Good time! I was interested in the following topic: not every woman can stand up for herself.
I'm not talking about physical impact. We women need to be strong morally. And difficult situations happen everywhere and everywhere: in the family, at work, in society. The topic is serious, we will look for adequate measures to resist ignorance and suppress rudeness.
For the sake of completeness, I will give examples from real life and possible solutions to problematic moments.
The first situation. Family showdown
More often than not, it is relatives and friends who are trying to hurt the “live”, throw off a bad mood and negativity. Discharge so to speak. There is also chronic discontent. This is a situation familiar to many when the mother-in-law simply dislikes the daughter-in-law and constantly finds fault with her. May they forgive me, dear mother-in-law, but justice must prevail.
What can be done. I offer several options
- The husband came home in a bad mood, begins to raise his voice and provoke a conflict in every possible way. At such moments, it is better not to succumb to the temptation to “remember everything”. This will not lead to anything good and the brawler will achieve his goal, forcing you to show the same negative. Psychologists advise to pause, look directly into the eyes and in a calm, even muffled voice, ask about something completely foreign. That is, to shift attention. And already when the passions subside, talk frankly that this is unpleasant and unacceptable to you. Always try to keep abreast of the affairs of your half, ask how your day went, be interested not only in victories, share your failures together. And a little advice: never compare men, don't say that Bear has a wonderful husband, he has achieved so much, etc. For men it is like death. Respect manhood and there will be much less conflict.
- It is not uncommon for a family to have problems with older relatives, that is, parents. And then no one cares how old you are, 20 or 40. If you are offended by the constant poking of your nose that you are doing everything wrong and generally ungrateful to your parents who tried so hard for you, then you need to take a serious conversation. And it should start not with excuses and accusations, but with gratitude for all the good things that the parents have done. And clearly explain your position: that you are already an adult and have the right to decide for yourself where to work, with whom to be friends and with whom to live.
- And the most common problem is conflicts with the mother-in-law. If you have a fighting mother-in-law who loves to constantly point out how to raise children correctly, how to cook borscht correctly, how to put things in the right way, etc., then you definitely shouldn't flattery and make a confrontation. A sense of humor and a little flattery, in the form of compliments, will help here. Translate sharp remarks into jokes and try to smile, only without anger. And always start a meeting with nice words: what a wonderful hairstyle, maybe a new dress or a cool handbag. Compliments are pleasant to any woman, so do not be stingy, especially for Mom.
Situation two. Difficulties at work
Suppose you are the ideal worker: you are never late, you always get the job done on time, and you try your best. And the boss, more and more inundates with new assignments and tasks. And here's how not to become a "driven horse" who plows for four, but receives for one (in the sense of a salary). And there are still problems with the team, when unnecessary conversations and discussions of personal life arise, especially in the female team.
How to strengthen your authority. Consider some circumstances
- When communicating with your superiors, always follow the chain of command, no familiarity, even if it is someone from your good acquaintances. Firstly: this is ethics, and secondly: in the future there will be no “left orders” of the type: well, run away, well, bring it, well do it. It's not difficult for you, is it?
- Remember, uptime is bad. You need to be able to say no if you are loaded with unscheduled work and are not going to pay extra for it. Explain correctly that you have certain responsibilities and that you are working under an employment contract. You can remind that there is such a thing as a “job description”, in which all the points are spelled out. Usually, after the mention of this document, the disagreement ends.
- And the most painful question: how to avoid gossip in a team that offend in earnest. This can initially be prevented. Do not talk about your personal life at work; communicate politely and courteously about anything other than personal. If, nevertheless, there is a leak of information, do not find out publicly the relationship with the offender. This will only earn you a reputation as a brawler. You can talk in private, without witnesses. Provide psychological pressure. And if you are attentive, then you probably know what are the weak points of your offender.
Third situation. Conflicts in society
This can happen anywhere: in transport, in a store, in a bank, on a staircase. The neighbor called, the man in the minibus was naughty, the saleswoman was rude, the bank employee did not pay enough attention to your problem. And now you are already on edge and ready to defeat the ignorant with a retaliatory strike. Try never to react like that, not to respond with rudeness to rudeness. Otherwise, mutual insults will snowball. The best remedy for shamelessness is politeness, it disarms ill-mannered people. In such an atmosphere, they are lost, it is not their environment. And believe me, this is the best method. Many of these people you will never meet again, so why spoil your aura. It is a little more difficult with harmful neighbors, from time to time, you will have to see them. Sometimes conflicts reach the point of absurdity and whole wars begin. This should not be allowed. There are special services that can help.
