The need for spiritual and physical development is beyond doubt. Parents are concerned about raising young children. A person who is older than himself as a person builds himself. But how to properly organize this process, where to start self-development?
About self-improvement
What advice is there to someone who has decided to improve himself? First, you need to figure out what exactly he is going to improve, what is the meaning of the concept of "self-development" for him. Modern trends often mean by this term the opportunity to become successful. Not clever, not kind, not talented, but simply who have achieved a certain degree of success. But is this a goal that you really need to strive for?
Let's think for a minute: geniuses and just successful people of past years did not read on self-development! But this by no means prevented them from achieving remarkable results. Moreover, it is difficult to imagine a psychological training that can make an artist talented, or a self-development brochure that allowed a scientist to make a brilliant discovery. Without a doubt, each of the realized personalities worked a lot on themselves, but these were hardly methods, like those, which is recommended today.
About the goals of self-development
An artist who paints his canvases, a writer, a sculptor - they, not yet starting to work, already imagine the desired result. And the scientist, approaching his discovery, sees a cherished goal in front of him: a new device, a proven theorem. The one who thinks about how to start self-development must also imagine what results he wants to achieve. Without realizing this, it is foolish to start the process of your own restructuring.
One need not remind one more time of the need for physical improvement: the phrase “A healthy mind in a healthy body” speaks of this quite specifically. As for the improvement of a different kind, then even 30-40 years ago, the ideas on this score were different. To the question of what to do for self-development, answers would be given that fundamentally do not coincide with modern ones. However, a person working on himself would then also be referred to literature - to the works of the classics.
Jack London. "Martin Eden"
Unlike modern psychologists, who present detailed algorithms of where to start self-development, the classical literature does not give specific advice. She simply invites a person to think, to understand his own soul. And also try to answer the main question about why he is on this earth, what is the meaning of the life given to him.
Jack London's novel "Martin Eden" can be called a textbook on self-development. A young boy, a sailor, having fallen in love with a girl from another circle, begins to work a lot on himself, learn and improve in order to be worthy of his beloved. And this brings generous fruits: the former sailor becomes a famous writer, a rich man. But the once-so-desired success does not give Eden satisfaction, and even passionate feelings leave him. Our hero understands that the beautiful image of his beloved drawn by him was just a beautiful dream, and the real girl is limited and selfish.
And what's the bottom line? After all this grandiose work on himself, Eden is left with only bitter disappointment and a persistent unwillingness to live. The author is undoubtedly proud of his hero and his pursuit of excellence. But the novel also speaks about the wrong alignment of life priorities, and about the tragic attempts of a person to comprehend life and himself in it.
About books
There are many works in the world that help a person to understand the essence of the universe. But perhaps the best books on self-development are the immortal works of Leo Tolstoy. These are the deepest reflections on morality and faith, on feelings and duty, on heroism, compassion and love. Tolstoy's descriptions and conclusions are akin to those of the best psychologists who guide their clients through life.
But what does self-improvement have to do with it? There is a wonderful and very correct phrase"The soul is obliged to work!" The creations of Tolstoy and other classics passed through the mind and soul are the best answer to the question of what to do for self-development. The soul in the process of reading becomes cleaner, the mind becomes brighter, and the person becomes better.
About life approaches
What does a person live for? The following phrase was once popular: "Man is born for happiness, like a bird for flight." But now these words are hardly remembered, they do not fit well into the current coordinate system. Happiness is a shaky concept, it is difficult to teach it. Whether it's success! Successful people are in full view, they are worshiped, envied, trying to imitate. Teaching to be successful has become a fashionable trend: the goal of all trainings and seminars on personal development is just such an attitude. But how correct is this?
The richest man of our time - Bill Gates - wrote a will according to which his children receive practically nothing. What is this - whim, tyranny? Or, on the contrary, the wisdom of a father, the desire for happiness for his own children? It seems precisely the latter.
