Hakamada aikido business negotiations. Verbal Aikido. develop standard thinking

"Even if they tell you:" You are a fool "- answer:" Yes, I am a fool! "".

On February 21, Irina Khakamada held her famous master class "Aikido of Business Negotiations" at the Central House of Entrepreneurs. Slon publishes a snippet of it.

What is the art of aikido negotiation? That you get good results, even if your position is less advantageous than the position of the one with whom you are talking. Your partner is objectively stronger. But you still want to achieve your result. Aikido is the art of winning while being formally weaker than your partner. A small business talks to a big one. Or you get hired - you are small, and there is such a huge company, and it is important for you to pass this test. Or you owe the bank, took a stupid loan, you have to pay it back, but you have no money, and you come to the bank to persuade it to restructure your debts and not take away your apartment. Most of the time you say it is impossible. Maybe!

When a rapist in a movie catches a victim and is about to kill her, what does a literate victim do who doesn't want to be killed? He talks, tries to identify himself. A rapist can kill "it", but if your name is that and you have such and such emotions, it is very difficult to kill you. It is very difficult for a bank to destroy you if emotionally you have already involved him in your life story and he already knows everything about your first love, and about your wife, and about your children. If you are no longer just a client, but a person with certain properties, it becomes more and more difficult to destroy you. And as soon as you have achieved that you are identified - consider that you won. Then you will definitely squeeze out your interest.

What determines your victory? The main principle: you know how to return aggression and use someone else's energy. If you saw: I participate in debates, someone yells at me, and I stand calmly. Zyuganov yells: "You rabble!" - and I am silent. Why? Because, as soon as he insulted me, I rejoice in myself: O-o-o! Come on! You start spending, you will soon get tired! Come on, come on, the more you spend now, the more you get tired and the faster I can win. No need to be afraid of aggression, no need to shake, in no case should you become aggressive in response and allow yourself to be pissed off. You don't have to waste energy. You reflect, you follow the person and wait for him to start spending energy. When he spends it, you get it. As soon as a person becomes aggressive, consider that you already have thirty percent of the victory. Rejoice in this! No, of course, you don't need to smile - you pretend that you are experiencing something there. But to yourself - rejoice.

The whole idea of aikido negotiation is that you have to talk and negotiate in such a way as to allow the enemy to show aggression or weakness. As long as he does not manifest either one or the other, you cannot achieve your goal. You need to make him talk. And for this you need to ask questions. If you ask the right question that falls on the soul of a person, and it doesn't matter in what area, not necessarily in a professional one, it can be a distracting question - about a book, an exhibition, or whatever. The main thing is for the person to start up. If it starts up, that's it, you're in luck, you've caught it. Let him speak. Let him talk about anything - about what he likes, about what he does not like. If he speaks, sooner or later he will give some kind of error. Or, in any case, he will tell about himself. The second principle of aikido is the ability to give the enemy the freedom to show his mistakes. For this, do not forget, you must learn to talk about anything. And ask questions about nothing. We are very weak with this.

Think of such topics in advance - about nothing. Look through the magazines. Themes can be anything. For example: it turns out that the banana genome differs from the human genome by only 30%. There was a pause in the conversation - and you suddenly ask: "Can you imagine how your genome differs from the genome of a banana?" He told you, dumbfounded: "What?" And you: “No, well, it's just very interesting! It turns out that I differ from Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin by only one thousandth! " Or you stick in an anecdote - there are a lot of them, read the Internet. This is the easiest way.

How to untie the tongue? Prepared jokes - but you can't tell, it's embarrassing. Experiment with your friends! Here guests come to you - and you tell them about the banana genome.

Another good way is to say, "I didn't get it." “I don’t understand how the banana genome can differ from the human genome by only 30%?” As soon as people are asked, they begin to get involved, explain something to you - and now you have already struck up a conversation.

You must learn to be relaxed. If you are tense, you will constantly think about what, how and why you are saying, nothing will work out. You have to work impromptu. You dropped the topic - and relaxed you wait. Only in this way will you catch your partner's mistake and only in this way will you understand when your finest hour comes. At this moment you start to shove like a tank. If you suddenly see: it doesn't work out - hop! And drove off. You don't need to build any models in advance, play on emotions.

So, you need to be able to return aggression and use other people's energy. You need to be able to give your opponent the freedom to make mistakes. And be able to be at the same time relaxed and catch your updraft.

You forget about pride. You are ready to pretend to be idiots, weak, insignificant, whatever - whoever your partner wants to see you, so you will be. Only the result is important to you. This is especially difficult for men. But even if they tell you: "You are a fool," answer: "Yes, I am a fool!" Only in this way can you do something, wring out your own.

You are not in a hurry. You pull just as long as it takes to catch your flow. If the stream is not caught, you pull further. If the negotiations are at an impasse, you in no way agree to sign an agreement on conditions that are unfavorable to you. You pause, under any pretext. They looked at the clock: “God, I completely forgot! I urgently need to jump out! " He jumped out - called - jumped back: “There is such a collapse here! Let's see you tomorrow! " - and flew out - so that they did not even have time to stop you. If you are weak, you must be “stuffy,” stubbornly pulling on your own. You will not succeed with a checker on horseback, you are not Prokhorov. It was he who jumped out - booty, and that's it, 18 billion. Do you have 18 billion? That's just it. Therefore, you will have to act differently.

How do most people negotiate? They say: “I have a special project. We can achieve amazing results, and it costs three pennies. And it will be awesome. Let's add up, let's make your investment. Come on, come on, come on! I have such an idea! Well, such a brilliant idea !!! " What does it look like? A normal person, an investor, is sitting. I go over, take his hand and tug. Like: "Let's go!" - "Where did you go?" - “But we went there, there is an ice cream stall” - “But I don’t want ice cream!” - "No, let's go, I want some ice cream, so you come with me!"

Resistance arises in a person. Especially in Russia. According to its mentality, Russia is a country of endless treason. Therefore, when they openly offer something, they are trying to throw me off somehow. Therefore, the first way to sell something in Russia is to say: “It’s not for sale at all, and don’t come close, everything is sold ten years in advance to Fridman!” That's when yes, interest arises. Therefore, it is very difficult to propose something.

The idea behind aikido is that you don't grab a person by the hand and drag him to where the ice cream is. You go up to a person, sit next to him, talk to him - about his affairs, about the weather. He begins to tell you something, you take his hand and go for a walk. If you find out that your interlocutor wants a steak, then go to the steak. And he speaks, speaks, speaks. What were his previous negotiations about, what was bad in his life. You console, help to figure it out. You talk, talk, now you already have a complete understanding - and suddenly a stall with ice cream appears on your way.