In conclusion, I would like to say: our strength lies in our weakness. But you should not take these words literally, they have a hidden meaning. Nature has given women a different strength. Be wise and take care of yourself.
Your Glasha.
Tags:,Everyone is periodically faced with rudeness. Not only those with whom you have developed hostile relations can be rude, but also random people: fellow travelers in public transport, patients from the queue at the clinic, shop assistants. Often, intelligent people get lost in a conversation with a boor: this only gives the offender more confidence. Psychologist Vladimir Klimov tells how to politely answer a rude person in order to put him in his place and save his nerves.
"Thanks"
The psychologist says that gratitude in response to rudeness will discourage your abuser. “Just the word“ thank you ”will let your opponent understand that you do not attach importance to his rudeness,” explains Klimov. “Therefore, continuing to insult you is simply pointless. In any case, such a non-standard answer will lead the boor into a stupor, and he will have nothing to say. ""Are you always so angry?"
According to the expert, sometimes rude people themselves do not notice their aggressive attitude towards other people. If such a person is asked a direct question whether he is constantly angry and inadequately reacts to what is happening, he can think about it and next time he will try to control himself.
"What do you want from me?"
The main thing in a dispute with a boor is not to scream yourself, thereby dropping to the level of your opponent. If a rude person in a raised voice expresses his dislike to you, calmly ask what he wants to achieve from you, what he needs from you. Surely the boor will not be able to find an answer to this question, and the conflict will be settled.
"How good you are at being rude!"
Not everyone can come up with a witty phrase on the go, so it can be learned beforehand. Answer the abuser with humor: praise his ability to be rude. There may be several options: "How well you are at being rude!" If your opponent has even an ounce of humor, he will immediately shut up.
"I respect your opinion"
A rude person always finds himself at a loss when he is answered politely for rudeness. Tell your interlocutor that his opinion is important to you, that you respect him. The aggressor will obviously not expect this! “By your answer, you will let the offender know that you are ready to continue your communication, but only in a polite tone,” says the psychologist. "A negatively-minded person is unlikely to want to turn the conversation into an intelligent channel, so he will simply lag behind you."
"How would you answer yourself?"
One of the surest ways to put a person in their place is to invite him to imagine himself as a victim. If you are already tired of listening to rudeness, discourage the boor with a question, how he would behave in your place, what would answer the offender: "What would you say if you were insulted like that?" No one would like to be in such a situation: the rude person will hasten to end an unpleasant conversation."You are absolutely right"
If there is even a small grain of truth behind your abuser's insults, don't be afraid to admit they were right. For example, when an elderly person rudely expresses to you his dissatisfaction with the fact that you did not give him a seat in the transport, do not pay attention to the rudeness, but instead just calmly apologize and say that the interlocutor is absolutely right. Thus, the reason for the continuation of the conflict will disappear.
Laughter
What a rude person certainly does not expect to hear is a loud gurgling laugh. After such a reaction, the boor will either understand that it is useless to continue attacking, or he will decide that you are not yourself - and stop the insults. “And some may even start laughing with you!” Klimov says.
"I love you"
Declaration of love is appropriate in a dispute with loved ones. When a family member runs out of arguments in a conflict with you, and he begins to become rude and abusive, just remind the family member that you love him. The reason for the quarrel will immediately seem insignificant to both of you, and reconciliation will not be far off.
"This is where our conversation needs to end."
Never stoop to the level of a rude person! When you feel that you can no longer endure rudeness and are already ready to respond in kind, politely tell your interlocutor that it is time to end the conversation. “It is quite possible that such a proposal will please your offender as well,” the expert believes. - Often such people themselves are happy to stop the showdown, but they can no longer stop. And it’s so easy to end an unpleasant dispute! ”
Life is a harsh thing. And to constantly wipe your feet about you, it is enough just once to behave like a rag. This common truth must be explained to the child at home so that he does not end up in a difficult situation on the street.
Gone are the days of beautiful duels. In our time, if someone wants to offend with a word, and even more so with an action, he will not invite a second, there is no need for witnesses. And if a defenseless newcomer is bullied at school, no one will defend him and throw a white glove in the face of the offenders. No, everyone must defend themselves, even a child. After all, children are sometimes more cruel than adults. And we are not talking about the pushpins planted on the chair.
