Perhaps everyone is familiar with the situation when, having arrived at a new job, they find themselves in a close-knit team in which you feel a little (or even very much) a stranger. Sometimes this is due to the fact that people have known each other for a long time and the newcomer violates the established comfort with his very presence, or simply rejection, perhaps due to the fact that the new employee did not have time to gain authority in the new place. What to do in such a situation? Should you be particularly active?
How to gain authority in a team?
Even true professionals in their field, if they move to a new place of work, are concerned with the question of how to win the respect of their colleagues and at the same time not create an army of enemies and envious people. Therefore, it is very important to have an individual approach to each colleague and to understand that the team as a whole always has its own unspoken charter, its own rules of behavior that are important to learn as quickly as possible.
How to do it? Yes, it’s very simple, try to unobtrusively ask your colleagues questions in a conversation, this way you will get to know them better, and you will also discover facts about your new place of work, local traditions and relationships. From the very beginning, try to remember the first and last names of your colleagues so that you don’t have to ask again. We talked about this in previous articles.
And of course, the main thing you need to do, or rather, not do at first, is not to get into arguments with anyone if you want to win the respect of your colleagues. The first impression is the most important. In the future, you can smooth it out somewhat, but not change it. Therefore, first try to prove yourself to be the life of the party, smile, be polite and courteous. I think you have before your eyes examples of people whom you see and you feel good and pleased. And there are other characters you want to stay away from. This clear example how you might appear in someone's eyes. Don't forget this.
A successful job is when you come there in the morning and no one annoys you.
Find a leader
Rules of behavior in a team
When you learn about the rules of behavior that have already been established in the team, you should strictly adhere to them, even if you don’t like them. You see, this is the whole point - to overcome yourself. People are initially closed in their shell of comfort, and in order to penetrate it, you must show that their contrived comfort is not threatened. That you are not only “not against”, but even “for” maintaining their comfort. So don't criticize anything you don't like. On the contrary, support. “Should I go after work, when everyone is tired, to sit somewhere? Of course I'm for it! “Chip in for the birthday of someone I haven’t even met? No problem!"
As for the questions that colleagues will have regarding your personality, you should answer politely and very thoughtfully. What does it mean? And the fact that they may ask you about politics, but you don’t know who the people gathered in the department support. Or talk about meat, despite the fact that someone here is an ardent vegetarian, and therefore, without knowing this, you don’t need to call all vegetarians crazy, otherwise you will immediately make enemies for yourself. Answer exactly as much as they want to know from you; there is no need to talk about things that were not asked. Always be correct, leave yourself an escape route, this will help you get around sharp corners.
Sharing time with the team
In continuation of what has been said, it is worth separately emphasizing the importance of spending time together with colleagues. You will be perceived as one of their own if something good and pleasant is associated with you. Relaxation, and also fun, is what you need. So if the department suddenly wants to go somewhere else, you should jump at the opportunity, even if you were planning on doing something else.
Individual approach
Don't forget that all people are different and everyone reacts to the situation according to their own logic, which may be far from your ideas about life. This is neither good nor bad, it's just a factor to consider. When communicating with colleagues, remember what people like and what they don’t, try to adapt to their whims. At least for starters. But when you enter the circle of “your own”, then you can allow yourself some liberties.
Woman in a male team
Now let's talk about how a woman can adapt to a male team, how to behave and make men take herself seriously. Firstly, initially a woman should relax internally, if only because it is easier to work with men. They rarely gossip, do not intrigue, and generally have a simpler approach to life.
And then it is important to replace your typically feminine behavior with masculine behavior. What does it mean? Let me give you an example: in the men’s campaign, it’s common to make vulgar jokes. And not because all men think only about one thing, but simply because men consider this kind of humor funny, and everyone likes to laugh. If the joke amused you, feel free to join in and laugh, and if you didn’t like it, don’t start a moralizing lecture about how such jokes are inappropriate. Just smile and keep working. This is how a woman in a male team can feel like she belongs.