You do not drag him in your direction. You think all the time about what your client wants, and you only play on this, on his desires. You find out these desires, you take him by the arm - and talk only about him, your beloved. You have completely forgotten about yourself. And your partner simply does not notice how you, speaking in his language about what interests him, bring him to your ice cream.

The world of business is entirely built on the possibility of reaching an agreement: somewhere to offer more favorable conditions, somewhere to smooth out the rough edges with personal charisma, somewhere to mention an influential patron, and somewhere to bluff frankly. What if someone tries to impose unacceptable conditions on you? How to recognize manipulation by the opponent and use it for your own purposes? And how is the technique of negotiations with the Russians different from negotiations with the Americans and Japanese? Irina Khakamada, author of the master class "Aikido of Business Negotiations" and the book "Tao of Life", tells the RBG correspondent about this and many other things.

- How do the styles of negotiating with Russians, Asians and Westerners differ?

You need to negotiate with the Russians in such a way that it becomes absolutely clear to them that you do not need anything from them. Because as soon as you make it clear, for example, to your investor that you need him, he immediately doubts - do they want to cheat him and drag him into unnecessary and unjustified expenses? I had a case when a businessman was interested in financing my project. We met for negotiations, and for two hours I talked about anything - cinema, literature, politics - but not about my project. When, finally, a potential investor asked me about the project, I just gave him the folder with the developments. As a result, we worked together very well afterwards.

You need to work with the Americans differently - quickly and clearly: state the theses of your project, clearly answer questions. Americans do not tend to delay making a decision, so you can get an agreement or a refusal in the first ten minutes of negotiations. It's more difficult with Asians. If they are Japanese, you will have to play a cunning conversation, making curtseys towards their national culture. Smiles, mutual praises, long negotiations, goals are disguised. Express your thoughts as covertly as possible, otherwise your partners will consider you a primitive interlocutor. If you happen to negotiate with the Chinese, here you need to focus on the monetary profit that this project promises them. The Chinese are quite mercantile, where there is money - there is happiness.

- How to influence the emotional state of the interlocutor and arouse sympathy?

There are several important tricks. One of them is mirroring. First, you need to determine the psychotype of the interlocutor. Five such types can be conventionally distinguished. The Epicurean is a lover of living: good food, drink, women, luxury. Such people dress expensively, but awkwardly, carelessly. Negotiations with the Epicureans should be conducted in a good restaurant, discussing food, wine, etc.

Officials are rather closed people, they think hierarchically, speak dryly, in short phrases. They are very conservatively dressed. With such people, you need to speak in their language, in their phrases, highlighting the benefits that the project will bring not to humanity as a whole, but to them personally.

Technocrats use English business vocabulary, they always have the latest smartphones, expensive tablets. With them, you need to go straight to the heart of the matter: the price of this startup, profit, costs ...

There are creators - people who are downright obsessed with some idea, very emotional, with a wonderful imagination. You can talk to the creator on a large scale, aiming to change the world, no less!

If you happen to negotiate with the player, then you have to work hard here. These people are able to combine several psychotypes in themselves, alternating them depending on a specific situation. And here you need to be one step ahead of the interlocutor in changing roles. This is the only way to replay the player.

For the rest, ask questions that will ultimately lead you to what you have in common with this person. Find a common ground, sympathy will start. The main thing is not to be too fixated on yourself, but to be sincerely interested in the interlocutor (while it is not necessary to sympathize with him) and notice the details.

- What to do if partners impose unfavorable conditions during the negotiation process?

The main thing is not to rush. Inexperienced negotiators often want to quickly respond with an argument to an argument, to demonstrate their knowledge of the issue. And you need to "pull the rubber", but do it lively and interesting. If you are faced with a choice, do not rush to say yes or no, take a break. The optimal answer is "Good idea! I need to think it over." Ask questions, listen, assent. This is necessary so that both parties have the opportunity to relax, get used to, consider the psychotype of the interlocutor and wait for the conversation to turn in your direction. If you are weaker in negotiations, then you should be more attentive and patient. If you are "pushed against the wall" and are required to make a decision here and now, leave the negotiations under any plausible pretext. Never make a decision under pressure.

There is one more technique which I call the "red elephant method". Red bishops are conditions that you are ready to refuse, but your opponent does not know about it. Give the other side what they want, and mask your interests in small but key details. If your opponents are preparing a draft agreement, describe what you are willing to concede. And then fight for these positions to the death, exhausting the enemy. And leave the most important thing for you at the end, persuading the interlocutor to agree: you have already conceded so much!

- How to recognize manipulation? And how can you then use it for your own purposes?

You need to closely monitor the interlocutor and respond to his manipulation with the same manipulation. For example, you have made an appointment to meet one-on-one with a future partner to discuss your project. And he comes to the meeting, accompanied by two more people, introducing them as his assistant secretaries. And you suspect that these are not secretaries, but a lawyer and a psychologist who, during negotiations, write notes with advice to your opponent. Don't get lost! Next time come with your specialists, introducing them as assistants, with whom you should go to the next meeting during the day. If your interlocutor is inclined to "squeeze" you in exhausting negotiations, take with you an experienced lawyer who will not allow your opponent to include small but ambiguous clauses in the agreement. If you cannot independently determine what your interlocutor is, take a psychologist with you. This is a fairly common practice in the West. If you are a man and are negotiating with men for a cocktail, you can bring an attractive companion with you as an escort. Your partners will be distracted, which will give you a few points head start.

What if you are obviously weaker in negotiations? For example, if you are from a marginalized minority or a woman among men?

The world is still patriarchal, so a woman is rarely perceived as an authority. Do it more cunningly: negotiate, referring to a man who is authoritative in this environment. For example: "Colleagues, I want to introduce you to this project. Once Steve Jobs did something similar ..." You can also drastically change your style of behavior. You have just been twittering about the weather and shopping, and now in a businesslike tone, you are proposing to finally get down to business.

For the rest - do not overwhelm the interlocutor. Try to bring yourself into such an inner state where your emotions do not depend in any way on whether these negotiations will be successful or not. For example, I advise my students to do this exercise: think over the next two days after negotiations fail. Imagine leaving the hall, calling your wife / husband, smoking a cigarette, returning home, reading a book ... In a word, so that you understand that after unsuccessful negotiations, life will continue. And then rewind this picture back like a film strip, and go to negotiations.

