In their youth, people do not often think about how to change their character. As a rule, this thought comes with growing up and the desire to fully communicate with others. A person realizes that everyone around him does not have to love him if he does not love himself, constantly whines and complains about life, is angry or lazy.
The moment you realize that your character is the cause of difficult relationships in the family or at work, you urgently need to take measures to correct the situation.
First step: positive thinking
In essence, a bad character is like bad habit, but getting rid of it is more difficult than, for example, quitting smoking. If you can control yourself and not buy a pack of cigarettes, then there will be no point in smoking, but unnecessary thoughts harder to get out of your head.
Remember, your character is your idea of life. What you think about yourself will grow and develop in you. Therefore, always imagine what kind of person you want to become.
If you are used to constantly regretting something and telling how unlucky you are in life, think about what you have. Every person has something to be grateful for: health, children, work, appearance. If you think that there is nothing, this is your chance to start from scratch. The first thing you need to do before changing your character is to learn to think positively.
Eat interesting technique, which can help you with this. Take a simple elastic band for money and put it on your hand. As soon as a negative thought creeps into your head, immediately pull back the rubber band and “click” - remember that everything is fine, and it will be even better. The habit of controlling your thoughts and not allowing yourself to slide into the swamp of envy, resentment, scandals will make you an optimist, and happiness without optimism is impossible. In turn, a happy person is confident in himself, he is happy for himself and for others, and gives a good mood to those around him.
Step two: self-love
The second thing without which you cannot change your character is self-love. Every morning, when you wake up and sweetly stretch, go to the mirror, smile and say: “I love you.” Repeat to yourself as often as possible that every minute you are becoming better, kinder, more confident.
Such auto-training will set the right mood for the whole day, and having received the right setting, you will follow it automatically.
Not loving yourself because you don't like your character is pointless. Until you accept yourself as you are, you will be filled with negativity towards yourself, and this only destroys. You, on the contrary, need to learn to create - to create a new person who will correspond to your ideas.
Step three: behavior analysis
Character is a set of habits to react in some way to emerging situations. Considering that life consists of repeating moments, learn to analyze your behavior. It's a great idea to start keeping a journal. Describe what happened to you that day, how you behaved and what you should have done.
For example, you want to become more self-confident, but today your boss suggested filling out your vacation schedule. You, of course, modestly remained silent, although you dreamed of going on vacation in August. Describe the current situation and the reasons for your timidity, draw up an approximate dialogue with your boss that could take place. The next day, with this conversation plan, go and boldly explain to your boss that August is ideal for your vacation. Several such situations, and soon you will be able to stand up for yourself.
Before you change your character, think about whether you really need it. If you do not experience discomfort in communicating with other people and live in harmony with yourself, perhaps you do not need changes. You should not rely on the opinion of one person who does not like something about you.
No matter what character trait you decide to combat, you will need to follow a simple plan. First, determine what exactly is behind the problem, what caused it, and what you want to replace it with. For example, if you want to stop getting angry over stupid things, start smiling. Research has shown that a habit is formed within 30 days. This means that if you control your emotions for a month, then after this time the changes will be obvious. If the list of what you want to change is quite extensive, highlight the main points (1-2) that you will work on first.
Having thought about how you can change your character, you should understand that thinking alone is not enough; serious work on yourself will be required. When a person is not satisfied with his body, he goes on a diet and goes to the gym. Actions are always needed to get results. Therefore, having decided to change, act, because the quality of your life depends on this.
Anna, Taganrog
Psychologist's comment:
Character is a set of stable mental properties and habitual standard ways of behavior. Very often, character is described through a set of “character traits.” Is it possible to change your character at all? The answer is yes, although it is not an easy task. Character is a secondary formation and depends on personal development. A personality can, in its development, overcome those traits that are unacceptable to it, for example, as the author of the article writes, when “character is the cause of difficult relationships in the family or at work.” Please note that there is a difference between personality, what a person lives for (what is important to him, what is indifferent) and character, which determines exactly how the process of interaction with the world is realized. There is even an expression: “ Good man with a bad character."
