where have you seen a cat that cares what the mice say about it?
If you spit in my back, then I am ahead of you!
Don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you where to go!
If you want me to be an angel - organize paradise for me!
My life my rules. If you don't like my rules, don't meddle in my life.
Not seen in vicious relationships ... Wasn't it? No ... Not noticed!
You need to live so that others have depression!
When will they learn how to conduct light into women's handbags ?! Really needed!!!
We are strong women: we will take out the trash, and the brain, if necessary!
Losing weight on three diets! (I am not full of two ...)
He eats - I cook, he wears - I wash, he scatters - I clean. And what would I do without him ...
Women's folk amusement: she thought it up herself, she was offended herself.
I am like champagne: I can be playful, or I can give it to my head ...
I really want to be a weak woman, but, as luck would have it, the horses are galloping, the huts are burning ...
Sometimes my husband shakes me ... After all, I am an amazing woman !!!
The girls are standing, standing on the sidelines, handkerchiefs in their hands fiddling with ... Because for ten girls, according to statistics: 1 blue, 4 alcoholics, 2 divorced, 2 drug addicts and 1 normal, but he is married ...
How is fake love different from real love? Fake: "I love the snowflakes in your hair!" Real: "Fool, why no hat?"
If a woman has a sparkle in her eyes, then the cockroaches in her head are celebrating something.
- How to drive a girl to madness?
- Give her a lot of money and close all the shops!
Men, let’s wash, clean, cook, iron…. And we want you!
So you want to snuggle up to someone, bring your lips to your ear and whisper ...: "Give me money!"
Sometimes I open the closet, look into it for a long time and realize that I keep two-thirds of my clothes in case I go crazy.
Classic women's wardrobe: Nothing to wear. There is nowhere to hang. It's a pity to throw it out ... And there is also a department "Suddenly I'll lose weight" ...
You have to smile so broadly that the problems stumble over the smile!
An optimist is a person who, even having fallen on his face in the mud, is sure that it is curative!
Girls, who there wanted to lose weight by the spring? .. Too late to rush, we will take charm!
This morning, while I was painting, I fainted 5 times from my beauty ...
I used to live alone and all my things were randomly scattered in their places, but now I am married and all things are neatly and beautifully lying in no one knows where ...
I want fate to take me by the hair and right in my face - in happiness, in happiness, in happiness.
A woman should be loved, happy, beautiful! And she owes nothing to anyone else !!!
The smartest plant is horseradish: he knows everything ...
Now I live only by this principle: whoever wants to - will come, whoever needs it - will call, whoever is bored will find it! And to whom - in figs, those - in figs!
All men are bastards! They all need only one thing! But why, why not from me-me-me ?!
I would send you, but I see you and so from there!
Women are not interested in rags only if these rags are men.
If you think life is great, then the antidepressants are right.
If there are nails on the feet, then hands should be on the hands, and animals generally have bast shoes!
There is nothing better in the world than to creak your bed until dawn!
Judging by the way life fucks me, I'm fucking sexy!
The robbers demand a wallet or a life, women - both.
Never do evil in spite! Nasty things should come from the heart!
The smarter a woman is, the more sophisticated and varied she makes the brain of her man!
Any dirty trick can be properly used, there would be a desire ...
Queens are never upset. When they are sad, they just execute someone ...
The weaker sex is stronger than the stronger due to the weakness of the stronger sex to the weaker.
Long live a split personality - the shortest path to peace of mind!
Spring is late for us, summer is late ... And autumn, you bastard, is punctual!
I'm a woman - I have evil as standard!
Do you want to be nice? - We remove the petroleum jelly!
I am a creative woman. I want - I create, I want - I get up ...
With a teaspoon in my pocket, with a bald cactus in my hand, I go to scare the old lady who lives in the attic, I will poke him with a spoon, I will order him to sit down on the cactus ... I’m a little foolish - I have a certificate! ..
Vasilisa was a wizard ... Waving her right sleeve - the lake ... Waving left - swans ... Waving another 200 grams - and hallucinations are more complicated ...