- What to do if your opponent is openly aggressive?

There are two reasons for being rude in negotiations: either for the purpose of provocation, so that you lose your balance, or simply because of incontinence of nature. In both cases, lean a little to the side, letting this "hurricane" pass you, take a few breaths in / out and calmly answer: "Perhaps you are right. But let's not give in to emotions. We work together!" Or you can turn everything into a joke, copying the aggressive intonation of the interlocutor. It so happens that all your efforts are useless. Then be prepared for the fact that you will have to part with this interlocutor, and take risks - harshly and uncompromisingly, leaning forward and gazing intently into the eyes of your opponent, besiege him, threaten, bluff, if necessary. But this is already an extreme measure, when there is nothing to lose.

And the last thing: you cannot win all negotiations! Nothing wrong. Analyze your mistakes and forward again!

Today I present to your attention an interview with Ekaterina Kalysheva with a candidate of economic sciences, associate professor, public figure and writer Irina Khakamada.

How do the styles of negotiating with Russians, Asians and Westerners differ?

How to influence the emotional state of the interlocutor and arouse sympathy?

There are creators - people who are downright obsessed with some idea, very emotional, with a wonderful imagination. You can talk to the creator on a large scale, aiming to change the world, no less!

What to do if partners impose unfavorable terms during the negotiation process?

The main thing is not to rush. Inexperienced negotiators often want to quickly respond with an argument to an argument, to demonstrate their knowledge of the issue. And you need to "pull the rubber", but doing it is lively and interesting. If you are faced with a choice, do not rush to say yes or no, take a break. The optimal answer is “Good idea! I need to think it over. " Ask questions, listen, assent. This is necessary so that both parties have the opportunity to relax, get used to, consider the psychotype of the interlocutor and wait for the conversation to turn in your direction. If you are weaker in negotiations, then you should be more attentive and patient. If you are “pushed against the wall” and are required to make a decision here and now, leave the negotiations under any plausible pretext. Never make a decision under pressure.

There is one more technique which I call the “red elephant method”. Red bishops are conditions that you are ready to refuse, but your opponent does not know about it. Give the other side what they want, and mask your interests in small but key details. If your opponents are preparing a draft agreement, describe what you are willing to concede. And then fight for these positions to the death, exhausting the enemy. And leave the most important thing for you at the end, persuading the interlocutor to agree: you have already conceded so much!

How to recognize manipulation? And how can you then use it for your own purposes?

You need to closely monitor the interlocutor and respond to his manipulation with the same manipulation. For example, you have made an appointment to meet one-on-one with a future partner to discuss your project. And he comes to the meeting, accompanied by two more people, introducing them as his assistant secretaries. And you suspect that these are not secretaries, but a lawyer and psychologist who, during negotiations, write notes with advice to your opponent. Don't get lost! Next time come with your specialists, introducing them as assistants, with whom you should go to the next meeting during the day. If your interlocutor is inclined to "squeeze" you in exhausting negotiations, take with you an experienced lawyer who will not allow your opponent to include small but ambiguous clauses in the agreement. If you cannot independently determine what your interlocutor is, take a psychologist with you. This is a fairly common practice in the West. If you are a man and are negotiating with men for a cocktail, you can bring an attractive companion with you as an escort. Your partners will be distracted, which will give you a few points head start.

What if you are obviously weaker in negotiations? For example, if you are from a marginalized minority or a woman among men?

The world is still patriarchal, so a woman is rarely perceived as an authority. Do it more cunningly: negotiate, referring to a man who is authoritative in this environment. For example: “Colleagues, I would like to present this project to you. Steve Jobs once did something similar ... ”You can also dramatically change your style of behavior. You have just been twittering about the weather and shopping, and now in a businesslike tone, you are proposing to finally get down to business.

What to do if your opponent is openly aggressive?

There are two reasons for being rude in negotiations: either for the purpose of provocation, so that you lose your balance, or simply because of incontinence of nature. In both cases, lean slightly to the side, letting this “hurricane” pass by, take a few breaths in / out and calmly answer: “Perhaps you are right. But let's not get emotional. We must work together! ”Or you can turn everything into a joke, copying the aggressive intonations of the interlocutor. It so happens that all your efforts are useless. Then be prepared for the fact that you will have to part with this interlocutor, and take risks - harshly and uncompromisingly, leaning forward and gazing intently into the eyes of your opponent, besiege him, threaten, bluff, if necessary. But this is already an extreme measure, when there is nothing to lose.

And the last thing: you cannot win all negotiations! Nothing wrong. Analyze your mistakes and forward again!

Current page: 4 (total of the book has 10 pages) [available passage for reading: 2 pages]

Business communication

In a period of economic growth, the inability to negotiate and gather creative people around you has little effect on profits. It grows and grows somehow. After all, why pay HR managers then? Let them work. But in a crisis, the responsibility rests entirely with the manager, because the HR manager will not be able to conduct effective negotiations, say, on reducing salaries. And the CFO cannot cope with a bank demanding debt repayment.

The crisis of 2008 showed that small and medium-sized businesses have gone to pieces largely due to the inability to negotiate. Given that there is a long phase of instability in the global economy ahead, the art of negotiation, especially if you are in a weak position, becomes a factor of survival. Not everyone approaches a debt crisis, some feel great and become king. But the kings, or rather, their orders and money, are not enough for everyone. The one who skillfully convinces will win.

What to do?

1. By any means, even by prayers, create the mood of a successful entrepreneur. In hysterics and depression, you cannot negotiate. Remember the joke about the elephant? "You can't sell an elephant with such a mood!" Is a good phrase. Therefore, no matter what happens, we relieve stress, even if tomorrow is the deadline for paying debts, and today you need to agree on money with investors. The same is true when looking for a new job or investment, when passing tests. Sadness won't work.

Brief formula for approaching a topic in a personal crisis:

crisis → depression →

→ “dead” → cheered up

→ negotiating

(everything is in accelerated mode, otherwise you will go bankrupt).

2. Develop a wide menu of interesting proposals for the other side. Broad, since kings are different, and in Russia the subjective psychological factor plays a greater role than in the West. Russian entrepreneurs are prone to prejudice in many ways, and this will have to be overcome by luring them into joint work, as if down the aisle, with love.

3. Identify potential stakeholders, the so-called

the address group to be mapped. To sell an idea, you need to know your consumer market and its effective demand.