Why does a person need character? It is necessary to preserve the personality itself and the motives that drive a person, i.e. he carries protective function. In order to systematize and simplify life in society, a person accumulates a set of habits - stereotypical ways of behavior (in order not to constantly encounter situations of uncertainty and not to solve constant intrapersonal problems in everyday life).
Remember the beginning of the well-known proverb: “If you sow an action, you will reap a habit...”. Character begins with action in an uncertain situation. “Basically, a bad character is like a bad habit,” in principle, this is true. But we must remember that character begins to be built from childhood around the innate properties of a person: such as nervous system, temperament.
The author of the article points out that the desire to change character comes, as a rule, in adulthood with the emergence of problems in communication, when “a person realizes that everyone around him does not have to love him if he does not love himself, constantly whines and complains about life, gets angry or being lazy." The main reason why a person wants to change is to receive love, respect, recognition from other people. What lies even deeper? It can be difficult to figure this out on your own. It may be a fear of loneliness or emotional dependence on another person who wants you to change. There is a danger here of changing yourself to please others, of ignoring your own needs, interests, even fears, i.e. actually “not loving yourself.”
Even if you have independently analyzed the causes and consequences of your behavior and got to the bottom of the truth, implementing changes in your life can be difficult. A psychologist will spot pitfalls and create a supportive environment for you to try new behaviors and gain new experiences in a safe but meaningful environment.
What problems might a person face if he decides to change his character on his own? On his way, he will most likely encounter relapses, a return to the old, with a feeling of guilt about this, and as a result, a decrease in mood and motivation for change; he may have intrapersonal conflicts, a “rebellion” against a demanding “inner parent” , and he will also discover that self-hypnosis works for a limited time. And another important point - there will be other unexpected changes that will occupy your attention and time (by changing an element of the system, we affect the entire system). Remember that you need to give yourself time so that changes have time to integrate into your life.
Now let's look at several individual traits that the author suggests working on. If a person is “angry,” then it is possible that this is a signal that the situation does not suit him (he wants changes and even has the energy for this), perhaps he is carrying an excessive load, is overexerting himself, or those around him do not hear him.
You also need to understand what it means when a person is “lazy” in each specific case and the reasons for laziness. This can be either chronic fatigue or burnout syndrome. Laziness can be the cause of intrapersonal conflict when, for example, there are arguments for doing something, and others against resistance. Perhaps an internal feeling of the meaninglessness of any actions and at the same time hope for a miracle.
It may turn out that a person has a weak type of nervous system, he needs more rest (others see him as lazy), and this is an innate feature. You need to take into account your own characteristics in shaping your individual style(then you can compensate innate qualities nervous system, such as fatigue, excitability, etc.). And here there are other tasks - to accept yourself, adapt and explain to others that everything is fine with you - you are just that way by nature. Try to declare love for yourself! Here a string of new problems and situations may arise when others do not allow you to be who you are. A person learns his character, as well as its changes, through other people. In terms of “seriously working on yourself,” you can completely agree with the author. And sometimes it may turn out that a person wants to change his environment, and not change his character.
The author of the article outlines a sequence of three steps for changing character - positive thinking, self-love and behavior analysis. In itself, positive thinking and self-love, achieving these states is already a goal and a great value. Here we can already talk about a change in character. “Your character is your idea of life. What you think about yourself will grow and develop in you.” I would say the first step is increasing awareness. You need to change your character by changing your attitude towards the world, towards yourself (I agree with the author), if this takes root, then we can consider that the character has changed.
We can agree with the phrase that “a happy person is confident in himself, he is happy for himself and for others, and gives a good mood to those around him.” And a happy person knows his own characteristics, weaknesses and strengths, and accepts himself. There is self-sufficiency and completeness here. Other people perfectly sense our mood, what can be expected from you, and try to be closer.
