Negative character traits are not always as bad as they seem at first glance. People are not born bad, but become so due to various life circumstances. And most importantly, every character trait has positive tendencies that you just need to find and develop. Do not suppress your emotions and energy, because they, like a river blocked by a dam, will sooner or later break through and destroy everything in their path. Just point them in a new positive direction with a little effort. Advice from Astro7 experts will help you change your character.
Transforming negative character traits
1. Greed
Material greed is, in fact, a distorted form of the desire to gain knowledge and spiritual enrichment. Transform this negative quality by directing it to the accumulation of knowledge, collecting quotes from sages and saints. Spiritual progress will make you forget about mundane things that are not worth sacrificing your whole life to.
2. Disgust
Don't scold yourself for being disgusted. This is a common manifestation of a tendency towards spiritual and physical purity, albeit a little exaggerated. Cleanliness is an essential component of happiness, but to become happy, cleanliness alone is not enough. How to change your character in this case? Communicate more with spiritual people who will transform your disgust into simple legibility.
3. Anger
The presence of anger indicates your inclination towards spiritual leadership. People predisposed to it become furious when it seems to them that someone is behaving extremely unreasonably. In this case, the behavior is considered unreasonable by the criteria of a person who has fallen into uncontrollable anger, and all other people may consider it completely normal. You can benefit here too. Analyze behavior to understand what is good and what is bad. Direct this negative quality, anger, towards your own stupidity, desire for degradation and self-destruction.
4. Thirst for fame
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be effective. Fame attracts other people, forcing them to copy the behavior of their adored idol. If you dream of fame, then sooner or later you will achieve it. It is what kind of leader you become - a bad or a good leader - that determines what your fans will be like. Preaching good qualities, You will bring them into society and receive your “percentage” according to the karmic law.
5. Envy
How to change your character if you are prone to envy? And is it worth it? In fact, the presence of envy means that at heart you are an ideal student who dreams of surpassing his teacher. It is enough to find the “right” object of envy to get a “magic kick”: quit your boring job 10 years ago and open your own business, start training at a sports club and forget about cakes, throw away all ordinary wardrobe items and men unworthy of you. Look, you'll be the one to envy!
6. Treason and betrayal
If you are capable of treason and betrayal, then you know how to give up the worst for the sake of the best. In principle, there is nothing wrong with this. At all times, people who renounced bad things in favor of something good were considered reasonable. Of course, your action may look from the outside as treason and betrayal, but in fact you can act for your own good. In any case, try to maintain decency and not reject the person too harshly. Almost any relationship can be ended on a friendly note.
7. Criticism
If you learn to use criticism correctly, you will bring yourself a lot of benefit. Critics see the smallest details that are invisible to others. By switching your attention from bad events to good ones, you will see how the first leaves bloom in the spring, butterflies flutter and birds sing. You will be able to solve any problems, find a way out of any dead-end situations. All you have to do is just change your focus.
8. Laziness
Another well-known negative trait character - a tendency to laziness. However, sloths are patient. They will endure literally anything, just so as not to do any unnecessary actions. So, if you are pathologically lazy, feel free to choose the path of hardship and hardship. No matter what happens, you will reach your goal and achieve success in your chosen direction.
9. Brag
Would you like to tell others about your personal victories, exclusive holidays on the Cote d'Azur and membership in the best sports club in the city? You are a braggart. But there's nothing wrong with bragging. With the right transformation, you will become an ideal preacher or ideological inspirer. Your stories of personal achievement will inspire others and ignite their desire to strive for success.
10. Selfishness
It is easy to recognize selfishness - you are fixated on personal interests, dreams and desires. We are ready to talk for hours about personal hobbies and plans for the weekend, unfair bosses and ups and downs in love. At first, friends and colleagues listen to you with interest, but over time they run away at the mere sight of you. How to change your character in the case of selfishness? To transform this trait, you simply need to listen to others. You will be surprised to discover that each person is a bright individual with a unique set of desires and interests, and a worldview.
And finally, valuable advice. Associate with family, friends and colleagues who have the traits you want, and avoid those who exhibit negative traits. Don’t be charged with negativity and don’t adopt a bad temper.
How to change your character? A person does not think about whether it is possible to change his character in moments of joy and contentment with life; this usually happens when Once again face their own undesirable reactions that disrupt the priority course of events or begin to think about changes due to frequent comments from others for the sake of developing their own personality or the convenience of their immediate environment.
