What to do if there is a hyperactive child growing up in your family? What should parents do if their child is so restless and impetuous that it is difficult to cope with him? What if he cannot calmly react to everything that happens and play with his peers? What if he is restless and it is not easy for him to transfer knowledge? How to choose the right strategy for raising a hyperactive child and what lies behind his restlessness? Read about the behavioral characteristics of a hyperactive child: recommendations for parents.
Hyperactivity and its signs
A hyperactive child faces many problems
In the middle of the last century, doctors considered hyperactivity as a pathological condition caused by minor disorders of brain function. Subsequently, excessive physical activity began to be perceived as an independent disease, which was called “attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity” (ADHD).
“A hyperactive child faces problems with concentration, poor memory, and learning. It is difficult for his brain to process information. The child cannot maintain concentration for a long time and control all his actions. He is restless, inattentive and impulsive."
Symptoms of hyperactive behavior:
- restlessness
- bustle
- anxiety
- impulsiveness
- emotional instability
- tearfulness
- non-compliance with rules and norms of behavior
- sleep problems
- delay and disruption speech development
- and others.
Symptoms of ADHD can already be noticed in a 2-3 year old child. Most often, parents are in no hurry to see a doctor, however, as soon as the child enters the first grade, he has difficulties with studying, which appear as a result of hyperactivity.
It is imperative to respond to each of the symptoms described and seek help from specialists who will give the right recommendations on how to help a child with ADHD, how to learn to calm him down, and how to adapt to society.
If signs of hyperactivity persist in a child for more than 6 months, then you need to consult a specialist - a psychologist, a neurologist.
Signs of hyperactivity include the following:
- Inattention, which manifests itself in:
- frequent inability to be attentive to details (because of this, the child will make mistakes when completing schoolwork); homework and in other types of activities)
- difficulty maintaining attention
- inability to listen
- inability to adhere to requirements and instructions (for example, completing homework or other household duties in the workplace
- Difficulty in independently organizing homework and other work
- avoiding involvement in tasks that require prolonged mental stress
- frequent loss of objects (toys, school supplies, pencils, books, stationery)
- easy distraction by extraneous stimuli
- frequent forgetfulness in everyday situations.
- hyperactivity, which manifests itself in:
- restless movements of the hands and feet
- twisting and turning while sitting on a chair
- frequently getting up from your seat in class during class or in other situations
- frequent manifestation of aimless motor activity: running, twisting, trying to climb somewhere, and when this is unacceptable
- inability to play or do anything calmly or quietly
- constant movement
- talkativeness, noisiness.
- Impulsivity, which manifests itself in:
- answers to questions without listening to them fully and without especially thinking
- difficulty waiting for your turn
- frequent interference with others, pestering others (for example, he can calmly interfere in conversations or games).
If the described signs persist in a child for more than 6 months, then you should definitely consult a specialist - a psychologist, a neurologist.
Treatment at home and with a specialist
Only a doctor can select the appropriate course of treatment for your hyperactive child.
If you notice symptoms and signs of ADHD in your child, you should consult a neurologist. The doctor will conduct an examination and find out whether the child’s hyperactivity is caused by any serious illness.
Diagnosis of ADHD carried out in 3 stages:
- Collection of information. The doctor collects information about the child, finding out the peculiarities of the course of pregnancy and childbirth, the child’s medical history, and the characteristics of upbringing. The doctor asks the parents to characterize the child. Next, he gives a subjective assessment of the child’s behavior based on certain diagnostic criteria.
- Psychological examination. Using special techniques (tests), a specialist diagnoses the child’s attention.
- Hardware examination. ADHD is diagnosed using an electroencephalographic study or a magnetic resonance imaging study (which allows recording electrical potentials brain and identify corresponding changes). The procedures are painless and safe.
The totality of the results obtained will determine the presence of ADHD and the need for special treatment.
Sometimes a child becomes so uncontrollable that parents are ready to do anything to stop the outrage and take a break from it. It is important to remember here that you cannot arbitrarily give your child sedatives: they can only be prescribed by a doctor after conducting an examination. The selection of medications that normalize sleep, relieve irritability, and reduce anxiety is selected by the doctor strictly individually for each child.
"Advice. Remember that only a doctor can choose the appropriate course of treatment for your hyperactive baby. When choosing home treatment methods, choose those that will not harm the child. As a home treatment, it is best to choose a strategy of a careful, calm, affectionate attitude towards the baby.”
How to organize the life of a hyperactive child
An attentive and caring attitude towards a hyperactive child will help to properly organize his life.
- Prohibit correctly. When communicating with a hyperactive child, do not use negations, the negative particle “not”, the words “no” and “cannot”. It is better to reformulate the prohibitions, for example: “Don’t walk on the lawn!” should be replaced with "Better play on the track." That is, when forbidding your child something, immediately offer an alternative.
- Set your tasks clearly. Children with ADHD are characterized by poorly developed logical and abstract thinking. Therefore, tasks need to be stated clearly. When communicating with your child, use short, simple phrases, avoiding complex formulations.
- Maintain consistency. It is better not to give hyperactive, inattentive children several instructions at the same time, such as “change clothes and fold your clothes, wash your hands and quickly sit down to dinner.” It will be difficult for the child to immediately perceive all the information. Most likely, he will get distracted and forget to do everything he needs to do. It is better to give instructions one after another, maintaining a logical sequence.
- Keep track of the time. It is difficult for hyperactive children to sense time, so parents themselves must monitor how much time the child spends on a particular task.
- Get used to the daily routine. Daily routine is the basis normal life hyperactive child. The child must sleep enough time (at least 8-10 hours a day), eat, study (study), play, and walk at the same time. Don't forget to praise your child if he follows the rules.
- Be positive. Rejoice at your child’s successes, praise him, support him. The baby should feel that he is being cared for and helped to cope with difficulties. Smooth out conflicts.
- Be clear about the criteria for good behavior. Permissiveness is not the best parenting tactic. The child must understand what he can and cannot do; how to behave beautifully and how not.
- Create comfortable conditions for the child’s development. The baby should have his own place in the house where he can calmly play and study. Do not distract your child from classes. Make sure he doesn't get overtired.