More communication
Much in our life is built on communication... First, the ability to communicate competently allows you to avoid conflict with the team. Secondly, a well-hung tongue can be a weapon more terrible than fists. This does not mean that you need to teach the child barbs. It is necessary to intelligibly explain to him that, in general, this world is good, but there are certain individuals (moral invalids) who spoil his happy picture. And you don't need to communicate with them, and if you have a chance, then you can do without ceremony.
If the child does not accept assault, other effective methods of protection should be suggested to him. He can express in words and with all his appearance that he will not allow himself to be touched with a finger. Just for this you need to have self-confidence.
Play different situations with the child, find different answers to the offender, with and without the use of force. The more there are, the more likely the child will choose one of them for himself and use in a real situation. The main thing is not to impose your patterns on the child, saying that fighting is bad (or, on the contrary, good), but discuss everything together. In such cases parental support is very important.
When not to talk
There are such questions (which area are you from? Who in life? Why so impudent?) That do not have right or wrong answers. In such situations, either strong arms or fast legs will help. It's about physical fitness. The quick feet case helps when there is an opportunity to escape. And when she's not there? Then consider the option with the child's classes in martial arts sections.
Aikido is a Japanese martial art based on controlling the opponent's strength by unbalancing and painful effects on his joints. No special physical data is required. Aikido provides tremendous benefits for spiritual development.
Karate- Japanese type of martial arts, based on the use of kicks and punches in combination with defense techniques. Good for health cardiovascular systems, the development of flexibility and strength. As in other sports, you choose whether you train for your own pleasure or to participate in competitions. There are hard and soft schools of karate, but in general it is a hard sport.
Kickboxing is a sport that is not related to martial arts. Simply put, it is boxing with kicks. Training in the kickboxing section is very intensive - you have to jump over the rope, kick heavy punching bags with your feet and hands, and fight in the ring. Here you need to be ready to receive blows to the head, body, legs. There are more gentle types of kickboxing, with 
limited degree of contact, but the most common versions are where the winner is the one with the stronger and faster punches.
Taekwondo- Korean martial arts, based on the technique of kicks and punches, mostly kicks. Many parents enroll their children in the taekwondo section because of the safety and "sportiness" of this style. Clear rules for the conduct of fights, equipment that reliably protects athletes, makes this type especially preferable for girls.
Hand-to-hand combat- this is not some kind of national martial art, it is a synthesis of various types and styles, using a variety of techniques, punches, throws, prone wrestling. The technique of a particular section does not depend on the name, but on the trainer leading the classes in it. The acquired skills of hand-to-hand combat, no doubt, will help in many acute situations. But it does not pay attention to the ethical aspects of martial arts, which are so deeply studied in martial arts.
Family relationships are, unfortunately, not only mutual understanding and love. These are also quarrels, scandals, resentments, disappointments. In general, anything can happen. So what can you do? How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Psychological advice will help you understand this situation. After all, letting such a situation take its course is by no means possible.
Of course, it is unpleasant for every woman to hear insults in her address. Naturally, there is a desire to offend in return or completely stop communicating with this person altogether. The situation is completely different, when humiliation and insults come from your own spouse. First, his words hurt much more. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to "hit" you with a word in order to touch and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still connected by the bonds of marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he cannot decide on a certain rational action. This can last for years. But this is simply unbearable. You need to figure out how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. Psychologists' advice in this case will be very useful. First of all, you need to decide not "what to do", but "what will happen if you do something, but wrong."
What is the reason?
So let's go! How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? The advice of psychologists may be different, but all experts, as one, say that it is necessary to identify the essence of what is happening, the reason for this behavior.
In most cases, women believe that the reason lies in themselves. Either they didn’t have time, then they didn’t, or they didn’t please. Either they are "bad mothers", then "bad cooks", then "unkind wives." In fact, this is not at all the case. These are just reasons for the spouse to find fault and throw out his negativity. The real reason lies in the fact that the husband is sadistic in this pair on purpose. He takes pleasure in humiliating the weak. It is impossible to confuse a sadist with any other person. We are all, of course, human. Everyone can sometimes swear and be rude. However, in the case of the sadist, things are quite different. His insults are saturated with terrifying filth. The vocabulary contains expressions designed not only to call a person, but to offend, hurt, humiliate.
The main thing is to act!
As soon as you start thinking about how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect, the advice of psychologists will be your best assistant. In principle, it is impossible to change such a spouse either by persuasion, or by means of conspiracies, or by means of coding, or by means of hypnosis, and even more subservience to him will not help. Accordingly, it makes no sense to expect that everything will form and improve by itself. That is, you need to start taking action. It is not the husband who needs to be changed. You need to look for protection for yourself and your children.
