It takes over us unnoticed. A stupid feeling of longing for the departed. This is not banal nostalgia that goes away like a runny nose. No, this is the destructive, destructive influence of past memories, events and people. How to get rid of melancholy, sadness, the past?
Such negative emotions, How constant depression, sadness and deep sadness, melancholy in the soul cause a person to feel hopelessness and incredible self-pity. I want to constantly shed tears, complain about my unhappy fate and evoke sympathy.
Today, many people know for themselves what it means to fall into depression and feel aching sadness and melancholy in their souls. Persistent depression is a serious mental disorder, although it is taken for granted by many modern life and is treated with special antidepressants. But these negative emotions cannot be cured with pills; their presence indicates serious problems and a person’s internal breakdown.
In a state of depression, a person, as a rule, feels very depressed, he is overcome by sadness and melancholy and sad thoughts, a person tends to feel sorry for himself, he feels complete loneliness and his lack of understanding by others, he does not even want to move. A person suppressed by melancholy and sadness can eat sweets (or drink alcohol) in order to somehow brighten up the joyless state. He may be tormented by joyless thoughts about how bad everything is, sometimes leading to thoughts of suicide.
A person can fall into deep sadness and depression due to various reasons: if an accident happened to him or someone close to him, problems at work, due to gloomy and cloudy weather, watching a sad movie or just like that, melancholy will come over his soul.
Depression and eternal melancholy are dangerous for a person; they not only reduce his vital activity and spoil his mood, but constant depression and sadness also threaten the emergence of serious health problems. In addition to gastrointestinal disorders from constant dissatisfaction with oneself and life, heart problems from tormenting experiences and melancholy, insomnia from heavy thoughts, problems with the musculoskeletal system from reluctance and fear to develop and move forward in life, constant depression also contributes to addiction to drugs. any means of avoiding problems (alcohol, drug addiction, food). Also, in the most extreme case, it leads to a complete reluctance to live, a feeling that a person is dying of melancholy.
Why is there sadness in my soul?
Of course, you should not blame external circumstances for the occurrence of your depression and deep sadness. There are many reasons for these negative emotions and they all lie not in external stimuli (which are only a reason), but inside the person himself. Of course, the reason to be sad is not the rainy weather outside, not a quarrel with a loved one, a passing car getting wet from head to toe, troubles at work, or an unexpected pimple popping up on your face. After all, some people easily perceive such “little things in life,” but for those susceptible to depression and melancholy, this is the greatest tragedy in life.
Like many other negative emotions, depression, sadness, melancholy and sadness appear in us as a result of certain events of the past, as a response to past grievances, psychological trauma, lack of attention and love. From birth, we accumulate information from adults about what is “good” and “bad,” we remember their reactions to certain events, and we copy emotions. If adults in a family perceive any life changes as a problem, their child will most likely learn to also react and become depressed when any obstacle arises.
“Everything is bad...” Where do we get such attitudes?
Also great importance has the attitude of those around us: if the child is not loved, they often scold, especially using rude words (such as “fool!”, “stupid!”), demonstrate in every possible way that we are unworthy of love or must carry out some instructions for this and tasks of adults - depression and sadness will become a defensive reaction of a disliked child to such indifference.
But depression, sadness in the soul and deep sadness that come over us from time to time are not the real us. These negative emotions are a kind of automatic machine that triggers in us every time. We get used to reacting this way, to perceive everything that happens as a problem. All previous life served as a reason for the accumulation of such automata within us:
negative attitudes fixed in us (“everything is bad,” “life is a complicated thing,” “this is a difficult problem,” “you can’t handle it”), which we receive more often from our relatives;
events of the past, when we were no longer ready to calmly accept them (for example, a breakup, an unhappy first love, a bad grade at school, for which we were severely scolded) and all the conclusions drawn as a result of them;
the dislike of loved ones, which we turned against ourselves (“I’m not handsome,” “fat”);
patterns of response and behavior that we have adopted from others (oohs and sighs, tears, cautionary tales with unhappy endings, sad films, sad songs).
To get rid of depression, deep melancholy, sadness in the soul and your endless sadness on your own, you need to go a long way and go to similar personal deposits of mental material that is stored in our subconscious. Otherwise, you will not be able to cope with depression. All of the above, as well as a lot of other material (it is different for each person, approximate sketches are given here) - all this feeds the state of depression on a daily basis.
A person will not just die of melancholy and feel sadness in his soul. The reasons are in it. It is necessary to remove the charge from this material (otherwise, deprogram the subconscious). After all, if you start to extract from your memory episodes that were once especially traumatic, you may feel the same pain as you once did, you will also want to cry and feel sorry for yourself. This confirms that the material has a charge and it awakens depression and melancholy in a person again and again. The only thing is that you need to be prepared for long-term work, because a person has been accumulating his negativity for many years and it will not be possible to simply get rid of it. But this is quite possible if you work for total results and don’t mess around. I wish everyone to know the joy of life, without tears, depression, sadness and sadness!