- Create opportunities to waste excess energy. It is better for hyperactive children to have a hobby. It’s good if it’s a sport where the child can throw out excess energy. Take more walks in the fresh air.
Products containing dyes and preservatives should be excluded from the diet of a hyperactive child.
"Advice. Products containing dyes and preservatives should be excluded from the diet of a hyperactive child. It is not recommended to consume carbonated drinks, chocolate, spicy and salty foods.”
Traditional methods of behavior correction
Sometimes a doctor can prescribe not only drug treatment, but also enhance it with traditional methods, for example:
- Infusions of soothing herbal infusions. Infusion for tics: 2 tbsp. Brew spoons of dried blackberry leaves with a liter of boiling water and give the child half a glass to drink twice a day.
- Strengthening normalizing mixtures. For example: cranberries and aloe need to be ground in a meat grinder and seasoned with honey. Give a teaspoon three times a day for six months. This mixture enhances concentration and perseverance.
- Soothing herbal baths. Some herbs (chamomile, valerian, motherwort) and essential oils (fir, neroli) have a relaxing effect. The herbs need to be brewed, and then the infusion should be poured into the bath, and a couple of drops of essential oil should be added.
“A wonderful old soothing method is a glass of warm milk with honey. It’s better to offer your child to drink it at night.”
Choose individual ways to calm a hyperactive child
While the diagnosis has not yet been carried out, parents will find useful tips on how to deal with a hyperactive child:
- If the child is overexcited, you need to change the situation: give him a drink of water and take him to another room.
- If the baby is upset, the best medicine is a hug from the parents, a gentle pat on the head: physical contact is very important for hyperactive children.
- An effective home treatment for hyperactive children is herbal baths before bedtime. The soothing collection for such a bath may include hop and conifer cones. Consult your doctor when choosing this home therapy method.
- A favorite fairy tale, a book with colorful illustrations, a massage, calm music - with the help of all this, the baby will be able to calm down and fall asleep faster.
It is not easy to recommend what exactly needs to be done with a child’s hyperactivity, because each case is individual and generated for various reasons. The main thing is to be loving and patient parents who will help the baby adapt to the world around him and cope with the difficulties he faces.
“There is no such creature as a child. Only mother and child"
It is not easy for adults to understand the behavior of children, because it is often not possible for us to remember our own childhood experiences.
It happens that parents notice changes in the child’s behavior, such as: restlessness, excessive mobility, emotional instability, mood swings, tearfulness, ignoring rules and norms of behavior, sleep problems, difficulty concentrating on any activity, etc.
If you notice any of the above in your child, do not immediately panic and diagnose “hyperactivity” yourself. Why?
Hyperactivity or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a complex set of 5-7 symptoms presented in different situations and settings. In this case, these symptoms are calculated separately for “inattention” and “hyperactivity”. The diagnostic process is quite complex and requires the skills of an experienced specialist.
An outstanding Russian psychologist, founder of Russian neuropsychology, Alexander Romanovich Luria, wrote: “There are no only mental or only somatic diseases, but there is only a living process in a living organism; Its vitality lies in the fact that it combines both the mental and somatic sides of the disease.”
I would like to note right away that I am inclined to call such children not “hyperactive”, but “overexcited.” I’ll explain why: “a child is always a symptom of his parents,” that is, he literally expresses what his parents, and especially his mother, feel and experience.
Often, parents bring in an overexcited child (even if he is already 12 years old) and talk about how the child “seems to have been possessed by someone,” that the child has become “uncontrollable,” “capricious, like few others.” It also turns out that they have already gone to the doctor for a prescription for a sedative (a very questionable and hasty decision, in my opinion).
However, when you ask parents the question: “What are the possible reasons for this behavior in a child?” they almost never say, “We.” As a rule, they answer: “We don’t know. He seemed to have gone mad."
This suggests that parents perceive a child under 3-4 years of age as some kind of autonomous, unintelligent creature, like a plant, which “the main thing is not to forget to water.” Such beliefs are extremely erroneous.
The child is extremely sensitive and receptive. In his behavior, he often expresses the feelings and experiences of his parents, even if they are well hidden. All people unconsciously feel each other well and the world, and children in this sense are real specialists.
It is important to know: A child, due to his narcissism, is inclined to believe that everything that happens in the family happens because of him - be it positive or negative.
When talking with parents, details of family life are also clarified. Over the years of work, I have noticed some specific features characteristic of such families.
Common causes of child hyperactivity
1. The child’s mother is overly anxious.The mother's anxiety never goes unnoticed by the child. An anxious mother, often without noticing it herself, makes sudden body movements, is fussy, and anxious notes can be heard in her voice and intonations. Such a mother speaks about the simplest things with a tear in her voice. A child easily notices all this, but cannot understand it from the point of view of an adult, but perceives what is happening through his own subjectivity.
What to do? Such a mother should consult a specialist and work through the causes of her anxiety.
2. Parents quarrel in front of the child, are overly tense, or communicate too emotionally.
A small child perceives a quarrel between parents or an emotional discussion of news literally, as screams and excitement. He also begins to feel the tension.
What to do? If possible, avoid such behavior in front of the child, and discuss any disagreements with a specialist.
3. Excessive control, constant interference and evaluation of the child’s actions.
Imagine that there is a person standing next to you around the clock, watching you and evaluating your every action. You probably won't like it.
What to do? Provide the child with freedom and moderate control.
Incestuous behavior of parents - as a reason for overexcitement of the child
Incestuousness is incest that never passes into action. In essence, this is a constant prelude to sexual intercourse. “Incest is a game played by the whole family,” often unconsciously.“Difficult children” are often the result of incestuousness that reigns in the family.
1. Parents kiss the child on the lips, touch, stroke, etc.
Any touch never leaves its mark on a person’s brain at any age. The brain always reacts to them and converts them into emotions. If you don't believe it, then ask someone to touch you or kiss you. Surely you will feel something.
Lips are the first erogenous zone of a person from an early age. Stimulation of erogenous zones excites, it’s no secret. And here the message that accompanies the kiss is very important. You can kiss and stroke your child in different places, but with different emotions. The vast majority of kisses on the lips carry an erotic charge that goes beyond the mother-child relationship.