Fatal mistake
Not every woman thinks about how to teach her husband a lesson for disrespect. The fact is that the fairer sex is used to adapting to different situations. To adversity in life as well. In addition, our women, due to the peculiarities of the mentality, are much more patient than elsewhere. It is not surprising that they are so simply and easily ready to accept humiliation and insults from a man, slowly getting used to them. And this, of course, is their fatal mistake.
Insulting and humiliating his wife, throwing nasty things at her, the husband inflicts a painful blow on her psyche. Even if she endures all this, it will not do anything good. But the worst thing is that each time these attacks "take a course upward." If initially it was the only rude word, then over time there will be a dozen of them. And then blows may follow. As a result, a woman cannot realize herself in life, hobbies, work, feel joy and love. She can only wait for the next attacks every day.
Hitting children
But most of all, our children suffer from such violence. Unfortunately, there is an opinion among many women that for a child, the presence of absolutely any father is very important - even a tyrant and despot, even a name-calling and humiliating one, even an alcoholic, if only he was. Women console themselves with the fact that he is still his own father. Moreover, they are sure of this if the men do not touch the kids. They put up with anything for marriage and financial help.
Naturally, this is a huge delusion. For the child, the mother is always the person who provides him with protection. If they yell at her and hurt her, it means that the baby loses the feeling of security. Accordingly, gets stressed. And this is fraught with negative consequences. Some children begin to steal and lie, others fear death, and still others torture animals.
People rarely associate problems with a child on the one hand and humiliation from a husband on the other. And in vain. The connection is the most direct. Therefore, a woman who wants to keep peace in her family must definitely figure out how to teach her husband a lesson in case of disrespect. There are many tips. The main thing is to choose exactly what you need. Stop at the best option.
The most negative outcome
The worst consequences can be expected if your children have a sound vector. The ears of such children are hypersensitive. That is, they generally need quiet sounds and calmness. If the father yells at the mother, and even throws derogatory words, such a child not only loses a sense of security, like other children - he also receives a powerful blow to the most sensitive zone. Hearing terrible screams, he can gradually lose touch with the outside world, withdraw into himself. This sometimes even leads to autism or schizophrenia.
In general, a woman, especially if she is a mother, needs to take care of her family. Take the necessary actions that could help in the current situation. In short, to do everything so that the husband respects and appreciates his wife.
Excessive focus
So the next step. You figured out the reasons, made conclusions. Now you need to decide how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. There are several ways in psychology. The main thing is to define the task correctly. If you still love your husband, you should not make him suffer. This task lies in the fact that he could realize his guilt, understand what mistake he made, and what pain he caused.
Start paying undue attention to it. Most likely, it will not be easy at all. However, it's worth a try. Give compliments, pleasant surprises, and have romantic dinners. What for? Looking at your efforts, the spouse will be able to understand that he was really wrong, that you are the very thing that no one will ever care about him the way you do. Realizing all this, he will begin to suffer from remorse, to repent in the depths of his soul. And self-flagellation, as you know, is the best punishment. If your spouse only offended you a little, do just that.
Inattention
The next way. How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method, the opposite of the above, is inattention on your part. If your husband does not see how you are trying to please him, forgets about important dates, of course, this is very offensive. However, you shouldn't shout and swear. Just be quiet. He will definitely remember everything he forgot about.
Let's say your husband promised to be back for dinner. He himself, without warning, goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same in retaliation. Let him feel in your place.
Has your spouse stopped thanking you for the food you cooked? Considers fried potatoes common? Stop cooking for him altogether. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Constantly talking about the fact that you are doing nothing while sitting at home? Why put up with slander? Sit down at your computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't really do anything. Let him know how it feels.
Would you like to teach your husband a lesson for the fact that he claims that you are “resting” on maternity leave? Leave it for the whole day with your baby. Well, for yourself, arrange a day of shopping with your friends or visit the spa. It is unlikely that after that he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.
In case of betrayal
Probably, in this way one of the most terrible troubles manifests itself when the husband does not respect his wife. What to do in this case? Someone cannot forgive a spouse and just break up with him. But many loving women, who cannot imagine their life without insidious traitors, are not ready to take this step.
The easiest way is to declare a boycott. Stop washing and ironing his clothes, cooking, or helping out. In general, completely ignore your husband. Communicate with him only in case of emergency. Do not forget that this method is rather risky. With this attitude, the spouse can simply go to another woman. However, think: do you need such a husband at all?