How to get rid of despondency:
1. Find the reasons.
Think about what is the cause or causes of your despondency. As a rule, this is a routine that we are forced to do in everyday life or at work. And, accordingly, fatigue from total immersion in all this multitude of small and again boring, routine, but, as it seems, necessary, irrevocable and urgent matters. When, because of this routine, we do not see the goal and generally do not understand what and how. When for some foreseeable period of time - 2 - 3 days we do not see the results of our efforts, that is, we do not receive feedback from the work being done and are immersed only in the process of work, then this reduces motivation and plunges us into despondency .
Sometimes, paradoxically, the cause of despondency, on the contrary, can be complete relaxation. And hence the feeling of one’s own uselessness, restlessness and often loneliness.
2. Find a solution.
In any case, think about what can be qualitatively changed in your lifestyle and in your lifestyle in general? Also think about how you can radically reverse the situation. Those. If you were previously immersed in many things and worked without rest, then you need relaxation.
A sudden change of environment is needed - a vacation, a trip to the mountains, to a sanatorium in Kislovodsk, etc. If, on the contrary, you have been suffering from idleness and uselessness, urgent involvement in some kind of active work- getting a relevant job or two at once, new acquaintances, possibly new personal relationships, marriage or some other social activity, joining some group of active people, a club of interests, for example. In other words, you need to bring something significantly, qualitatively new into life.
Thus, if you carefully and consciously approach this problem, you will find a solution without the help of specialists. It is important here not to delay and not allow yourself to plunge into a state of despondency for a long time. As with any other problem, the disease can be easily overcome in the early stages. Chronic despondency can turn into depression, which is considered one of the most difficult conditions to treat. And in this case, it is unlikely that you will be able to do without the help of a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist. So be attentive and caring about yourself and your condition.
- Do you remember how in childhood, after an injection, you were treated to something sweet - and your mood immediately lifted? This will work now! After all, sweets produce endorphin in the body - the hormone of happiness. Buy a cake, pastry or just chocolate, pour some hot strong tea and relax in a comfortable chair. Such a pastime will lift your spirits and give you strength.
- Another way to get a dose of endorphin is physical activity. Go for a run, fitness, gym... This will not only lift your mood, but also help tone your muscles.
- This method is especially relevant and popular for the fairer sex - shopping. If you don’t have enough money to buy something new, you can just call your friends and have fun trying on a variety of outfits. It's great to go to a fancy dress store and see yourself in different looks.
- If you feel sad because you don't have someone to talk to, a great option is to get a pet. No matter who you choose, the animal requires care, participation and communication. If you are needed and loved, then your mood lifts!
- Well, perhaps the most effective and fun way to get rid of depression is sex. It will cheer up both you and your partner, give you a boost of energy for the coming day, or allow you to fall asleep sweetly for the coming night - it depends on who you are.
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Dejection is a passion that is familiar to everyone. It manifests itself in different ways, often hiding behind some decent appearance and therefore it can be difficult to distinguish. But you need to be able to distinguish it, because this passion is insidious and very dangerous. She, as she says, is all-conquering death. What is despondency?
Dejection is a mortal sin!
It manifests itself in two forms - sometimes as unbearable boredom, melancholy, and sometimes as laziness and indifference to spiritual pursuits. In the latter case, a person may not have a sad appearance at all; on the contrary, he can have fun, joke and treat everything with some kind of liveliness. Everything except reading Holy Scripture, prayer and other spiritual activities.
People who are not believers, due to the emptiness in their souls, are often in a state of extreme despondency. I think that most cases of the so-called are precisely despondency in the extreme. I will tell you such an incident from my youth. One person I knew closely whose father committed suicide. And this young man fell into a state of depression - to such an extent that for weeks he lay with his face to the wall, and he did not need anything. His mother was an unbeliever and had a middle-aged Teacher Education and therefore she believed that she knew everything. And she drove him even further with her moralizing. It ended up that their neighbor, a believing grandmother, took pity on this guy and persuaded him to go to church. He started going to church.
Jesus Prayer
He understood little, observed little, but walked from time to time. He immediately felt much better. Then he became acquainted with our company, became involved in it, and since we tried to lead a Christian life and more or less strictly observe fasts, he, too, began to behave the same way. He felt even better. Then, when we told him about how to deal with passions and in particular with despondency, he began to watch his soul, pray and completely gave up all kinds of medicine, began normal person. True, he had to lie to the doctors. They asked him: “Well, how?”, he said: “Nothing.” “Are you taking medicine?” - “I drink, it helps a lot.” If he had said that he didn’t drink, they might have forcibly put him in the hospital - that was the time. But in reality he didn’t take anything. Here is an example of the fact that depression is simply a person’s state of mind, despondency from the fact that there is no God in the soul.
Doesn't a believer feel despondent?
This condition is typical for many people. Moreover, we see around us people who are not only despondent, but in the deepest despair. One famous ascetic of our time said that modern unbelief is a consequence of despair, all of humanity has fallen into despair. That is, people feel such hopelessness, they are so desperate for their salvation that they already deny the existence of God in order to be able to live in peace. But this only intensifies the melancholy, and the person tries to drown it out with something. For example, he starts drinking and tries in this rude way to find some kind of peace of mind. A more sophisticated way to drown out inner melancholy is a person’s desire to enjoy works of art, to some kind of abstract activity.