In an unpredictable and tough environment with insufficient market position, it is foolish to play with muscles. The monsters will not notice, and the little ones will be offended. Just like puffing out your cheeks. Everyone is not up to you. And you, having found a potential customer, cannot lose. The situation is acute: starting opportunities do not give a chance to win, and it is impossible not to win. You have a weight category of 60 kg, and your market partner has 100 kg. What to do? It is only in the movies that the wiry sprat defeats the shark. In life, he will definitely swallow. In such a situation, the East comes to the rescue, or rather, martial arts, or, more precisely, aikido - the art of using the enemy's strength in battle. The more aggressive the enemy is, the better - we simply return the energy of his own blow to him. In politics, I've always been a lightweight competing against super-heavyweights. There were no tough oligarchs, no political clans, or liberal popular masses behind me. I had to include "Japanese" - polite but persistent, Russian - sincere and simple-minded, and, finally, my Armenian temperament. This is how a personal style of negotiation was formed.

Aikido negotiation

So, aikido is the art of winning by being weaker. In this case, the victory depends on:

1) the ability to return aggression without putting a block, but letting it pass. You are responsive to your partner, like a dance partner. Maybe the role of a partner is unpleasant for men, well, then proudly stand at the wall ... without resources;

2) the ability to give the other side the freedom to make mistakes;

3) the ability to calculate the psychotype of the opponent;

4) the ability to catch "your" wave in negotiations and sail on it, like on a board. The steeper the wave, the more interesting it is to slide along it.

You have probably already understood the basic rules for conducting such negotiations:

We forget about pride, which is not at all in the macho tradition. We are interested in the result, not "to show ourselves";

We are not in a hurry, we are waiting for a wave;

We listen more, rather than speak, but stimulate and support the conversation;

We enter the desired image. Well, for example: picture No. 1. An investor is sitting in a movie, resting, and here we are. We come up, pull the hand and whisper: "Let's get out of here, I'll show you this, a hundred times more interesting!" - we erase, it is no good. Picture number 2: sit down next to us, watch a movie, make a couple of comments, the neighbor nods in agreement. After the session, we talk, discuss the film, take an arm, go out, and he does not notice how he is where we need to. The key points are to “sit down next to” and “take the arm,” not pull on it. Good.

Aikido techniques

Mirroring

Everyone now knows the vulgar mirroring tricks and uses them very funny. Recently, talking with a young man who wanted something from me, I noticed that he does not sit still, but turns all the time. And suddenly I realized! It’s me spinning, and he repeats everything after me. I decided that by his first profession he is a psychologist. And so it turned out.

I am not a psychologist, therefore, realizing the importance of the mirroring method, that is, the reflection of different psychological types, I developed my own approach.

If we generalize the types of a huge number of people I have met in my life, then we can conditionally distinguish five main ones.

1. Bonvivant, or Epicurean, or hedonist.

Yes ... All words are foreign. Simply put, he loves to live well, indulging his weaknesses: to eat, drink, women, etc. A classic example: Boris Nemtsov.

2. Conventional officials are closed people, thinking hierarchically, dry, speaking in short cloth phrases. There is no need for examples: they are everywhere and everywhere, and not only in DEZs or ministries, but also in business - most often small princes.

3. Modern technocrats: a lot of foreign business vocabulary, similar to the latest smartphones (Dmitry Medvedev, Sergey Kirienko, Anatoly Chubais).

4. Creators, people obsessed with an idea, endowed with imagination, emotional (Evgeny Chichvarkin).

5. Players: change roles, combine several psychotypes (Vladimir Putin).

Who am I? I think a player who grew out of a creator. I wanted, of course, to remain a creator, but political life forced me to.

So, there are psychotypes. You can name others - it doesn't matter, just to guess the person. And how to “count” the psychotype if there is no time for preparation? You can try to do this by evaluating the other person's manner of dressing. Bon vivant most often looks slightly sloppy, even if expensive. There is some kind of awkwardness in him: either the tie is knotted to one side, or the suit does not fit, even though it is from Armani, etc.

The official is dressed strictly conservatively, no way.

The creator most often reaches for bohemian details - these are scarves, knitwear, unexpected colors.

The Technocrat is a 100% yuppie style: expensive, energetic, fashionable and standard to the toes, just like a business ad.

Why all this hassle? Yes, then, that, having counted a person, it is easier to dispose him to yourself, reflecting, as in a mirror, and thus giving a sign: "I am mine."

In Russia, this technology is doomed to success, since the division into “friends and foes” here plays a decisive role in the search for a partner, more important than professionalism. It's a shame, of course. But what to do, you still have to work. How to work? Mirror!

It is imperative to talk with an epicure about what he loves. If a person loves to eat and drink, then it is better to negotiate in a good restaurant and take a lively part in the discussion of food and wine.

Talk with an official about business, and in his strange language, and immediately emphasize the benefits of your idea not for humanity, but for him personally.

It is easy to ignite the Creator, aiming at the scale of humanity. I remember young guys told me that they wanted to create a private institute for training modern programmers, so I went to Putin with their papers, just like that, for free. I liked the idea very much.

With a technocrat, you can start a conversation right away with the essence of the matter: start-up price, profit, cost, etc.

With the player ... You got it. You were unlucky. It can be replayed only one step ahead of the role reversal.

It is very important to have the ability to have oneself in negotiations with foreigners.

The French love France and their cuisine. If you don't talk to a Frenchman about his culture, it would be a mistake. And if you suggest canceling lunch at 12.30 - a disaster. You need to dress tastefully, not cheap, but not too expensive and flashy. The French love details.

Italians, on the other hand, respect peacocks and peacocks. Be fashionable, bright, imposing, joke, laugh - then you are yours.

Americans are technocrats. The essence of the matter must be stated quickly, accurately, the timing of making a profit, and the size of the market and the management model.

The Chinese are mercantile. Where money is, there is happiness.

The Japanese are aliens. Smiles, long negotiations, vague goals. If you press on them directly and frankly, nothing will come of it. The Japanese respect you when you express something that can be expressed in two words for half an hour, “burying” meanings in complex hints. Ltd! They start to appreciate you. The main thing is not to be sincere and ingenuous. The Japanese will regard you as an individual closer to fauna than to human civilization.