However, we change our character only as a result of new experience gained or with the use of enormous volitional efforts. In addition, the requirement to change one’s characterological characteristics, without specifying the details that require changes and in what direction, can give a completely unexpected result due to the fact that the worldview different people very different. Thus, when asking your friend to improve his character, you may expect to add confidence and assertiveness, while he will think about introducing tolerance and even more gentleness.
Can a person change his character?
For a certain time it was believed that it was impossible to change one's character, because... it is innate, but the genetic determination of traits makes up less than ten percent of the totality of characterological manifestations. What cannot be changed is because it directly reflects strength and organization nervous system, which are exclusively biologically determined indicators. For the most part, character is formed and changed by interests, which are also not static over the course of life (in childhood, preference is given to completely different types of activities than in adulthood, and character changes accordingly).
The next factor that makes up character is our social circle, namely those with whom we spend most time or those who have great emotional significance for us influence our reactions and their changes, preferences in time spent and tastes. But these are factors that can be influenced by a person, through which he can change his characterological traits, although not all of them, but there are also factors that are not subject to influence (at least in childhood, at the stage of personality formation) - the environment (this includes not so much geographical data, how much mentality and its characteristics influence the formation of values and interests) and education (by their own example or models of interaction, parents and school instill or destroy certain traits, thereby forming a character).
The question of independent character change, even in the chosen direction, equally deserves two opposite answers: yes, it is possible, since character is not a static indicator inherent genetically, and no, it is impossible, since we change character not under the influence of conscious factors, but in the presence of the corresponding changes in the internal or external environment. But, nevertheless, people try to change their character, guided by willpower, and face failure, because for such serious personal changes there is little in front of anyone. Usually you want to become a little different under the influence of a temporary impulse (your loved one left you, your boss was rude, etc.), and when life returns to normal, the desire to change disappears. This indicates a lack of motivation or willpower, inhibitions or hidden needs, since in reality character is subject to change. Composed of habits and typical ways of reacting and thinking, succumbing to the influence of the surrounding society, education and activities performed, character changes when these indicators change.
How to change your character? Character changes independently with age (under the influence life experience), depending on the situation (the most modest quiet person, when danger approaches, will begin to act actively and attract attention) and on the environment (in different countries and with different people we show our different traits). And if by a change in character we understand a person’s ability to react in a necessary situation in a different way from his usual one, then such changes are possible, and can be easily carried out by each of us, except in cases of pathological changes.
If the question is raised whether it is possible to change character as a systemic rather than situational quality and change one’s reaction not only in a specific situation, but change the entire style of life, then such transformations are quite difficult. This does not deny opportunities for everyone, but real facts Complete changes in the style of life response happened quite rarely, since it required reshaping the entire internal structure of a person.
Character represents a set of habits not only of a materialistic and everyday nature, but also of ways of reacting; accordingly, the more habits a person is able to change, the greater changes in character are available to him. The ability to make such changes is lost over the years, which is why at a young age one can easily adapt to new people and new places, while at an older age it is difficult to interact in unusual forms, since it is difficult to change one’s usual stereotypical reactions. Characterological may be innate quality, so someone will unconsciously change and adapt to conditions, remaining flexible and adaptive all their lives (such people do not have the problem of changing character), and someone carries their beliefs throughout life and its various events, without moving from place to place. their moral concepts.
Changing character as a way of interacting with reality remains possible and not always a difficult undertaking, but requires awareness. Understanding why you need to change (for the sake of qualitative changes in your life or for the convenience of others who express dissatisfaction with your complex character), adequate yourself (assessing the degree of development and presence of certain qualities) and goal setting (in which direction to change and to what extent of manifestation) help you choose the right ways to achieve it and not give up halfway.
How to change your character for the better
Under changes in better side Different people may mean opposite things - some lack toughness, some lack tolerance, some try to learn to listen to others, while others need to learn to refuse. Therefore, before you begin to change your character, you need to analyze your existing qualities and criticize the need to change them. You can make lists of your strengths and weaknesses, and then make such lists from the point of view of the people around you. Only after analyzing the situation can you begin to make changes, because it may turn out that what your employees dislike actually makes you an effective worker and does not allow them to dump work on you, or that what you considered to be a certainty greatly hurts all your loved ones.
Literature and films, thematic meetings and psychological consultations– at all such events you get the opportunity to think, analyze the behavior of other people, take something as an example or see the consequences of such behavioral tactics. Profound works not only force you to look at the world differently, but also lay in our inner world experience of another interaction, if there are quite a lot of similar variations in behavior in the internal picture of the world and, moreover, they are all internalized, then the freedom to choose your character will remain yours and will be an easy process.