But, of course, it would be wrong to say that a believer does not experience despondency. It happens, and very often. Now I will not talk about despondency as a heavy battle brought on by demons, but I will talk about the type of despondency that occurs most often - laziness. This is what St. Gregory of Sinaite calls despondency. When he lists the main passions, instead of the word “despondency” he says ““. This is the same laziness, only in relation to spiritual and moral subjects. I don’t want to go to church, I don’t want to pray, read the Holy Scriptures and generally work on my soul. Why?
Cleanse the soul
Because we see how many passions there are in our soul and how much needs to be done to cleanse it. As happens in life: you come, see that you need to chop a huge pile of firewood, and you immediately think: “Come on! Maybe somehow we’ll endure it, we’ll freeze, we’ll wrap ourselves in a sheepskin coat, we’ll cover ourselves with a blanket...” There is such a good example in Otechnik. The father sent his son to cultivate the field. He came, saw that it was all overgrown with weeds, became depressed and went to bed; then he got up, looked at the field and went back to sleep. He did this for several days. When his father came and asked why he had not done anything yet, he replied that he was depressed because there was a lot of work, and that’s why he was sleeping. Then his father told him that if every day he cleared at least the same area as he occupies during sleep, then the matter would have already progressed. The son got to work and, with God’s help, gradually cleaned everything up.
This is familiar to everyone. When there is a lot of work, a person gets scared, gives up and begins to think that “you still can’t do all the work.” This quality of ours, which manifests itself in ordinary human affairs and activities, makes itself felt in spiritual life. Something is not given to us - and we immediately say: “I can’t immediately pray like Elijah the prophet, through whose prayer it began to rain, then I won’t do it at all.” Or: “I’ve been asceticizing for three whole days, but I still don’t have unceasing prayer - what is it?” Or: “I’ve been going to church every Sunday for three years now, but I still don’t have dispassion - how can that be?”
An excuse for despondency
It seems to us that there is an excuse for our despondency: “I can’t do it.” But this is really just an excuse. After all, if a person has failures in some everyday affairs, then what does he do? He wanted to go to college, but was not prepared and could not pass, for example, chemistry. What does he start doing if he still wants to study at this institute? He hires tutors, prepares carefully, and teaches chemistry. The following year he manages to pass the exam - and he enters the institute. Nobody is surprised by this. Everything is fine. It is the same in spiritual life: when a person wants to acquire any virtue and for some reason fails, he must also draw a conclusion about why this happened and in what respect he needs to improve.
Let's say he does everything right, but gives in to pride. Therefore, he needs to pay attention to fighting it. Or: he does everything right, but does not have sufficient zeal for prayer, he prays absent-mindedly. This means that he needs to force himself to pray. But we don’t want to make things so simple elementary conclusions, which in an ordinary situation they would do without any outside prompting. And we begin to become discouraged instead of starting to work. It didn’t work the first time, it will work the second, the third, but it will definitely work. Even this very struggle, the very forcing of oneself to correct oneself in one way or another already brings grace to a person’s soul.
A trick to combating depression
How to deal with despondency? This can be done in different ways. For some, even eating tasty food helps at times. But if you fight only in this way and don’t use anything else, then there may not be despondency, but everything else will be there. The Monk John Climacus sometimes advises using this trick in the fight against anger. He says: “When you are overcome by anger, you can give some small comfort to your belly.” But it’s good if it’s small, otherwise sometimes a person will be so comforted - to the point of self-forgetfulness! Of course, this is unreasonable. It is permissible to use another trick: make a joke. A priest can make a joke at the right time and with an innocent joke put a person in a cheerful mood. Even if it is not spiritual joy, it is still better than despondency. But this, again, is a trick - a small one that does not fundamentally solve the issue.
The best remedy for depression
And if we approach the problem seriously, then, of course, the best remedy for despondency is prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer. In addition, during times of despondency, you must try your best to do everything as usual, that is, do not give up your usual activities, do not abandon the prayer rule, force yourself to pray intensely, with attention. Mortal memory also helps a lot in this battle. It seems strange: a person remembers death - and his despondency goes away. On the contrary, one should be despondent. However, it is not.
It is the memory of death, of the future life that sobers a person. When he begins to think about eternity, he realizes that against this background all earthly sorrows are insignificant - not only minor, but also serious: a serious battle with one or another type of sin or a dangerous illness, one’s own or those of loved ones. Thanks to mortal memory, everything appears in a different way, namely, in its true light. A person sobers up and understands that in reality everything that brings him into a state of despondency and disarms him is a mirage and that there is no need to attach importance to all of this.