In conclusion, I would like to add that a person grows and changes - this is normal and natural. You can change spontaneously under the influence of your environment (the opinions of other people, society, circumstances), or you can cultivate what you think is important to develop or preserve in yourself. Train your skill like a muscle! Therefore, it is important to discuss with other people and experiment. The most effective way to do this is with a professional psychologist.
Psychologist-consultant Natalia Sushinina
The question “how to change your character” has probably been asked by everyone. And this is quite justified: human nature is multifaceted and it contains qualities that can both please and sadden. The fact is that each of our advantages is nothing more than a continuation of our shortcomings. So, people who are generous can actually be very greedy. That is why there is generosity: they compensate for their stinginess so as not to receive condemnation. Every inner quality of human nature can be considered by this type. But how to change your character? Is it really possible to change a person’s character, to reshape a person’s nature? Let's consider the issue in detail.
Probably everyone has heard from their parents: “It will be difficult for you with such a character,” “Your husband will run away from you” (or wife). Yes, those around us can see the tip of the iceberg: our actions, dictated by character. But do our actions really indicate that we have certain qualities?
– a certain set of personality properties. Our reactions to all life circumstances and habitual behavior depend on them.
Is it possible to change your character? To fix something, you must first understand the mechanism of action. You can't fix an alarm clock if you don't understand how it works.
Let's look at step by step how to change your character in better side.
Exploring yourself
What character traits do you think need correction? Let's say you are too soft a person and this prevents you from defending yourself from manipulation by other people or moving up the career ladder. Think about something else. Every coin has two sides. The gentleness that bothers you is also kindness, it is clear conscience because you don't commit bad deeds. This is your compassionate attitude towards others. This is why your loved ones love you. If you completely eliminated this trait from your life, you would cease to be yourself.
It is almost impossible to completely eradicate a trait and change your character. This happens only under the yoke of difficult circumstances. Let's say a person is captured, somewhere where his life will depend on his harshness. And then he will either give up or completely abandon gentleness and begin to fight. So he will cultivate the opposite trait in himself: rigidity. Even cruelty. His former feelings will become dull, his soul will harden. Neither love nor longing nor pity. For this reason, many parents send their children to sports: to develop the necessary character traits, to incline this set for the better. Athletes are persistent, resilient, hardworking, capable of complete dedication and self-control.
First, consider the traits you want to change. Find another side of them and think about whether you want to completely eradicate it from yourself. Character traits themselves are neutral. People give them the “good” and “bad” colors. You can use your qualities for good and control the other side of the coin with the help of. Hitler was a talented leader. If I had directed my abilities in a peaceful direction, I could have achieved completely different results in life. The choice is always yours.
Secondly, if you lack some character trait, think about it. Often people lack self-discipline, the ability not to give up what they started, and to achieve their goal. We are talking about education here. You must not only get rid of absent-mindedness and spontaneity, but also cultivate the necessary quality. Not only pull out the weed by the roots, but also plant a flower in its place. Care, water. Then he will take root. And from time to time you still have to remove weeds, because they grow on their own.
Thirdly, you must have a good understanding of the mechanisms of your actions. Conduct a thorough analysis of your personality before you think about how to change your character.
Motivation is the key to change
Solves everything. It warms you up from the inside, pushes you. Let's be honest: people are inert creatures. Our body strives for peace, like everything else in this world. Motivation is what makes a person move. Hunger will motivate the cat to get up and start catching mice. In humans, the mechanism is more complex, but the principle of operation is the same. A person knows that he needs to work in order to have food on the table and a roof over his head. To buy things, to travel. That's why we work. But how can you force yourself, for example, to lose weight? There is no motivation for this. Yes, you want to look good, but not as much as you want to relax after a day of work.
Usually the motivation is a situation that touches pride or other feelings:
- Falling in love, the desire to gain the sympathy of a loved one.
- Resentment towards a friend who joked about your body weight.
- Envy: the new colleague at work is disgusting and so thin. I want to be better.
- Fear: Obesity is bad for your health.