The most important thing is to learn to understand men, which is actually not that difficult and is essentially a matter of habit. Masculine humor and freer behavior will become a normal atmosphere to which it is important to adapt and not interfere with colleagues to express themselves the way they like. A little tolerance and understanding on your part will make it easy to join the male team. And then everything will depend on your professionalism, which will allow you to gain authority.
A man in a women's group
But here the case is somewhat more complicated, because communicating with one woman alone is quite ordinary situation, but when a man ends up in a women’s team, where he simply has nothing to talk about with his colleagues, this, of course, is torture. Especially modern women quite often they are feminists of some kind (aren’t they?). This means that conversations of this kind, diluted with discussions of lipstick and Lenochka’s skirt from the accounting department, will become commonplace for you, which you need to endure. No other way. But unlike the previous case, women want to see a man in you. You don't need to start gossiping with them, but on the contrary, you should behave like a man, while being responsive and polite. In fact, this is the main thing that a man in a women's team should know.
The authority of the leader in the team
There is often a situation when new management comes to an established team. And if this boss is you, then you will probably be interested in learning how to gain authority among new colleagues.
The secret here lies in two things:
- Balance between rigor and understanding.
- You need to be a leader.
Both points equally decide how your subordinates will treat you. Now more about each of them. The balance between the “evil cop and the good cop” will help you put yourself on the right track from the very beginning. If you initially allow yourself to be bullied, then it will be extremely difficult to change such an attitude. Therefore, let us immediately understand who is in charge here. But you don’t need to boast about your power, otherwise you will be hated in the blink of an eye. And no one can go against the team. Alternate your exactingness with a friendly, individual approach to each employee. Be careful and fair, for Good work praise. Don't forget that praise motivates you to work even more than criticism. Such a balance is the most correct approach, which increases the authority of the leader in the team.
Now regarding leadership. If you want respect from your employees, you have to work harder than them. Not with instructions, but with your example to push everyone forward. Be the first to arrive at work, the last to leave. Understand that in the minds of every person there is a desire to justify himself. This works best when the boss does nothing himself, but criticizes at the same time. And if you do, and even more than everyone else, then you are perceived as a leader, not an exploiter :)
How to control yourself and enjoy communicating with colleagues?
It is also important to talk about the situation of mutual hostility. It happens everywhere and needs to be dealt with. But how? You see a person, his views do not suit you, just as the person himself does not have particularly warm feelings for you. All this results in quarrels, banter or barbs. And on top of everything, you try not to show it, because you have to work in this team, which is exhausting day after day.
But the recipe here is very simple - be grateful to such circumstances. I understand that someone is now choking on their tea after reading such advice, and someone is twirling their finger at their temple, however, let’s take a closer look. Any circumstance that deprives you of peace is essentially a challenge that requires tension from you. Tension, in turn, promotes development. You train your patience, your wits, even your acting skills, if you like. Think of it as a game, and the next time you meet at work, your colleague will turn from an enemy into just an object, a mannequin on which you practice.
The second tip is to be positive. Most of your inner anxiety is invented by you. If instead of worrying you start thinking about good sides colleagues and the situation in general (as in the first tip), you will notice that you will immediately feel better. And most importantly, don’t let anyone lower your self-esteem. If they try to offend you, then most often it is envy. And they envy you when you are considered better. Don't forget this.
Well, we have uncovered a very difficult topic and figured out how to fit into new team and gain authority. And do not take this test as something serious, let everything be a game, then your soul will become easy. Good luck!
Instructions
Remember that first you work for authority, and then authority works for you. So tune in and be prepared to work hard for a while. Even if it seems to you that a good position does not shine in you, do not even think about giving up - everything can change at any moment.
Work on your authority from the first second you join the team. Nobody has yet canceled the rule of the first. When meeting someone, be welcoming, friendly, clearly state your name and find out the names of the people around you. Try to remember them by repeating each person's name out loud after they introduce themselves.
Do not be silent. You, of course, can show yourself in all your glory both at the second meeting and at the third, but it would be more advisable to immediately announce yourself with several significant and interesting ones.
To make it easier to get along with people, putting aside embarrassment, arrange an informal meeting. If you are at work, offer to stay after and drink tea. If these are new friends, invite them to your place, offer to have a picnic outside the city or go to a new exhibition. Don’t be afraid to be the first to meet the team halfway; they will appreciate it.
