It is important to understand that depression or, more correctly, depressive disorder is a dangerous disease requiring the intervention of a professional physician. Depression may be provoked by different factors, some of which relate to physiology, and some to psychology. Here are the 5 most dangerous habits that can lead to depression.
Lack of exercise
Physical exertion has a beneficial effect on human health, including mental. Their absence can lead to depression. People staying all day at home become lazy and / or begin to eat too much. This reduces self-esteem. In addition, when you come across some difficulty in life, the idea of \u200b\u200bdoing sports will come to your head last.
The lack of sports or other adequate physical activity reduces the production of "hormones of joy" - dopamine and serotonin. Accordingly, when you find yourself face to face with a sad event, the likelihood of depression will be much higher for you. On the contrary, 40 minutes of exercises per day increase the content of these hormones in the blood to the level above average.
Incorrect nutrition
Healthy food is important not only for the body, but also for mind. Polisaturated omega-3 fats are important for the proper functioning of the brain. These fats can not be created by the body independently, so you need to make sure that they fall into it with food, otherwise the risk of depression increases.
Most of all omega-3 fats in wild animals, fish and seafood. In the extreme case, you can use food additives - it is better than nothing. They can also help keep the brain in tone.
Lack of sleep and stress
If you constantly do not give yourself a sleep, you yourself drive yourself into depression. Doctors recommend sleeping at least 7-8 hours a day. To make it easy to fall asleep, never go to bed with a tablet or laptop in your hands.
Non-shows makes a person more nervous and more prone to paranoid moods. All this becomes the basis for depression. In addition, people who sleep a little, work worse, and it provokes conflicts with the bosses and new stress. Appreciate the dream and it will help you avoid depression.
Loneliness
Artificial isolation alone is one of the most faithful ways to depression. Correcting from family and friends you are preparing the soil for almost any mental illness. Scientists have proven that people who have a more developed and extensive network of contacts are less prone to depression.
Heavy thought
Heavy thoughts are also among the main reasons for depression. Permanent reflections on failures, failures or losses are dangerous. In this world there are things that are limited to us, and therefore it is best not to think about them. Reflections on them can lead not only to depression, but also to madness.
You can prove your problems out loud with close people (remember paragraph 4). If you talk not with anyone, write down problems on a piece of paper and throw away or burn it - this symbolic gesture helps to feel inner freedom. 
On the eve of the departure of the Molo-Delican national team of Ukraine to Cherkasy to the detachment of the European Championship (U-21) against the Sno-Snove Snacks from Iceland, the Blue-Yellow Nickname answered questions from the Correspondent of the newspaper Team.
— Sergei Ivanovich, on the nearest match against Iceland, the Ukrainian team will be released with the motto "to retreat nowhere"?
- For us, the ka honor of the game is very important, but we do not forget it and about a positive result, so we will do everything that these two components would have together.
- Many new-old players are caused to fights against Iceland and France. Is it orgvoda after defeat from Macedonia?
- If you remember the work of our coaching staff, then practically there are changes at every stage of training. This means that we give a chance to each of the football players of the progress of themselves. Now young people are trusted in clubs, so she has all the prerequisites of RA-Ste, speaking in the national team.
— From the beginners caused Shakhtar striker Boryachuk...
- Andrei is now a lot in the composition of the youth team of miners, so why not watch it in the case and in the T-shirt of the national team.
— Is there a loss?
- injured Burda. And after consulting doctors re-sewed, it is better to be treated in the club. There are damage to Migunov and Hoblenko, but they soon have to be in the ranks.
- Before the match with Mac Dony, you said that there was not enough team in the team. How will you solve this problem now?
- Much depends on the Intel-Lects of football players, so communicating with the guys individually and during the training process, we try to convey to them all the subtleties that our coaching headquarters want to see, and also try to make conclusions after matches with Macedonia And Dania.
— Iceland— leader on the group. Is it unexpected?
- For many fans, it is possible. But I want to say that in this country for 20 years the state program has been operating, according to which many football playpen has been built, there is a Spanish and goal-landscale training systems for young players. And the result of all this quality work is the national team of Islan-Diya reached the Euro-Py Championship, and speaking in a group with such monsters as Holland, Czech Republic and Turkey.
The youth team of the past convocation reached the playoff matches of the European Championship. Yes, and the young-six-year-old team (players of 1995), which now represents the interests of "youths", in 2012 participated in the final part of the euro. So we are waiting for an interesting and complex fight.
- Nevertheless, the style of the game of Icelanders, whom they are called "our guys", cool physical readiness and struggle on each field of fields?
- They use their strengths. These are power football, many long re-daches, also have elements of the ball control. And also need to be noted their game discipline.
— In matches with Iceland and France, how many recruit points will satisfy you?
