It is impossible to find a person who would always tell the truth and nothing but the truth. After all, in life you can’t do without some kind of understatement or even outright lies, because they can be necessary. So it's a good idea to know some of the signs of liars. For example, where a person looks when he lies. After all, if you understand that a person is telling a lie, then this can change a lot.
The only thing you should definitely take into account is that the face when a person is lying cannot be unambiguous, so there is still room for some error in the conclusions.
How can you tell by the eyes that a person is lying?
In general, facial expressions are something that a person is not always able to completely control. Some people, of course, lie better than others because they have a certain amount of acting talent. But still, small facial cues can be incredibly difficult to control or hide. This is especially true for eye movements, which usually occur completely unconsciously.
The first thing you should pay attention to is the intensity of your gaze. When a person lies, he begins to think about which direction he is looking, because he is worried. That is why people who are not particularly good at lying try not to look at their interlocutor and constantly look away, that is, they are characterized by a running gaze. On the contrary, experienced liars will look intently into the eyes of their interlocutor, as if challenging him.
Also, when a person lies, he may involuntarily begin to blink more often. This happens on a subconscious level, as the person is ashamed and tries to hide his lie.
It is also worth paying attention to where exactly a person’s eyes look when he is lying. Movement of the eyes to the right and up indicates that a person is remembering events that actually happened, but if the gaze “goes” to the left and up, this means that he is fantasizing and constructing events in his head on the go, right now, that is, he is lying .
Our eyes usually follow our thoughts, and sometimes, just by looking into our eyes, other people can understand what we are thinking about. Would you agree that reading another person's thoughts through their eyes is a very useful skill? Thanks to this, everyone will be able to understand whether they are being deceived or determine whether your interlocutor is interested in what you are telling him about. Poker players master this useful skill perfectly.
Eyes to eyes
Such contact with the interlocutor indicates that he is very interested in talking with you. Prolonged eye contact may indicate that the person is scared and/or doesn't trust you. Brief eye contact means the person is anxious and/or not interested in talking to you. A complete absence eye contact indicates the complete indifference of your interlocutor to your conversation.
Man looking up
Eyes raised upward are a sign of contempt, sarcasm, or irritation directed at you. In most cases, such a “gesture” means a manifestation of condescension.
If a person looks at the upper right corner
He visually imagines the picture stored in memory. Ask someone to describe the appearance of a person, and your interlocutor will certainly raise his eyes up and look to the right.
If a person averts his eyes to the upper left corner
This indicates that he is clearly trying to imagine something. When we try to use our imagination to visually “draw” some picture, we raise our eyes up and look to the left.
If your interlocutor is looking to the right
This means that he is trying to remember something. Try asking someone to remember the melody of a song, and the person will definitely glance to the right.
Looking to the left, people make up sounds
When a person imagines a sound or composes a new melody, he looks to the left. Ask someone to imagine the sound of a car horn underwater, and they will certainly look to the left.
If your interlocutor lowers his eyes and looks to the right
This person conducts a so-called “internal” dialogue with himself. The person you're talking to may be thinking about something you said, or they may be thinking about what to tell you next.
If a person lowers his eyes down and looks to the left
He thinks about his impression of something. Ask your interlocutor how he feels on his birthday, and before answering you, the person will lower his eyes and look to the left.
Downcast eyes
We show that we do not feel very comfortable or even embarrassed. Often, if a person is shy or does not want to talk, he lowers his eyes. In Asian culture, not looking a person in the eye and looking down when talking is the norm.
These “rules” are generally followed by all of us. But left-handed people do the opposite: right-handed people look to the right, left-handed people look to the left, and vice versa.
How can you tell if someone is lying to you?
There is no absolutely correct algorithm by which you can determine whether your interlocutor is lying or not. The best option is to ask a basic question, such as “what color is your car?” If a person raises his eyes and looks to the right (or left, if he is left-handed), then he can be trusted. Thus, in the future you can understand whether you are being deceived or not.
For example, while telling you about something that happened in class, your friend looks to the right; When talking about his holidays, he constantly looks up and glances to the right. Most likely, everything he said is true. But when he tells you about the beautiful girl he met the other day, and his eyes are directed to the upper left corner, you can conclude that he is clearly “embellishing.”
Cold and passionate, languid and clear, oblique and point-blank, from under the brows and from above... Our views are one of the most expressive means communication. They are able to tell more than fiery speeches, and can even reveal hidden thoughts. The main thing is to look both ways and learn to correctly interpret the language of the eyes.