The main thing in the fight against despondency is self-force
If we don’t force ourselves, then no advice, no miraculous power or supernatural help from above will help us. We must understand that we are free beings and much depends on our own choices. The Lord is always ready to help us, we can say that He has already rushed to our aid, but we neglect this help. We do not notice it because we plunge into the darkness of despondency to such an extent that we do not want to respond even a little to this Divine action that strengthens us in the struggle. It happens that a person will not even do anything, but will simply endure despondency and will not leave his usual work or attend divine services - and the grace of God immediately comforts his heart, he feels that the Lord is with him.
The opposite of laziness, as you know, is hard work. So you need to acquire spiritual diligence. Labor is, as they say, difficult. We may not want to do something, but we know that it is necessary, and we do it, overcoming fatigue and sometimes pain. Work is caused by necessity - we do not do everything only with pleasure - and for the most part it brings comfort only when we have already completed the work and see its result. Even when we start something with pleasure, we still inevitably encounter difficulties and the desire to quit it arises. But imagine, a surgeon is performing an operation, but it’s been delayed for some reason, it’s been going on for three whole hours, and he throws the scalpel: “Let someone else stitch it up, but I’m tired of standing here, already sweating.” What will happen then?
Laziness in the human soul
Laziness in any everyday matter is, of course, bad for a person’s soul, but laziness in a spiritual sense is much worse. If the Lord may yet condescend to someone who is lazy in work and have mercy on him, then for someone who is lazy in prayer, struggling with thoughts and passions, there is no longer any way out. You should not think that the struggle for your salvation is such an easy and simple thing that there should be no obstacles in it. The Kingdom of Heaven is in need. This compulsion is necessary throughout your life, and not so that now you understand everything, work for three days, and then you get tired of it: they say, everything is fine. A person develops and, having changed for the better in some ways, must again and again force himself to achieve greater virtues. So he moves steadily towards eternal life, sometimes achieving the most sublime spiritual results, the most beautiful and, as it seemed to him before, difficult to achieve virtues.
Question answer:
Question
- Father, I can’t seem to improve myself, and this makes me very sad. It seems impossible not to be discouraged. After all, it is obvious to both myself and others that I remain as passionate as before. This makes me want to cry. How not to give in to despondency, and in general, how to deal with the fact that you want to cry?
Avva Evpreniy:
Knowing that God is faithful and omnipotent, believe in Him - and you will be a partaker of His benefits. If you become discouraged and remain inactive, then you do not believe.
Reverend Abba Isaiah:
Demons bring despondency to the soul, wondering whether its patience will be exhausted in the long wait for God’s mercy, whether it will abandon the very life of God, recognizing it as unbearably difficult. But if we have love, patience and self-control, the demons will not succeed in any of their intentions...
Indulging in despondency, we certainly become traitors to ourselves. A courageous heart helps the soul according to God, and despondency helps everything that is evil.
Let us not give room for despondency in our hearts, so that it does not deprive us of the opportunity to inherit the Promised Land.
Avoid despondency, for it destroys all the fruits of asceticism.
Do not give in to despondency in any work, so that the enemy does not intensify his hostile actions in you.
Venerable Ephraim the Syrian:
The memory of death and punishment is a sword against the demon of despondency.
He who gives himself over to despondency is as far from being patient as a sick man is from a healthy man.
Prayer and constant meditation on God serve to eradicate despondency; reflection is protected by abstinence, and abstinence by bodily labor.
Venerable Macarius of Egypt:
Malice always has the same trick - to plunge us into despondency during sorrow in order to deprive us of hope in the Lord.
Saint John Chrysostom:
Just as thieves at nightfall, having extinguished the fire, can easily steal property and kill its owners, so the devil, instead of bringing despondency into night and darkness, tries to steal all protective thoughts in order to inflict countless wounds on the soul, deprived of them and helpless.
Excessive despondency is more harmful than any demonic action, because even if demons rule in someone, they rule through despondency.
Dejection and constant worry can crush the strength of the soul and bring it to extreme exhaustion.
In order not to lose heart in any difficult circumstances, let us diligently listen to the stories of Scripture.
Whoever feeds on good hopes, nothing can plunge him into despondency.
Dejection is a grave torment of the soul, an unspeakable torment and a punishment more bitter than any punishment or torment.
We will never lose heart in sorrows and, carried away by our thoughts, we will not give in to despair. But, having great patience, let us be nourished by hope, knowing the good Providence of the Lord for us.
Truly, despondency is a grave torment of souls, a kind of unspeakable torment and punishment, worse than any punishment and torment. And indeed, it is like a deadly worm, touching not only the flesh, but also the soul itself; it is a moth that eats not only bones, but also the mind; a constant executioner, not cutting ribs, but destroying even the strength of the soul; continuous night, impenetrable darkness, storm, hurricane, secret heat that burns more powerful than any flame, war without truce, disease that obscures much of what is perceived by vision. Both the sun and this bright air seem to weigh down those in this state, and noon itself seems like deep night to them.
That is why the wondrous prophet, pointing to this, said: the sun will set for them at noon (Amos 8, 9), not because the star is hidden, and not because its usual course is interrupted, but because the soul that is in a state of despondency, in the brightest part of the day he imagines night.