What to do? Do not kiss your child on the lips. Kiss the child, for example, on the forehead or top of the head. Kisses on the lips and seductive touches are best left to the wife/husband.
2. Nude or semi-nude appearance of one or two parents in the presence of a child.
The older the child, the more strongly he perceives this through the prism of sexuality, and due to the incestuous nature, these experiences are traumatic and are repressed into the unconscious part of the psyche, while continuing to influence the child’s self.
What to do? Do not walk around like this in front of your child.
3. Compliments on the appearance of a child over 6-7 years old.
Due to the transformation of the parents’ perception and the narcissism developing in the child, from a certain age it is better to say less compliments about the child’s appearance, and more about his intellectual abilities.
4. An insistent desire to wash the child, paying excessive attention to the genitals.
Some parents get very excited about helping their child wash. And they concentrate a lot of attention on the genitals. Often these rituals continue into adolescence, or even throughout life.
What to do? Teach your child to do this on his own from childhood. At an age when a child cannot do this on his own, he should be washed and, in particular, washed without excessive zeal.
5. Suspiciously long breastfeeding (more than 1.5 years).
Long-term breastfeeding, beyond the child's needs (when he can already take adult food), indicates some other benefit. For example, about the pleasure of the process itself.
In particular, if there is no longer any milk, and the mother does not wean the child from the breast, then the question arises: “Who gets more pleasure at these moments? Mother or child? In this case, an “exchange of excitation” occurs, which, in turn, accumulates over time.
What to do? Stop breastfeeding at the age of one to one and a half years, do not impose your desires on the child and do not succumb to the sweetest manipulations on the part of the child.
6. Coitus and foreplay to sex in front of a child.
This should not be done from the child’s infancy onwards. It is a mistake to think that “the child does not understand anything, he is small.” The child does not see, but feels your excitement.
From the age of one year, when a child can already observe the actions of adults, he sees how his parents make sudden movements and make certain sounds. The child does not understand what is happening, since he does not yet know what sexual intercourse is, but he can perceive it as Shakespeare metaphorically called coitus: “a two-backed monster.”
Is it worth talking if the child is already 10 years old? Someone will ask: “What if we have a one-room apartment?” Alas, I cannot answer this question.
What to do? Stop having sex in front of your child.
7. Putting the child in the parent's bed or approving the child when he comes.
It is worth making an effort and denying yourself and your child the pleasure of spending the night together. Especially systematically. Especially in the nude. Especially hugging in the nude. Especially if the child is already an adult.
And you shouldn’t banish your husband to another room when your son or daughter comes to your parents’ bed. It's always a special story if it's mother and daughter. But more on that another time.
On an unconscious level, incestuousness works as a constant seduction of the child by the parent in order to keep him with him. The child also seduces his mother because he needs it to survive. But she does this instinctively, and the mother, as an adult, must think and not abuse this.
At a conscious level, such eroticism on the part of the mother can be expressed in the words: “What’s wrong? What didn’t I see there?” “Show me if the hymen is intact?” “Look how beautiful your mother is” “Just tell me that you don’t love your mother - I’ll immediately be offended”, etc.
How does this affect the child? Before puberty, all these gestures are taken for granted by the child, because he cannot know what happens in other families. However, when a child reaches the age of puberty, 10-12 years old, all the repressed experiences of previous years pass through the prism of sexuality.
By the way, it is at the age of 10-12 years that ADHD, schizophrenia and other mental disorders begin to be diagnosed. However, an overexcited child can be present from early childhood. This often happens in a family where the child is like a mother’s penis, which she constantly touches.
Try to imagine that you are jerked from birth until you are 12 years old. Will you want a man later? For him to touch you and love you? Such incestuousness, bordering on incest, is also the cause of sexual disorders in the child when he grows up.
Tags: ADHD,
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Often the most common cause of child hyperactivity is lack of attention. With his excessive mobility and busyness, he tries to attract parents, peers, and teachers to him. Sometimes such a reason may be a person’s character trait. However greatest influence have many other factors: at risk are children who were born through a cesarean section, artificial babies, etc. Therefore, it is quite important to understand the root cause.
Judging by statistical data, hyperactivity occurs in almost every twentieth child; by the way, it should be noted that boys are two to three times more likely. It turns out that in the classroom you can meet at least one child with excessive activity. hyperactive child They give it out to everyone who is not too lazy, but in reality you only need to listen to the specialists.
Scientists have proven that hyperactivity is a diagnosis
For a long time, this diagnosis was considered only a feature of the child’s behavior, but more recently it was proven that this is a mental disorder that cannot be corrected by simple pedagogical methods. And if there are parents in the family? Advice from a psychologist will help you figure this out.
Interestingly, in 1970, studies were conducted that showed that this disease is based on physiological and genetic causes, and the syndrome itself relates not only to pedagogy and psychology, but is also associated with medicine.
Main causes
- Lack of necessary hormones in the child’s body.
- Past illnesses and injuries.
- Mother's illnesses during pregnancy.
- Any illness that the child suffered as an infant. They could affect brain function.
And regardless of the fact that medicine has made great strides in this issue, and there are pharmacological treatment methods and psychological and pedagogical ones, yet childhood hyperactivity is considered an incurable syndrome that can be corrected in adolescence. Based on this, we will try to draw conclusions and give recommendations: hyperactive children, what should parents do?
Advice from a psychologist can help a child adapt to society and subsequently become a comprehensively developed person.
Illness in adulthood
In fact, many adults suffer from this disease, but most often they are simply considered too impulsive, active and eccentric. This syndrome occurs in childhood, it has not yet been fully studied, so it has not been proven that it remains in adulthood.
How to recognize a hyperactive child
Parents can immediately encounter the first signs: children sleep poorly, cry a lot, are very irritable during the day, and can react to any noise or change of environment.
A hyperactive child at one year already begins to manifest himself, for example, in speech delay, awkward movements due to impaired motor skills. Nevertheless, he is constantly active, tries to walk, move, he is fussy and mobile. His mood is also constantly changing: at one moment the child is cheerful and joyful, and the next minute he can suddenly become capricious. So, here is a hyperactive child (1 year old). What should parents do? Such children will have to pay much more attention, and efforts must be made to achieve results.