Choosing a place for negotiations

Now everyone knows about the place. Recently, a friend of mine said in dismay: “That's it! The deal will not take place! " "Why? I asked in surprise. "We have developed a scheme that is quite successful." “Nothing will come of it! I'm going to their territory! "

What nonsense! We learned from trainings or we play conspiracies. Everybody imagines video filming, dummy waiters, eavesdropping, etc. Calmly. Forget Hollywood, this is not at all in our tradition and not on our scale. Of course, it is preferable to meet on neutral territory or at home. But even in this case, you can easily lose. A true fighter wins on someone else's court. So spit it. But if you accept it at your place, then do not strain people, do not plant them in such a way that a barrel blows in their backs or their eyes are blinded. In aikido, partners need to relax, and the degree of trust increases from the very first steps. Therefore, there is no need to pretend to be a king-priest, it is better to invite guests to take seats at their request.

Time wasting method

There is no need to rush. I know from myself. So you want to move on to the argument with an argument, show your knowledge of the issue, achieve a result. And you need to pull the rubber, but do it lively and with interest. First, ask questions that will lead to some hobbies, find a common point, and sympathy will start. Once the collaboration took place only because both businessmen, as it turned out, were interested in studying the family genealogical tree. And if in the beginning there were rapping and show-off from the stronger side, then when a common interest was revealed, the intonation became completely different - human, and the conversation flowed ...

If you are faced with a choice, do not rush to say yes or no. The optimal answer is “Good idea” (sat down next to me), “We need to think about it” (let's go for a walk ...). Once I was offered unbearable conditions for cooperation in the implementation of my film project. I agreed with the producer, announced that I needed to think, and started asking all sorts of different questions. Already at the end of the conversation, the producer himself refused these Conditions.

Ask questions and listen with sympathy. Vladimir Putin, when he first became president and therefore was not very confident in himself, in order to win over a seasoned political interlocutor, asked the necessary questions and listened, pretending to even take notes. The heavyweight was overjoyed!

The question is: why is this toffee? Then you need to relax, get used to, count the psychotype and wait for the conversation to turn in your direction. Like the stock market. You are weaker, which means you are more attentive and patient.

But what if you were pushed against the wall: yes or no, here and now or never? In this case, prepare an external call like "mother-in-law is crazy" (just kidding) and get off. Never make a decision under pressure. Take a break. Copy the behavior of a man whose wife or lover wants to "finally sort out the relationship." What is he doing? That's right: it dissolves in the manner of Bulgakov's evil spirits - it seems like he was just here, and he is no longer there ...

Red Elephant Method

1. Give the other side what it wants, and mask your interests in small but key details. The history of capitalism in Russia is actually only one generation old, so most successful businessmen are sick with a complex of usefulness. This means that they do not hear anyone and bend their own line. For example, many owners want to fully manage the entire project, including the creative. If they agree to a partnership in someone else's project with someone who just does not have the required amount of investment, then they take everything. And you have experience, connections, creativity and responsibility. There is a conflict of interest.

Give him the function of a manager. He still will not cope and will turn to you, and you will receive funding. Do you want checkers or go, in fact ?! Take your time, go step by step! Life will put everything in its place. Start with one challenge, not all at the same time. The greedy loses the last!

2. If the draft agreement is being prepared by your side, then clearly describe what you are ready to concede in whole or in part. And fight for these positions for a long time and painfully, exhausting the enemy. And the most important thing for you, on the contrary, leave the conversation at the end and casually persuade your opponent to agree, since you have already “given away” a lot, as they say. We were in the minority in parliament. To change the same draft tax code, our deputies threw millions of amendments to the ruling party, knowing that the majority would be rejected. After three to five hours of discussion, we stuffed something "passing". From fatigue, everyone voted for, and it was there that the main thing for us was contained.

By the way, if the project is being prepared by the other side, do not agree to discuss it "from sight". Get it in advance, put a lawyer in prison and ... work on the amendments started. Of course, in this case, you need to take a lawyer with you to negotiations, since the degree of boring will be so high that you will break down. But you can't break. The lawyer hums bored, and at the end of each amendment you support him with the power of your charisma. If it's not there, just nod your head. Your task is to emotionally incline in your direction.

red elephants are interests,

which you are ready to give up,

but nobody knows about it.

That is why they are red, that they occupy

a lot of space, and the most honorable.

Important little things

In complex negotiations, do not neglect the details. It is impossible to calculate in advance what will "shoot". All types of weapons must be ready.

1. Pay attention to your style: what if it is uncomfortable for the interlocutor? In this case, you need to find a compromise between yours and his personality. Get the right glasses. Kind and not obscured. You will portray a rock star, if you like, in a nightclub.

2. Do not sit as if an arshin has been swallowed, it strains both you and your opponent. It is better to sit comfortably, not to fall apart and lean forward slightly. You don’t have to stare into the eyes for a long time, you’re not challenging them to a fight. But if you look sideways all the time or your eyes are running around, you will definitely be mistaken for a swindler.

The main thing, as a model:

harmoniously for yourself and others

put yourself in space.

By the way, my friend, a fashion photographer, noticed that not all models even own this art, and even businessmen are not good at all. And in vain - they lose a huge resource of influence on the interlocutor.

3. Once your hands are free, gesture occasionally. Do not chew on the caps, do not knock with a lighter, do not draw people. This betrays your excitement. Imagine that you are a kind Buddha and communicate.

4. Sex forever! I mean the exchange of energy between the sexes. Don't forget about it. No wonder in the famous film "Pretty Woman" with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, the latter played the role of an escort in business negotiations. There is no need to copy. There is a difference between the truth of cinema and the truth of life. But ... I had a case. In the US Congress, I spoke with a woman MP from some distant state like Oklahoma or Arizona. It was impossible to "count" her, or rather, on the contrary, too easy. A simple American village woman, ready to discuss the topic “Let's get the guys done!”, But not the disarmament agenda between the United States and Russia. I was completely at a loss, but she was accompanied by two assistants, as if they had descended from the pages of GQ magazine or Men’s Health. Under one meter ninety, oblique fathoms in the shoulders, ideal suits like from Armani, everyone has an earring in their ear. Black is a specialist in domestic politics, white is a specialist in foreign policy. I was stunned. According to Zverev, the star was shocked. I so wanted to talk to them! And we talked. Both turned out to be brilliant specialists. During our intelligent conversation, the deputy smiled happily and nodded her head. We parted, happy with each other. Since then, I have not left a disgusting feeling of melancholy at the sight of our worn-out political functionaries. I would have such assistants, I would have turned mountains and turned rivers! Well, okay, I was dreaming ...

5. As for the voice, we have already agreed: the tone is lower, calm. Change intonation, keep pause, do not mumble monotonously. It all depends on who you are mirroring, though. In the case of an "official", being boring is just the opposite, the path to success.