There are many reasons, but individually they often turn out to be weaker than inertia. And you need to connect them together with the help of constant reminders. You need to start your morning by listing the reasons why you won’t stress-eat and lie down on the couch. All the reasons together will help overcome inertia.
The same with character: you must find motivation that will be stronger than your desire to give up action towards change.
A properly motivated person will move mountains. Make yourself feel, rely on emotions. Then you will have the power that will show you how to change your character for the better.
Next step: visualization
Support actions with images. Be determined to win. Play out situations in your head and adjust your behavior in them. If you want to learn, visualize the situation in your mind and say no. Analyze your feelings. It will be difficult at first, but do this a few times and it will become easier to refuse. The same goes for any other trait that you would like to add to your character.
Change of environment
When we are surrounded by the same people every day, it is harder to change. They may not understand the changes, they have to conform and adapt. It is necessary to increase personal space: an adult should live separately from his parents. Independence and isolation will provide scope for change.
Can a person change his character?
And here is the main question. How much can you change your character? Can it be corrected? Answer: yes. But you shouldn't expect drastic changes. There are congenital traits and acquired traits. You can develop new traits in yourself if you take it seriously. But remember two important truths.
- You cannot change your character to please others. This is what you should want.
- Any character trait has two sides. It all depends on concentration. You can turn your shortcomings into good.
Is it possible to change your character? Yes, but not radically and only if there are compelling reasons for this.
Psychologists agree that important stage a change in one's qualities is an external change. You have to change your job, get surrounded by people who don’t know you. There you will be able to show your other qualities without causing condemnation. It is also important to understand why you are changing yourself. The changes should be beneficial to you. Then you will be able to motivate yourself correctly. To change yourself, you need to find good reasons and true desire.
- Change your environment, change your job, or make new friends.
- Motivate yourself.
- Start doing something that will help you develop necessary qualities: , new
Also, watch films where the characters exhibit the trait you want. Learn from them. Try to imitate.
Conclusion
It is unlikely that you will be able to radically change your character. But a person is free to change certain traits and cultivate the necessary qualities in himself. To do this, you need to force yourself to act, to go towards the goal, no matter what. The right motivation will help with this.
Having reached a certain age, people often begin to question the quality of the path they have traveled. Did they do the right thing at one time or another? What opportunities were missed? Or maybe this path could have been completely different and brought much more results?
Such thoughts can arise at different ages. Asking them both at 25 and at 30-40 years old, a person not only analyzes his past experience. He is trying to re-evaluate the way he lives the present. It often happens that the conclusions turn out to be very unsatisfactory, and a verdict is made about the need for change. In this case, there can only be one answer: you urgently need to change your character. And the faster, the more time has already been spent on unnecessary doubts, mistakes, and worries.
How can this be done for an adult, mature person? And in general, is it really possible to change yourself? Let's look at a few tips that will help you make adjustments to your character - and therefore change your destiny.
Visualize your ideal self
When we are not satisfied with our habits, then, first of all, this is expressed in a critical attitude towards ourselves. However, it is impossible to build something new only on the basis of criticism and self-criticism. A more positive approach is needed. In order to decide on end point In your journey to improve yourself, you need to saturate your mind with positive images. These images should reflect what you are striving for. There is a desire to become more self-confident, or, for example, more humane - imagine yourself as such.
Feed your mind as much positive information as possible. Watch movies, read books whose main characters resonate with you. When working on yourself, try not to strain or force yourself. Put aside all self-recrimination, at least for a while. Relax and imagine what your dream life could be like. It will definitely become so over time, when internal work is carried out.
Once the ideal look has been chosen, there are some important factors to consider. Visualization will be more effective the more often it is used. You also need to present an improved copy of yourself in as much detail as possible. Imagine in detail that you have already become the person you want.