Critical age
When it comes to preparatory classes, it is also difficult for the child to concentrate on one task: he cannot sit still, complete at least one task, or do an exercise carefully and focused. The kid does everything carelessly to finish the job and start something new.
Only a specialist can give reasonable advice to parents of a hyperactive child, as well as recognize hyperactivity. But before turning to a professional, mother and father should observe their child and determine how excessive activity and impulsiveness interferes with his learning and building relationships with his peers. What situations are alarming?
Main symptoms
- It's always difficult to concentrate on a task or game. Parents constantly have to be reminded about everyday matters, because the child simply forgets about them, and also constantly breaks or loses his things. In addition, attention is impaired: the baby never listens to anyone, even when speech is addressed directly to him. If he does a task on his own, he often cannot organize his work correctly, constantly being distracted and not completing the task.
- Impulsiveness. During lessons, a child, without waiting for his turn, shouts from his seat. It is difficult for him to follow established rules, he constantly interferes in the conversation, etc.
- Hyperactivity. It is difficult for a child to sit still, he constantly fidgets in his chair, talks a lot, and constantly runs around even where he should not. The baby cannot play or rest calmly; he asks many questions all the time, but cannot remember even one answer. Many of the child’s actions are completely thoughtless; he often breaks objects or breaks dishes. Even during sleep he is not calm - he constantly wakes up, tosses and turns, and sometimes screams in his sleep.
Hyperactive and active: differences
Often when parents say about their child that he is hyperactive, they put a positive meaning into this word. But most people simply confuse two different concepts - active and hyperactive. It’s really good when a child is inquisitive, shows interest in the world around him, and strives for new knowledge. But hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder, which are often interrelated, are neurological-behavioral disorders. They make themselves felt most painfully after the age of five, which undoubtedly has a negative impact on the child, preventing him from developing along with other children.
Active children can be active at home, on the playground with friends, in kindergarten, but when they come to any new place for them, for example, on a visit or to a doctor’s appointment, they immediately calm down and begin to behave like real quiet people. With hyperactive children, everything is different, regardless of the circumstances, place and people who surround them: they always behave the same and simply cannot sit still.
An active child can be captivated by a regular game, for example, checkers or putting together a puzzle, but a hyperactive child lacks perseverance.
In any case, everything is very individual, so recommendations can only be given to parents based on observations. Hyperactive children are more difficult to scare, they have a low pain threshold, they are not afraid of anything, and do not think at all about their safety.
From all of the above, it follows that if a child loves outdoor games, he likes to learn something new, and this curiosity does not interfere with his studies and social relationships, then he should not be called hyperactive. The child is simply developing normally for his age. If the child cannot sit still, listen to a fairy tale to the end or finish a task, constantly demands attention to himself or throws tantrums, then this is a hyperactive child. What should parents do? Advice from a psychologist can help in this difficult issue.
Schooling
If before starting school, parents are not particularly concerned about this character trait, then when they begin school, seeing the many problems that their child faces, they begin to become very worried. It is difficult for these children to understand how to behave and how not to behave. The child does not know where the acceptable line is; it is difficult for them to establish relationships with other children and the teacher, and simply to calmly learn the lesson. Therefore, during the adaptation period, recommendations are needed for parents of hyperactive children, since this age is the most critical. You can take your child to a psychologist. If you have a hyperactive child, the recommendations of specialists must be followed literally in everything.
It is important to remember that hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder often occur in combination with other serious problems.
Hyperactive child: what should parents do? Read below for advice from a psychologist that you need to follow.
It is important to carefully approach safety precautions, remove all unsafe and sharp objects when leaving the room, turn off household appliances, since ordinary children often break something, or fall and hit themselves, but with hyperactive children this happens twice or three times more often.
If a hyperactive child needs to learn something important, a psychologist’s advice to parents will be useful. You need to make sure he's listening. It is not enough to simply call out to him - you need to establish contact, remove toys from sight, turn off the TV or computer. And only after making sure that your child is really listening to you can you start a conversation with him.
It is necessary to establish rules in the family that the child would strictly follow. And it is very important that they are always performed every day, without exception, regardless of the circumstances. It is important to constantly remind the child about them, repeating that some tasks must always be completed, but doing something is strictly prohibited.
A very important nuance is the mode. The child must be taught to do everything on time, and exceptions cannot be made even on a day off. For example, always get up at the same time, have breakfast, do homework, and go for a walk. This may be too strict, but it is the most effective. It is this rule that will help you learn new material in the future.
These children are very susceptible to mood, so it is very important that the emotions they receive are positive. It is necessary to praise them even for the slightest achievements. Let him feel that his parents are proud of him. You should support your child in difficult moments, speak more often of love for him, and hug him.
You can organize a reward system, for example, if he behaved well all week, then on the weekend he receives a small present or an outing, a movie, or a museum. Let the parents come up with joint games that will captivate the baby. Of course, it will take a lot of time, patience and ingenuity, but the result will not be long in coming.
It is important to generally monitor the atmosphere in the family so that all conflicts pass by the baby, and especially not for him to participate in them.
If the child behaved badly, then you can punish, but not too much, and it is better to refuse assault altogether.
A hyperactive child never runs out of energy, so it is constantly necessary to create conditions for him to put it somewhere. The baby should take more walks outdoors, go to the sports section, and play. But there is also an important nuance here: the child should be tired, but not too overtired.
When forbidding a child to do something, it is extremely important to provide him with an alternative, while explaining in a calm tone why his actions are wrong.
You cannot take your child to places where there are large crowds of people: his psyche is already too sensitive and weak, and the crowd can lead to overstimulation of the nervous system, so you should avoid mass events and supermarkets during rush hours. But walks in the fresh air and forays into nature have a beneficial effect on the baby. It is better for such a child to play with only one friend.
It would be nice if parents keep an observation diary in which they can note all the changes and reactions to the world around them that occur with them. hyperactive child. Afterwards, this diary can be shown to the teacher (it will be much easier for him to get the overall picture).
Hyperactive child: what should parents do? The psychologist's advice listed above will help solve many problems.