- Maximum amount. In general, we have a flat group, and I am confident, each of the co-dranks will lose glasses. Did anyone be prescribed to lay down that the same Icelanders stand out at home in the game with se-faithful Ireland? Therefore, to speak in advance, who is closer to the exit to the euro, early. On-Piece guys it is very important to understand that everything depends only on us.
— All homemade matches "Molodechka" will spend in Chern Cassa. Why?
- The Ukrainian team is the team number one in the country, and naturally, that we would like to play in any region, where there would be a full stadium. In the catch for this, all conditions have been created for this. Simply in some other cities there are no such conditions. And, above all, it concerns the infrastructure of accepting arenas. Although I repeat, we are ready to play everywhere. Did the three-buns be empty in exactly, Khmelnitsky or Krivoy RO-GE? But not everything depends on our football federation ...
Sergey Demyanchuk
Online interview with the President of the Hospital House "Superjob" Alexei Nikolayevich Zakharov.
"Hello! The motto of your site: "The work should delight!" How much can you attribute to your activities and what makes you the maximum pleasure in your work? Thank you!"
- I can fully attribute this motto to my activities. My work brings me great joy and pleasure!
"If you, God forbid, I had to look for a job, how would you do it?"
- Do not believe: I would post a resume on Superjob! I am sure that I would have found a job very quickly.
"Good day! You do good and necessary, thank you very much! How did you have an idea of \u200b\u200bcreating "Superjob"? What pushed? Please tell me how it all starts. "
- The history of the creation of the Superjob portal is repeatedly described. You can read it, for example, in the "Keeper's Keeper" material, which was printed in the newspaper Vedomosti on October 30, 2006.
"Hello, Alexey Nikolaevich, tell me, please, how much time passes from the moment of registration of the applicant to the moment when he finally finds a job?"
- The higher the level of applicant claims, the longer the search. The higher the position on which you expect, as a rule, more time will take the work of job search. The director of the enterprise, who has a thousand people in submission, can seek the work of six months - a year, and this is quite normal. A middle-level specialist is usually looking for a job from a week to month, as a last resort - two. If you are a qualified specialist, and the work search process has stretched more than three months, it means that something is wrong ... pickyly re-re-read your resume, check the correctness of its location in the specialties directory sections on our website, please contact SuperJob support.
"How to look for a job if there is no experience? I just graduated from the university and faced the fact that in all vacancies there is a requirement for experience. And where to take it, if without him do not take a job? "
- Almost all major companies today with great pleasure take people without experience - students and newly minted specialists - for internships with further employment. Therefore, if you are looking for a job for the first time, pay attention primarily to vacancies of large well-known companies - in them, as a rule, work with young people is very well delivered. Perhaps the salary in secondary or small companies will seem more attractive to you, but business processes in small companies are built, as a rule, so that the teaching of young people there is no one and once - from here and tilting experience in their vacancies.
Without work experience, by the way, you will be taken with pleasure to state structures: there people are required almost always - to the initial position. Yes, there often pay a little, but it is possible to purchase during the year-two invaluable experience, which is very often even in a business environment can not be purchased. And with the experience of work in the state structures, you will be happy to take it in the private sector.
Also pay attention to the offers of production (first of all again of large) companies, and be prepared that the first 2-3 years, until you know how to pay you less than your homework who worked there from the second Course.
Keep in mind: if you find a job search for a 3rd course, then there will be no problems with employment to the 5th.
"What do you think is needed by a targeted employment program for people over 50 years old?"
- I think that such a program is not needed. We need a normal state policy in the field of personnel and migration of the population, we need real assistance to the state to those who decided to change the direction of activity. At the same time, not only 50-year-olds need in such activities. From almost two thousand issues received almost a thousand about such a content: "I am old and can not find a job. What to do?" But about five hundred such: "I am young and can't find a job. What to do?" So what is the problem? I believe that there is no such problem. Today there are no problems to get a job at any age - the whole question in the adequacy of the request! If it is difficult for you to find it, then it's most likely not at age.
How to look for a job in adulthood? How to look for work at a young age? First of all, come on SuperJob and carefully read all the materials and recommendations in the section "How to look for work" Most people who complain that no one invites them to interviews, they simply do not read our recommendations! To quickly and without problems today to find a job, you must first understand that the search for work is also a job! This is the work that you need to do carefully and scrupulously, methodically studying the rules of the game and the laws of the market. And the higher position you want to occupy, the better you need to understand this issue - in the issue of job search technology.
"What, in your opinion, the prospects for employment of a qualified specialist of pre-age age?"
- Prospects for employment of specialists of pre-pension, retirement and deep retirement age, if these are qualified specialists, the most irreparable, since the labor market is experiencing a clear deficit of qualified personnel. Our experience shows that regardless of age, a qualified specialist is easy to find a job. And if you are really such a specialist - no need to comprehensive and pay attention to what is written in vacancies, because Age there is often spelled quite conditionally. When it is refused because of age, it is more accurate called the age cause of refusal, very often some other is hidden behind it, an objective reason, just a candidate in the "near-olophenic" age is easiest to refuse, motivating the refusal of this. There is a big problem when a person did not become a professional to retirement age. But in this case, if there is a strength and desire to work, it is never too late to start from scratch and acquire a new or increase already existing qualifications.