Hard work
Get ready for long and hard work, since changing your character for the better without effort is nothing more than a child’s fantasy. Yours behavioral traits, ideas about oneself and the world have been formed over many years - and perhaps decades. Therefore, be prepared for the fact that a long process of working on yourself can cause many difficulties, including resistance to it. Some of those who want to change their lives are too impatient. They also throw personal growth only because they did not see real results at some point.
Another obstacle is dishonesty, even when alone with ourselves. Sometimes people try to embellish themselves. Sometimes, on the contrary, to belittle. Regardless of these extremes, in order to move to a qualitatively different level of life, it is necessary to have a correct understanding of both your current shortcomings and advantages. Sometimes it may be necessary to work with a psychologist.
Start cultivating self-love
To do any work you need strength - including working on yourself. If you don’t have that person who would constantly provide moral support and don’t skimp on inspiring words, then this recommendation is especially important for you. Self-love can be expressed in different ways - taking care of your body, playing sports, devoting time to hobbies. Without this quality, it is impossible to build full-fledged relationships with the people around you.
Work on building adequate self-esteem
On the one hand, to successfully change your character for the better, it is important to recognize and appreciate your positive qualities and talents. On the other hand, adequate self-esteem is based on one interesting statement. Be warned: it may be unpleasant. This statement sounds like this: “I am no better and no worse than others.” Anyone who suffers from low self-esteem may not be aware of the effective healing nature of this truth.
After all, if there is a need for constant reinforcement that a person is good and deserves better, most likely there is a skew in his perception of the people around him. Very often, such a belief can take root as a result of improper upbringing and lack of attention in childhood. Then, having already matured, he can constantly seek approval from others. Or another option - such a person may subconsciously consider himself better. In the latter case, it is necessary to instill in yourself a new belief. It should be repeated every day until it becomes self-evident.
It is often recommended to use affirmations to work on yourself. The main difficulty in using them is that the subconscious part of the mind cannot always believe them. After all, if you constantly repeat that you are confident in yourself, but in fact you are not, your brain will certainly sense a catch. In this case, you can adjust them a little. Instead of the phrase “I am confident in myself,” you can repeat a modified version: “I am becoming more confident in myself.”
Doing charity work can be a great way to increase self-esteem. By doing good deeds (but there is no need to advertise them), a person begins to feel better. The main advantage is that this happens for a reason, which means that the subconscious has something to believe.
All these points are only the basis that can serve as further life changes. They say that a person's destiny is his character. Having managed to lay this foundation correctly and overcome internal obstacles, you can really count on changing your destiny.
How to change your character - Don’t be a “mean”!
What is character?
- What is character?
— Is it possible to change your temperament and how?
— Three steps to change your character
— Instructions for changing your nature
- Conclusion
Character – this is a set of stable mental properties and habitual standard ways of behavior. Very often, character is described through a set of “character traits.” Is it possible to change your character at all? The answer is yes, although this is not an easy task. Character is a secondary formation and depends on personal development.
A personality can, in its development, overcome those traits that are unacceptable to it, for example, as the author of the article writes, when “character is the reason for difficult relationships in the family or work." Pay attention to the fact that there is a difference between personality, what a person lives for (what is important to him, what is indifferent) and character, which determines how exactly the process is implemented from interaction with the world.
Is it possible to change your temperament and how?
A person’s character is, first of all, his habits; it is his typical way of thinking, behaving and reacting. Character is not given to a person along with genes in a ready-made form from birth: it also depends on upbringing, environment, education and many other factors.
A person’s character changes naturally, on its own, throughout life, primarily depending on age. Childish spontaneity of response is replaced by youthful impetuosity, which after a dozen or two years calms down in adult prudence. Also, character tends to become less positive with age... and downright negative in old age (see Emotional Tone Scale).
In addition, a person’s character changes depending on the situation in which the person finds himself. The most melancholic person, at the sight of an approaching tsunami wave, will rush away from it with the cheerfulness of a choleric person. At work, a person may have one personality - for example, energetic and collected. At home, the same person’s character may change, concentration may change to absent-mindedness, energy to laziness. At the very cheerful man, if something hurts, the character, as a rule, becomes somewhat lethargic and sad.