Hitting

Not all is grace. During negotiations, your opponent can rudely run over you for two reasons: either with the aim of provocation, to make you lose your balance, or due to incontinence of nature. Hold on. Turn a little to the side, "pass" this hurricane by like a draft, count to five and answer calmly. For example: “You may be right, but let's calm down. We must work together. " Or, smiling, mirror like a fool himself and turn everything into a joke, copying the aggressive intonation of the interlocutor. Patience! You will win back when you are in your stream. If anger has gone on his part, this is good, this is already the first mistake. The main thing is to wait until a meaningful mistake is made, and to enter into your own active game in time.

It also happens that no matter how hard you try to weave a web, you feel that everything is useless. Then get ready and, realizing that you are ready to leave, take the risk - strike in the jaw. Tough and uncompromising. Lean forward more, reducing the space, intently, without looking up, look in the eyes and "kill".

TO aikido, this technique has nothing to do with it. Remember:

"Blow to the jaw" - an extreme measure,

when there is nothing left to lose.

The main thing is not a blow, but a precisely captured moment

hopelessness of the situation.

And the last one: all negotiations cannot be won. Not scary. Analyze mistakes - your own, not your opponent's - and forward again!

Chapter 4
TEAM
BUILDING
DAO

Office syndrome

After graduating from the institute and graduate school, my office syndrome began to develop sharply. It all started small. At the Research Institute of the State Planning Committee, sitting at the table so that my back had to rest against the chair of my department colleague, I looked enviously at the separate office of the chief. At the Department of Political Economy of the university, having started my teaching career from the lowest level of an assistant, I fought for a long time at a separate table, but to no avail. Having already become an assistant professor, I still shared it with a colleague. And even in business, on the stock exchange with its huge areas, I did not get a separate office. Finally, a light dawned in the window of the State Duma, but ... even here the expectations were in vain. I shared an office of 12 m2 with my team of assistants. But she did not despair and worked hard. And my patience was rewarded. After becoming a member of the federal government, I moved into a large office with a reception area. Then, returning to parliament and becoming a vice speaker, she settled in an even more pretentious office, in which every morning she gladly stroked a bunch of special communication phones that were on a separate table. During periods when I was out of power, like a chick from a nest, my husband urgently organized for me a private office with an office. He understood that the chick would die without an office, an urgent need to equip a new nest ...

This also happened in 2004 after the presidential campaign. For a year I worked in a private office, rented with great difficulty. All tenants were shaking, thinking that after Khakamada the inspection authorities would come. As always, the bravest woman turned out to be, by the way, she was a doctor in the past. Thanks to her, I found refuge, calmed down, but not for long. In 2005, the syndrome disappeared. Abruptly and unexpectedly. I suddenly realized that I no longer want an office. I don't want to go there, waste time and money. I liked the idea of working at home, in my office. And the meetings? They can always be assigned at the nearest cafe. And the assistants? So it is even better for them to sit at home at the computer, combining work for me with other earnings or study.

Within a week I closed my office, bought an office mobile phone and gave it to the secretary. I transferred everyone to a free schedule and ... the next day I woke up with a feeling of absolute freedom and an unusual feeling of "no one needs anyone." The office syndrome passed, but it was replaced by a slight emptiness. The stereotype of the organization of time and space was broken, but no replacement appeared. In some nailed state, I started working at home. I met uncertainly in a cafe, looking around, composing something about repairs in the office ... But after six months, the "withdrawal" was over, and I felt good. There came a feeling of the mistress of the situation, firmly settled in her nest of life. Everything! Freelance finally defeated office addiction. Now I watch with pleasure how my assistant Irina, walking with me along Bolshaya Dmitrovka, answers on her mobile phone: “Ale! Irina Khakamada's office, hello. "

What are the benefits of becoming a freelancer?

Reduced the costs of maintaining its activities (writing books, participating in television and radio programs, conducting master classes throughout the country and the CIS, lecturing at universities);

I began to save time on moving around the city, freeing up additional hours for the child, hobbies and sports;

Has found new opportunities for self-expression in creativity, using the advantages of the Internet. I "woke up" on LiveJournal, on YouTube, in blogs and magazine columns.

Office in or office off?

Free lance is freelance. Accordingly, a free lancer is a freelancer - a freelance worker. If you dig even deeper, then free lance is a "free spear", that is, a free warrior or a free hunter. I especially like the latter definition. I went hunting in the Big City. What I caught is yours. You know the treasured places, paths, and sometimes you just accidentally attack the game. The main thing is to shoot accurately, feel the beast and not get lost. If you don’t want to, you don’t go hunting. You lie at home, suck your paw. The mood is. Or they are unlucky, nothing is caught ... Everything happens. But all the days are different, varied and therefore interesting. Ouch! Skidded again ... So, there are two forms of off-site work.

1. Under an employment contract with a company. Most often, the activity is associated with the use of a computer. This is how editors, web designers, translators, accountants work.

2. Absolutely free professionals working for a fee (people of creative professions, business consultants, coaches, psychologists, trainers, massage therapists at home, and so on).

A friend of mine, a psychologist, worked at a private institute for the provision of psychological assistance. Received decent money for a full time. Then she quit her job and began to consult individually. The income is the same, but there is more free time. Finally, she took up closely the child, before he entered the university.

In any case, the good thing about both forms is that you get paid for the result, and not for the time spent in front of the bosses. On the other hand, there is no working team, corporate holidays and birthdays, field trainings, February 23 and March 8. If you are unbearable without these small "corporate" joys, then it is better to choose office in.

In general, having faced the choice of "in" or "off", first of all you should listen to yourself in order to understand how close you are to the advantages of free flight and whether you are ready to accept its disadvantages. I have already described the pros. This:

free schedule;

nobody teaches anything;

independence in making all decisions.

Now the cons:

there are no vacations, canteens, hospitals, sanatoriums, kindergartens and other benefits of corporate social protection;

no office clothes;

If all this does not bother you, then the next stage: you need to figure out how your psychological personality type corresponds to such work. Answer a few questions.

A) Are you ready for self-discipline? If already in the morning you are stuck

either in LJ, or in bed, then soon everything will go wrong and for sure

have to suck a paw.

B) Are you ready to take personal responsibility for the result or lack thereof? This responsibility will be very concretely expressed in terms of your income. That is, are you ready to become the leader of your life?

Q) Are you ready for the fact that it will be thick or empty?

D) Are you confident in your professionalism enough to sell it on the labor market on your own?

E) Do you really know how to sell your professionalism?