"Do you check the companies that place vacancies on your site on the efficiency of doing business and the attitude to the employee?"
- We can not do this. We check the employers only for the compliance of their activities by the legislation of the Russian Federation. According to the rules of work with our service, employers are prohibited from posting information contrary to legislation, as well as post advertisements on vacancies and offer candidates from the Superjob site base work related to gambling business, occult and erotic services, earnings on the Internet, e-mail processing, conducting mass Electronic mailing and network marketing.
If you think that the company is in relation to you unethical, we advise you to go to the labor inspection and to court. In 95% of cases, the court solves labor disputes in favor of the employee.
"Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! I would like to know your opinion on the work of other Internet sites on the selection of personnel. What sites could you allocate and consider them worthy competitors? P.S.! "
- We do not have competitors: we consider all the colleagues, because together we solve an important social task. And say that Superjob will find you a better job than anyone will not become. We will be happy if you find work on another workshop - decent employment sites a lot.
Would not like to allocate anyone. We also sincerely believe that Superjob is much better than the rest.
"I am a candidate of science. When looking for work, is this plus or minus? "
- Yes, this is a plus. But if you want to work as a loader - minus.
"Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! What does your experience say: Are common and decent employers left in nature? "
- My experience says that most people are kind and good, including employers. But if you have not yet come across such, we have a huge number of wonderful customers - employers' companies. Maybe they are looking for you?
"I am looking for an answer to such a question. Why there is always such a pattern: the less interesting work, the more they pay for it, and on the contrary? "
- Not always happens. In your case, apparently, it falls about what you are doing, and at the same time your professionalism is growing.
"Alexey Nikolaevich! I had to get a job with a suitable job for me with the help of your site several times. Thanks for the support. Do you have any other sites? "
- Sites are. For example, www.obed.ru.
"What is the most difficult you experienced in your career life?"
- Hard to say. Around me there were always positively configured people, and all the development with God's help was given quite easily. Maybe there is still something to survive, but for now, I can say, sin complain.
"How do you feel about lonely mothers? Do you think you think well? "
- quite loyal. Single mothers are capable of working well, and very often their motivation is much higher than women who do not have children, or women raising children in a full family.
"Why in our country prefer to take men to senior positions?"
- I do not know. Director of the Personnel House "Superjob" Ms. Bondaurant Elena Igorevna - Lada, and I believe that we are very lucky that we have such director.
"What qualities should have a vacant position in your company?"
- It must be a positively configured person. Team player. A man loving people aimed at personal professional growth.
"How do you feel about the concept of" work on protection "and how to deal with this?"
- You do not need to fight it. Indeed, most of the employment and to this day it happens in acquaintance. But it makes no sense to fight this - when searching for work, all means are good and this is also. Use them and you.
"Is it worth calling the potential employer after sending a resume by fax or e-mail to make it possible to receive and consider?"
- worth it. The interest of the applicant in obtaining work often affects the choice of the employer. An employer will, with other things being equal, almost certainly preferred a candidate who expressed interest in working in this company.
"Please tell us about what you do, resting from such a useful, right and interesting business, like yours?"
- For me, the best holiday is a bath or fishing.
"Due to the increasingly growing popularity of the SUPERJOB website in virtual space, do not you consider the opening of the" ground "representation or network of personnel agencies under the Superjob brand? Can this happen? "
- Maybe. We consider ... And maybe not happen ...
"What do you need to make a young specialist to become a professional?"
- The most important thing is to be very much wanting to become.
"Dear Alexey Nikolayevich, do you think that visiting applicants seek big results in terms of professional and career growth than indigenous Muscovites, or vice versa? And what, in your opinion, is this due? "
- No, I do not think. Talented people are everywhere, and in Moscow they are born no less than in other Russian cities.
"Why are the results of wage managers for personnel managers on your site so far behind reality?"
- It is not true. Wage reviews on our site are 100% objective information that fully reflects those realities that exist today in the labor market.
"Good day! Is it possible on SuperJob to meet vacancies of civil service? "
- Is quite real. We have been more productive for a long time and productively with state structures, our regular customers are the Federal Tax Service, the Ministry of Economic Development and many other state organizations, enterprises and educational institutions. As of July 20, 2007, 768 vacancies of state organizations were posted on our website.
"Is it possible to find a top manager through sites? My experience shows that the owner even a small company is looking for a managerial on the recommendations of partners, acquaintances and colleagues. How to look for a job with a top that does not have the "necessary" connections or to use the unwilling way? "
- There is no "tops" who do not have connections and problems with finding work. If there are problems - you need to realize that you just have a very good high-class specialist is also very prestigious and honorable, imagine ambitions and carefully look for a job that is suitable for you.
