How not to be suspicious and beat yourself up. How to get rid of unnecessary thoughts and feelings. Prevention of eliminating negative thoughts

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and simply worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically this is related to the properties of our nervous system, but psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
you are susceptible bad habits:, alcohol, because you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
IN Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn't pull myself together stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of his sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges, “panic attacks,” dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

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Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what awaits you ahead an important event, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. With regular practice, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your current state. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle of feedback, not only how you feel determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine how you feel. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Are you tying your left big toe and little toe into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It's an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. There is no need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make one if you do everything right and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought so much had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of health-supporting measures (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.

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How not to think about bad things and not to stress yourself out if you are overcome by negative thoughts every day. Managing your thinking, forcing yourself to think positively is a difficult process that involves daily practice to master the skill of changing your mind and consciousness. Undoubtedly, this requires mental discipline, but by working on your thinking, you can really achieve what you want. Often the question arises before an individual: how to learn to live without thinking about the bad? Psychologists suggest thinking about this for a minute and realizing that far-fetched experiences, even justified and clearly reasoned, bring great harm. It is possible that the negative event will never happen, and the person is needlessly exhausting himself with negative thinking and cannot calm down, not ceasing to think about the bad. So what's the point of tormenting yourself with bad thoughts?

How to learn not to think about bad things?

Any (negative or positive) consciously launched thought, repeated over a period of time sufficient quantity times, can turn into a program. Understanding this, a person can force himself not to think about bad things. Because, for example, if for many years a person has been thinking about the idea that he will always live in poverty, then in this way he creates a program in himself, for the implementation of which he does not even need to think about it. Each person is capable of building his future consciously only through the course of his thinking. By working on positive thoughts and forming new patterns in oneself, a person can develop a subconscious program for success. Realizing this, each person is able to help himself, and thus learn not to think about the bad.

And in order to accomplish this faster, a person should imagine that at the moment of his thoughts he is spreading vibrations of the finest etheric substance around him. The human eye is unable to see thoughts just like gas. Thought is a subtle configuration of matter. Negative thoughts would become dark in color and look like thunderclouds. Happy, clear, positive thoughts would be colored in light colors and would be close to light, gaseous clouds. When an individual spreads bad thoughts around, he becomes an object for their influence. Annoying or fearful thoughts attract similar thoughts to themselves, uniting with them into a powerful conglomerate. As a result, a negatively inclined person will suffer not only because of his own bad thoughts, but because of the negative thoughts of others, which will only worsen the condition.

The longer an individual thinks along these lines, the more difficult his internal state and position will be. A person who is in a positive mood and has happy thoughts will attract similar thoughts and will feel happier and more joyful.

And yet, how else can you convince yourself not to think about bad things if negative thoughts constantly creep into your head? Helps you get rid of disturbing thoughts internal dialogue, in which the individual must ask himself, what exactly is he afraid of? Often associated with career loss, illness or accident. Most fears are not related to the real state of things. What is the point of being afraid of losing your career right now if you are a highly qualified specialist. Why worry about getting sick if you are healthy? And why should an accident happen to you if you are careful and attentive?

Of course, there is a percentage of unpredictability, and no one can guarantee that everything will always be good. But is it worth wasting your life to live in constant fear, experiences and. As they say, what can happen cannot be avoided, and most of the problems invented by man can be solved, and what cannot be solved must be let go and not worry about it.

Below are practical and effective tips on how to stop thinking about the bad and think about the good:

– a person should always think about the present. Pessimistic thoughts are often associated with the past or future. People often think about missed opportunities and what would have happened if they had done things differently. Constantly returning to the past makes a person unhappy and indecisive. And thoughts about the future and fears associated with this make a person worry. You should live in the present, think about today, without thinking ahead or regretting the past;

– you cannot keep everything to yourself, since internal unrest inevitably leads to deterioration of health, so it is worth sharing your experiences with loved ones without withdrawing into yourself;

– there is no need to accept negative information coming from outside world close to heart. Of course, stories about your friends’ problems will make you worry about them, but you shouldn’t take other people’s problems to heart, much less let them into your own soul. Worries won’t help your friends, but they can easily ruin your mood;