After leaving politics, I spent six months trying to answer these questions, especially the last two, since I was fine with the first three. I thought and wrote the novel “Love is out of the game” ... When I wrote it, I finally answered “yes” and developed three models for organizing my work.

1. I am a carrier of the profession and at the same time a base office: I myself deal with advertising, conclude contracts, do bookkeeping, negotiations, organize meetings. It sounds fantastic, but this is how many of my creative friends work.

2. I am a carrier of a creative product and I hire a team for outsourcing: an accountant, a PR specialist, an agent, and so on.

3. The mixed model is perhaps the most convenient for me. I do everything that interests me from the first model myself, and I hire people based on the principle of minimizing costs. As a result, I needed ... two people.

I am my own PR man and agent. But others support and process received orders. And so it all worked out. Not immediately, gradually, but I was in no hurry.

Since 2006, a new life has begun: a strange alternation of complete silence and violent activity. Sometimes it is thick, and sometimes it is really empty. But the thrill for me is that I now really write my melody playing both black and white keys. Like this.

And finally, about what helped me.

Patience and retention of energy on the way to a cherished dream. Do not fade away quickly, but bring everything to the result, even if expressed in a different form.

Possession of an exceptional professional resource, but at the same time a flexible attitude towards the customer - towards his requests for content and price.

The art of negotiating.

So, if you're tired of everything - go ahead! And if not, if you want to be a member of a corporation that is pleasant in all respects?

A flock or a white crow?

In one of the issues of the magazine Esquire authors, scientists and creative people discussed the topic "What will change everything." Artist Dmitry Gutov put forward an excellent idea, in my opinion. The course of his reasoning was approximately as follows: 90% of activities are absolutely meaningless, and 50% of them are actively harmful. Well, for example, horror films and other commercial husks on television. Nobody wants so many books, movies, jam or toothpaste. The most valuable thing is free time. Everything will change when all people, and not just artists, reach the point and, throwing away the unnecessary, free up time to manage it on their own. It will change everything.

This idea seemed wonderful to me, although I understand that its bearer is a person of a creative profession, a deep individualist. We argue further.

Many years ago, as a politician, I had a breakfast with Hillary Clinton. The First Lady of America, having arrived in Russia, invited women involved in various social programs to attend. Everyone got ready to discuss gender issues, but Hillary surprised the guests. The tone of the conversation was set by the following question: how to combine the individualism of the Western world, further enhanced by the Internet, and the collectivism of Eastern civilizations, characteristic, for example, of China or the Soviet Union? Indeed, each model of social behavior has its own pros and cons, and harmony would help to avoid many social conflicts.

Indeed, who is, in essence, modern homo sapiens? Is it a public person (according to Karl Marx) or an individual person (according to Sartre and other existentialists)? Or something else? (Chaos theory.) No wonder, according to Nezavisimaya Gazeta, the image of an individualist who conquers the system is embodied as a powerful myth in Hollywood. Individualism is elevated to the level of a mass cult in order to strike a balance in relation to the order of society deftly formed by the elite. Simply put:

how to love your neighbor at a distance;

how to create a harmonious team?

How to fit into the corporate environment as an outsider

Corporations swallow and digest a huge amount of wage labor, including highly skilled labor.

Some workers, having gone through a career meat grinder, move to the heights of top management, while others remain a standard semi-finished product for life. By the way, the latter are the majority. Corporations are akin to authoritarian regimes. They:

rely on the masses, not on the individual;

develop standard thinking;

strive for stability and predictability of personnel.

A corporation, like a big family, fosters the spirit of paternalism and requires the commitment of all efforts, including personal and emotional ones. For this, the employee receives protection and the infrastructure of life. If you want to be free and keep private space, then such a desire is contrary to corporate culture.

By the way, many experts believe that there is no obvious contradiction between collectivism and individualism. Social networks on the Internet demonstrate solidarity, that is, “collectivism from below,” very powerfully, defending, for example, the YUKOS lawyer Bakhmina or fighting the traffic police and flashing lights.

But what if you are embedded in a model of “collectivism from above”, with its characteristic hierarchy of bosses and the despotism of standard role attitudes? Let's try to figure it out. For example, I am a deep individualist, but as a minister I worked for a government corporation. And, having carefully studied her manners and customs, she tried not to swim against the stream in the process of realizing her ideas. It worked. The main thing:

not giving up ideas, but obeying the unwritten rules.

Arina Edemska me: Irina, you have been conducting your master classes "Aikido of Business Negotiations" for several years now. Why did you compare the process of holding meetings with aikido?

Irina Khakamada: Aikido is a Japanese martial art built on fusing with the opponent's attack and redirecting the attacker's energy. My workshop is based on a model where you need to win the battle when signing a contract or solving other business problems, but you are in a weaker position.

Arina: At trainings you talk about how to avoid manipulation. In your opinion, the negotiations can take place without this?

Irina: Of course they can. Most often, negotiations take place just without such components: this happens when the partners are equal - wise or naive.

Arina: How can manipulation and trickery be beneficial?

Irina: These techniques can be beneficial if your position is weaker, while your opponent, knowing this position, is not going to make concessions to you. Then some tricks are needed.

Arina: How can you prepare for using gimmicks?

Irina: If, for example, we are talking about signing a contract, then you need to ask in advance for a document for analysis and not sign anything on the go. When analyzing the contract, you need to make a list of comments, and those additional amendments to the contract that are important to you should go last and be formulated unremarkably. Conversely, those points on which you are ready to concede should be in the forefront and sound very harsh and bright. This is done with one purpose: to direct the entire discussion to the first amendments, then give in to them and then, when everyone is tired, go to this "little thing" and sign it, although in fact it is she who is the main one. This is the skill that a lawyer needs.

Arina: How important is it to have a leader in your team to succeed? Is charisma important?

Irina: No, no charisma or leadership is needed for successful negotiation. You just need to be able to negotiate professionally: very few people in Russia know how to do this, so it is better to hire specialists if the negotiations are complicated.

RUSSIAN CHIPS AND BASIC ERRORS

Arina: In your opinion, does the gender of the participants influence the negotiation process?

Irina: Of course, there are some specifics here. The best way to be successful is by engaging heterosexual negotiators.

Arina: And what is it connected with?

Irina: With the fact that the human factor in this case plays a large - and most importantly - a positive role. If a man and a woman are talking, and both are able to evoke sympathy with their image and behavior, then the X-factor is added to their toolkit, which often helps in negotiations.