The analysis should form two images - you at the moment and you in the future. Regarding the first, you should stop deceiving yourself and justifying yourself, and honestly admit the presence of those qualities that exist (“I often take it out on my neighbors, but I give generous gifts,” reformulate it into “I often take it out on my neighbors, this is a fact, I am capable of generosity, this is also a fact"). Regarding the desired image, it’s worth finding people or characters that you like this issue you can be equal. Take a close look at the people whose character you like, whether all the traits suit you, whether the lifestyle they lead suits you, and other details. After careful study, it may turn out that you like only one feature in everything, and the entire accompanying lifestyle does not suit you critically, then it is worth once again reconsidering where you are striving.
When choosing character examples, be guided by your own feelings, since there is no list of best or worst qualities - what makes your life happier and more successful, fuller, more successful, is your personal improvement, even if others consider it negative. Just as praising certain approaches and views will not necessarily improve your character if after this you are more likely to be nervous, more tired and establish insincere relationships. The first thing that will come in handy on the path to any change is strengthening. It is important to move from the usual model of reaction and interaction to a new one - take a break to think about your reaction, then acting in a new or previous way will be your choice and it means that such behavior corresponds to the situation or you decided to leave this trait. Hot temper with such pauses can be replaced with ironic remarks, quick agreements to help to the detriment of oneself with polite refusals.
If a person himself does not notice the harm caused by his character to others, existing relationships and his life in general, then friends and relatives can help, forcing them to think about what is happening with their questions - it is important to ask questions about the motivation for action, and not demand changes in the form of an ultimatum. If a person cannot be influenced, then the help of a psychotherapist may already be necessary, since a complex character often hides personal trauma and without appropriate elaboration of painful moments, changes are unsafe. The help of specialists is also necessary when the changes have become pathological and it is necessary to correct at least the affective sphere with medication.
How to change your character to a tougher one
One of the misconceptions about desired character adjustments is that changes for the better are perceived as an increase in tolerance, loyalty and gentleness. But the problem is that such characters are very convenient for others, presenting a problem for the person himself. is considered better, but people with this mindset take on too many other people’s problems, forgetting about their own needs, which ends with a lack of energy to resolve their own issues.
If there is less and less of you in your life, and your thoughts are constantly busy solving other people’s problems, then it is worth adding a bit of toughness to your character. Take a closer look at people or characters who are capable of being tough, but remain kind and fair, observe how they act in difficult situations, what guides them when making a choice. Among your friends, as well as the heroes of books, there will definitely be those from whom you can borrow a couple of techniques for defending your position using correct methods. Basically it comes down to the ability to refuse, without feeling guilty, prioritizing in such a way that your life and moral well-being do not suffer. Many people continue to eat up all your time because you yourself have not endowed it with enough value, if you make it clear that your weekends are devoted to relaxation, and you would not exchange an evening with your family for work and the good attitude of your colleagues, then respect for you will begin to manifest itself more strongly and the number of requests that interfere with life will decrease.
Learn to express your opinion, not to adjust it to your superiors, significant person or the majority, but to voice exactly your point of view, which you may have to defend. Commit independent decisions and take responsibility for them, accept criticism, but don't let it change your mind instantly. Developing your manifestations strengthens character, trains personal responsibility and promotes personal maturity. Just as you stop justifying yourself and blaming successes and failures on others, also stop making excuses for others. Of course, a tsunami can destroy your office, and a hailstorm can prevent you from arriving on time, but this cannot justify a month of inaction or the absence of a warning call. Strictness towards yourself and others, in details and large-scale events, is what adds rigidity. At first, this will require effort of attention and will, so as not to give concessions, but over time you get used to living according to new laws, where there is no escape not only for you, but also for others, acquiring a new, tougher character. If such manifestations are one-sided, then you will turn either into a tyrant or driven by your responsibility. Only a clear division and retention of the framework of your and other people's responsibilities will help maintain balance. 
If you are asking this question, then most likely you have difficulties communicating with other people, you are unable to build relationships, people do not pay attention to you, or they make complaints about your difficult character. In short, you cannot get along with other people because some of your character traits prevent you from doing so. Of course, there are other reasons why you want to change your character. Maybe you want to be like another person because he or she likes someone you like. There are many reasons, and in this article we will answer the question: “How to change your character?”.
To begin with, it would be nice to answer the questions of what character is, what character is made of, and how it is formed. In general, from the Greek word "character" translated as "imprint". From here everything becomes clear. A person’s character is very closely related to the type of temperament, since it is from him that specific reactions to any events occur. It is impossible to change, but with help you can reduce or even completely eliminate negative traits. Some character traits are innate and are inherited. But innate character traits have a small share. Most character traits are shaped by life experiences, upbringing, and surroundings or environment.