One of the most difficult ways to punish a faithful person is indifference. Pretend that his betrayal is completely indifferent to you. Surely he expects scandals, screams, tantrums from you. And you will act as if nothing happened. Joke between cases from time to time over the fact of his betrayal. In this case, he will certainly begin to torment him with remorse. He will ask you for forgiveness and try to justify himself. Any man will be shocked by such a reaction. Thoughts will appear in your head that you have stopped loving him, that you need to somehow atone for your guilt. According to many psychologists, this will serve as a great lesson for the future for your spouse.
In case of drunkenness
Another big problem. Why does the husband not respect his wife, bringing her to nervous breakdowns with his daily drinking and partying? Perhaps unable to cope with this addiction? Or maybe he doesn't even try, doing it out of pure egoism or, even worse, to spite his wife?
What to do? To begin with, take into account absolutely all the consequences that his drunkenness affects. If this happens regularly, ruining your plans, he must be sure to teach a good lesson.
It is best to expose your husband in the most impartial way. Show him how stupid he looks when he gets drunk. Unleash your imagination by choosing your punishment. You can cover his fingernails with bright varnish, and hide the nail polish remover away. Give only when he asks for your forgiveness. You can draw a mustache with a waterproof marker, or write an indecent word on your forehead. You can paint your lips. Or you can even cut the clothes in which he came to ask in the morning where he was worn.
Outcomes
Let's summarize. How to teach a husband to respect his wife? Just love yourself. And respect yourself. Do not let your spouse be rude to you, offend, cheat or beat you. But if this happens, first of all, be sure to teach a lesson. Perhaps it was the first and only time ... And do not forget to talk frankly with your husband after that. Try to find out what drove him in a given situation. Who knows if it might make you look at the situation with different eyes?
("General Psychology").
The biblical legend says that rudeness takes its origin from the third son of noyah - ham. One day the young man saw his father sleeping without clothes, and instead of covering his nakedness, at the same hour he told his brothers about what he had seen. Such an act testified not only to disrespect for his parent, but also violated the customs of that time ...
The retribution was cruel: one of the sons of the ham - Canaan - was given into slavery. There is nothing in common between this story and the rudeness of the saleswoman in the store? Unfortunately, this is not so, because rudeness in its essence is nothing more than a lack of respect not only for others, but also for oneself.
How to avoid conflict?
Try to understand who is rude to you.
At first glance, it seems that it is very difficult. But if you learn about the reasons that pushed a person to sink so low and offend another, this allows at least not to take rudeness to heart. As it is sung in a well-known children's song: "There are Bites Dogs Only from the Life of a Dog." Remember, they are rude from a lack of self-respect and, if desired, to assert themselves.
Keep your distance.
Often a witty answer comes to mind late - when the boor has already safely disappeared from sight. We agree that self-esteem often suffers from this, but remember that, speaking rudeness, a boor does not even think to enter into a dialogue with you. Also, do not be afraid and in no case show your fear to the rude person.
Act unexpectedly.
Thus, if you wanted to blame the boor for his inappropriate behavior, think about why you need it. Agree, it is extremely doubtful that an outsider will say a phrase like: "Thank you for paying attention to my rudeness and tactlessness. I promise you will no longer see that I behave this way."
It is best to try to gently but persistently explain that a boor has no right to treat you like that. For example: "I See that you are Unhappy with My Behavior (Action), Sorry." You can also use the manipulative phrase: “Can I help you somehow?” Using these techniques, you will show your strength and at the same time you will not sink to tactlessness.
Phrases for avoiding conflict.
“On what basis are you asking me these questions? Thus, you show that the aggressor has no right to interfere in your personal life. chose.
"Is this a statement?", "Is this an indication?", "Is this a question? Use such phrases if you feel that you have been touched by the quick, but do not understand what exactly you do not agree with.
“What makes you tell me this?”, “What made you tell me that (do?
"Don't Raise Your Voice on Me", "You shouldn't talk to me in such a tone", "Please don't speak out about me in the third person if I'm in the same room with you."
Replace the abuser with phrases that can be visualized through hearing or vision. Only if you say something abstract, like: "I ask you to stop behaving like a boor," then the offender can ignore this, because what he does not see and does not hear can be considered your subjective opinion ...
"How can I fix the situation so that you no longer want me to be rude?" how rudeness disappears by itself.