Arina: It is well known that the principles of doing business in the States and Europe, in the West and in the East are viewed differently. Are there any universal rules of behavior, or do you need to adapt to a certain model every time?

Irina: These types are really very specific, and you need to take this into account. Not to adjust, namely to take into account - “adjust” is generally a bad word, it is too noticeable, so you need to take into account and play a card of national character. There are, of course, universal rules. The versatility lies in the fact that you must be able to be charming, prepare very well and know who you are dealing with, be able to use those strings in the personality of people to which they will definitely respond. In this regard, of course, you need to be a little pedantic: you need to study your opponent, not to approach negotiations lightly and be a psychologist, at least at an amateur level. The second universal rule is, of course, professionalism. If you are not ready to negotiate, if you do not know anything about your own subject, but think that you will take your opponent with charisma and pressure, then you are making a mistake.

Arina: Are there any Russian "chips" in the negotiation?

Irina: The Russian "trick" is that the subjective, mood factor works stronger than the objective parameters of a contract or transaction. The Russian "trick" is that if you present your project in a technological, clear, American way, then a Russian businessman will decide that you are "selling him some bullshit" and do it actively. Therefore, if you are negotiating with a Russian businessman, then it is better to use not an active presentation, but such careless indifference, light throwing of information, with a hint that you, in principle, do not care, because there is already a queue behind you. This is the approach that works best in Russia.

Arina: What are the most common mistakes negotiators make?

Irina: The main mistake is the inability to listen: often people talk more than they listen. Second, people do not know how to ask questions: not only professional, but also personal, concerning, for example, hobbies. Personal questions should not be underestimated: they "untwist" a person, allow him to relax. The Russians do not know how to do this at all, they are fixated on themselves. The third classic mistake is the desire to sell one's own and the lack of desire to prepare a "menu" - offers that are primarily of interest to the buyer. We must not move our own, but take into account, first of all, what the buyer wants. For example, you are trying to sell some real estate and tell your interlocutor that there is a beautiful sea view, a villa on the coast, cypresses, waves are noisy, and so on, and therefore all this costs a lot of money. But you have not studied the client and do not know that, for example, he has hypertension and he cannot live in conditions where pressure is constantly changing. At sea, the climate changes all the time, but the client needs a stable climate, and in general, he is recommended to have an average altitude of mountain air. You don’t give a damn about that: you push and push your own, talk about your “desires” and don’t think about your opponent’s “desires”, as a result, you do not succeed.

M&A: FROM NEGOTIATION TO ACTION

Arina: While doing consulting, you have probably faced the issues of mergers and acquisitions. How is it necessary to build a line of behavior for top managers of companies: both absorbing and being absorbed?

Irina AZ: I only had one case when I advised on a takeover transaction. One company tried to "eat" another that resisted. As a result, the takeover company acted more cunningly. She entered into a contract for the performance of work with the company that she wanted to "eat", and during the work she began to outbid all key employees, that is, a takeover was obtained on the principle of "do not wash, do it by rolling." Then I advised the owner of the acquired company to stop, break the contract and start selling themselves on the market. That is why personal counseling is important: I felt that the person was tired of this business, which was being taken away from him, he became indifferent to it. At the same time, he did not want to be swallowed up the way they swallowed him up, he wanted to get other money. But after my advice to start selling yourself on your own, the person got scared and said that the business was not for sale. And with such a mood, you definitely won't sell anything: everything is for sale, but you have to learn how to sell it. And if you don't know how, then hire a consultant.

Arina: When it comes to a takeover rather than a friendly merger, what nuances are there to be wary of?

Irina: It is necessary to have a very professional lawyer and a person who knows the financial schemes in which a takeover can occur with greater benefit for both parties. There are not many such specialists, but they find different options. Most often, if a person is negotiating himself, then his scheme is simple: “I was eaten, I take some money for this, or I don’t take anything at all, because I’m all in debt, and when absorbed, my debts are paid off”. And there are complex financial instruments that few people in Russia own. This is a combination of a person who knows how to create special financial schemes, legal, but very creative, with a lawyer who knows how to draw up all this, will allow negotiations to be carried out more professionally.

Arina: How to correctly position yourself as a top manager of the absorbing company, interacting with the absorbed team?

Irina: With a company that he absorbed and that hates him ... In such situations, it is necessary to be a good psychologist. Try to create a friendly atmosphere. To do this, you can go to a restaurant and have a drink a couple of times at the expense of the manager, that's all. Sometimes even such things help to relax people, to have a heart-to-heart talk - it works for Russian people.

GOLDEN RULES OF THE NEGOTIATOR

Arina: What are the three basic commandments of an experienced negotiator?

Irina: The first is to prepare. To know everything about the company, about people, down to their hobbies, marital status, where they were born: to know everything about those with whom you are negotiating, about their character, how successful their business is, how it was created ... We need to get all the information out. Second, an experienced negotiator is a mini-psychologist. He does not show it, but he possesses these qualities, that is, he “reads” people and very skillfully plays on their motivations, “mirrors” these people, and does not press himself and his charisma. And the third is to be charming, to be able to create the right image: a professional and a positive, pleasant person in one person is exactly the interlocutor who arouses sympathy and has the greatest chances for successful negotiations.

Arina: Is it possible to learn to be a successful businessman, politician, or is it given at birth?

Irina: Most often, this is exactly what they learn. But in order to achieve success in such a field, consciousness must be open. That is, a person should really study, and not think about his offended “I” from morning till night, as is often the case. When a person learns, he must perceive information. In my master classes, I noticed that in the audience, at best, three or four people out of twenty perceive information. Everyone else listens, and then, judging by the questions they ask, it becomes clear that they did not hear anything. The head is closed. With a closed head, when a person is all in himself, he cannot learn anything, much less negotiate. If he has an open mind, that is, he hears and understands: “Yeah, here I’m wrong, here I’m fixated, but here we need not charisma, but mirroring of the interlocutor, I need to learn to be more attentive to people. Maybe I really should read Dostoevsky or Tolstoy, all psychotypes are described there ... ”With this attitude, he will definitely learn. There was a time when I did not know how to negotiate at all: I either exploded in five minutes, or trembled with fear and simply remained silent, not reacting to anything. However, I was ready to learn, and I learned, because my consciousness was open for this.

What's on the topic?

"Success in the big city"

About what?

A book for ambitious readers who dream of becoming "number one" in anything.

How to become effective while remaining free, achieve career success, do what you love in a big city and feel comfortable at the same time? many practical recommendations gleaned from the personal experience of Irina Khakamada herself.