Truly, the darkness of the night is not as great as the great night of despondency, which does not appear according to the law of nature, but comes with the darkness of thoughts - some kind of terrible and unbearable night, with a stern appearance, the most cruel - more merciless than any tyrant, not inferior to anyone who tries to fight it, but often holds the captive soul stronger than adamant, when the latter does not have great wisdom.
...death, which inspires such fear... is much easier than despondency.
And again, that glorious Elijah (I will not leave him even now), after fleeing and leaving Palestine, unable to bear the burden of despondency - and indeed, he was very depressed: the one who wrote the story pointed out this, saying that he left for the sake of his soul (3 Kings 19:3) - listen to what he says in his prayer: now it is sufficient, O Lord, take my soul from me, for I am not my best father (4). So [death] is a monster, this highest degree he asks for punishment, this chapter of evil, this retribution for every sin as desired and wants to receive it as mercy. So despondent worse than death: to avoid the former, he resorts to the latter.
Venerable John Cassian the Roman:
Blessed David well expressed the harm of this disease: “My soul melts away from sorrow” (Ps. 119:28) - not the body, but the soul melts away. For truly the soul melts away, weakens for virtues and spiritual feelings, when it is wounded by the arrow of despondency.
Whoever it begins to overcome, it will force him to remain lazy, careless, without any spiritual success; then he will make you fickle, idle, and careless in any matter.
From despondency comes idleness, drowsiness, timelessness, restlessness, wandering, fickleness of mind and body, talkativeness and curiosity.
The true ascetic of Christ, who wants to legitimately strive for the sake of perfection, must hasten to drive out this disease - despondency - from the recesses of his soul and strive against the evil spirit of despondency, so as not to fall crushed by the arrow of sleep.
Venerable Isaac the Syrian:
Dejection is born from a soaring mind, and a soaring mind - from idleness, vain readings and conversations, or from a satiated belly.
Venerable John Climacus:
Dejection sometimes comes from pleasure, and sometimes because a person has no fear of God.
I learned that the demon of despondency precedes the demon of fornication and prepares the way for it, so that, by completely relaxing and plunging the body into sleep, it allows the demon of fornication to carry out defilements, as if in reality.
Dejection is often one of the branches, one of the first offspring of verbosity.
Dejection is relaxation of the soul and exhaustion of the mind, neglect of the Christian feat, hatred of the vow, a pleaser of worldly people, a slanderer of God - as if He is unmerciful and inhumane; in psalmody it is weak, in prayer it is weak, in physical service it is strong as iron, in handicraft it is not lazy, in obedience it is hypocritical.
This evil spirit reminds those who begin to pray of the necessary things to do and uses every trick to distract us from the conversation with the Lord, like a bridle, with some plausible pretext.
Each of the other passions is abolished by one virtue that is opposite to it, but despondency for a Christian is an all-destroying death.
During times of despondency, ascetics are discovered, and nothing brings so many crowns to a Christian as despondency (when fighting against it).
Tell us, O you, careless and slack, who gave birth to you and what are your offspring? Who is fighting against you? And who is your killer? And despondency answers: “In true novices, I have no place to lay my head... I have many parents: sometimes insensibility of the soul, sometimes forgetfulness of heavenly blessings, and sometimes excessive labor. My fiends who are with me: changes of place, neglect of the commandments of the spiritual father, forgetfulness of the Last Judgment, and sometimes abandonment of Christian vows. And my opponents who bind me: psalmody with handicraft. My enemy is the thought of death; prayer with the firm hope of being worthy of eternal blessings kills me."
Let us now bind this tormentor with the memory of our sins; We will beat him with handicrafts, we will entice him with thoughts of future blessings, and we will kill him with the sword of prayer with hope in the Lord.
Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk:
The enemy sends despondency to hinder prayer.
If you succumb to despondency and boredom, even greater despondency will rise upon you and drive you out of the monastery in shame. And if you stand against him and defeat him in the prescribed manner, then victory will always be followed by joy, consolation and great spiritual strength. And those who strive always experience alternately sadness and joy. Just as under the sky it is sometimes gloomy, sometimes stormy, sometimes sunny, so in our soul there is sometimes sadness, sometimes temptation, like a storm, sometimes consolation and joy, like clear weather; and just as sunny days are pleasant after bad weather, so after temptation and sorrow there is sweet consolation.
From your letter I see that despondency has come over you. This passion is fierce, with which Christians who want to be saved must struggle a lot. She also fights those people who have bread and everything ready, and especially those who live in solitude. I advise you the following: convince yourself and force yourself to pray and do every good deed, even though you don’t want to. Just as people whip a lazy horse to make it walk or run, so we need to force ourselves to do everything, and especially to pray. Seeing such work and diligence, the Lord will give desire and zeal. Habit and arouses a desire for prayer and seems to draw one to it and to every good deed. Get used to it and get used to it, and the habit itself will lead you to prayer and all good things. Diligence is also helped by changing activities, that is, when you do one and the other alternately. Do this too: either pray, then do something with your hands, then read a book, then talk about your soul and eternal salvation and other things, that is, pray, read a book, do handicrafts, and pray again, and do something else again. . And when strong despondency sets in, leave the room and, while walking, talk about Christ and other things, and, while talking, raise your mind to God and pray. You will drive away despondency.