Money alone hasn't made anyone happy yet. It is unlikely that Gates, on the approaches to the peaks, racked his brains over where to start self-development, how to achieve success with it. His life was simply interesting and fulfilling, consisted of things he loved and the finds and disappointments, achievements and failures accompanying any work. In this life, there was a thirst for victory and excitement, probably happiness. Leaving only money for their children, depriving them of the need to go forward and truly live, means to make them deeply unhappy. Gates figured it out in time.
And again about happiness
For many, there is a clear substitution of concepts, and success becomes an end in itself. In fact, the psychology of human self-development should be based on his desire for happiness. Success, however, can only be a partial, concomitant result. Example: a girl seeks to get married, she is only interested in “princes” (by the way, a considerable part is devoted to this very thing - to teach young people to always achieve their goals). And, for example, even our heroine, armed with professional advice, succeeds - the "prince" is with her. But will it bring them both happiness? Will their home become warm, will love and joy settle in it?
But in real fairy tales, everything is different. Folklore characters dream exclusively of love and strive for it, sweeping away any obstacles. Is this why the endings of fairy tales are much better than those that await us in real life?
How to be?
If you do not set your specific goal of achieving success, then what to do? Sit, like the legendary Emela, on the stove and wait for the onset of happiness? In no case! To lazy people with an empty soul, it is unlikely to look. The path to happiness is hard work, it is an attempt to understand and change yourself in order to become better. Where to start self-development? From books and music, perception of beauty (it is not for nothing that it is said that beauty will save the world!). Even from attempts to understand people nearby, from the desire to improve life around (it is difficult in an inharmonious world!).
Self-improvement presupposes serious work on oneself, and in this matter the recommendations of specialists will be more than appropriate. Not all of them, of course. Instructions to achieve success at any cost and walk towards your goal almost over corpses will never make a person happy. Only those tips that contribute to the real improvement of human qualities will be useful.
It's no secret that people are born different. Absolutely everyone, even the most powerful and talented, needs wise teachers. But in one case, the role of the adviser will be taken on by good book, and in another person needs serious help from the outside.
What will psychologists tell you? How to start self-development correctly? Although the methods of specialists sometimes differ significantly and are far from indisputable, a number of recommendations are still worth taking into account. For example, get to know yourself, try to understand your goals and desires, soberly assess your strengths and weaknesses, so that you can then work on both, improving as a person. Any person has a limit of possibilities, but self-development allows you to push the boundaries and do what seemed impossible yesterday.
Psychologists have a lot of practical advice in stock. For example, every day to discover something new for yourself - the process of self-development is endless. And also break down a big goal into stages so that the process of achieving it does not seem so difficult. Recommendations on how to overcome the laziness inherent in many, how not to give in to difficulties, how to do what you love, and not what you have to do, will also be useful.
Psychologist's advice will be extremely important for people burdened with complexes. Very often, a person's self-development and achievement of the set goal is hampered by the inability to communicate and it is not good to impose one's will on others - everyone knows this. But nothing is better to give in forever, not be able to insist on your own, constantly extinguish your impulses, needs, desires.
Organizational advice will also be valuable for personal self-development. overcome obstacles and achieve success? How to spend less time on work, but at the same time do more, how not to be afraid of failure and learn from your mistakes? You can even teach a person to read books in a new way, while extracting the maximum benefit. After all, there is no self-development without the ability to perceive information!
Live in joy
So what is human self-development? This is the path to harmony, life satisfaction, happiness. Therefore, the most important and truly invaluable are those tips that encourage a person to be happy. How to live your life fruitfully and healthy? How to get rid of anger and envy, learn to believe in yourself, develop a positive attitude towards yourself and people? The result of self-development should be the ability to love and make friends, the ability to appreciate human warmth and admire beauty. The desire for harmony and perfection in a person's blood, you just need to direct these impulses in the necessary direction.
You will receive an answer to the question where to start self-development by reading this article. Here I will share with you a methodology, the classes of which will take you just 40 minutes a day. These classes will be your answer to the question of how to start self-development right now! No lifestyle changes are required from you at the moment, just 40 minutes of practice every day! Almost immediately, you will feel relaxation, improved well-being, and this does not require lengthy preparation from you. But more on that later, first let me start with a preface.