Happiness is when you have a doctor, cop, lawyer and killer among your friends. It becomes somehow easier to live right away ...
There are people like a drug - you know what you can't, but it pulls. And there are people like cake - sweet, tasty, but sick ...
I want, like a bear: to gorge myself in summer and hibernate in winter. And I lost weight, and slept, and did not see frost!
Grandfather Frost, for a whole year I behaved well ... and now can I beat someone ???
I caught a goldfish. She listened to me very carefully and said: "Heat!"
And they carry me away, and carry me away, three white horses, two red elephants, a penguin, a hippopotamus and a deer in a colored ringing crap.
That which does not kill us then regrets it very much.
I am the air. Don't try to hold back. Breathe while I let myself breathe ...
My beloved said to me: "You are evil in the flesh!" Well, I will. I’m very obedient. And if for some reason he needs it, then how can I pass by the request!
I am a very good cook ... I can add noodles ... Brew porridge ... Add oil ... In general - a clever wizard.
"I love you sweetheart!" - great status! And all the suns are pleased, and you will not sleep ...
- You must treat a girl carefully, like a Christmas tree.
- Cut it out and take it home?
- Strangers make comments to my child! How to react?
- Teach the child the magic spell: "Mom teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier." Pronounced with clear diction and confidently benevolent intonation, it acts similarly to the spell: "Petrify!" Moreover, it is more reliable. Although not for long. But also without dangerous side effects.
You begin to understand that everything is really bad when a person cries, who usually calms everyone ...
As my grandmother used to say, it's better to shoot, reload and shoot again than to shine a flashlight and ask "who is here?"
In any situation, say "everything is going according to plan" - you never know what a fucking plan you have.
Sometimes it becomes so cool that something that was once so important has become so important ...
And I will leave without noticing the insults.
Chewing chocolate candy.
And let the evil horse love you,
And not such a sun as me.
- Honey, is it true that I am the only one with you?
- What do you mean today, everything conspired, or what !?
A woman, like fire, cannot be left unattended. Or it will go out, or it will burn everything to hell !!!
Alcohol does not help to find the answer, it helps to forget the question….
Honey, you insist so much on our relationship with you ... I don't understand, you have nervous system reinforced concrete or a lifetime reservation in an insane asylum?
Sometimes you think: this is it, happiness! But no, f * ck, experience again ...
Here you drown a person, and it seems so sad, but then bubbles appear, so good, and the heart rejoices.
It is easy to understand female logic, it is enough to learn how to play billiards with cubes.
You need to find out the relationship only with those with whom you have this relationship. The rest - on figs on the shore of silence, to collect shells ...
Happiness is when the previous fuck is over and the next one hasn't started yet.
Cockroaches in the head are still normal. The problem is when a squirrel starts to drive them out ...
A black cat running across your path means that the animal is going somewhere. Don't complicate! ..
You need to return to the woman as quickly as possible. So quickly that she doesn't have time to understand that she's fine without you.
If you love, let it go. Will not return - track and kill.
There are many other people's nerves in the world - there is no need to wag your own!
I bought a crayon for cockroaches! Now in my head it is quiet and calm ... they sit, draw ...
You’ll send someone in the heat of the moment. But in your heart you are worried: did you get there? ... did not get there? ...
- Who are you?
- Kind fairy!
- Why with an ax?
- Yes, the mood is not very good ...
I got up on the wrong foot, sat on the wrong broom and flew in the wrong direction ...
Give me wings, otherwise the broom has splinters all over my ass!
In general, I love raspberry pies. They, of course, do not reciprocate, but they do not behave like bastards!
- What will you order?
- I, please, nerves, intelligence, calmness and * zma ... Yes, more * zma, please.
Don't be a miser - give the person a second chance. Don't be an idiot - never give a third.
Nerves in shock, brains in a trance, and logic generally went and shot itself.
If my mother taught me to be cultured, this does not mean that I will not kick in the eye, as my father taught me!
A realist is someone who doesn't care if a glass is half full or half empty. What's more important for him is what's in the glass.