School work
First of all, the child should sit as close to the teacher as possible - this will make it much easier for the latter to control discipline. It is also important that the baby has the opportunity to ask all the necessary questions at any time.
The teacher must write all tasks on the board and give only one task for a certain period of time. If the task is too large, then it must be divided into several parts, limit completion to time and constantly monitor their implementation.
It is difficult for a hyperactive child to sit in one place for a long time and still remember the material presented. Therefore, it is necessary to teach him consistently, to involve him in the lesson, even if the baby is spinning, shouting, fidgeting in his chair. Next time, let the baby just focus on being calm.
He just needs to move, so it’s better not to monitor his behavior too much in class, and let him run around on the school playground or gym.
Also, children often find themselves in a vicious circle: praise is simply necessary for them, but it costs them incredible effort to study well. Because they are inattentive and cannot concentrate properly, they make many mistakes and their work is sloppy. Therefore, initially you should treat them less strictly.
During a lesson, the activity may change several times, and while ordinary children benefit from this, it is much more difficult for hyperactive children to switch. Therefore, they need to be warned in advance and given the opportunity to prepare.
It is very difficult for a teacher to work with such children, but if you find the right approach, the result will be excellent. Hyperactive children are well developed intellectually, as evidenced by many tests, but they have difficulty managing their temperament.
Hyperactive child - this is not a sentence, but what should parents do in this case?
Psychologist's advice guarantee a way out of difficult situations and help you find a way out with your own child.
When we are faced with such a question as raising a hyperactive child, thoughts like: “I am a bad parent” or “Why am I being punished for this” are spinning in our heads.
Parents become despondent. But you shouldn’t beat yourself up or reproach your child.
Conduct an examination to know for sure that this is the reason.
If your suspicions are justified, you should make a series of changes in your life and the life of your baby in order to gradually correct the behavior, and not engage in self-flagellation.
Main signs and causes of ADHD
The full diagnosis is: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, abbreviated as ADHD.
It appears at an early age. It is difficult to determine exactly when, because up to a certain point the child’s behavior seems normal.
Although sometimes some signs are difficult to ignore.
Children react very strongly to changes in lighting or loud sounds, are nervous, suffer, and their motor activity is not as developed as that of their peers.
But all this can be attributed to all sorts of circumstances that are often not taken seriously.
We figure out how to cope with a hyperactive child But when it starts, the first suspicions arise.
Unbalance, hot temper, and inability to complete assigned tasks appear, even if intelligence tests say otherwise.
Let's look at the signs in more detail:
Unbalanced behavior
Inability to manage both positive and negative emotions. Low self-esteem.
The child cannot concentrate on one object
He fidgets in his chair and moves around.Attention quickly switches to extraneous thoughts.
A child with ADHD has specific behavior Talks a lot, interrupts elders, is emotional and absent-minded
In appearance, the behavior looks like clumsiness, everything falls out of hand.
At a young age, there is a delay in speech development. The child cannot connect words into sentences.
The child is conflicted and quick-tempered, touchy and irritable
He argues and even fights with other children.
Often distracted by the slightest sound
Therefore, he cannot concentrate on the task at hand and is inattentive.
With this behavior he pretends to involve adults, shows selfishness and excessive activity.
We study the causes of hyperactivity and learn to deal with them Fine motor skills are slightly developed
Can't button up buttons or tie shoelaces and has ugly handwriting.
The reason for this behavior is a mild form of brain dysfunction.
In almost 70% of cases this occurs due to poor nutrition of the mother, drug use, etc.
ADHD often manifests itself due to a genetic factor: one of the parents had similar symptoms in childhood.
Advice: also significantly affects the child’s condition. Make sure your home becomes a corner of peace and quiet.
Such children need a special approach What kind of furnishings should there be in the house? Organization of work at school
How to behave at home
Dealing with a hyperactive child is always difficult.
Especially if, deep down in your soul, you constantly compare him with an abstract or completely existing girl (boy) without deviations.
Screaming, getting nervous, and prohibiting is absolutely useless and will not lead to anything good.
You can only change the atmosphere in the house, your internal reaction to his behavior and develop the right tactics.
It is important to remember that a child with ADHD knows no inhibitions, he does not understand the word “no,” but he responds well to praise.
Dealing with such a child is not easy It is very important for him, as an individual, to know that he is at least good at something and that his mother loves him and does not torment him with reproaches.
At the initial stage, this is a nervous person, in constant mental tension.
That’s why it’s so important that he has a separate room with his own privacy zone, where the child can “cool down” a little.
Decorate it in calm colors, avoiding contrasts. Discuss new way communication with your spouse.
There should be no shouting, arguing, or swearing in the house. Your task is to make everyday life calm, without unexpected surprises.
You can find an approach to even the most difficult child Create a daily routine that will become an “iron” rule, no matter what.
Don't rush your child, but give clear boundaries for completing the task. For example: 18:00–18:40 - cleaning up toys.
It is ideal to have a wall timer that shows how much time is left.
In general, for such children the concept of time does not exist.
They have a broken cause-and-effect relationship: “did the right thing now” - “received a reward tomorrow” does not work.
Feedback is needed immediately. At school this is almost never possible, so at least let everything become obvious at home.
If you did something right, praise or reward with a treat. The “token system” performed well.
The main task of parents is to properly organize the baby’s time. Buy any plastic chips and give them out for every task completed or small victory.
When you have 10 of them, for example, visit the zoo, buy a toy or something special.
How to behave at school
At school, first of all, talk to the teachers or class teacher about your child's characteristics.
Many people don’t know what ADHD is, explain it to them in detail. Teachersshould become your allies, not your enemies.
It is best if your child sits directly in front of the board, close to the teacher, so that he can quickly and easily ask a question.
It would be good if the tasks were given fractionally and recorded with chalk on the board. Ask not to demand too much from him at once.
Exist psychological techniques that will facilitate the education process Perhaps at first the first victories will look like this:
- Completed the task from start to finish without jumping, but wrote the letters crookedly
- Handwriting has become smoother, but there are missing letters
- Answered correctly, but the numbers are pointing in the wrong direction
Believe me, inspired by encouragement, the little one will try even harder, which will have a beneficial effect on his overall performance.