As I print this article, I feel a tremendous responsibility. Because I am perfectly aware of what a delicate, respectful attitude a person requires at the moment of searching for a starting point from which self-development begins.
How and when to start self-development? How it should NOT be started.
That is why I will try to give the most intelligible and most appropriate answer to the main question of this article. But after all, not every answer may turn out to be successful, no matter how accurately it did not reflect the main stages of self-development, there is always a danger that this answer can scare you away, make you give up at the very moment that may turn out to be the most responsible, important moment in your life when it is determined whether you will follow the path of self-improvement or will continue to live the same life. I will explain this a little below.
Many information sources, trying to answer the question “ how to start self-development?“, Heap a bunch of advice at the reader. These tips are neither harmful nor wrong. They are simply out of time. Since they propose to start making fundamental changes in the way of life, in habits, in the daily routine, in social relationships, etc., in general, to radically revise the existing, customary state of affairs.
Advice like this, calling for drastic, rapid change, requires tremendous willpower and energy from the person to whom it is addressed. After all, not everyone is able to immediately part with their favorite habits, and start organizing their free and working time, stop aimless, unproductive wandering on the Internet and be puzzled by reading books or other sources that contribute to personal self-development along with general erudition.
People get used to their way of life, for this reason they are not able to rebuild it and begin to change for the better with a wave of a magic wand. Moreover, such a radical transition to new habits, as well as a routine, requires such things as willpower, character, determination, focus on goals, the ability to make decisions, be responsible for them. But these things are components of personality development, develop as the stages of self-development go through.
And if someone asks “ where to start self-development", Then it is concluded that this" someone "is still only at the origins of this path and, therefore, may not possess some of the above qualities.
It turns out that the wrong approach was in the service of a good cause. My task is harmonious self-improvement, which I understand as the balanced development of intellectual, physical, aesthetic, social and spiritual qualities. We're not going to rush anywhere yet. After all, I do not offer any quick solutions, but aim at the progressive gradual formation of you as a person.
How to start self-development today
Therefore, I am not going to expect any rapid changes from you, but I will propose to start small. With such a "small", which will not be a challenge to your usual way of life, it will not take much of your time and energy (you only need 40 minutes of time a day). But later, with regular practice, it will bring a lot of life benefits. And only then, gradually, when the time comes, you begin to make changes in your life, in your character, in your environment.
You will have time to decide what you really want, what qualities to develop, what to focus on and where to move, but this still requires some support, a foothold. You can start with the formation of this "beachhead" today, without postponing for the future, because it does not require special training or special skills.
I would like to emphasize once again that the application of this eastern practice was successfully reflected in western culture, having proven its effectiveness in the framework of exercises for relaxation, mind control and neutralization of states of mental discomfort maintaining discipline, moving from the field of esoteric knowledge to the field of scientific knowledge. Meditation - effective tool at the service of self-development!
But there should be a clear understanding that this practice is not an end in itself, just as the development of leg muscles is not the ultimate goal for a runner, it is just a tool to achieve desired result: for the runner, it is a victory in the running competition, and for you, it is harmonious and balanced self-development. You meditate not in order to ideally master the technique of meditation (although it would be quite nice to master it, it’s even necessary), but in order to make it easier to grow and develop as a person.
Probably, personal growth possible without meditation, but since I rely on my own experience, I am talking about what helped me. I don't know any other way. For me, meditation was the impetus for moving forward and the beginning of self-development. Finally, a long prelude was followed by a specific and intelligible answer to the question of how to start self-development: "start meditating!"
Firstly, as I already wrote, it will not take more than 40 minutes a day, it does not require any special conditions (it is not necessary to leave everything to collect money and leave for Tibet :-)). You can even do it on public transport on your way to work / school. Although it is still advisable to do this in calm atmosphere... But if there is no possibility, then even the metro will do).