"Is it worth talking to the bosses about the increase in wages?"
- Definitely worth it.
"Are you worshiping Ctulhu? Speak "Prev"? Do you have a key chain in the form of "Medved"? Will you take me to work? If you do not answer me, I will kill Sibya Appan ... "
- I do not own the language - I can't answer.
"Do you have statistics - how much and what quality do people find work through your site? I would like to know the number of satisfied people! "
- For 7 years, with the help of our site, more than a million people employed. Every month is employed from 30 to 50 thousand people. Many of our applicants have already managed to change work 2-3 times with our help. Look at the "success stories" - their thousands, all real, we did not come up with anything.
"Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! For several months now I actively use the services of the Hiring House "Superjob". Suggestions that are sent to me are interesting to me, some of them I send my resume with a request to answer in case of any solution. However, no messages will never come to answer. As a result, it turns out a game in one gate. And what should I do next in the case when I sent my resume on the vacancy of interest to me and did not receive any "yes" nor "no"? Why does the employer do not bother to give at least any answer? "
- Do not be discouraged and regard such silence as a refusal. If you are very interested in working in an organization that did not give you a response, I recommend calling and find out the fate of my resume. To respond to all the resume in the practice of modern HR managers and recruiters, indeed, it is not yet accepted, because the culture of job search, we still do not yet and the rules of good tone still do not apply to this scope. Moreover, not only recruiters and HR-s are to blame for this situation, but also the applicants sending their resumes wherever possible, without reading especially in the opposite side requirements. This is how HR-s hundreds of letters of "garbage" per day, and in this case, as you understand, it is almost impossible to answer all applicants.
"Why are vacancies for some specialties never published on the Internet? Why on your site so few vacancies of creative professions? "
- The employment of a person of the creative profession always requires an exclusively individual approach. Any resources - Li Internet portals, newspapers or personnel agencies are mainly looking for people under systemic business processes and help a creative person with employment cannot. Composers, writers, artists and other creative people - a piece of goods, so their employment is more dependent on them and, as it seems to me, very much depend on the simple life of the luck and desire to implement themselves.
"Thank you for the opportunity to ask a question. I am tormented by the following: how to get away from the employer without a remorse of conscience, if he treated you well, he gave everything and gave a lot. Often because due to attachment to the employer, they are delayed on the step of the career ... how to overpower yourself and leave the "warm nest"? "
- If you really have a normal relationship with the employer, voiced your doubts to the current employer. You will either come and let go, or will offer growth options. The desire to grow is normal, and believe me, employers such desires most often understand.
"Tell me, Mr. President Superjob, whether all employers are so inadequate? I am perfectly doing my job, I am responsible for the result, I know and I can do a bunch of useful things, but I don't like to overstrain, I'm late for work and sometimes I do my own business during working hours. I get paid little, arguing this to my disadvantages. Is it really anyway, who works for him, if only I follow the regime? "
- I do not consider your employers inadequate. And we, in the personnel house "Superjob", you too hardly left for a long time ... If it is fundamentally important for you to have such a job, "convenient in all respects" work, then you should think about freelace or your own business or try to find yourself Work in the "team of like-minded people" - in such a place where all employees work on free chart.
Thanks to everyone who took part in this virtual press conference, for interesting questions, warm words and constructive criticism! If you have not found an answer to your question - wait the answer by email.
Family relationships
The lack of knowledge, how to behave in certain situations, the misunderstanding of the differences of the male nature from the female, ignoring the features of the male and female psyche, ignorance and failure of the duties of her husband and wife, - all this can create big problems in family relationships, which often happens In modern families.
Vedic and modern culture of family relationships
As you already understood, the material is taken from the ancient wisdom - Vedas, or rather, from the lectures of O.G. Torsunov and some other Vedic authors. In this article, only general information, a brief overview of important moments, which you can explore in detail by listening to the seminar "Family Relations" ...
(Fragment continued below - Yu.K.)
audioYuri Kopovsky - Conflict Spouses * MUZEUM RONDIZM TV
What is most important Understand conflict
today we will do what they did in your childhood and tomorrow we will do as in my childhood
it is important to understand that another side that argues with you
says everything sincerely and for her all this is important
why?
because in childhood the child saw
what is like this (!) Enroll in a similar situation
and the deviation seems unacceptable
and dangerous for development ...
at the same time in your childhood everything was different
and you perceive as acutely inappropriateness
act differently as in your childhood
that's the whole situation
- What otherwise it is impossible to do!?
and both right ...
output?
exit only one so that no one suffers
and did not consider his life ruined
- negotiate to act in turn
today as in your childhood and tomorrow like in my
- It is important for a child:
he will be set different behaviors
and will be armed more than if he brought up one parent
- He will have options what to do ...