Unfortunately, these days rudeness has become the norm, and not an exception to the rule. Everywhere: in transport, in shops, at work, and even in their own family, people are rude to each other, vent their anger, say unpleasant jokes or very offensive words.
How not to be offended
Method one: gaze
It is necessary to abruptly interrupt the conversation, or give up business, and direct a close look at the interlocutor. Whatever he does, you should be silent for a while and look at him directly. This often confuses a person and he gets lost. This technique is often used by teachers to grab the attention of students and force them to be treated with respect.
Method two: expressing disgust
Add disgust to the gaze. This will make the other person feel very confused and lose confidence. At such moments, a person usually tries to translate everything that was said earlier into a joke, but at the same time he learns a lesson and realizes that this cannot be done to you.
Method three: a sense of humor
You can not give yourself offense with the help of a sense of humor. Just laugh at your opponent if he says something offensive to you. Usually, mockery in response to unpleasant words puts the person in their place. When using this strategy, you need to feel confident, and it does not matter what you say, the main thing is that it makes you have fun.
Method four: praise
To take control of the situation into your own hands and discourage the interlocutor, turn the conversation to another topic - start talking about his positive qualities, praising him. Everyone is pleased to hear praise in their address, and at the same time the person begins to smile, involuntarily starting to feel good about you.
Depending on the situation and the degree of your erudition, you can choose one of the tactics, or use them all in turn. When your friends and acquaintances receive a "rebuff" from you several times, they will keep the distance you have set in conversation with you.
Don't be afraid to sound harsh or harsh to someone else. Is it important for you to maintain a good relationship with someone who does not think highly of you and allows you to behave rudely or disrespectfully?
How to put a person in place with words. Speech attack techniques: how to put insolent people in place
Our speech is rich in expressive means and gives many opportunities to put the insolent person in his place. It is not for nothing that people who are able to defeat an opponent with a word are said to have a sharp tongue. Here are some effective tricks.
- Best defense is attack. In response to a rude remark or reproach, do not make excuses, but immediately express your complaint to your opponent regarding his behavior, actions, position. And do it in such a way that the interlocutor feels a sense of guilt, this will deprive him of a sense of superiority.
- Change black to white. Has your interlocutor expressed dissatisfaction with your behavior? Find the positives in your actions and voice them. This will confuse the insolent person and give you a psychological advantage.
- Weak! Effect. This is an effective psychological technique that works flawlessly. If a person is dissatisfied with your work, invite him to do it himself, to do it better, to show how it should be. As a rule, this proposal knocks down the arrogance of the critic.
- Ignoring. This is not entirely rhetorical, but effective. Nothing pisses off impudent people like contemptuous silence in response to their remarks. Especially if the silence is accompanied by a condescending smile.
Using the techniques of rhetoric, try not to slip into the level of rudeness and insults. This is not only indecent and ineffective, but also proves that the statements of the interlocutor seriously offended you. Do not please the impudent with your irritation and resentment.
How not to be offended by other people? How to properly position yourself in society ?? All these questions arise before every person throughout his life. Then, when he gets to know other people, builds relationships, enters a new team, gets into the spotlight. In short, it is important to understand how not to be offended and gain respect.
In fact, the answer is simple. Have you noticed how those people who are usually loved and respected in society relate to themselves? With respect and love. They clearly make it clear to those around them how to deal with them, and how they can not, build personal boundaries and do not allow anyone to violate them. They are not afraid of what people will think of them, they are not afraid of condemnation. They behave friendly, sincere, but at the same time they know how to put a person in his place if someone decides to offend him.
Depending on the age, the methods of how not to be offended may differ. For example, my dad, when he was still a schoolboy and got into a new class, immediately warned the children that it was better not to offend or touch him, because the offender would not be good at it later. One of the classmates decided to check his words for sincerity and got into a fight. As a result, he hit him on the head with a heavy construction ruler and cut his skull. They called an ambulance, stopped the blood ... There was a noise! Thank God, everything worked out and now my father's offender is my godfather. And then since then, no one has touched my dad.
I'm not saying that everything needs to be decided by force, it's just that different ages have their own methods. After all, now, in his 50 years, dad does not cut anyone's head with a ruler! He will just put a person in his place that he will then think ten times whether it is necessary to touch him. The main thing is not how you will defend yourself. The question is, do you feel ready to internally immediately define your boundaries in front of everyone? Do you feel confident in yourself? Or is fear owning you?