Is meditation difficult?
You don't need to be highly trained to start meditating! You will master the technique as you practice, it will come with time. Also, you don't have to change your habits right away, just add meditation in the morning and evening to your daily routine. The main condition is to do it regularly, do not forget and do not score, only then will you feel the beneficial effect.
The effect is different for everyone. I have it in six months. Do not be intimidated by this term: there will be no instant result!... This you must firmly understand for yourself, come to terms with this thought. In my opinion, the instant result is a myth, a phantom. All important, fundamental personality changes are long and gradual character) So where to start?
Meditation is your practice that will provide you with the necessary skills for self-development, it is some kind of fundamental exercise that you need to start doing first. This is also necessary, as a beginner gymnast should do stretching first before moving on to the rest.
First, familiarize yourself with the theory in, and then you can proceed to the actual practice. Remember, no one is rushing you, you do not need to have time to read all this in the shortest possible time. If you are too lazy to study all these theoretical materials, then proceed immediately to practice, but at least read the conclusions outlined in the first step.
In conclusion, I would like to note that although the main long-term effect of meditation does not appear immediately, you will feel some positive changes almost immediately after starting the practice. This is because you will just be regular relax and put your thoughts in order(this refers to instant effects) which is good. In addition, you introduce into your routine a compulsory exercise that you will do daily, strictly twice a day for 20 minutes per session, this already brings some minimal additional order into your life (whatever you do every day, meditation is not important this, exercise or everyday jogging). This teaches you to keep your promises to yourself, maintain discipline, which is perhaps one of the most significant stages of self-development.
Hope you're ready to get started. Wish you luck!
I made the first attempts to outline my desires by spheres of life in 2011 (I have been keeping all my diaries and notes since 1998 - so I have material evidence and can clearly trace these things ;-)) In 2014, I already set specific goals for self-development - specifically and systemically, in each area. And since 2014, I have been setting goals every year in all areas - and here's why.
2014 the year was a turning point for me. In 12 months: I started traveling and visited three countries (Israel, Crete, Germany), studied at two international schools, learned another language, got a driver's license, a position of a manager at work, met the man of my dreams, got married and under New Year found out that we will have a baby! It was just a crazy year! And what is interesting - all these changes took place in accordance with the goals that I set in December 2013.
Here's how my life has changed since 2011 by areas:
| Life sphere | My situation is in: |
|||
| 2011 | 2013 | 2014 | 2019 | |
| Self-realization, career growth | Postgraduate studies. The work on the dissertation is sluggish. | I work as a librarian. She defended her thesis, received a Ph.D. diploma. | Moved to the scientific department. Received 2 certificates in international schools, learned 1 more language. She became the head of the scientific department. | I learned how to create websites, opened my blog and an online project. She quit her job and started an online business. |
| Personal growth and spiritual development | Low self-esteem, self-doubt, depression, tantrums, bouts of loneliness and apathy. I have no strength to study and work. | I became more organized - I learned to work quickly and on time. Attacks of loneliness and apathy continue. | I discovered negative attitudes and began to eliminate them. She learned to accept - herself and life situations. Finally I felt enough, needed, happy, loved) | I feel like a happy person. I continue to work on inner harmony, increasing personal efficiency and personal balance in the spheres of life. |
| Finance(material well-being) | Parents help | I work for the minimum wage. | Received the desired salary. I live in comfort) | I work for myself, I opened my own business with a decent income) |
| Recreation(Leisure, Travel) | At home in front of the computer | At home in front of the TV and with the phone Target: start traveling and see the world | Visited Israel, Crete, Germany. | Visited Turkey, Egypt, Spain. Interesting leisure activities and games with the family on weekends |
| Love (relationship with a man). | I'm 24: no relationship. | I'm 26: Relationships don't work out, there are not “those” men. I got a cat. | I'm 27: I met a man - we got married the same year) | Happy wife - love and beloved) We pump our relationship, go on dates). We solve the arising contradictions in an environmentally friendly manner (well, how can we do without them ?!) |