Whatever the rake teaches, but the heart believes in miracles ...
It's amazing how some people enjoy romantic rake walks.
If you constantly step on the same rake, then this is a fucking rake!
Smile more often - and the thicket will smile at you!
Yes, I'm not an angel, but fly faster on a broomstick.
Everyone thinks that the dream of any girl is to find the perfect partner. No matter how it is! Our dream is to eat and not get better!
All women are angels, but if their wings are cut off, they begin to fly on a broomstick.
A man should be able to do two things: set fire to huts and scare horses so that his woman has something to do, and not take out his brains.
... and yet it is IMPORTANT that the butterflies in the stomach agree with the cockroaches in the head!
Yesterday, it seemed, I got a little wisdom ... Today I woke up - but no, I just plucked ...
I don’t promise to bring you to sin, but I do it ...
There is no need to offend me, I am a vulnerable girl, almost immediately into tears ... And then with tear-stained eyes it is so difficult to understand who I hit with a shovel ...
Such horrors were shown on the mirror this morning ...
I don’t drink flowers and sweets!
- Girl, why don't we know each other yet?
- God protects you, stupid creature ...
I am not overweight. I have it as a spare.
Woman philologist: bright multiple sarcasms on the very first date.
While men, as boys, play war games and cars, women, as girls, immediately prepare to manipulate people and play with dolls.
It is better to be loved by a mischievous person than unnecessary perfection.
Listen to the voice of reason ... Do you hear? Hear what the hell he's talking about ?!
In order for a woman to go to bed with a man, a feeling of closeness, trust and a strong bond is necessary. For a man - mainly - a place ...
Squirrels eat snow. What are you doing to end winter?
People who helped the spring and ate snow, why did you also gobble up the asphalt?
The glassblower accidentally sneezed at work and created a new vase for the Ikea store.
If things don't go the way you want them to - these are not yours, let them pass by.
Can't relieve stress? Do not wear !!!
It is wrong to say “the toad is choking”. It should be like this: "amphibiotropic asphyxia happened to me"
Macaque koala dipped in cocoa. Koala lapped cocoa lazily ...
Squirrels in gaiters in the depths of the tundra are tying cedar kernels. In the depths of the tundra, otters in gaiters poke cedar kernels in buckets! Having ripped out the gaiters from the otter in the tundra, wipe the otter cedar kernels, wipe the otter's face with the gaiter - the kernels in buckets, the otter in the tundra.
After washing leggings in the swamp, laying the kernels in buckets, otters with squirrels in an embrace quietly finish drinking a jar ... Finishing the moonshine, the otters danced a jig, the squirrels tried on leggings, muttering that they had seen a holiday in the tundra even worse.
I speak English with a dictionary, while I'm shy with people ...
Crawling under the table, do not forget to politely say goodbye to the guests.
A genius sleeps in each of us. And every day it gets stronger and stronger ...
I don't know what you are taking from your head, but it clearly does not help you!
Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt…
A beautiful woman pleases a man's eyes, an ugly woman pleases a woman's!
There are no perpetual motion machines in the world, but it is full of eternal brakes!
Take care of your homeland! Relax abroad!
I am constantly pursued by smart thoughts, but I find myself faster ...
Everyone is spoiled to the best of their ability.
If a gentleman says to a lady “I understand you perfectly,” he means “You speak twice as much as you need to”!
If you leave your husband right, he will definitely return ... like a boomerang.
If you want to bring a person to sclerosis, give him a loan.
Looking at how some accumulate good, others begin to accumulate evil.
There are so many interesting things in this life and so few people interested.
If you want to marry a smart, beautiful and rich woman, marry three times.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
If you cannot be a star in the sky, at least become a lamp in the house.
A man, if he could understand what a woman thinks, would still not believe.
The best way to organize a panic is to ask everyone to stay calm.
Everyone wants to have a good time, but you can't.
Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll tell you who you are.
What a pity you finally leave! ..
Lost conscience. I ask the finder not to worry and leave it to yourself.