The memory of death, which comes unexpectedly, the memory of the judgment of Christ and the memory of eternal torment and eternal bliss drives away despondency. Talk about them. Pray and cry out to the Lord, so that He Himself will give you zeal and desire; Without Him we are not fit for any work. When you do this, believe me that little by little you will acquire desire and zeal. God requires work and deeds from us and promised to help those who work. Work hard, may the Lord help you. He helps those who work, not those who lie down and doze.
You must often pray to God, ask Him for help, work, and not let the slightest amount of time pass without something to do - this way the boredom will pass.
A certain brother, exposed to temptation and embarrassment, abandoned the monastic rules. And when he wanted to start fulfilling the rule again, he encountered obstacles from embarrassment and said to himself: “When will I return to the state in which I was before?” And, despondent, he did not find the strength to begin the monastic feat. He went to an old man and told him everything. The elder in response told him the following parable.
One man had land that, due to his neglect, became barren and overgrown with weeds and thorns. He needed to cultivate it, and he said to his son: “Go, clear our field.” The son went, but when he saw that it was overgrown with weeds, he lost heart and said to himself: “Will I ever eradicate all these weeds and cleanse the land?” With these words he lay down on the ground and went to sleep; He did this for many days. Then the father came to see what had been done and saw that nothing had been done. He said to his son: “Why haven’t you done anything yet?” The young man answered his father: “I saw how many weeds there were, and I refused to work.” And the father said: “If every day you cultivated at least such a piece of land as you occupy while lying on it, then your work would little by little advance.” The young man acted according to his father’s instructions, and a short time the field was cleared and cultivated. So you, brother, little by little enter into the feat and do not lose heart, and God, by His grace, will raise you to your previous state." Hearing this, the brother left and, patiently staying in his cell, acted as he was taught by the elder. Having found spiritual peace , he prospered in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Believers often appear to others as dull people who are forced to limit themselves in many ways. In fact, a Christian should be joyful - after all, having found the Lord in his soul, he places all his worries and sorrows on Him. The great saints were energetic and kind, attentive to others, and never spent their time idle.
Therefore, if someone who calls himself a believer is often sad, his soul is anxious, and he doesn’t want to do anything, he may have fallen into the sin of despondency. What is this, how to deal with adversity, what can it lead to if you don’t pay attention to this state of mind in time?
It would seem that the name speaks for itself, a sad person is sad, lethargic, he doesn’t want anything. But is this the only way to exhaust the state of despondency? Wikipedia characterizes it as one of the mortal sins (threatening the soul with eternal torment) sins. Everyone has a bad mood; this is not the main sign of the sin of despondency. What is the difference between simple sadness and severe spiritual illness?
- A person does not want (sometimes cannot) fulfill his basic duties.
- He is constantly in apathy, nothing can interest him.
- He accuses the Lord of being too strict with him and complains about fate and those around him.
- Neglects his Christian duties - does not attend church, does not pray, does not read the Holy Scriptures.
In the Catholic tradition it is also considered a very dangerous condition that leads to many other sins. For example, to laziness, neglect of your body, love of entertainment, etc.
Sometimes this misfortune befalls the best of the best - it seems that just yesterday a member of the church community was eager to take on a new feat of prayer, but today he completely abandoned it. In such a situation, we must remember that The Lord specifically sends this temptation, so that a person fights with it and grows spiritually.
It happens that sadness and reluctance to get down to business indicate that the ascetic was previously very arrogant and proud. But a true Christian must carry humility in his soul. This means that everything good that is in the soul comes from God, therefore one must ask Him for help, without relying on own strength.
The Holy Fathers knew firsthand about despondency. Life in monastic solitude reveals the most terrible vices and makes demons more actively attack ascetics.
Saint Theophan wrote that to be despondent means to be bored with any activity. This could be regular housework or a prayer rule. The monk wants to give up everything; he is no longer happy with either his stay in the temple or his work for the benefit of the monastery.
This condition can last quite a while for a long time. Having experienced a feeling of spiritual uplift several times after prayer, a person can become very sad when he feels only coldness and lack of faith inside.
To lose heart - what does this mean from the point of view of the holy fathers? There is a difference between ordinary sadness and... Sadness is a temporary phenomenon; it is a normal reaction to external events. However, the person does not lose his legal capacity. Time passes and the normal state returns. Sin can try to defeat a person at any moment. It seems that everything is fine, but a heaviness appears in the soul, doubts torment, and melancholy appears.
Spiritual illness has quite visible physical manifestations.
- The cycle of rest and wakefulness is disrupted - either insomnia overcomes or drowsiness sets in.
- Digestion is upset - constipation torments.
- A person overeats or, conversely, loses his appetite.
- Fatigue sets in quickly - weakness, pain in the heart area overcomes, muscles become sluggish.
Dejection is closely related to physical relaxation. That's why the monks called him "midday demon". Monks get up very early, so at noon it is time for lunch for them. And after eating, many people feel sleepy. This is where danger lurks for the careless.