– you should develop self-confidence and find in yourself what makes a person unique, inimitable and irreplaceable. It is important to feel your importance and bad thoughts will go away by themselves;

– you need to learn to look for positive aspects in any negative situation and thus change your attitude towards it, for example, to perceive parting with a loved one as something necessary, since it was no longer on the way with your partner, and be sure to voice to yourself the reasons why you parted. Having realized your choice, you should come to terms with it, because a person has the opportunity to meet a more worthy partner in the future;

– it is important to analyze your thoughts and why they come. It often happens that bad thoughts come out of habit, regardless of whether the problem exists or has long been resolved;

– it has been established that bad thoughts visit a person during a period of doing nothing, and if a person is not busy with something necessary and important, it is then that various phobias begin to creep into the head;

– Volunteering helps to take your mind off bad thoughts. There are a lot of people who need help and at the same time do not lose interest in life and strength of spirit. Orphans and disabled people, lonely elderly people - they all have difficult problems in life, but somehow they cope with them, without ceasing to enjoy the simple things in life. By helping a neighbor, a person can feel joy that he has done something useful;

– you should set a goal for yourself, thinking about what you most want to achieve in life and act in this direction in small steps;

– Listening to your favorite music helps you to unwind and relax. Listening to what makes a person feel inspired will help avoid painful problems and distract from bad thoughts;

– instead of thinking about how to relax and not think about the bad, you should enjoy the little things and be grateful to fate for every day you live. After all, a person’s life consists of little things, so it’s important to learn to see them and enjoy every little thing;

– physical activity will allow each person not to think about the bad, so simple physical exercises, jogging in the morning, walking should not be underestimated. Working on your body will definitely allow you to put your thoughts in order;

– a person should notice the good, not the bad, for example, not focus on his fatigue, but fix his attention on what was achieved during the day and then the day will be remembered as successful;

– meeting old friends and making new acquaintances, communication will also allow you to escape from bad thoughts;

– by trying to avoid pessimistic people, you can focus on pleasant events and thoughts. Often, depressed people drag themselves along with their negative thinking, so it would be better to exclude contacts with such people. But bright and positive personalities will allow you to calm down and not think about the bad.

– the main thing to remember is that everything in this life passes and life is not endless, so maybe you shouldn’t torment yourself with thoughts, how not to think about the bad, and direct your thinking in a positive direction.

Psychologists explain the occurrence of negative thoughts in a person’s life by manifestation. Bad thoughts are absolutely normal and natural, so you should just wait out unpleasant moments in life and not dwell on them.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

Thoughts are material! And when we think about bad things, we reinforce the bad things in our lives. The law of attraction applies here. What we replay in our minds comes to fruition. Therefore, it is important to learn to keep in your mind right thoughts who will program a positive future.

How to do it? It is important to monitor your thoughts and find replacements for them. For example, during the day you often catch yourself thinking that you are a loser. And this spoils your mood and blocks your actions.

Then the pill for this negative thought program will be the thought that you are a winner, that you respect yourself for this! Whenever you catch yourself thinking about bad things, switch to your new good beliefs! And this will help you change your thinking in a good direction.

What to do to avoid thinking about bad things

Here are some more ideas:

1.When you are overwhelmed by negativity, sit down and start writing it down on paper. Write down everything that worries you. Do this until the bad thoughts exhaust themselves. Then tear the leaf. And on the new one, start writing down good thoughts, create good scripts.

2. Learning to stop the internal dialogue. For this you can use, for example. And after 20 minutes of this practice, feel free to program your mind with new positive ideas.

3. Switch to gratitude. Start saying or writing down all the good things you are grateful for. This will help change the wave and tune in to good vibrations.

4. If you are surrounded negative people, get away from them. It is often difficult to disengage from everyone and not absorb the worst. So get away from the negativity. Take a walk. One hour of walking is a great cure for negative thoughts!