Stimulate his interest in this way. Expect only the best from your child, and he will try to please you more often!
Advice: do not exclude physical activity. Enroll your child in a sports section, where the emphasis is on individual achievements, but without unnecessary emotions and a competitive component.
A large number puts the child into a stupor.
It’s simply difficult for them to even decide to think about so many tasks at once.
It is important to create a comfortable environment at school and at home Therefore do the following:
- Write the answers to the problems scattered on regular thick paper.
- Cut them out into puzzle shapes (about 10 pieces or more in total)
- Place it on the floor in the room
Let the child solve the example and immediately find the corresponding one from the general pile.
Little by little he will complete the whole puzzle and feel like a winner!
Learning letters can be a challenge because there are so many of them. Turn the challenge into a game.
Create a field of 33 cells, each containing a letter.
Place a machine purchased in advance for these purposes at the beginning and for each correct answer move it forward one square.
Finding an approach to a child with ADHD is realistic An incorrect answer stops the machine. After 3 mistakes, transfer the game to the next day.
Children with ADHD overcome obstacles with great joy, especially if they know that they will be praised or fed something tasty for this.
You can also play for wishes, just set small limits - no more than 5 letters at a time.
It often happens that while doing math homework, problems arise with recording the result of your thoughts on paper.
That is, the child knows the answer, can tell how he came to it step by step, but is not able to write it down.
This is due to the fact that he is required to do two things at once, and for those who suffer from ADHD, this is an incomprehensible burden.
Don't ask for too much; allow them to answer verbally.
Turn parenting into a fun game The ability to write is certainly important and, of course, it needs to be practiced, but in this case we recommend making a concession.
Pretty soon he will get used to speaking and writing at the same time.
Use physical activity whenever possible.This approach works best in a playful way.
Ask your child a question and, having received the correct answer, allow him to take a step forward, and for an incorrect answer or a step without asking, allow him to take two steps back.
This will help strengthen the skills we need and teach us to focus.
Talk about the problem with your teachers Make sure that the place where he will do his homework does not contain any distracting pictures or movable objects or animals.
Many people note that working with headphones is the best way to calmly complete a task.
Try it! Maybe this advice will work for you too!
Autogenic training - Schultz model and Alekseev technique
These methods will help hyperactive children calm down physically and mentally, fall asleep peacefully or fully relax.
Autogenic training allows you to partially restore the functions of the nervous system and stabilize the reserve capabilities of the cerebral cortex.
The method can be practiced independently, but for the first time it is still recommended to carry out it under the supervision of a psychotherapist.
The Schulz model is designed for younger age(4–9 years), and Alekseev’s technique is intended for use by persons aged 8–12 years.
With the right approach, your child will learn to understand himself and his behavior Schulz model
The presenter offers to sit comfortably on a chair or rug.
Listen carefully to him and fulfill every request, even if it seems wrong.
- Hands. Imagine that you are holding a lemon in one hand. Squeeze your palm and squeeze out all the juice. Notice your sensations in your hand. Isn’t it true that the experience of relaxation is much more pleasant?
- Arms and shoulders. Imagine that you are little kittens. Stretch your arms forward, then up, then back. Stretch as hard as possible and then drop your arms to your sides. Feel the relaxation of all muscles. The shoulders and arms became much softer.
- Shoulders and neck. Now you are turtles, basking in the sun. Danger is approaching you! Pull your head into your shoulders, and pull your shoulders up, hold this for 30 seconds and relax again, stretch your head.
- Jaws. Squeeze them tightly, so that even your neck tenses. Imagine that you come across hard chewing gum. Now relax your jaws and feel how good it is. Open your mouth slightly, relax.
- Face. Imagine that an annoying fly has landed on your nose. Drive her away using your facial muscles without using your hands!
- Stomach. A baby elephant is heading towards you and doesn’t look at his feet! He might step on you! Tighten your stomach as hard as you can and relax it as the baby elephant passes by.
- Legs. Stand in an imaginary “puddle.” Tighten your toes and feet, sinking deeper and deeper into the mud. Get out and bask in the sun.
Praise your child for any achievements Alekseev technique
IN this method You should imagine each part of the body as a large lamp, and your consciousness as a small night light.
Gradually extinguish the lamps one after another, using the formulas: “I relax... (arms, legs, neck), they are warm and motionless,” “I am completely relaxed,” etc.
Gradually turn off all lamps except the consciousness night light. You should fall into a state of light slumber, as if lying in pleasant warm water.
Tip: Dictate these instructions into your phone. Play them at the same time every day for your child before bed for deep relaxation.
Neuropsychological play therapy
The presented exercises are designed to correct behavior in a relaxed playful way.
Do not force your baby to play with them and do not overload him for more than 20 minutes.
A tired, hyperactive child who has overexerted himself may become capricious or uncontrollable.
And, of course, be patient Exercise No. 1
Place a rope on the floor or mark the edge of the carpet as a boundary. On one side there is a river, on the other there is a bank.
The presenter offers to follow his commands: shouts “river” - you need to jump into it, shouts “bank” - you should return.
When all the children understand the conditions, proceed to the main part. First, the teams are named in random order, then alternating “river-bank-river-bank”.
Children fall into a certain rhythm. Change the sequence unexpectedly.
Advise the one who made a mistake to say the command out loud, and then act.
This will help manage difficulty switching between tasks and impulsivity.
Exercise No. 2
Ask your child to boss you around and teach you something he can do himself.
Children with ADHD are unable to concentrate on multiple issues at once For example, draw a cat, but he must pronounce your every action out loud, without using gestures.
This will help explain how planning works in reality.
Exercise No. 3
Blindfold yourself and ask your baby to command where you should go so as not to crash into standing objects (two steps to the left, one to the right). This will teach him to analyze the situation.
Advice: do not disrupt your daily routine, even if this threatens a scandal. Make concessions only in minor situations.
The term “hyperactive child” has been on everyone’s lips lately: doctors, educators, teachers, psychologists, parents. How to distinguish a fidget from a baby with signs of attention deficit? How to distinguish between ordinary pampering and neurological disorders?