As one humorist put it, you need to be able to laugh at yourself, and why not smile at the funny statements of other people. Laughter is important for human health and morale. It prolongs life, promotes a positive perception of events, and shows that you shouldn't be discouraged in any situation. Let's dive into a whole list of funny sayings that can come in handy for expanding your vocabulary.

Sometimes one short sentence can lift your spirits all day. A person often pronounces the funniest phrases without thinking. That's why they turn out to be unusually funny.

Here are ten phrases that can make you smile and think.

The son of an avid poker player cannot tell if his father loves him or not.
A small group of smart climbers walked around Mount Everest. - No wonder they say that a smart one does not walk uphill.
Recently my wife said: "We are not so close that I weigh myself in front of you!"
Wisdom does not always come with age, sometimes old age comes alone.

When a compliment doesn't make you happy: “Darling, there is no woman better than you! Yesterday I was convinced of this again! "
The modern world: There is no story more tragic in the world than the one about the cultivated Internet.
A little about education: a diploma allows you to make mistakes much more confidently.
An optimist is confident that he lives in the best of all worlds. The pessimist is afraid that this is true. - What does a realist do?

Born yourself - help someone else. - A very effective motto of China.
Do not be afraid to do what you don’t know how to do. The main thing to remember is that the ark was built by an amateur, while professionals built the Titanic.

Funny phrases from movies

A great way to cheer up is to watch a good movie. Let's remember funny moments from Soviet and other films.

Here I am walking beautifully down the street, and the men around and fall, and fall ... And they themselves stack up in stacks! (Film "Girls").

Champagne in the morning is drunk either by aristocrats or degenerates! ("The Diamond Arm").
If a woman asks for something, she must be given it. Otherwise, she will take it herself. ("The Man from Boulevard des Capucines").

Make a mysterious face, you fool! ("Dog's heart").
Well, citizens are alcoholics, hooligans, parasites ... Who wants to work today? ("Operation Y and Other Adventures of Shurik").

I have no time to care. You are attractive, I am damn attractive. Why waste time? I'm waiting at midnight. ("An ordinary miracle").
- How did you get into the Spanish monastery at all?
- I took him for a brothel. Easy to confuse. ("Pirates of the Caribbean").

You dream of playing as a striker, but you are used as a ball. ("Taxi")
- If I were your wife, I would have left too. - If you were my wife, I would hang myself! ("Ivan Vasilievich changes his profession").

- Who writes? - Anonymous. - God gave the name. ("Queen of the Gas Station").

Funny phrases to cheer up

The main thing is to maintain a positive attitude. Here are a few phrases that will come in handy at a time when the mood does not want to rise at all, people only upset, things fall, and the salary does not grow.

A little philosophy: The attitude towards others strongly depends on why they surrounded you.
We describe our condition correctly: Such a mood today is good, whatever you say in a fairy tale or formulate obscenities.
Who said that laziness cannot be combined with a rebellious spirit: I lie on the couch all day and nothing will stop me, because I have no brakes!

Always go towards your dream. Tired of going? Then crawl. No strength to crawl? Feel free to lie down and lie in the direction of your dreams.
Why did you decide that I am vindictive? I have a very bad memory, I have to write everything down.
It is believed that orange can improve mood. Tip: Scatter five thousandth bills all over the house. Great mood is guaranteed!
I came to work in a bad mood. Ruined it to everyone. I sit and smile.

When even a vacation in the garden is taken with humor: And wherever I just went. I didn’t go to the Maldives, I didn’t go to Cyprus, I didn’t even go to Greece. I think where not to go this year.
Everyone has a hobby. Someone collects stamps, someone models of ships. My husband has been assembling a wardrobe from Ikea for three years now.
Even if I fall face down in the mud, it will be curative.

Funny phrases for conversation

Let's expand our vocabulary with funny expressions.