5. Exercise. They help you stop thinking about bad things.

Is there a negative voice inside your head that is stopping you from living? He criticizes, whines, complains and undermines self-confidence. He says that again nothing will work out. The voice requires you to be more modest, not to take risks and not to try anything that could change your life. A negative voice scares you with different things that will never even happen. You will never get rid of your inner critic, but you can harness it and use it to your advantage.

How to stop thinking about bad things and realize yourself?

1. Misperception of mistakes

When troubles happen, problems and difficulties arise, we lose heart. When someone lets us down, betrays us, or strikes us, we find ourselves in a stupor. We don't understand why everything happened this way. We begin to get angry and replay everything in our heads over and over again. We think about mistakes, revenge, complain and beat ourselves up. So we spend a lot of time and energy obsessing over troubles. We don’t think about how to solve them, but think about the misfortunes.

Time and opportunities are running out while we are mired in negative thinking. This is a misperception of mistakes. Mistakes should not make you depressed. They should teach new things, help find new ways and encourage them to overcome difficulties.

2. Seeking justice instead of swaying power

It's high time to come to terms with the fact that the world is unfair. It is impossible to have control over the entire world in order to establish orders according to your opinion of justice. Danila Bagrov, in the film “Brother 2,” argued: “Whoever has the truth is stronger!” But that's not true. Stop running around and demand truth and justice. Who is stronger is right. This means you need to become stronger, and not complain about the injustice of the world.

3. You choose how to respond to problems.

When you spill coffee on your pants, it's an accidental nuisance. You can quickly change your pants and go to work, forgetting this minor morning nuisance. But you can only make things worse for yourself all day long. You can yell at your friend who made you coffee. You can worry all day about your slowness. You might quarrel with your colleagues because bad mood and morning. But you choose how to react.

All our troubles are only 20% of the case. The remaining 80% of troubles are our reaction to what is happening. You choose how to react to all your problems.

4. Change yourself before taking to new heights

We decide to start working better, get back on our feet, change jobs, start our own business, or improve our personal lives. But we make one important mistake, and then we suffer. We do not change ourselves when we want to achieve a new goal. As a result, the “old you” cannot win, unlike the “new you.” We become depressed and start thinking negatively.

New job requires ownership foreign language? Does the new position require new knowledge? Do beautiful girls fall for athletic guys who are tongue-tied? To reach new heights you need to become better. Change yourself first, then try something more. If you can't do it, then you're too weak and not ready for it. Upgrade your skills.

Stop thinking about the bad, loading yourself with negative thoughts and take a step forward. Realize yourself to the fullest. Unleash your potential.

Sometimes we just get caught up. On various aspects of life. Our decisions, regrets, feelings self-esteem, worries about the future - we get stuck in our own heads so often that sometimes we feel: there is no way out. We tell you how to stop splitting hairs and start moving on.

Why do we obsess?

When we talk about overthinking something, we are talking about several things. On the one hand, long deliberation is when we find ourselves in a kind of loop, replaying the same event in our heads over and over again.

You analyze what happened, regret what you did or didn’t do, worry about the consequences, etc.

On the other hand, you can similarly consider decisions rather than actions. You analyze your decisions to the point of exhaustion, and one day you may reach the point where you cannot make any decisions at all.

In any case, we become wise when we become fixated on something and cannot think about anything else. This deprives you of strength, mood, energy, and the will to do things. And the ultimate goal is: somehow get out of this “thought loop” and move on.

1. Act now

If you are fixated on something - the best thing you can do is take action. This does not mean that you should suddenly jump up and run to do something, it just means that you need to take a step forward.

Let's say you are planning to move to another city. You can't do it immediately, so you sit there, going over the details of the move over and over again in your head.

And this is where it matters. For example, make a list of where you want to go after you move. Research housing prices in that city, find out what jobs are available there, and so on. Create a financial plan and set goals. Make a schedule.

It doesn't matter what you do, you just have to step away from the thought you're stuck on. Creating all these plans and comparing them further can help you make your final decision.

Actually, moving is a simplified example, but it works great in all situations related to your future. In any similar situation, you can start drawing up an action plan - and feel better. Bob Miglani, a Huffington Post contributor, summed up the idea this way:

Bob Miglani / © www.indiaconferenceatharvard.com
“The only thing that helps rid the mind of fixation is turning your anxious thoughts about the future into some kind of effort and work. Take action, do something, and these actions can create a miracle.