(in a difficult situation)
=========
continued
It should be understood that there is a huge difference between the modern and ancient Vedic culture of family or marital relations, and now this culture is largely lost, which leads to family problems and conflicts. Inability to effectively solve emerging problems and conflicts - this is another indicator of loss (lack) of knowledge and wisdom.
How to choose a suitable partner to create a family
The right choice of the future husband or wife is the most important thing that you need to do correctly before marriage. If we choose a person who is incompatible with us, we are waiting for disappointment and suffering. In modern life, in many cases, the choice of choice is not even worth - as fell in love and married. There is no reasonable approach to this issue; There is an approach based on the feelings, and after some time, it comes to understanding that these feelings are, fleeting. The awareness of incompatibility comes after the start of living together when love is destroyed.
It would be reasonable to find out compatibility before The beginning of the relationship, and in any case - to the decision to marry or get married.
Astrological compatibilityyou can try to explore yourself, but better if you have a good astrologer with extensive experience, especially if he specializes in Vedic astrology, and not engaged in lots.
Also playing a very big role mental Centers Compatibility(Chakram), as described in detail in the above lectures. Apparently, most of the relations of the modern degrading world are built on the harmony of the lower centers, which mainly means compatibility at the level of sex, etc., while all other compatibility is ignored to some extent, which automatically eliminates the real happiness of family relationships.
Features of the male and female psyche
It should be understood that men's nature is very different from female; Women's and men's psyche are different things. Due to the misunderstanding of this, there are many conflicts and problems in family relationships. Women can not understand men, men can not understand women - because they have different nature. Therefore, sometimes they tend to expect an impossible from each other.
In fact, these two nature are men's and female - should complement each other, balancing and harmonize. If there is no harmony in the relationship, it means that there is a strong incompatibility (and then it is better to break up), or someone from the spouses (or both) there is no understanding of their own nature and the nature of the spouse, and there is also no understanding and / or fulfilling their Responsibilities, what will be a little further.
Marriage and development of family relations
The conclusion of marriage is a very serious question, and more serious for a woman than for a man, and this moment should consider future spouses.
The prosperous and harmonious development of relations depends on each of the spouses - from their knowledge and fulfillment of their duties originally defined by nature itself. Relationships cannot develop by themselves - they need to build, making efforts on both sides. When it stops, the relationship fall apart.
Responsibilities of her husband and wife
Vedic texts describe the duties of her husband and the responsibilities of his wife who are clearly delimited. It is as an instruction following which rationally, Because it allows you to build harmonious family relationships, avoiding unnecessary conflicts and problems. Ignorance or non-fulfillment of your duties necessarily causes trouble that can be resolved by returning to the fulfillment of their own duties.
Features of modern family relationships
Since we live in the era of degradation, then few people know their duties in family relationships fully, and they are often confused - the wife does what the husband should do, and the husband does what the wife should do. And even knowing their duties, it is difficult to fulfill them.
Why is it difficult to go to the fulfillment of your duties? The reasons can be called a lot - depending on which side to look at the situation. For example, it prevents the ego that manifests itself in reluctance to be the first to recognize their wrong and begin to act according to its nature. On the other hand, it can be said that "presses" the indispensable karma (past lives), causing the wrong (unreasonable, not appropriate) behavior. A long-term habit of engaging does not play a role too - it is difficult to rebuilt like this.
Family relationship problems
Of course, problems arise, and they need to be solved. Notthe right approach to this is to blame the spouse (y) in their occurrence. This is the manifestation of unreasonable egoism, which never leads to a real solution to the problem.
Incorrigible situations do not happen, and the first thing to do is to clarify their own duties and understand what their failure to fulfill (see their situation), which is covered in detail in lectures. And then gradually rebuild, noting for itself how much life in the family becomes harmonious.
Regulation of family relationships
That's right (i.e., reasonably, wisely), regulate problems in relationships may prevent their own egoism. And this is a simple and strong agent - the formula of happiness. It does not suit only one category of people - reserved egoists who have no chance of becoming happy in this life (just because of egoism). All the others will receive great benefits, applying the formula of happiness in relation to their half, but not need to speak to the spouse.
If a person, by virtue of his egoism ("I do not want," "I will not", "I do not believe", etc.) It is not able to apply the formula of happiness, it may be able to work with dualities, which also will also contribute to the settlement of family problems. In many cases, the technique described in the article how to establish relationships.
If you can independently solve problems in family relationships, you can contact a psychologist who has experience in Vedic psychology. Before this, it is desirable to study your duties - save time, nerves and money.
Parenting
Who, how (and why so) should bring children? What is the role of a father and what is the role of mother in raising children? Who should raise a boy, and who is a girl? Not everything is so unambiguous, and there are many important points that I will not mention here too. From raising children depends on what it will lead in the future.
It should not be thought that the wrong upbringing affects only the fate of children. By the law of Karma, we return all mistakes made in life, including in the education of children.