I wanted to leave, but here they poured again. - There is always a reason to stay.
We do not need someone else, but we will definitely take ours, no matter who it is. - How to confuse the interlocutor.
I would have looked at you for ages - through an optical sight. - But sincerely and sincerely.
I don't know how it should be, but you're doing it wrong... - A very relevant phrase.
Being bitten by mosquitoes, he fell into the sin of foul language. - A witty explanation.
I'm not a brake - I just think smoothly. - Not a bad excuse
Why do I need a waist? I am married now. - Indeed.
Tell me, can I help you or not interfere?
If you have a conscience at night, try to sleep during the day.

Funny phrases for girls

Girl, help me. I bought pasta, but I can't imagine what to do with them (if I answered with advice, then it is added: "Is it possible, I will always consult with you?"
Girl, how much is your smile worth? I would love to buy one!
Do you want me to pump you with the breeze on the escalator?
You obviously don't like men. To be honest, me too.

What do you think a handsome man should say to a cute girl when meeting on the street so as not to be rejected?
I have amnesia - have I come up to you yet?
Can you tell me what time it is? My watch suddenly went in the opposite direction.
I collect signatures of the cutest girls. Could you put your own?
Pretends to pick up a bill from the floor. “Girl, is this yours? Not yours? It turns out I found it! Can we drink it together? "
The man walks past the girl, then turns abruptly and asks: "Didn't you just pinch me? .. No? .. It's a pity ..."

Funny catch phrases

Phrases, spoken exactly to the point, can help to get together, to cheer up even in the most exciting moment. Some words describe what is happening so vividly that you want to include them in your vocabulary and please people with the sharpness of your own expressions.

Phrases of cheerful actress Faina Ranevskaya:

"If the patient wants to live, then medicine is powerless"
"Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, and the alarm clock rings."
"Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it."

What are the performances of V.S. Chernomyrdin, who created new themes for parodists:

"We will live badly, but not for long."

Chaplin about women:

"A woman can make any man billionaire a millionaire."

Mikhail Zadornov about life:

“The most harmful thing is life. Everyone dies from her "
"They lived happily and for a long time until they met each other!"

Mark Twain on important matters:

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

From the film "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears"

"Sometimes you hear such nonsense, but it turns out - point of view"
"Don't teach me, better help me financially."

Funny phrases children

Children are spontaneous, open to everything new, they have a vivid imagination, which sometimes surprises adults. A small child and older children easily find a non-standard answer in any situation, and their philosophical thoughts make them not only smile, but also reflect.

How to ask for what you really want:

- Ma-a-am, I'm thirsty. Not milk ... and not tea ... Compote. Or juice. Better yet, a chocolate bar!

Children's friendship:

I ask my five-year-old son:
- Dima, do you have a friend Vova?
- Yes.
- Does he offend anyone in the kindergarten?
- Mom, we hurt together. We're best friends!

- Mom, can I go for a walk?
- With that hole in your pantyhose?
- No, with Svetka from the third floor.

Cunning:

- Mom, let's get a brother or sister. Dad won't even notice, he's always at work anyway.

Children need to be surprised:

My daughter "stuck" to the rattles in the store.
Mother says:
- Let's go to another department. Maybe there is something more interesting there.
The daughter replies:
- Okay, surprise me.

Of eGE compositions in social studies:

If you can't live in society, you just have to live with a girl.

When a child asks smart questions:

"Mom, why did you teach me to talk and walk, and now you make me sit in silence?"

Excerpts from essays on the Russian language and literature:

"He lived with the horse for twenty years ..."
“At first the geese swam smoothly, and then they began to make movements under the lambada. This is the last dance. "
“Today, marriages are like the union of a tick and a dog. But the situation is aggravated by the fact that usually there are two ticks and not a single dog in marriage. "

Funny short birthday phrases

Toasts are often made on birthday. Long toasts are not always audible, especially if they are too serious. Therefore, you can please guests with funny short toast wishes.