If a person is afraid, everything inside shrinks, and at the same time declares to the team about his importance, they will laugh in his face. Well, or behind the back, if we are talking about adulthood. It is important to have high self-esteem, to be self-confident, not afraid of people. Only then will you be respected. Only then will you not let yourself be offended.
Even when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman, what matters is what you really think about yourself. This is what your partner will read, not what you tell him. If you respect yourself, he will respect you too. If you accept yourself, he will accept you too. If you criticize yourself constantly, he will criticize you too. Well, if you do not consider yourself a worthy woman, then he will offend and insult you. Everything is in our head.
Therefore, to the question: "How not to be offended?", I always answer one. Love yourself, learn to appreciate and respect yourself.
With love, Yulia Kravchenko
How to put people in their place. How to put a rude person who offends in place, how to react to attacks
- Silence. Silence is a dangerous and powerful weapon. If you apply this advice in practice, then you will be able to quickly calm the boor, he himself will understand that he was wrong. If you reciprocate, then you will remain a loser, because they managed to piss you off and anger;
- Smile. A smile is also an equally effective weapon against any criticism and conflicts. If you smile during an argument and don't react to negativity, your nerves will be fine and the attacker will be disarmed. The spiteful critic will see that it is useless to fight here. In a conflict, you just need to rise above the situation and then you will immediately understand how low and small the one who is trying to disturb your psyche;
- Embarrass. During a dispute, it is necessary to make sure that the attacker is in an awkward position. This can be done with the help of a joke, a wise phrase, ignoring;
- Support the boor. You can try another behavior - to support the boor, that is, accept his opinion, assent to him, agree and nod his head at everything he says. You will be able to play a funny scene, and the impudent person will be in a stupor;
- Gaze. The look should be sympathetic. Look at the interlocutor in silence for 30 seconds, pretend that he looks like a wall. You don't even need to say anything here, the enemy will be destroyed;
- Carlson's formula. "Calm, only calm", this statement should become your credo forever in dealing with rude people. The main task in any situation is not to lose self-esteem.
It is possible to insult with clever words more than with obscenities. Correctly selected phrases will hit the weakest points of the personality, human psyche, self-esteem, exposing negative qualities to the show.
It is quite difficult to morally humiliate a person. The interlocutor must have the ability to express thoughts eloquently.
Knowing the basic elements of psychology, it will not be difficult to find a flaw in a person, and reading books will help in choosing bright words.
Nicely humiliate a person using phrases:
- I would like to talk to an intelligent person in this situation, so move a little further away from me.
- I really want to offend you with a word, but nature made it a deed.
- I look at you as simple as a corner of the house. Moreover, this angle is obtuse.
- It is difficult to talk to a person who cannot ……. (For example, drink tea without smacking his lips), not that starting any business with him.
- Where did such wonderful parents come from such a miracle as you?
- To surprise me, you just have to say something clever tonight.
- It's amazing how a person degrades using only words.
- Young man, turn down the intensity of your statements.
Speaking seriously and without obscenities, it is easy to get cruel, undeniable insults that drive you to frenzy, to tears.
Clever expression is more effective when it is said in the presence of strangers of the opposite sex.
Most of all, I am personally finished off by formless rudeness. It is akin to an abomination in which to put in place is a matter of honor and conscience. 7 brisk phrases are at your service.
When adolescents are rude, be careful of resentment.
Sometimes their rabidness goes beyond all limits.
When you are rude, put the freak in his place, assessing the degree of risk and the danger of verbal rapprochement.
The best solution would be iron endurance, which will be attacked by an irrepressible and vulgar person.
* When you get tired of being rude, sit down and catch your breath, otherwise the heart may not stand it. 
* Don't point me to the place. You rush at people like a pack of dogs from which a gnawed bone has been taken away.
* Hamka is not you, but your twisted mouth, living a hectic life.
* Am I a cow? Anything can be. I’ll start it now. And you are so emaciated out of anger that I just want to show you the way to the oncologist.
* Woman, stop being rude, I let you go ahead. Just look, do not stumble the next time you find yourself in the same place.
* Your phrases do not bother me. Rudeness shortens the years of life, so you don't have to smoke the earth for long.
* How smartly you put everyone in their place. We will leave, otherwise God forbid we will still become infected with an incurable disease.
Before using the phraseological units indicated above in practice, it is worth remembering that some of them can provoke a severe conflict, as well as program the addressee for fatal consequences.
For this reason, I cannot vouch that this will not happen.