Influence of family relationships
Of course, family relations affect other spheres of human vital activity. If there are problems in the family, it will in any case will affect the mood and human health, which can not not be reflected at work, in the circle of friends and in spiritual practice. Since everything in this world is interrelated, and family relationships are most of all relevant to the so-called "personal life", it is better from personal life and start regulating their life problems.
You will be successful, happy and satisfied with life - largely depends on your half. But if you save even deeper, then, of course, depends on you - from what and how you are doing in family relationships.
Performing their duties in family relationships, a person receives harmony that almost automatically leads to the order of business outside the family. Therefore, family relationships are worth paying great importance.
Family karma
In Vedic lectures, you can often hear that family karma is the hardest, and this is true. Family karma unites in itself and karma families in which we grow up, and the karma of the family we create. As a rule, it is much easier to change the circle of communication, work and some other circumstances of life if they do not suit than to change the family that we created. Moreover, it is impossible to change the family in which we were born.
On fate it was necessary for us to be born in such a family, it is such problems - to learn them to solve correctly.
The exit from the family karma trap is to understand your duties, fulfill them, and pass the exam on "5". And I want to recall once again that a universal remedy that significantly facilitating this task - formula of happiness.
Another way out is enlightenment, which is dedicated to this site. But it should be understood that the work on himself can not serve as an excuse for the non-fulfillment of family duties, if you already have a family, because it will not contribute to spiritual growth.
Happiness and egoism in family relationships
In family relations, happiness depends on what the focus of the life of each of the spouses is to live for themselves (for their own pleasure) or live for others (for the common good - family and society). The egoistic focus "Living for yourself" automatically gives the happiness of family relationships, and this is a very important point. It is impossible to get family happiness if you want happiness only for yourself, and even getting happiness for ourselves it is impossible in this case. Because as soon as you pull the "blanket on yourself", another (spouse or spouse) is automatically turned on to this egoistic game, which also begins to want to have a whole "blanket", that is, to get happiness only for yourself. Remember that happiness and egoism are incompatible.
The same thing in other areas - own egoism includes the egoism of other people with whom communication or any relationship arises. Yes, your egoism also turns on and fueled due to the fact that everyone is also egoist. Therefore, no one is happy. Exit from this vicious circle is only one - get rid of the ego, own. It is not worth worry about the egoism of others, their egoism runs out after the disappearance of their own. The reason for this is very simple: egoism requires an opponent, opponent. If you do not have egoism, then the egoism of another person in a relationship with you is unable to survive, as he needs a confrontation, the game. No games - ego fading. So simple.
It should be understood that you will not run away from family karma, and the example of the fact that many women and men who divorced, and in the next marriage there are practically the same problems as in the first or previous one. Man changed, problems remained. This once again says that nothing in our life is accidentally, and we need to learn from our mistakes, correct them - only then repeating negative situations stop.
Therefore, you do not need to hurry to throw the family and divorce, in many cases it does not solve the problem, but only creates new ones. Immediately need to see if you are all your duties in the family, do you do not live mostly for yourself, do not expect from the spouse more than it is possible and reasonable.
There are, of course, situations where the divorce is the only way out, but more often a reasonable exit is to establish relationships and save the family, crossing over its ego.
If love is gone, it does not mean that forever, and in many cases it can be returned. Several useful tools and recommendations on this is in the article How to return love to the relationship. Of course, these are just general recommendations and tools, and they do not cancel the need to study the issue of family relations more deeply.
Family Research, Test
And in conclusion, I propose to make a very important test - research or analysis of your family relationships. This happens as lectures listening. Perhaps this will be enough to understand what to do to improve family relationships, and start doing it.
As for family consultations, I do not give them for the simple reason that I have too little experience in this area. But, it is quite possible, they will not be needed after listening to lectures. Dr. Torsunov's lectures "Family Relationships" can be downloaded for free on the link above, or you can listen online on the Audiovovted website, as well as lectures on family relations of other lecturers.
I apologize that the article was not very informative, and more like advertising lectures, but the material is so much that I would have to make a couple of dozen articles, which does not quite correspond to the general subject of the site. But the better for you - listen to a specialist on this issue.
Be happy! \u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d\u003d
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Hello everyone! My name is Alexander, I am 25 years old, born and grew up in St. Petersburg. I want to tell you my story about how I was faced with neurosis, panic attacks and agoraphobia, obsessive thoughts and hypocondria, and how I managed to successfully and almost completely get rid of these unpleasant and useless experiences.
Perhaps, perhaps, I'll tell you a little about myself and my past, since the roots of all my mistakes in thinking, the nature and perception of the surrounding world and themselves, in particular, grow from there:
I was born in a disadvantaged family, the mother of an alcoholic and a walking father, whom I never saw, a small room on the outskirts of the city. The gift of fate was the fact that at the age of 2 years I was deprived of my parental rights and I was taken to live guardians in a two-room apartment, my current beloved Mamuly and grandmother (the kingdom of her heavenly), which left the life of this spring aged 93 years ...