Agree, if you were born in another country or in another family, your character would be completely different. So remember, 95% of character traits are formed under the influence of the external environment. The remaining remaining percentages depend on genetics and temperament type.
As you have noticed yourself, a person’s character changes throughout life. These changes occur unconsciously, as if the program had worked in right time. After all, as a child you had the same values and hobbies, in adulthood they were completely different, and in old age they were also different. But the foundation of character is laid in childhood, and by the age of 4-5 we can safely say that the child already has his own character.
Then major changes occur during the school years. In adult life, changes in character will occur due to some events, under the influence of other people and age-related changes. By the age of 50, a person stops living in the future, stops making plans, and begins to think about the past. After 60 years, a person moves to a new stage of life, when the past and present become significant. Slowness and calm appear.
Every person has certain character traits. As you know, there are no absolutely identical people, even among twins (by the way, I have a twin brother), who at first glance seem absolutely identical. It is very good that all individuals are unique, otherwise it would be boring to live among the same people. If we talk about character traits, then according to Teplov’s system they are divided into four groups.
The first group includes common features character who are psychological basis for a person. This is sincerity, courage, activity, hard work and so on. There are also their opposites: insincerity, pessimism, cowardice, passivity.
The second group includes those character traits that express the individual’s attitude towards other people. It is this group that is strongly associated with the type of temperament. This is either isolation, kindness or hostility, indifference or attentiveness, love or contempt, and so on.
The third group of character traits includes those traits that express a person’s attitude towards himself. This category includes such character traits as pride, vanity, delusions of grandeur, feeling self-esteem, selfishness, .
The fourth group reflects the individual’s attitude towards work. Laziness or hard work, and overcoming difficulties, or fear of them, initiative and activity, or lack of initiative and passivity.
How to change your character?
It's time to talk about how to change your character. Some character traits are easy to change if they are not opposite. But if you want to change such a character trait as hot temper to calmness, it will take long and hard work. Some character traits cannot be changed due to temperament. I have already spoken about this above. Also, after thirty years it is also very difficult to change anything in yourself, but nothing is impossible. In fact, a person can always change what he doesn’t like about himself.
And before you start changing something in yourself, you first need to determine what exactly you want to change, what character traits.
So, take a piece of paper and write down the character traits that you would like to eliminate. Below each trait, write how and when this trait manifests itself. This will make it easier for you to control yourself and avoid wrong actions and reactions. You should also remember about awareness. This is a very important point, because you know that most reactions and actions occur unconsciously. Therefore, the first month will be very difficult for you.
The second way that will make it easier for you to change your character is if you replace your negative trait with a positive one. In this case, you will focus not on preventing such and such a reaction or action, but on behaving differently.
For example, if you want to eliminate such a character trait as intemperance, then you will get rid of it much easier if you cultivate in yourself such a character trait as patience. If you try to get rid of isolation, then you will not be able to do this unless you begin to cultivate in yourself such a character trait as sociability. You won't get rid of cowardice if you don't. This technique is called "substitution". You don't get rid of it, but you replace a character trait.
Once you have decided on the traits you want to get rid of and replace with, you should visualize yourself with these character traits. In fact, it triggers itself very powerfully. When you imagine your behavior in specific situations many times, it actually begins to manifest itself in the form in which you imagined it. I have observed this millions of times in my own example. Visualization greatly helps to change your character. The main thing here is regularity, as well as awareness of your reactions and actions.
After a month of monitoring your new habits and actions, your new character traits will appear automatically. You will no longer need to control them, everything will happen on autopilot. And all this thanks to NLP. That is, a new neural network is formed in your brain, which is responsible for this or that habit. The most difficult thing is the beginning, and a very difficult one.
I also want to warn you not to try to completely remake yourself. I understand that there is something about yourself that doesn’t suit you, but it’s unlikely to be possible to change yourself completely 180 degrees, and it’s not necessary. It is better to accept some character traits, because they can be your strength. yourself as you really are.
human character, character traits, how to change your character
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How often can you hear a person say, “I can’t change anymore.” Indeed, as you age, it becomes more difficult to make changes in your life, but this does not mean that it is impossible to do it. To understand how to change your character, it is enough to realize exactly what traits you want to have, make a plan and move towards its implementation.
What is character made of?
The expression “just like your father” or “you have your grandmother’s character” really makes sense, but the genetic makeup makes up only 7%, and the remaining 93% comes from acquired traits. The following have a special influence on character:
Upbringing.