Consequences, how to deal with them
Why should this sin be avoided at all costs? It would seem that in bad mood there is no particular danger. But the holy fathers warn that this path leads to the abyss. A person, falling under the influence of a depressive state, slides deeper and deeper. Problems grow like a snowball, which can ultimately lead to an unwillingness to live. A suicide is the only sin that cannot be prayed away, because by doing it, a person turns away from God.
The worst thing is that despair makes yesterday's Christian lose faith in God. For him, the Lord is no longer omnipotent, good and unchanging. By falling into sinful murmuring, the unfortunate person thereby rejects the salvation that Christ brought to the world. Humility gives way to pride, faith to arrogance. This is how Satan captures many souls. In fact, despondency makes you torment already here, and beyond the boundaries of earthly existence these torments intensify many times over.
This is what ordinary self-pity can lead to, and yet it is very characteristic of people of our time. How to deal with manifestations of weakness? You can also read about this from the holy righteous:
- Attacks of laziness and relaxation are treated with the usual coercion. Without it, any endeavor will fail.
- You shouldn't indulge yourself in everything. For every “I don’t want” there is a “need”. Getting up early, going to church, reading prayers - willpower is developed through overcoming one's own weaknesses. The only way.
- If you make at least one small victory over laziness every day, over time you can get an impressive result. The secret of success is very simple - regularity, consistency, consistency.
Everything good in life comes in exchange for effort.. The salvation of the soul is also accomplished - through compulsion, “taken by force,” as they say in the Gospel. To do this, you don’t need to perform great feats somewhere on the edge of the earth, but simply work on yourself day after day.
You can imagine the soul as a field overgrown with thorns (these are sins). To sow useful plants, you first need to weed out the weeds. But at first, the work may seem simply impossible. And here you may want to give up. This is exactly what the monks warn about - you cannot lose heart and give up! Even if you cultivate a small area every day, over time the field can grow a good crop.
Spiritual Beacon
Very important in times of despair don't be alone, although it seems like a good idea. On the contrary, we need to ask for help from people more experienced in spiritual life. If a Christian has not yet joined the church, then it is better to quickly start the process. This will help you not to lose heart and get in good shape.
To combat despondency, the usual church sacraments are used:
- confession;
If your church needs help, you should do volunteer work. The priest will tell you what exactly needs to be done. For men there is always physical work on the territory, for women - obedience in the temple. Involvement in a common cause will have a very beneficial effect on both the psyche and spiritual state of the sufferer. Many people built a right relationship with God in this way, some even decided to follow the spiritual path.
A Christian should always remember that we need to ask the saints for help in prayers. It may seem different, but there is always a choice: to succumb to circumstances or turn to the Lord, pour out your sadness and get down to business.
Don't wallow in self-pity, This dangerous path. Some people like it when others express sympathy and pity. To prevent despondency from developing into despair, you need to be attentive to what is happening in the soul.
How not to lose faith in faith
The state in which the heart has frozen the word is well known to experienced confessors. It is one of the signs of despondency. And the reason is the love of entertainment, overeating, laziness. Or the Lord allows it as a test. A person who has grown cold begins to forget not only all the good things that happened in his life, but also pushes God into the background. It becomes not the meaning of life, but some kind of abstract idea.
A Christian loses interest in spiritual life and does not want to participate in prayers and sacraments. And these steps lead to complete spiritual degradation. To avoid it, you must carefully prepare for confession, accept the Holy Gifts (communion), and force yourself to go to church more often. Here are some more tips from experienced priests:
- Reading the Holy Scriptures and spiritual books is useful;
- Behind every ordinary thing we must try to see the providence of God, the mercy of the Creator;
- You need to find something to do for yourself that will benefit others. After all, it is easiest for a demon to get close to an idle person.
The most powerful weapon
Miraculously, Christ is able to revive a withered soul, restore to it the joy of life, the ability to once again perceive the life-giving grace of the Holy Spirit. A the remedy for healing is available to everyone, always and under any circumstances - this is. In a state of despondency, demons suggest that it is not worth starting and that it will not help. This is because holy words are the only thing that drives them away.
This remedy fights the very root of any sin, because prayerful groaning is directed towards God and demonstrates faith in Him. Even if the words have to be spoken forcefully, they break down the invisible wall erected by sin between the human heart and the Savior.
You don't have to start right away a large number of long prayers. A weakened soul may not be able to withstand this, and then the ascetic will slide into an even deeper abyss of despair. You should start with the shortest ones:
- "Lord have mercy!"
- “Virgin Mother of God” (read in dozens, starting with one, gradually increasing).
- "Thank God for everything!"
We must try to find the bright side in any event. Do not try to get rid of trials and tribulations, but endure them patiently, even with gratitude. After all, the Lord is already preparing an eternal reward for those who are faithful to the end. According to the testimony of the Church Fathers, it is incommensurably greater than any earthly suffering.
Z Hello, our dear visitors!