Video how to put a boor in place
For every power, there is a different power. When a person is full of anger and resentment, it does not always come out to remain silent on his foul language. Sometimes you want to answer. How can you answer without losing your temper and without sinking to the level of your interlocutor?
1. To talk to you on the same level, I have to lie down! ..
2. I don't know what you eat at breakfast, but it really works! Intellect tends to zero!
3. Just don’t take the headphones out of your ears. God forbid you chill your brain from the inside with a draft.
4. Should I go to a psychologist? No, of course, thank you very much for the good advice, but you shouldn't equate everyone on your own.
5. You will open your mouth at the dentist. 
6. To shock me, you have to say something smart.
7. One more beep from your platform and your dental unit will move.
8. So that you celebrate your wedding at McDonalds.
9. If I enjoyed communicating with cyclists, I would have had a dog for a long time.
10. The mind is like a shell.
11. Looking at you I begin to understand that nothing human is alien to God. He has a great sense of humor.
12. Talk, talk ... I always yawn when I'm interested!
13. Would you decorate the world with your absence, until I took sin on my soul!
14. Of the positive qualities you have only the "Rh factor". 
15. I live opposite the cemetery. If you show off, you will live opposite me.
16. Does everyone love you? Oh, well, yes, love is evil ...
17. Yes, so that you could hide behind a teaspoon in the bath!
18. - Girl, do you miss? - Not by that much…
19. Your right to your own opinion does not yet oblige me to listen to nonsense.
20. - You can't put a "thank you" in your pocket. - you will carry it in your hands !!!
21. Hey, you, rosette! The tulip is out of here, and then how to zagheorgin, you will become gray!
22. I came to you with greetings, with an iron and a pistol
24. It is better to be cleverly silent than to speak stupidly
25. Is this a collection of words, or do I need to think about it?
26. I'm sorry I didn't live up to your stereotypes
27. In some heads, thoughts come to die
28. He: Will we go to you or will we go to me?
She: Simultaneously. You - to yourself, and I - to myself.
29. What, the verbal oil well ran out?
30. A madhouse on the road, psychos in nature!
31. What are you looking at? Are you in a museum or what? I'll arrange a cultural event for you in two acts without intermission! I will give a crack - the head will fly off
32. And you, what do you think that if you yell at me louder, I will listen more quietly?
33. You will now carry your glasses home with me. In different pockets.
34. Your style of speech reminds me of the bazaar dialect of the distant nineties at the end of the last century.
35. And don't laugh! Laughing for no reason is a sign that a person is either an idiot or a pretty girl. If you want to convince me of the second - first, shave.
How to respond in specific situations. Examples!
1. Agree with the offending person. Classic:
- Yes, you are a complete fool and an idiot!
- Yes. I have a certificate! Do you think it is very clever to prove something to a fool?
- You're just a fool!
- Agree! This is because you constantly have to talk to fools.
- I am not satisfied with your answers!
- What are the questions, such are the answers!
- Yes, I am smarter than all of you put together!
- Of course! After all, you have a ward of mind. Another would be a watchman to this shed ...
2. Bring a statement directed in your direction to the point of absurdity:
- Hey, slow down!
- I can't, there must be one brake. (It is impossible, our pair already has one brake!)
- What are you doing?
- I'm doing it in my pants.
- You, what are you raising me now?
- And who do you now consider yourself a bee or a rabbit?
3. Turn a negative statement into a positive one:
- You are a loshara!
- If not for fuckers, where would you be now?
- Some idiots around!
- Don't you usually feel smart?
- What kind of phone is grabbed when I'm talking to you ?!
- I also prefer to talk to smart people!
4. Press the person “weakly”. After all, no one likes to feel like a weakling:
- Something you dance like shitty ..
- I don’t dance, I just remove my legs so that you don’t crush them to me ... (And you know how cool I embroider with a cross!)
- What are you blathering?
- It's strange, but others like my speech ... Do you have no sense of beauty, or hearing problems?
- Are you making yourself smart?
- Do you have problems communicating with smart ones?
5. What do you want?
- Well, why are you quiet?
- And you already wanted to get to the surgeon's table by this time?
- Well, who's brave?
“You talk to me as if you’ve lost your subscription to the emergency room.
- You are a simple housewife!
- Would you like me to be a foreign exchange prostitute?
You need to fight rudeness! Remember, when someone is rude to you and you want to cry, it means that the interlocutor has achieved his goal. I asserted myself at your expense and strengthened myself with a considerable share of your energy! Do not encourage this behavior in any way!