Treat all company members with respect. If you don’t like someone, it’s better to remain silent, of course, if the person does not go beyond moral standards of behavior. In this case, by trying to return it to its place, you can also add points to your authority. The main thing is that any actions must be delicate and balanced.
While you don’t yet belong in the company, they will take a closer look at you and, on occasion, test your strength. Be prepared for this, don't get angry and don't judge. Accept any manifestation with humor, even if it is a funny act of dedication.
Always be responsible for your words; if you promise, keep it. Don't lie, this is forgiven only to children. Having undermined trust once, it will not be easy for you to return it to its previous position in an adult team. Think about your every action and be honest both to yourself and to others. If you can’t do it, then don’t jump over your head.
The presence of intelligence and a developed sense of humor in any team is valued and encouraged, so do not forget to train both of these qualities equally. The ability to be serious and make a good joke, including at yourself – isn’t this an ideal combination in character? You will be perceived as a whole person, and not as a strict pedant or an eternal cheerful person.
Be natural. This is perhaps the most important thing. Unless you have great acting skills, it is better not to try to act, pretending to be someone you are not. Authority is always built on the true character of its owner. Therefore, if you do not quite correspond to the position that you can take in the team, first work on yourself, and then the gained authority will become your reflection.
Authority must be earned - deceiving others by flaunting clever phrases and puffing out your cheeks at the right moments will not work. But it is possible and even necessary to speed up the process a little. We encourage recognition of merit so as not to waste years proving the obvious.
Before we begin the discussion, we need to define what it means to influence others. And what does this mean for you.
Let's define this concept: Influence is the ability of a person or object to be an irresistible force or to produce an effect on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc. of other people.
Influence - to force or persuade (someone) to take some action. John Maxwell, bestselling author, says that "To be a leader is to influence. Nothing more, nothing less."
If leadership is influence, then the reverse must also be true. This means that influence is leadership. Is it so? I would add that influence only becomes leadership when it leads to positive results.
When a new leader joins the sales department, changes come with him. Employees suffer, because human nature resists everything new. But it’s not easy for the boss either. After all, further interaction with the team depends on how he shows himself. What do you need to do to earn authority?
Let's consider three possible options developments of events.
1. You are Chandler Bing from Friends
You worked hard and got promoted. Congratulations! Now let's think about the current situation.
Don't expect your relationships with your colleagues to stay the same. Your promotion changes everything, and there is no point in acting as before.
Problem
You are no longer a colleague, you are the new boss.
How can I communicate with my colleagues and friends now?
Firstly, they cannot count on bonuses and concessions from you. Although, of course, they will count.
Both you and they need to get used to the fact that communication will now be structured differently. At least within the office walls. If you, as a manager, keep problems at work to a minimum, the chance of maintaining friendships will increase. Otherwise, you will have to choose between a cherished position and an old friendship.
It's time to get things in order!
You know all the secret passages, you know exactly who is who. And you probably want to put pressure on the hacks, hit chronic latecomers, and generally eradicate the team’s vices.
There is no point in declaring this publicly - you will only make enemies. It is better to postpone chopping heads to the second stage - first, in any case, you need to learn how to effectively manage what you have. Perhaps executions will not be necessary at all, because you have leverage over everyone on the team - this is your personal mutual sympathy.
2. You are Major Payne
People worked under another boss, but he was replaced by you. You come from outside, don’t know anyone, and immediately become a boss.
If your relationship with your old boss was good neighborly, your subordinates will be hostile to you. It will seem to them that the previous boss cannot be better. But if he was mediocre, the team will rely on you. Except for those who think that they themselves would do a good job in this position.
Problem
How to introduce yourself?
The rules in this situation are the same as in the army - you need to do your best to create the right first impression. It would be best to show that you understand the specifics as well as others. Relatively speaking, if you have a team of forest fellers in front of you, show that you know how to handle a saw. You're not some bespectacled guy from headquarters.
Lack of expertise.