Look up to the left. We asked a provocative question, for example, “Why were you so late at work yesterday?” - and we carefully observed. If the sweet gaze quickly slid upward to the left (from the observer’s side), there is reason to be wary. This means that your loved one is now using the part of the brain that is responsible for creativity and imagination. Simply put, he is going to lie. In case the eyes have moved down right, the prognosis is rather favorable. He turns to his own memory, which means he will now tell how everything really happened. It can be difficult for an inexperienced person to catch this first involuntary eye movement, but, fortunately, this useful skill can be quickly trained through exercise.
Look eye to eye- the simplest and most well-known means of showing interest in your interlocutor and making it clear how pleasant he is to you. But don't be fooled. This method is so familiar to everyone that looking into the eyes has long become a gesture of politeness. The look of “all my attention” can be seen on a good salesperson or on a well-mannered neighbor. Just remember yourself: you look with wide eyes at your boss, practically catching his every word, but in your mind you’ve already flown to the Maldives a long time ago. Moreover, if someone’s gaze lingers on you for too long, well, let’s say, longer than 5 seconds, the interlocutor does this on purpose, wanting in his own interests to emphasize his interest in your person. After all, as you know, most sincere expressions change on our face much faster, this is how human facial expressions work.
It's a completely different matter when the interlocutor's pupils dilate. Pupils, unlike eyes, can be trusted because, no matter how much we want, we cannot control their changes. Dilated pupils always indicate revival and emotional upsurge. The reasons can be very different, but always positive: meeting a loved one, winning the lottery, an interesting offer. In this case, they also say “the eyes lit up,” few people closely watch the pupils, but the shine from the large black pupils is visible to the naked eye. Constricted pupils, on the contrary, betray aggression and anger. However, before you draw any conclusions, look to see if the lighting has changed - the apple of the eye reacts to light much faster than to the most powerful emotions.
Sliding glance. If you suddenly notice that a man’s eyes, during a business conversation, “tear off” from your beautiful eyes and go down to his lips, and then lower and lower, you should not be offended and shout “Where are you looking?!”, perhaps he didn’t do it on purpose, just He liked you very much... as a friend, of course.
The interlocutor averts his eyes- this signal does not bode well for us, and we almost always interpret it accurately, even if we know nothing about physiognomy. And what is unclear here? It’s as if they’re saying to us, “My eyes wouldn’t see you.” If you still want to figure out why exactly a person does not want to make contact, watch where he is looking. Moving the eyes down can mean either disagreement with you or sadness; down and to the side can mean guilt and shame. Well, if a person is always looking somewhere to the side and to the side, the reason is personal hostility, this look can speak of arrogance, contempt and even disgust; perhaps you shouldn’t even look at such an interlocutor yourself.
Our eyes usually follow our thoughts, and sometimes, just by looking into our eyes, other people can understand what we are thinking about. Would you agree that reading another person's thoughts through their eyes is a very useful skill? Thanks to this, everyone will be able to understand whether they are being deceived or determine whether your interlocutor is interested in what you are telling him about.
Professional poker players are fluent in this useful skill...
"Eyes to eyes". Such contact with the interlocutor indicates that he is very interested in talking with you. Prolonged eye contact may indicate that the person is scared and/or doesn't trust you. Brief eye contact means the person is anxious and/or not interested in talking to you. And the complete lack of eye contact indicates the complete indifference of your interlocutor to your conversation.
The man looks up. Eyes raised upward are a sign of contempt, sarcasm, or irritation directed at you. In most cases, such a “gesture” means a manifestation of condescension.
If a person looks at the upper right corner, he visually imagines the picture stored in memory. Ask someone to describe the appearance of a person, and your interlocutor will certainly raise his eyes up and look to the right.
If a person averts his eyes to the upper left corner, this indicates that he is visually trying to imagine something. When we try to use our imagination to visually “draw” some picture, we raise our eyes up and look to the left.
If your interlocutor is looking to the right, it means that he is trying to remember something. Try asking someone to remember the melody of a song, and the person will definitely glance to the right.
Looking to the left, people come up with sounds. When a person imagines a sound or composes a new melody, he looks to the left. Ask someone to imagine the sound of a car horn underwater, and they will certainly look to the left.
If your interlocutor lowers his eyes and looks to the right, this person is conducting a so-called “internal” dialogue with himself. The person you're talking to may be thinking about something you said, or they may be thinking about what to tell you next.
If a person lowers his eyes down and looks to the left, he is thinking about his impression of something. Ask your interlocutor how he feels on his birthday, and before answering you, the person will lower his eyes and look to the left.