A hyperactive child is characterized by a number of qualities: impulsive, excited, stubborn, capricious, spoiled, inattentive, absent-minded, unbalanced. It is important to understand in what situations you need professional help psychologist, drug treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and when it is necessary to reconsider the principles of education. It often happens that parents are looking for a “rescue pill.” But it is enough to rebuild the relationship with your son or daughter for recovery to occur in the most natural way. This requires time, effort, patience and, most importantly, the desire to change something in yourself and your relationship with your children.
What is hyperactivity associated with?
The causes of hyperactivity in children most often lie in the perinatal period of fetal development and difficult labor.
- Unfavorable pregnancy. Stress, smoking, poor lifestyle, illness, taking medications during pregnancy - all this can affect the development and formation of the fetal nervous system.
- Neurological disorders during fetal development and at birth. Hypoxia (lack of oxygen during intrauterine development) and asphyxia (suffocation) are the most common causes of ADHD. Rapid or premature labor and stimulation of labor can also affect it.
- Additional factors. Unfavorable psychological atmosphere in the family, conflicts between parents, too hard or soft methods of education, nutrition, lifestyle, temperament of the child.
The likelihood of ADHD increases significantly if these factors are combined. For example, a child was born with asphyxia, premature, he is raised in strictness and constant conflicts- hyperactivity in such a child can clearly manifest itself.
How to recognize hyperactivity in a child
Diagnosing ADHD is not easy because signs of hyperactivity can be symptoms of other neurological disorders. What should you pay attention to?
- First symptoms. May appear in infancy. Poor sleep, a long period of wakefulness from the first months of life, excitability of the baby, an atypical violent reaction to noise, bright light, games, hygiene procedures, a slight lag in the development of motor skills - all these can be the first precursors of hyperactivity in children under one year old.
- Age 3 years. A turning point in a child’s life, when the famous three-year crisis occurs. At this time, most children experience capriciousness, stubbornness, and mood swings. In hyperactive children, these signs appear even more clearly. Also, children with ADHD experience awkward, chaotic, fussy movements, and speech develops late.
- Health. Hyperactive kids often complain of fatigue and headaches. Such children are often diagnosed with enuresis and nervous tics.
- The first signs of restlessness. Kindergarten teachers can pay attention to them. When the process of socialization begins and the child leaves the family, signs of restlessness become more obvious. In kindergarten, it is impossible to put a baby to sleep, feed him, sit him on a potty, or calm him down.
- Disturbances in the development of memory and attention in preschool age. Children under 7 years of age develop intensively memory and attention. A child with ADHD experiences slow learning when preparing for school. And this is not explained by a developmental delay, but by insufficient concentration of attention. It is difficult for a child with signs of hyperactivity to sit in one place and listen to the teacher.
- Failure at school. Let us emphasize once again that poor grades in children are associated with hyperactivity disorder and attention deficit disorder, and not with their mental inclinations. On the contrary, hyperactive schoolchildren are often precocious. But the problem is that it is difficult for them to integrate into the system and discipline: it is difficult to sit through 45 minutes of a lesson, listen, write, and complete the teacher’s assignments.
- Mental aspects. Over time, the following qualities appear: hot temper, irritability, touchiness, tearfulness, anxiety, distrust, suspicion. Already at an early age, a child may develop phobias, which can persist into adolescence and throughout life if they are not addressed.
- Perspective. In adolescence, such a child, as a rule, develops (more precisely, it is formed by adults) low self-esteem. A hyperactive teenager can be aggressive, intolerant, conflict-ridden, and uncommunicative. It is difficult for him to find friends, to establish warm, friendly relationships. In the future, he may develop antisocial behavior.
Symptoms of ADHD in children appear complexly and regularly. You should not immediately attribute a “fashionable” diagnosis to your child for excitability, poor sleep, and moodiness, which are observed from time to time. Many objective factors can change psycho-emotional state baby. The reason may be teething, a change of environment, visiting a kindergarten, failure in a game, etc. Even climatic conditions influence the condition and behavior of the baby.
Diagnosis of ADHD
And yet, until the age of 6-7, no one makes a neurological diagnosis, even if there are signs of ADHD. This is explained psychological characteristics preschool children In preschool age, children experience two serious psychological crises - at 3 years old and 7 years old. What criteria are used to make a medical diagnosis of ADHD?
8 manifestations of hyperactivity
- Chaotic, fussy movements.
- Restless sleep: turns around, talks in his sleep, throws off the blanket, can walk at night.
- Cannot sit in a chair for long, spins around all the time.
- Unable to be at rest, often in motion (running, jumping, spinning).
- If you need to sit and wait (for example, in a queue), you can get up and leave.
- Excessively talkative.
- Doesn't answer the questions asked, interrupts, interferes in someone else's conversation, doesn't hear what they say to him.
- Shows impatience if asked to wait.
8 manifestations of attention deficit
- Carelessly and quickly completes assigned tasks (homework, cleaning the room, etc.), does not complete the task.
- Has difficulty concentrating on details, cannot remember or reproduce them.
- There is an absent look, immersion in one’s own world, and communication difficulties.
- Difficulty in understanding the terms of the game and often violates them.
- Absent-minded, he often loses personal items or puts them away in such a way that he cannot find them later.
- There is no self-discipline, you need to organize it all the time.
- Easily shifts attention to other objects.
- The “spirit of destruction” lives in him: he often breaks toys and things, but denies his involvement in the matter.
If parents count 5-6 matches from the listed criteria, they need to see a pediatric neurologist, psychotherapist and psychologist.
How to treat a child
When treating hyperactivity in children, it is important to understand what will be most effective for a particular child? What is the degree of ADHD? Is it worth using medications right away or is psychotherapeutic correction enough?
Medication methods
Medical treatment of ADHD with psychostimulants is more often used in the West and in the United States. Stimulants help increase concentration in children and give quick positive results. However, they have a number side effects: poor sleep, appetite, headaches, irritability, nervousness, reluctance to communicate. These signs usually appear at the very beginning of treatment. They can be reduced as follows: reducing the dose and replacing the drug with an analogue. Psychostimulants are prescribed only for complex forms of attention deficit, when no other method works. These include: Dexedrine, Focalin, Vyvanse, Adderall and many others. In Russia, the prescription of psychostimulant drugs is avoided because, according to the protocol for the treatment of ADHD, they are prohibited. They are replaced with nootropic drugs. The drug "Strattera" is widely used in the treatment of ADHD in children. Any antidepressants for attention deficit disorder should be used with great caution and only under the supervision of a physician.