Parents not only impart genetic material into their child, but also develop their personality. They do this consciously and unconsciously. They talk about good and evil, norms of behavior, etiquette. If a girl is told from childhood that she is strong and independent, in adulthood she may have problems showing softness and femininity. A boy who is overprotected by his mother, grandmother, or aunt can grow up to be a mama's boy. An excess of praise leads to a constant search for approval, and a lack of it leads to an inferiority complex.
Place of residence.
The character of a provincial will be very different from the character of a person who grew up in the capital. It is impossible to level out cultural differences. For example, in the East the bias is towards family and spiritual values. The West is more pragmatic and pays more attention to building a career.
Interests.
They change throughout life. Interests can be both an indicator of character and a means of correcting it. For example, a person who likes to collect model cars is probably pedantic, assiduous, and meticulous. On the other hand, if a person lacks these qualities, he needs to develop the ability to calm down, control himself, and concentrate; he should acquire such a hobby.
Circle of friends. Just as parents influence a child with their behavior and attitude, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances can influence a person. He finds an example to follow, can become dependent on someone else's opinion, borrow other people's hobbies or copy traits.
3 traits you need to get rid of to change your character
Before you change your character, you need to understand whether there is an internal resource. There are factors that hinder change, they need to be eradicated.
1. Laziness.
“I’ll start losing weight tomorrow,” “I’ll sign up for courses on Monday,” “I’ll move next winter,” “I’ll quit in January.” Planning is great, but you need to make sure that procrastination is due to the fact that it is more convenient, better, and not because it is simply laziness. To do this, just ask yourself what can be done to achieve a certain goal right now. For example, you want to develop discipline in yourself. This means that you should plan tomorrow, and maybe even today, and do everything according to the list. Don’t snooze your alarm because you’re too lazy to get up for a run at 8 am, but force yourself to get out of bed.
2. Low self-esteem.
You need to be able to confess your love to yourself. This is the first rule for change. If a person does not love himself, he will not be able to change his character. The internal state largely depends on the external one, and it is much easier to change it. Start simple, change your appearance - get a haircut, dye your hair, change your image, so that you feel more beautiful and confident. Update your wardrobe, get a gadget, an accessory that will make you feel more significant (at this stage this is normal). As soon as self-confidence appears, the inner voice will gain more weight, and it will be easier to make changes with faith in oneself.
3. Negative thinking.
It is in some way associated with low self-esteem. It is difficult for a person who lacks self-confidence to believe that changes can occur in his character. We need to throw out the phrases “I can’t”, “I won’t succeed” from the vocabulary. A good example would be the Jim Carrey movie Always Say Yes.
How to change your character
Is it possible to change your character? Can! It takes time and work on yourself. You will have to take 5 steps.
Step 1 - Analysis
You need to take a sheet of paper, or better yet, keep a diary for this. Divide the page in half. On the one hand, you need to write down the qualities that you want to improve in yourself, on the other hand, how to achieve this. For example, in order to develop communication skills, you need to communicate more with people, in order to become bolder - learn to look your fears in the eye. Once the list is ready, you need to turn it into a plan of what will be done and when.
Step 2 – Outside View
It will be very helpful to find someone with similar negative traits. This will help you better understand the problem and consider it. This way it will be clearly visible what needs to be urgently gotten rid of.
Step 3 – Role Model
Having realized what not to do, you should find a person you want to be like. This could be an acquaintance, a colleague, or even a celebrity. The image can be collective: the elegance of Princess Diana, the kindness of Mother Teresa, the sense of humor of Melissa McCartney. You need to try to copy their behavior, adopting character traits.
Step 4 - Control
Making a plan is only half the battle; you need to make sure that it will be carried out. Self-control is the quality without which it will be difficult to change the others. It is important to think before speaking, get rid of laziness, and control emotions.
It takes 21 days to develop a new habit. You can use the method with an elastic band on your hand. As soon as you notice a negative trait emerging, slap yourself with a rubber band. If this is repeated 4 times, the elastic band is put on the other hand and the 21 day countdown begins again.
Step 5 – Good Deeds
Being kind and helping others brings pleasure, helps you feel good, and makes you feel more important. It doesn't matter what kind of cases we are talking about, it can be something simple. To begin with, you can make a habit of collecting 10 “thank yous” a day. Every time a person thanks you for something, send the words of gratitude to your mental piggy bank.
Before you change your character, you need to think about what kind of person you want to become and how this will change your life. The more powerful the visualization, the stronger the motivation and desire to change.