The sinful spirit of despondency, from time to time, covers (with rare exceptions) the soul of every person. Dejection, in literally words, poisons life, sometimes giving rise to dangerous suicidal thoughts... This terrible spirit must be fought at the very beginning of its appearance.
One Orthodox woman asked the following questions:
E there is a desire to go to another world. How to get out of this state? Is it possible to mourn without losing heart? How to get rid of despondency?
Archimandrite Ambrose (Fontrier) answers:
"H For this desire to be salutary, you need to prepare your soul, because with a dirty soul you will only end up in hell. We still have to work hard here on earth to serve the Lord God. We must constantly improve spiritually... In the meantime, the state in which we are now does not correspond to the Kingdom of Heaven. Without correcting ourselves here, we will not correct ourselves there either, and nothing unclean enters the Kingdom of Heaven. As we are, we will remain so...
If you and I have achieved such perfection that we no longer have anger, irritation, resentment, or jealousy, and are in love for God and neighbor, then there is no reason for us to flee from this world. The time for peace has already come for our souls. Such a soul does not strive to move into that world; it is aware of its imperfection.
Sometimes it happens that a person lives a long life - 90-100 years. He has no physical strength, but he still doesn’t die. This is because, perhaps, there are unrepentant sins, the soul is not ready for heaven, but the Lord desires salvation for this soul. That is why there is no death for this soul. So don’t rush to leave this world.
- Is it possible to grieve without losing heart?
—Despondency is a mortal sin. Now, if your relative has died, it will be natural for you to grieve for him. But you cannot go far into this state, because after long, intense sorrow, despondency begins. Here, one of our mothers calls and says that she is in great sorrow - her sister has died. I told her: “Well, grieve a little, but you don’t need to become despondent. If it didn’t break – it didn’t break, then where would everything go? All people are born and die."
My mother died in my arms. I gave her communion, and an hour later she left, I sat next to her. Well, why should I cry? I know that she died with repentance, after communion - on the contrary, we should be glad that a person suffered and suffered here on earth. Some may think: “What a cruel heart he has!” Of course, there was grief, but I decided that it was better to rejoice at her good death than to cry.
- How to get rid of despondency?
— Usually, if a person does not have prayer, he is constantly depressed. Especially among the proud, those who love to judge their neighbor and pick him apart. You tell such a person that this cannot be done, he will be tormented by despondency, but he does not understand. He wants to be the boss, stick his nose into every hole, know everything, prove to everyone that he is right. Such a person places himself highly. And when he meets resistance, then scandals and insults occur - the grace of God leaves, and the person falls into despondency.
Especially often those who do not repent of their sins are depressed - their soul is not reconciled with God. Why does a person have no peace, quiet and joy? Because there is no repentance. Many will say: “ And I repent!“Repenting in words, in one tongue, is not enough. If you have repented that you condemned, thought bad things, then do not return to this again, just as in the words of the Apostle Peter: “The washed pig goes back to wallowing in the mud”(2 Pet.2:22).
Don’t return to this dirt, and then your soul will always be calm. Let's say a neighbor came up and insulted us. Well, endure his weaknesses. After all, you won’t lose weight or grow old from this. Of course, it’s bad for the person who has been pushing his worth for a long time, creating a high opinion of himself, and suddenly someone humbles him! He will definitely rebel, be dissatisfied, and be offended. Well, this is the way of a proud man. The humble person believes that if something is reprimanded to him, then it must be so...
Our Christian path is not to speak bad about anyone, not to outrage anyone, to tolerate everyone, to bring peace and tranquility to everyone. And constantly remain in prayer. And impose penance on your evil tongue, tell him: “You've been talking all your life - now that's enough! Get down to business - read the prayer. Do not want? I’ll force you!”
If despondency has just arrived, has just begun, open the Gospel and read until the demon leaves you. Let's say an alcoholic wants to drink - if he understands that a demon has attacked, let him open the Gospel, read a few chapters - and the demon will immediately go away. And so any passion that a person suffers from can be overcome.
We begin to read the Gospel, call on the Lord for help, and immediately the demons leave. As it happened with one monk. He was praying in his cell, and at that time the demons clearly approached him, grabbed him by the hands and dragged him out of the cell. He placed his hands on the door frames and cried out: “Lord, how insolent the demons have become - they are already dragging them out of their cells by force!"The demons instantly disappeared, and the monk turned to God again: “Lord, why don’t you help?” And the Lord says to him: “And you don’t contact me. As soon as I contacted you, I immediately helped you.”.
Many do not see the mercy of God. There were different cases. One man kept grumbling that the Mother of God and the Lord were not helping him in anything. One day an Angel appeared to him and said: “Remember, when you were sailing on a boat with friends, the boat capsized and your friend drowned, but you remained alive. Then the Mother of God saved you; She heard and listened to your mother's prayers. Now remember when you were riding a chaise and the horse pulled to the side - the chaise overturned. A friend was sitting with you; he was killed, and you survived". And the Angel began to cite so many cases that happened to this man in his life. How many times was he threatened with death or trouble, and everything passed him by... We are simply blind and think that all this is accidental, and therefore we are ungrateful to the Lord for saving us from troubles.”