Don’t forget that the boss must be wise - if you don’t understand something, feel free to hire assistants from the ranks of your team. They will be flattered, and you will show your “human” side: yes, you, too, can make mistakes and do not know everything. Show that you have a common goal - and this is the result of the department's work, and not your self-affirmation.
How to improve personal relationships?
You can have one-on-one sessions with employees and have a heart-to-heart conversation with them. This will help establish contact with everyone and figure out who is who on the team.
How to understand the situation?
You should go through the past and current projects of your subordinates and identify comrades with whom you will have to contact more often. And also observe the work process and ask employees questions if something is not clear to you.
Also warn your immediate superior about your style and principles of work. For clarity, invite him to your meeting with the team.
3. You are Raiden
The only difference was that there was basically no ready-made team. It's your job to recruit it. So, before you is a group of people who are still far from becoming a team.
And now you, as a leader, will have to get to know everyone and introduce everyone to each other. Then build relationships within the team and conduct a full-fledged working dialogue.
Chandler Bing must convey to subordinates that from now on their statuses are different.
Major Payne must quickly understand the situation.
Raiden I have to sort everything out and then put it together into a full-fledged team.
Being interested and responsible, do not forget about your managerial function. Reputation, as you remember, takes years to build, but it can be lost in an instant.
How can you gain respect among strangers? How to join a new team? Many people who find themselves in a new team and want to somehow stand out among the people around them have probably asked themselves the question of how to gain respect and authority, and find true friends. Let's talk about the most effective and common ways in which you can not only win people's respect, but also find good comrades and friends in the new team.
So, the first important rule is to learn to show respect for other people and be attentive to other people’s opinions, even if you fundamentally disagree with them. Let people know that their opinion is not indifferent and is important to you personally. Be always ready to give advice, listen, show sympathy to those people whose respect you are trying to win.
Show off your charisma, leadership skills. Don’t be afraid to take responsibility (for example, in organizing leisure time and events), take the initiative, offer help and boldly put forward suggestions (rational!) if other people prefer to remain silent.
Don’t forget that people always give preference to competent, comprehensively developed, erudite individuals. Therefore, constantly develop yourself (attend seminars, courses, exhibitions, events), strive to gain more knowledge and skills that will not only be useful to you personally, but can also help solve some problems of your new acquaintances.
Don't be two-faced, as you are unlikely to gain people's respect and trust by pleasing everyone and saying only what they want to hear. At the same time, behind people’s backs you will tell some unpleasant things, criticize, condemn. Never do this! Try to be open and help others not with words, but with deeds.
Treat other people the same way you want them to treat you! Do not try to take revenge on anyone, even if you were greatly offended or treated incorrectly. Don’t forget that you are new and don’t know the problems and relationships in the new team . Be tactful. You can simply tell the offender that he acted completely ugly and insulted himself first of all.
Everyone knows that authority determines the relationship with colleagues, management, subordinates, and also directly affects the future career. A well-known proverb: “First you work for authority, and then authority works for you.” relevant at all times.
So, first of all, pay attention to your appearance. Especially if you have to meet a new team for the first time. One meets a person by his clothes, but sees him off by his mind - a very true proverb. Appearance and how you dress largely determine not only your status, but also your attitude towards the people around you. Your appearance is the best business card with very clear information about your aesthetic taste, material well-being, and membership in the professional community. Appearance plays one of the key roles in shaping your authority, which should never be neglected.
Another important factor influencing the formation of your authority in the new team. This is your emotional state. If you have a good mood, a sense of inner confidence and self-control, then people will be interested in communicating with you and sharing useful information about relationships in their community. Management also most often notices a pleasant, optimistic subordinate and helps them quickly integrate into the team of their enterprise, and then climb the career ladder.
One of the fundamental differences between those who will never be able to gain authority and those who enjoy authority, respect and trust is the ability to respond constructively to critical statements and comments addressed to them.
Try to cultivate leadership qualities in yourself, improve your professional level, do not limit your development to narrow responsibilities and delve into the affairs and problems of the entire team, and if someone needs your help, provide it to the best of your strength and capabilities. Winning friends is more difficult than achieving some kind of status and high position. But only