Character is a collection of habits, and habits can be changed. If you set yourself this task and start training calm reactions, you will succeed.
The ability to permanently and significantly change your character depends on several points. It depends on age: the younger a person is, the fewer fixed patterns there are and the easier it is to change one’s character. It also depends on individual, congenital characteristics. There are people who have an innate ability to easily change themselves and their character, and there are people who have an innately fixed character that can hardly change.
We are all different. Eat big number people who do not change their character simply because they are convinced: “Character cannot be changed!” And most importantly, what the changeability of our character depends on is the ability to change ourselves. Those who know how to change themselves change themselves more easily and more often.
Character, like habitual behavior, can be changed. How? Copying the behavior of other people is the simplest and most natural way. Since childhood, we learn by copying and imitating - we learn to walk, talk, react. It is complicated by the fact that there must be exactly the person nearby whom you want to copy - and this is not always the case. And if this happened and there is such a person next to you wonderful person- take advantage of the opportunity!
You can start by copying the gaits of other people: the fact is that gait and character are connected. It’s easy to tell about many of a person’s traits based on their gait; on the other hand, by changing your gait, you can (and should) gradually change (improve) your character.
If it is difficult to find a person next to you whose character traits you would like to copy, look for the right types in books, films, and finally come up with one. Imagine and ask yourself more often, how should the ideal person for you behave in this situation? What will he say? What will he feel?
Again: character is a collection of habits, so your task is to acquire new, good habits to replace the old ones. And in general, study the topic “How to work on yourself.” You can do it!
Three steps to change your character
First step: positive thinking.
In essence, a bad character is like a bad habit, only it is more difficult to get rid of it than, for example, to quit smoking. If you can control yourself and not buy a pack of cigarettes, then there will be nothing to smoke, but it will be more difficult to get unnecessary thoughts out of your head. Remember, your character is your idea of life. What you think about yourself will grow and develop within you. Therefore, always imagine what kind of person you want to become.
The first thing you need to do before changing your character is to learn to think positively. There is an interesting technique that can help you with this. Take a simple rubber band for money and put it on your hand. As soon as a negative thought creeps into your head, you immediately pull back the rubber band and “click” - you remember that everything is good, and it will be even better. The habit of controlling your thoughts and not letting yourself slide into the swamp of envy, resentment, scandals will make you an optimist, and happiness without optimism is impossible.
Second step: self-love.
The second thing without which you won’t be able to change your character is self-love. Every morning, when you wake up and sweetly stretch, go to the mirror, smile and say: “I love you.” Repeat to yourself as often as possible that every minute you become better, kinder, more confident. This kind of auto-training will set the right mood for the whole day, and once you have the right setting, you will follow it automatically.
Not loving yourself because you don't like your character is pointless. Until you accept yourself as you are, you will be filled with negativity towards yourself, and this only destroys. You, on the contrary, need to learn to create - to create a new person who will correspond to your ideas.
Step three: behavior analysis.
Character is a set of habits to react in some way to emerging situations. Considering that life consists of repeating moments, learn to analyze your behavior.
A great idea would be to start keeping a diary. Describe what happened to you during the day, how you behaved and what you should have done.
If you do not experience discomfort in communicating with other people and live in harmony with yourself, perhaps you do not need change. You should not rely on the opinion of one person who doesn’t like something about you.
Regardless of what character trait you decide to fight, you will need to follow a simple plan. First, determine what exactly is hidden behind this problem, what caused it, and what you want to replace it with.
Research has shown that a habit is formed within 30 days. This means that if you control your emotions for a month, then after this time the changes will be obvious. If the list of what you want to change is quite extensive, highlight the main points (1-2) that you will work on first.
Instructions for changing your nature
Rule 1. Find a role model.
If you can’t control yourself on your own, choose an idol or role model.
At moments when you want to get angry or start making trouble, stop and think about what your idol would do in your place.