In childhood, I was poured, overly guarded, I lived until recently with my mother in one room, which was also strongly affected by my upbringing and character, I was always very clear, anxious, excessively cowardly but at the same time a perfectionist and tried to control everything and All in his life. How and everything went to school, to the 6th grade studied perfectly, but then my estimates began to rapidly fall as a result of my passionate hobbies in sports, in which I immediately began to get everything and soon I was able to achieve good results, at the age of 17-18 years I Already a multiple champion and winner of the championships of the city and the country.
He entered the sports university on the day, but was expelled from the first course for the impossibility. At the moment, I study at the last year of the correspondence department of the Economic Faculty, where he acted as they say for the sake of "crust" and not to upset his parents, and still I think that I had to choose the humanitarian direction rather than the study of the exact sciences and the economy (at school I am much easier Russian language, literature, history, but in mathematics, physics, etc. I could not enter it)).
I work as a manager in a small company engaged in the design and construction in the field of energy supply, which also does not bring me satisfaction at the moment and I do not see myself in this profession in this profession.
In general, the lion's share of voltage and experiences in my life causes uncertainty and the desire to quickly find himself in this life, the resistance of reality and the desire of change, despite the fact that I am very lazy and, because of my upbringing, I am not used to take the responsibility for yourself and to make serious decisions. Do not solve problems and postpone them in a long box and avoid meeting with them. In my personal life, I have nothing definitely, I'm not married, there are no children and have never had a serious relationship ..
For the past years 4, I periodically started to drive myself with thoughts that I am something seriously ill and other obsessive thoughts. I was diagnosed with me a hernia of the back, which was most likely the usual nerve overvoltage and going on vacation in 2011 I forgot about him, but But almost immediately, I began to have problems with digestion, and because of my supervaluation and anxiety, I began to inflate this problem and wrap myself almost cancer all anything, even almost blood in the chair found (before our fantasy and faith in certain Things, let it even be absurd to deceive us and give out the desired for valid), and permanent searches and comparison of symptoms on the Internet did our job - I found and assigned everything that was at least a little bit like my guesses about "terrible disease"
I already had symptoms (tachycardia, pressure) - during the exacerbation of these nerve experiences about my sores, but then I did not reach the peak and these experiences did not cross the border and did not pour into panic attacks and agoraphobia .. I just did not I paid attention to them and was concerned exclusively the fact that my last months live)))
At the end of 2014, at one of the next parties on the day off, I tried one as they say "light drug". In general, to honestly speaking the past few years, I didn't shy on a weekend pretty to go alcohol, which helped me become more confident in myself and forget about my problems and feel greasy and more sociable than I really was. But this time everything was a little different ... a couple of days of rampant fun under the influence of the drug and the disheveled alcohol was pretty worn.
As usual on Monday, I'm on a small movement after all the drunk and planted went to work. Sitting in the subway and passing one stop, I suddenly felt unprecedented feeling of wild fear and panic, a desire to escape from there, as if failed to fall into some kind of pit. Sitting opposite people looked at me and did not understand what was happening to me. I blushed, I began to close my face with my hands, the heart beat with a mad speed and it seemed ready to jump out out, it became difficult for me to breathe and it seemed that this was some kind of heart attack and I would die now ...
Switching on the next stop, I left the subway and headed back home to the friend with whom we spent this mad weekend. I then thought that this action the drug was not over and decided to sit at him and come to my senses, I was afraid to go to such a way, I was afraid that my parents see what something was wrong with me ... The next two days were just hell, I was afraid to go out On the street, I was not to fall asleep, I devoured a whole bunch of sedative and night already wanted to call an ambulance or go to the droppers, at work I had to save for several days ..
I was sick, every 15-20 minutes I ran to the toilet in a small, digestion was broken, the nerves were like stretched strings and from every row, I shuddered as if a bomb exploded next to me.
A few days later I drove to work, home and generally moved a little bit away from the wild horror, considering that I was completely recovered after a destroying party ... But it was not here, the attack was repeated first at work with the boss (I had to say that it was not pressure) -Well once again in the subway - then already at home lying in bed at night .. I did not understand what was happening to me, I was constantly shaking my hands, threw in the cold sweat on the nerves, twitching the eyelids, it seemed to me that I was crazy And my brain is finally damaged from the fact that I tried this ill-fated "lightweight drug."
I started depersonalization and delinealization, everything around me was somehow unreal to me, I could not hold attention to something for a long time, I could not even read the TV, my body and muscles were constantly in suspense, the neck was lying, tormented insomnia, I drank Valerian and other pills from pressure ..