Working with a psychologist and psychotherapist
This is an important part of therapy, which in difficult cases is carried out in parallel with drug treatment. Psychologist and psychotherapist use a variety of techniques to correct the behavior of a hyperactive child. Various exercises are given to develop attention, speech, thinking, memory, increase self-esteem, and creative tasks. Various communication situations are also simulated that will help the child find mutual language with parents and peers. Specialists have to work with anxiety and fears in hyperactive children. Relaxation methods are often used to help relax, relieve tension, and normalize the functioning of the brain and nervous system. For speech defects, sessions with a speech therapist are recommended.
What is important to know? Psychocorrection for a child will be effective only when the parents cooperate with the specialist and accurately carry out all the tasks and advice of the psychologist or psychotherapist. Parents often have the following attitude: “cure the child,” while family relationships need to be treated.
Lifestyle correction
Daily routine and hyperactivity are two things that, at first glance, are incompatible. And yet, parents need to arrange life according to a schedule for the fidget.
- It is extremely important to maintain a sleep schedule: go to bed and get up on time. If a restless person is behind schedule, it is difficult to put him to bed and difficult to bring him to his senses in the morning. You should not overload such children with information before bedtime or play active games. The air in the room should be fresh and cool.
- Organize nutritious meals. You need to avoid snacking, especially fast food. It is advisable to reduce fast carbohydrates (sweets, baked goods) in the diet, which excite nervous system.
- Walking before bed. Fresh air calms the nervous system. In addition, there will be a good opportunity to talk and discuss how your day went.
- Physical exercise. Necessary in the life of a hyperactive child to discharge his irrepressible energy. You can try yourself in individual and team sports. Although the latter will be more difficult. Athletics, gymnastics, cycling, and swimming are most suitable. It’s good if a child plays sports for himself. Competitions and any competitive moment will bring even more tension and aggression. Much in this situation depends on the coach and his teaching skills.
Reminder for parents raising a child with ADHD
How to raise a hyperactive child?
- Increase self-esteem. Hyperactive children are often punished and discouraged: “sit down”, “don’t move around”, “shut up”, “calm down”, etc. This is repeated regularly at school, at home, in the garden. Such comments create a feeling of inferiority in the child. All children need to be praised, but hyperactive children especially need emotional support and praise.
- Build personal boundaries with children. You need to raise fidgets in strictness, but fairness. Punishments and restrictions must be consistent, appropriate, and agreed upon by all family members. Children with signs of ADHD often do not have “brakes.” The task of parents is to show their own boundaries, demonstrate parental will and make it clear who is boss in the house, and clearly formulate prohibitions. There should be no aggression. If mom and dad have too soft a character, a hyperactive family member will certainly take the reins of power.
- Small and useful tasks. Hyperactive children should be involved in household chores and their initiative should be encouraged. It is better to give simple, step-by-step tasks. You can even draw a plan, diagram, step-by-step algorithm actions. These tasks will help your child organize his personal space and time.
- Don't overload with information. When reading books or doing homework, you need to give light loads - 15 minutes each. Then take a break from physical activity, then start again with a static activity that requires concentration. Overwork has a detrimental effect on children with ADHD.
- Learn a new type of activity. It is difficult to interest hyperactive children in anything for a long time; they switch their attention too quickly. However, you need to look different types activities (music, singing, drawing, reading, modeling, dancing) in which the child will reveal himself to the maximum. You need to find something that will invisibly “educate” the fidget and require some kind of personal effort and motivation.
- Communication aspects. For hyperactive fidgets, everything is forgiven at home, but they often find themselves in conflict situation with teachers and are rejected by peers. It is important to discuss with children their life outside the home, difficult situations, and the causes of conflicts. This will help them adequately evaluate their actions in the future, control themselves, be aware of their emotions, and learn from their own mistakes.
- Success Diary. Psychologists recommend keeping a notebook or notebook where you can write down (or sketch) all the big victories and small successes. It is important that the child is aware of the results of his own efforts. You can also come up with a reward system.
Some parents believe that the best cure for hyperactivity in children is vitamin D, that is, a belt. This harsh remedy only aggravates the problem and will never eliminate the real cause of disobedience. The behavior of children with ADHD often causes the righteous anger of parents, but it is still better to avoid spanking.
Difficulties of social adaptation
In kindergartens and schools, children with ADHD are classified as “difficult.” Sometimes conflicts associated with inappropriate hyperactive behavior become so aggravated that it is necessary to transfer the baby to another kindergarten or school. It is important to understand that the system public education will not adapt to individual characteristics child. You can search for a suitable kindergarten or school for a long time, but still not find it. In this situation, it is important to teach the child to show flexibility, patience, friendliness - all those qualities that are so important for communication and normal social adaptation.
- hyperactive students should be in the teacher’s field of vision;
- it is better for them to sit at the first or second desk;
- do not focus on the behavioral characteristics of such children;
- often praise, encourage, but do not overestimate;
- give small tasks in which the child will move: bring a magazine, distribute notebooks, water flowers, wipe the board;
- Emphasize the student’s strengths and provide an opportunity to demonstrate them.
- be on the child’s side, but not create an open conflict with the teacher;
- find compromise solutions;
- listen to the teacher’s opinion, because an objective view from the outside can be valuable for understanding your own child;
- do not punish or lecture a child in the presence of a teacher and peers;
- help adapt to the children's team (take part in joint events, you can invite children to visit, etc.).
It is important to find not some special school or private kindergarten, but a teacher who will understand the problem and be an ally of parents.
Treatment of a hyperactive child with medications is advisable only for complex forms of ADHD. In most cases, psychocorrection of behavior is carried out. Therapy is much more successful if parents are involved. After all, a child’s hyperactivity is often associated with family relationships and improper upbringing.