Rule 2. To change your character, you need to want it.
This rule is the most important basis for changing character.
If your environment does not like your character, but you are completely satisfied with it, then it is better to change your environment, not yourself. After all, until you yourself want to change, you cannot do anything.
Rule 3. Take a systematic approach.
Once you start changing your character, develop a system.
First, write down on paper all your character traits that could use some tweaking. After that, next to each trait, write down the reasons why you want to change it. Seeing the full picture, in the future it will be easier for you to change and easier to control yourself.
Remember, in changing your character, you first need to develop a habit. And this is the most difficult thing. After all, if you are used to yelling at every little thing, it will be extremely difficult to restrain yourself at first. However, having overcome the initial barrier, it will be easier to further change your character.
Rule 4. To change your character, start controlling yourself.
Having decided to change your character, begin to control yourself and your emotions. For example, if your negative trait is temper, then there is only one way to deal with it. The next time you want to lose your temper or start screaming, take a break, close your eyes and slowly count to 10. I am sure that after this, in 90% of cases you will no longer feel like screaming.
Rule 5. Find your soul mate.
In this case, you have to find a quarrelsome and angry person just like you. Perhaps with him you will quickly find mutual language. But besides this, you will quickly realize what not to do and begin to subconsciously change your character.
Rule 6. Do a good deed.
Moreover, it will not matter at all what kind of good deed you did. The act of showing kindness is important. Good deeds make us better, develop responsiveness and compassion in us.
To get started you can:
1) help grandma cross the road,
2) pick up a stray kitten,
3) help someone in need with money.
Conclusion
I bet a lot of people are unhappy with their character. I have no doubt that this applies to you too, since you are reading this article. However, only a few are ready to act to change it.
Our character is constantly changing due to current circumstances. We just don't always notice it. But some of his features remain unchanged since childhood. They are the ones we most often dislike the most. And these are the ones we dream of changing. This could be shyness, lack of restraint, outbursts of causeless anger and much more.
It is almost impossible to change immediately. But, if you constantly monitor yourself, even if not immediately, your character may change. The main rule is to want to change for yourself, not for the sake of others. Until you yourself want to become a different person, nothing will work out for you. And to speed up the process, you must constantly keep before your eyes the image of who you want to become.
Good luck!
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
You can often hear the phrase: “Character is given to a person from birth.” But it happens that some character traits become the cause of unpleasant events in life. And then the question arises, is it possible to change your disposition? According to psychologists, a person must constantly work on himself - if something prevents him from achieving success in life, then he must get rid of it.
There is also the exact opposite opinion - character cannot be changed. Is it really? Today we will talk about how you can change your character. I will present to your attention the most effective advice from psychologists to help change habits and lifestyle.
When a bad temper or, conversely, lack of self-confidence becomes the cause of troubles and problems, then there is a desire to dramatically change something in your life. And it is necessary to start with character.
Psychologists have different opinions about whether it is possible to change one's character. Some of them believe that character cannot be changed, and bad habits or weaknesses need to be “turned around” so that they subsequently help a person achieve the highest benefits. Another opinion of experts in the field of psychology is that it is necessary to get rid of habits that interfere with a normal life. And you can do this, you just need to want it, and then start working hard on yourself.
What is character? These are habits, a way of thinking, behavioral foundations and a certain type of response to various situations. Human character has no genetic basis, that is, it cannot be passed on by inheritance. What kind of person a person will be like depends on numerous factors. Firstly, upbringing has a strong influence on character. Secondly, lifestyle and the surrounding atmosphere are also the “building blocks” that form the basis of character.
Throughout life, a person's character changes. The first changes begin to appear in childhood - most children are kind, sympathetic, straightforward and naive. Then changes occur in adolescence - aggressiveness and irritability appear. At a young age, a person becomes purposeful, self-confident, decisive or, conversely, passive, fearful and distrustful. In an adult, character can change depending on the situation.