By lowering our eyes, we show that we do not feel very comfortable or even embarrassed. Often, if a person is shy or does not want to talk, he lowers his eyes. In Asian culture, not looking a person in the eye and looking down when talking is the norm.
These "rules" are generally followed by all of us. But left-handed people do the opposite: right-handed people look to the right, left-handed people look to the left, and vice versa.
How can you tell if someone is lying to you?
There is no absolutely correct algorithm by which you can determine whether your interlocutor is lying or not. The best option is to ask a basic question, such as “what color is your car?” If a person raises his eyes and looks to the right (or left, if he is left-handed), then he can be trusted. Thus, in the future you can understand whether you are being deceived or not.
For example, while telling you about something that happened in class, your friend looks to the right; When talking about his holidays, he constantly looks up and glances to the right. Most likely, everything he said is true. But when he tells you about the beautiful girl he met the other day, and his eyes are directed to the upper left corner, you can conclude that he is clearly "embellishing."
By learning to control his gaze, a person can force others to trust him unconditionally. (How can you lie while looking a person straight in the eye?)
We, of course, know that the people around us are all very, very different. Poor and rich, happy and not so happy... And a lot of other gradations... From the point of view of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), people differ in their type of thinking.
Each of us thinks using different images. As we noted above, images (experiences) are divided into five categories - visual, auditory, and kinesthetic images (sensations, smells and taste). And also on various combinations of these images. As an example, remember your last call At school. What comes to your mind? Dressed classmates on the line in front of school or perhaps the melody of a school waltz? People use all types of images, but they give the greatest preference to one. Let us note that many are not even aware of their mental activity - it lies outside their consciousness.
There is a certain relationship between the type of mental activity and the position of the interlocutor’s eyes (this is why it is so important to look into a person’s eyes when talking).
Looking up and to the right means that at the moment your interlocutor is creating a visual image. A defocused gaze also indicates visual thinking.
If the other person is looking left or right this indicates the creation of a sound image. Such a person hears and discusses his thoughts by talking to himself.
A person's gaze to the left and down should alert you. If your interlocutor is not lying, then he certainly subconsciously controls very well what he is talking about.
Well, the last type of thinking- thinking with kinesthetic images is characterized by looking down and to the right. If you notice such a look from your interlocutor, then it is likely that at this very moment he remembers bodily sensations, such as pain, fear, cold, and remembers various smells or tastes.
It's clear, that not every glance expresses inner mental activity. People can just stare at their feet or count their money. For us, the most important thing is to determine exactly the look that indicates the formation of one or another image in the human mind.
So, a look can indicate exactly what images a person is thinking at the moment. Now for some practice. Try to find among your friends a person who often looks up and to the right when talking. This person literally describes to you the pictures that appear in his memory. Usually such people have phrases such as:
I looked at everything here and thought
If you look at it from the other side
I see something more
In order to somehow influence the interlocutor you need to “speak its language,” in other words, think not only in its categories, but also in its images. (Everything seems so obvious, but notice how rarely we use this in our daily lives).
Hence, if we want to influence an interlocutor who uses mainly visual images, we must use the following phrases:
You can look at this from the other side...
Let's not lose sight...
Just imagine…
Similar phrases can be selected for other types of interlocutors.
For auditory images it will be:
Listen...
Just listen to how it sounds...
Sounds tempting...
For kinesthetic learners:
Feel it...
Let's touch on the topic...
Now it's time to learn some special terms. The fact is that when reading more in-depth books on NLP, they are used without any explanation. Occasionally I will make such “near-scientific” inserts for your subsequent deep understanding of the specific aspects of NLP. So, the division of people according to the type of reproduction of internal experience (visual, auditory and kinetic) is called division according to the modality of internal experience.
Any visual reproduction (eyes up and to the right)– visual modality.
Auditory imagery (eyes left and right)– auditory modality.
Feel– kinesthetic modality
Note that that most competent bosses and informal leaders are visual people. Visually it is much easier to control the present and predict the future.
People, whose main job is communication (for example, salespeople) are mostly auditory. A person of this type distinguishes the slightest changes in intonation in the interlocutor’s voice, which in most cases can tell much more about a person than words.
Well, and, in fact, kinesthetics. Kinesthetic people have very developed intuition, so they are great at deciding various problems V various fields life. They say that kinesthetics are excellent lovers - after all, they are the ones who know how to listen not only to the sensations of their own body, but also to the sensations of their partner’s body.