Let's drink to your coffin, dear friend. A coffin that will be made from a hundred-year-old oak that has not yet been planted.
In ancient times, well, or not very old. maybe it was a long time ago. Okay ... Lived ... or maybe lived ... Doesn't matter! Let's better drink to the birthday boy!
A little bit of arithmetic: dacha is "0", car and garage - "0", apartment - "0", money - "0", health - "1". Let's drink so that the life of our birthday person consists of one unit and then many, many zeros.
Nature in each of the people ascends either cereals or weeds. This toast is for watering the first and ripping out the second. Let's drink, friends, to the birthday man who managed to grow a beautiful garden in himself!
Dlet's drink to the hadron collider, and to the fact that in an hour no one can utter this word.
You don't have to run after a woman like a bus that has gone. Remember the next bus is coming from behind.
Let's drink to the buses running as often as possible!
The losing streak often turns out to be take-off.
For our joyful prospects on this runway!
Let's drink to you so that you have everything and nothing for you!
Dear friend, I wish you always have a light heart and heavy pockets!

Funny phrases wishes

I wish your whole life to be dirty and dark ...
Let the money be like mud, but it darkens with happiness in the eyes.
Buddy,
Remember, we will always come to your rescue ...
And the more revenue, the better!

I wish you have everything in this life: both the expected amenities and pleasant surprises!

Today is your birthday
So, you need to "break away" to your heart's content!
After all, you will have a whole year
To have time to recover a little!

You tell me - "hello!"
And I will say hello to you!
It's great that both of us are "with regards"!

I congratulate you, my "old club"! I wish you incredible fun, love without borders and health like a horse!

I want to wish you a very modest life. For a car without a roof, the wine is only old, and the cheese is moldy.

Congratulations! Live without enemies and without horns, have success and dreams without hindrance.

Friend, on your holiday I feel like a Bedouin in the desert who has not seen water ... So I want to drink!

Let's drink to the birthday girl, in whose honor such wonderful, cheerful, decent and humble people as we have gathered!

Funny phrases from cartoons

And now funny phrases from your favorite cartoon characters.

"Where it is flabby, there is tenderness!" (Kung Fu Panda)

Not a bad advice: "Never say:" I was wrong ", better say" Wow, how interesting it turned out! " (Ice Age)

- So where is that damn thing?
- Inside. Waiting for us to save her.
- No, I'm talking about a dragon (Shrek)

- As they say - leave your ass in the past!
- No, leave the past behind you! (Timon and Pumbaa)

"When depressurizing the cabin, put on an oxygen mask so that other passengers do not see the horror on your face ..." (Madagascar)

“You made me dress as a modest rabbit, and you chose a bright and beautiful suit for yourself. This is not comradely "(Kopatych from the cartoon" Smeshariki ")

“Well, who leaves the child alone at the rink? but if I crash and fall ”(Masha and the Bear).

- Mr. Krabs, but I had a dream!
- So what? And I had kidney stones. Time heals everything, my boy (SpongeBob).

“Who is here, for example, the extreme king? Nobody? So I'll be the first! " (Last year's snow was falling)

“The right company is a company where they will treat me with something and listen to my Grumpy with pleasure.” (Winnie the Pooh)

Odessa funny phrases

To learn to joke sparklingly when communicating and always find a witty answer to any question is a great art. Odessa humor is distinguished by its uniqueness and the fact that it is born just in the course of conversations. That is why it is so lively and varied. Consider humor in the dialogues of Odessa residents, who can incredibly quickly find original answers to any questions.

Self-irony:
- Faina, describe your appearance.
- You can get used to ...

- Syoma, do you love your wife?
- Sure! Why is she worse than others?
Main persistence:
- Sema, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk again?
Instruction in the toilet in one Jewish family: "Don't just sit there, think something."
Marriage:
- Do you agree to marry Faina?
- Do you have better options?
“God takes care of him,” thought the bride when he ran out of paste in his pen during the registration of the marriage.
My grandmother really liked Skype.
- No, you just look at what a useful thing! There would be some guests, but there was no need to feed them.

- Honey, you and I are married only the first day, and have already sang to quarrel ...
- So I have been waiting for this day for two years!
- Benya, I still promise you that in six years we will live better than in this Europe!
- Will this happen to them?

A bit of Odessa hospitality:
- Oh, dear, come back again! It's so good without you!