For example, even the most calm and spontaneous person will become active and decisive if an angry beast appears in front of him. An energetic and determined person at work becomes lazy and good-natured at home.
What do the characteristics depend on?
So, we see that character can be changed. How can you change your character? The first place to start is by changing habits or ways of reacting in certain situations. Secondly, you need to understand that after certain character traits are changed, you will need to constantly “work” on them.
The ability to change your temper depends on numerous factors:
- age - the older a person is, the more difficult it is for him to “work” on himself and try to change something in himself.”
- congenital characteristics - for some people the ability to change their character is “innate” by nature, others have to make great efforts to correct something in themselves.
- education - only from parents or close relatives can you learn about such concepts as good and evil, independence and softness, determination and laziness;
- interests are an indicator of character that determines a person’s behavioral foundations;
- social circle - the people around you have big influence on the habits and behavior of a particular person.
Character Traits You Need to Get Rid of
Psychologists identify 3 character traits that prevent a person from achieving the benefits of life. Accordingly, if these traits “guide” behavior, then it will be very difficult to change something within yourself.
Before you change your character, you need to get rid of the following traits forever:
- Laziness. It is difficult for a lazy person to develop discipline. That is, he will try to put off all important things “for tomorrow,” since he is too lazy to do them today.
- Low self-esteem. Anyone who does not love himself is unable to improve his life. It is very important to learn not just to like yourself, but to love yourself. Self-love develops self-confidence, and a self-confident person is able to cope with the most negative traits in order to become better and more ideal.
- Passivity and negative thinking. This point is inextricably linked with the previous one. It is impossible for such phrases to exist in the soul: “I can’t do this,” “I can’t do it,” “I can’t do better than others.” It is important to learn to always say: “Yes.”
How to change your character?
You can change your character. You just need to start working hard on yourself. By following the algorithm of the actions described below, you can eliminate from the character in the shortest possible time negative traits and gain positive sides.
Analysis of your own character
First, you need to identify the character traits that you will need to get rid of. This can be done very simply - take a sheet of paper, draw a vertical stripe on it, write down negative traits in one column, and a way to get rid of them in the other.
For example, a person is unsociable. You need to become sociable and sociable. This will be possible to achieve if a person begins to communicate more often with pleasant people, participate in social events, make acquaintances and take initiative in conversations with colleagues or partners.
Another example is a person who is weak and cowardly. In this case, you will need a lot of work on yourself. You can only overcome your fears if you “look them in the eyes.”
Awareness of the problem
Changing your character is not easy, and many people wonder whether it is necessary to do it. If such thoughts appear in your head, then you need to urgently eliminate them.
A simple way: you need to find a person who has the same negative traits (for example, cowardice or indecisiveness). Then, from the outside, you need to observe how he lives, what his problems are, how his negative trait prevents him from achieving success in life. Only after the problem has been “deciphered” will you immediately want to get rid of it.
Search for an idol
It is very useful to find an image of a person you want to be like. For example, if a colleague is decisive and purposeful, then he earns respect from his superiors, and they, in turn, regularly reward him with good bonuses. Of course, you want to be like such an active colleague.
Self-control
It will take time to get positive results. As psychologists say, it takes 21 days to change a habit. You will have to carefully monitor it at all times. own emotions, behavior and state of mind.
It is important to maintain consistency. That is, you cannot radically change your character right away, you need to do it gradually - first we change one trait, and then we begin to change others.
Promotion
Any work should be rewarded. Changing your character is a huge job, and you definitely need to get a worthy reward for it.
The best reward will be words of gratitude from your loved ones. To obtain good words addressed to you, you need to do something good and meaningful, for example, feed homeless puppies, help an old woman cross the road, open the door in a store for a young mother with a stroller.
Conclusion
- A person's character is the basis of his life. Character is not just behavioral principles, it is habits and reactions to certain actions.
- It is possible to change your character towards improvement, but you must prepare for painstaking and responsible work. Only by changing the negative traits in yourself can you understand how close the path to happiness and success is.