In the end, I remembered that I have a familiar psychotherapist and decided to go to him at the reception. He later heard me immediately diagnosed with panic attacks, wrote to me a couple of recipes for antidepressants and some more severe sedative and said that in a month everything will pass. Having bought all these drugs, something stopped immediately to start receiving antidepressants, most likely reading the reviews on the Internet that after their cancellation becomes very bad, I was just afraid to immediately start receiving the course.
On the winter holidays, I planned to fly on vacation and I already had tickets in my hands, but naturally being in such a deplorable psychological state and from childhood Panicianly fear of aircraft on the day of departure in agony passed tickets and after a couple of hours of hysterics caused a taxi and went to The remaining holidays at the cottage in the Leningrad region ... So I launched an avoidance mechanism ...
From the morning of the week in depression and a terrible state, from morning to evening I climbed on the Internet and was looking for ways to get rid of this ailment with the terrible name "Panic attacks", communicated on the forums, from where my "sick" brain patted all new and new symptoms and avoidance And he began to assign them to himself ... Once in the evening, as always, I had information about ICC and panic attacks on the Internet, I came across Fedorenko Paul, where it was possible to download a free book guide to get rid of all my problems.
In just a couple of hours, "swallowing" this book, for some reason I immediately believed everything that was written there and decided to act in this direction .. Some as going to work after the holidays I began to try not to avoid avoidances and follow the advice that I read in the book "Happy life without VD and panic attacks", but naturally at first, in the root, I did not understand the essence of my problem, I had little, but it was exactly the beginning of my way back to normal life without a panic, because without samples and errors the result does not happen ..
At that time, I had already begun to avoid very many things and narrowed my life to the tiny "comfort zone" in which it seemed to me the panic attack I would not get it: I excluded completely alcohol, coffee, even briefly quit smoking but quickly returned to this destructive habit after visits to the cardiologist, who said that I am "at least in space you can")) Subsequently, I also passed the tests and did an ultrasound of almost all the authorities, which did not reveal any pathologies and gave me to understand that all problems and symptoms are only in My head. I stopped communicating with friends, avoided meetings to work with the chief and just business negotiations, often avoided trips in transport, cinemas and places, from where in the case of an attack could not quickly leave ..
Studying the book and video recordings Pavel Fedorenko, I gradually began to understand what the level of anxiety was happening to me and the level of trouble with the round-the-clock, but I still allowed many mistakes and only occasionally left the "Comfort zone". At the end of March I decided to sign up for Pashin training under the name "System of Healthy Thinking". At first, I was hard to have information and practices, because at that moment I still searched for a "magic tablet" and dreamed of getting rid of the symptoms of the VDC and panic, and the brain resisted adequately to perceive the information.
Over time, I got better and better, I began to understand and realize the fact that the panic attacks did not arise by themselves, began to understand that they led to them and that the root of the problem really in my thinking, habits and established stereotypes and behavior in life, began Perform practices that were given in class ..
At the moment I feel almost completely free man. I stopped avoiding coffee, alcohol (right now much less often and not in such quantities as before)), I go to work and communicate with friends, attend a movie and go in public transport, I began to visit the gym and the pool, I go to the bath, once a week Antidepressants I never began to take and just threw them together with recipes a couple of months ago, attend the exhibitions, I go to the country and in principle I don't have more strong restrictions, except in other cities I am still after my "illness" did not go to the plane or The train has not yet sat down, but I am sure that it is all in front of me, I try not to hurry the events and take as my success and small kickbacks back and vital difficulties.
It is very important to understand and realize that we all got into neurosis and the psychological disorders aroused out of it are not immediately, our lifestyle and the perception of the world has led us to this dead end, and at the level of thinking that we did not solve the problem to the panic attacks panic attacks only the vertex of iceberg, the body signal that we have come too far and it's time to change something in your life, and that part of the iceberg that is under water, which we are invisible - it is just our non-adaptive behavior, our incorrect behavior reactions to certain events, infantility, irresponsibility, inability to cope with emotions that sometimes remove our nervous system for several hours anywhere and days, a bunch of ownership and the world around, in general, inadequate thinking ... You can go on sports and remove symptoms but still experiencing anxiety, you can study meditations and try to gain peaceful harmony, but still experience discomfort in uncomfortable situations Ay and exciting moments.
In conclusion I want to say that after a few months, I continue to work on myself, I returned to my usual calm condition and little, and probably it's almost impossible to return me to that chaos in my head that I had in winter, but also looking from the side, As well as with the help of the community in which I am, I understand that I still have a lot of new discoveries in yourself and much in what to overcome yourself before I can become a real happy person.
I wish everyone who faced such a problem as IT and panic attacks of patience and faith in themselves, prevent mistakes in working on getting rid of them, and deep awareness of the fact that all the alarms and fears are just thoughts, and only we ourselves Create and then blindly believe in them, losing the most valuable thing that we have in life - the present moment and real life, let's learn to live in the present and not in thoughts about the past and experiences about the future ... All good)
* Note: Spelling, punctuation and style of the author are saved.