Whenever I start to worry about the future, I just get up, go to my computer and start writing something or working on my book. And if suddenly it happened during the day, in the office, then I start writing down ideas on how to make my work more productive, or how to start working on something really interesting.

No matter what task you choose, it should be challenging so that focusing on the task gives your brain enough impetus to break the vicious circle of obsessiveness.”

It follows from this that getting busy is the main cure for overthinking. We tend to be wise because we are afraid of failure, but as soon as we get down to business, fears and doubts dissipate by themselves.

2. Shift your attention to something else

Sometimes, for some reason, you cannot begin to act, and then the only measure to get rid of the “obsession” is to distract the mind. Find yourself a hobby or some other activity that will completely occupy your mind. This will allow you to forget about your “thought loop” for a while, and eventually it will disappear.

Some people at such moments simply go for a walk. Writer Haruki Murakami in one of his books describes this feeling as “emptiness,” and he uses running as a cure for it:

“I'm just running. I'm running into the void. Or maybe I should put it another way: I run to find emptiness. But as you might expect, sometimes thoughts flash in this emptiness. A person's mind cannot be completely empty. Human emotions are not strong or consistent enough to withstand a vacuum. What I mean is that all kinds of thoughts and ideas that invade my emotions while I am running remain dependent on emptiness. They are just random thoughts without content, gathered around a void at the center.”

Of course, exercise is not the only way to distract yourself. For some, meditation is a great way to calm an overloaded brain. Completely ordinary things can help cope with anxiety, such as listening to music or any other activity that can distract the mind from anxious thoughts.

3. Stop talking about it

Most of us, when faced with a difficult decision and obsessing over it, ask others for advice, which is completely natural. But in practice this often means that we talk about our problem with so many people that in the end we just can’t help but become fixated. As stated earlier, too a large number of“cooks in the kitchen” only leads to a worsening of the decision-making process. Psychology today can explain what happens in our brain:

“The human mind hates uncertainty. Uncertainty implies volatility, randomness and danger. When we notice a lack of information, the brain raises a metaphorical red flag and says, “Pay attention!” This could be important...” When data is missing, we tend to overestimate its value. Our mind assumes that if we spend resources searching for this information, we will solve the problem.”

We all want to receive useful information from others, but at a certain point this information ceases to be useful. When we have a limited amount of information, we can look at it more productively. Psychologists call it "strategy to take the best":

“The “take the best” strategy means that you reason only as much as necessary. Then you stop and do something else. For example, if there are ten pieces of information you need to make an informed decision, but one of those pieces is obviously more important than the others, then that piece will be enough for you to make a choice. Too much detail complicates things and wastes time.”

4. Find out why you're obsessing.

Sometimes we obsess over something just because we can. We get caught in a cycle in which we recreate an event over and over again or try to analyze an idea from every possible angle. After many hours of thinking and sleepless nights, we eventually reach a dead end.

Psychologists say that although our brain is programmed for such “looping”, something can still be done about it.

Here is their definition of the problem:

"Is this anxiety due to social interactions, whether it be our self-esteem, our future, our families, or anything else, the cycle it causes is always debilitating and rarely produces beneficial results. Most often, we simply spend time thinking intensely about events, about our actions, about the actions of other people, or about their thoughts. We repeatedly try to predict all potential future outcomes, even though most of these scenarios will never come to pass.

The biggest problem here, and the one we constantly remind people of, is that you are not your brain. We often take the fleeting thoughts, urges, emotional impulses and desires our brains create at face value, and assume from the start that they must all be true.”

To summarize: here is the plan from four steps on getting out of a loop:

Decide with what exactly causes the “looping” (self-doubt, anxiety, etc.);
Reconsider your experience and identify thinking errors;
Switch attention to the part that matters most;
Swipe re-evaluating your brain's messages based on new information.

By going through these four steps, you can better understand how often our brain has no idea what it is doing. By stepping back a little, you can figure out which idea is causing the loop, close the loop, and be able to move on.

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