| House and withfamily | I have been living for the 7th year in a student hostel. Parents in another city. | I live alone in a rented 1-room apartment. | Moved to a spacious apartment in the city center. | I am a happy mother, wife, mistress) Relations with a large family (parents, brother) - harmonious) |
| Health (nutrition, sports, personal care) | Overweight, lack of exercise and regular grooming | Sudden fainting + bad habits (smoking, alcohol). problems with blood vessels. | Health improved, got rid of bad habits... Normalized the state of blood vessels. | I feel healthy and energetic. I keep my health under control. After giving birth, I recovered, finally got rid of the excess weight (After 8 years!) 4 years I keep in my ideal weight) |
| Communication / Environment / Friends | 1-2 girlfriends | 1-2 girlfriends | 1-2 girlfriends | There are many friends and adherents in my city and around the world. |
| Hobbies and hobbies | Absent | Absent | I bake complex cakes and desserts, I grow flowers | I'm skiing. I draw. I grow flowers. I bake cakes on holidays) |
My example of self-development is not about “successful success”, not about luck and winning the lottery) My story is about how to systematically work on yourself and gradually change all spheres of life, achieve your goals and fulfill your desires: whether it be meeting a loved one, raising for work, traveling the world or changing activities.
And in this article I will share with you not only my example of self-development - but specific tools and techniques, tested on personal experience.
1. Where to start self-development: ways, methods, principles, stages.
“Self-development” - how often do we hear this word now ... But what is included in this concept?
In fact, each person puts his own meaning in the concept of "self-development" - depending on what worries him and in what he feels the need to pump himself.
But still I will try to give a universal definition of the term "self-development" and, on its basis, offer you a plan, directions and stages for self-development.
Self-development is the development of a person in all spheres of life and evolutionary gradual growth, as a result of which a person “sees and understands” more and, accordingly, improves the quality of his life in all respects.
Very often “self-development” is equated with “personal growth”, but this is far from the same thing.
Personal growth is one of the life spheres (there are 9 of them) in which self-development is carried out. Personal growth is personality pumping: personal qualities, character, development positive qualities, fighting bad habits, working with beliefs and attitudes. Other tasks of self-development are distributed in other 8 areas.
Let's remember the main 9 spheres of life - these will be the main directions for self-development:
- Personal growth and spiritual development
- Self-realization, career growth
- Health (nutrition, sports, beauty, personal care)
- Love, relationships.
- Home and family (children, relatives)
- Communication / Environment / Friends
- Finance and material well-being
- Leisure / Leisure / Travel
- Hobbies and hobbies
That is personal growth is one of the eight directions for self-development, but not its synonym.
Let me make a few clarifications by area. Surely you noticed that “Love and Relationship” and “Family” are 2 different areas in my schema. This, of course, does not mean that you need to start a relationship on the side of the family)) But this is a call to pay Special attention husband and relationship with him - to allocate time only for two, to leave the traditional roles of "mom" and "dad" and be just a man and a woman who are genuinely interested in each other, go on dates and interesting events. I have already written special blog articles and continue to develop this topic - for example, etc.)
How to make a personal self-development plan: step by step instructions
In order to start self-development, you first need to answer yourself a number of questions:
- In what direction do I want to develop?
- What do I want?
- What am I dreaming about?
Step 1 –Prescribing a personal formula for a Dream Life
I suggest group dreams into specific areas, which we indicated above.
Why am I suggesting 9 areas? It is this set of spheres and their uniform filling that is the key to a happy, successful life. Remove one of these areas and life will be incomplete. Many women make the mistake of betting on one or two areas and neglecting the rest - life must be balanced and fulfilled in all areas.
Judge for yourself, will a housewife be completely happy, having put an end to her abilities and talents, which are hiding inside and rushing out?
Will a desperate careerist who works a lot, travels on business trips, but returns to an empty cold apartment in the evenings and does not know simple human warmth, sincere hugs, the joy of motherhood? ...