Funny phrases in pictures

Funny phrases to the guy

To please your beloved one, you can send him a funny message. Let's see what girls write to their husbands and grooms.

Honey, I don't know how to tell you this ... So, I did the test today ... and we are the perfect couple!
I want you and me to have more in common. Let's get a kitten!
Yesterday I accidentally caught a bridal bouquet. Is there something you want to tell me?
Dear, I'm late because I've been looking for my broom for a long time.
Do not be afraid of your desires, be afraid of mine!
You are an insidious lovebird, why did you break a couple? I just can't find the second sock.
Please help me find information! Look on the Internet how to tell your loved one that I scratched the car and still get a new phone for my birthday.
The horse was parked, the monster defeated and cooked it for dinner. I sit and wait for you, my prince!
Favourite! The girls and I decided to have a drink. I will definitely call. Don't pick up the phone.
Dear, I'm incredibly happy for you! You got married so well.

Funny phrases with meaning

Phrases that not only sound funny, but also conceal a certain meaning and truth in life.

Attention! On a slippery porch, the number of cultured people is cut in half!
A genius is fast asleep in me. But the fool never sleeps!
In order not to accidentally call his wife by the name of his mistress Anastasia, the husband took the cat and named Nastya.
Wife: Let's buy a car, I'll learn to drive, even though we'll see the light! Husband: which light is this or that?
Sappers do not understand the phrase: you have to learn from your mistakes.
Wife to husband: I'm not going to accept you as you are. I'm not a military enlistment office!
Why do I look great in the mirror, but the camera shows the opposite?
Money is not the main thing. The main thing is their number.
How to please a girl: you need to be strong, beautiful, rich or just a cat.
About the alcoholic feast: at first it was good, then even better, then so good that it is still bad!

Funny phrases with names

Funny phrases for girls

These phrases can not only make the girl smile, but also pin up. They should be used with caution.

Girl, you have very beautiful legs! One is more beautiful than the other.
I want to invite you to dinner and breakfast at the same time.
You are so beautiful that it is scary to look at!
Girl, do you believe in love with the first person you meet? I am ready to be him.
Can you help me go left? (A dangerous phrase when meeting).
In the bus:
I can't reach the handrail, I'll hold on to you.
In the elevator:
Girl, are you not afraid of being stuck in an elevator with a maniac like me?
You have a very predatory look, you must be hungry.
You are so beautiful that you don't need makeup. Leave it a little, though.
You believe in love at first sight. No? Perhaps I'll come back again.

Funny phrases to tears

Relevant for Internet correspondence:
Write a little louder, I can't hear it here.
Great people lived so little! So something is not good to me today.
For the sake of money, I'm ready for anything. Even go to work.
My wife is very good. Others are even worse.
So much has been written about the dangers of smoking that I firmly decided not to read any more.
Optimism is just a lack of information.
I tried to drown my problems in cognac, but they surfaced.
The girl decided to take revenge on the guy, and married him.
A first-grade student came to the New Year tree in a squirrel costume, which greatly frightened the security guard Mikhail.
The tale of the sleeping beauty once again shows that there is always a person who will wake you up.

Funny phrases in rhyme

Funny phrases about work

Even work should be taken with humor. Here are a few phrases that can cheer up colleagues in the middle of the work week.

I almost live at work. And the salary is only decreasing. Probably deducted for accommodation.

I love to work in a team. you can easily blame others.

Funny phrases about women

Finally, funny and wise expressions about the beautiful half of humanity.

If the girl suddenly fell silent, then she wants to say something.
You can't trust a woman who doesn't hide her weight. This one is not ashamed to say anything.
The smarter a woman is, the more stupid things she does.
A man chases after a woman until she catches him herself.
You can only interrupt a woman with impunity with a compliment.
If men knew what women were thinking, they would be more confident.
Real men always get what women want from them.
Women forgive their men, even if they are not guilty of anything.
Women still know how to keep secrets. However, they do it together.
A girl can tell her friend for several hours that she has no words.