Of course, every woman has her own path, choices, priorities and values. But personally, I was in that and in that role, so I can say for sure that found happiness when she learned combine career and love, self-realization and family and all other areas.
Each sphere is a life support and the basis of personality stability. If 1 sphere fails, the person is supported by all the others and he can withstand difficult periods.
At the same time, it should be recognized: it is impossible to develop all 9 areas evenly and devote the same amount of time to them. And is it necessary? For example, for the spheres of "hobbies", "friends" it is enough to allocate 1-2 hours a week, in contrast to the sphere of "Family", which requires a lot of our attention every day (especially when children appear), you need to devote time every day. The sphere of "health" - although a priority, does not require daily visits to the doctor, if everything is in order with health - it is important to undergo some routine examinations once a year / six months, get rid of bad habits and, ideally, introduce useful ones. How much time is needed for this? Not much, but you need to highlight it - and prescribe specifically what you will do for the “Health (nutrition, sports, beauty, personal care))
In any case, you need prioritize life areas of importance to you- and then it will become clear what to pay attention to in the first place, what should not be forgotten and supported as important for you. Inche very often it turns out that we lose sight of some very important things - the same health, relationships in the family, communication with friends, and then this sphere fails and destroys life ...
I have a special planner in which I can prioritize life areas - planner for defining the formula of the Dream Life. But its main function is to write down your dreams in spheres: this way you create a picture of the life that you want to create, which you dream about and which you are going). To download such a planner "Dream Life Formula" in Word format (this is one page in the form of a plate to fill in) - click on the file name
- At the same stage, you can connect visualization : make a "Wish Card" - a collage with beautiful pictures that you want to see in your future life, put an appropriate screensaver on your phone or computer screen - a picture from your dreams. It works, personally tested.
- Use also affirmations - positive affirmations, the repetition of which helps to tune in to the right wave, create a positive attitude. Just please don't repeat someone else's affirmations taken from the internet. Your personal affirmations - tailored to your goals - will work best for you. I wrote how to write personal affirmations in this article.
When the Dream Life Formula planner is complete, consider that your plan for self-development is almost ready.
It remains to add specifics and prescribe an action plan.
Moving on to the next step planning ... Only with a clear plan will you understand what to do and how to act on the way to your dreams, desires and goals.
Step 2. We draw up a self-development plan for the year
If the Dream Life Formula planner is full, then you have a clear idea of what you want.
Now we compose Self-development plan on go e - we set specific goals for the areas for the year in accordance with our dreams.
Download and complete the Planner "My goals for the year by areas"(PDF download will start automatically after clicking on the file name)
Print out the planner - write your dream goals in the appropriate columns. What is important in this planner is to write down specific steps and set deadlines in special columns.
For example, my goal for a year is to start traveling. What specific steps can I take along the way? Obtain a passport, write a list of countries that I want to visit, subscribe to public low-cost airlines, monitor housing prices, for example (I wrote in detail about how to plan a trip). And also setting the goal “to start traveling” will open me up to all opportunities to travel - I will strive to get on a business trip, international school or conference.
Setting a goal in a different area makes us see the possibility of realizing it, and not look for excuses “why this is impossible”.
I wrote a lot about setting goals for the year, I will now post on the most important points.
So, important rules when setting goals for the year:
1. TOEach goal must be achievable, specific and have a clear time frame - for this, my year planner has corresponding columns, where you need to write down your goals for specific steps and set deadlines for their implementation. This is the foundation in goal setting and without it - nowhere.
Everyone has their own threshold of “real and achievable”, of course, and this inner ceiling of ours rests on beliefs and attitudes - of course, we also need to work with this, but that's another story.
2. Do not spray! Don't set too many goals in each area - 1-2, a maximum of 3 goals for each area will be enough. I confess that I have such a sin - I want to be in time as much as possible: I set a lot of goals, and then I chase them all year. Yes, you can live like that - but not for long)) A year, two, maximum three. Then comes exhaustion, apathy and personal crises. So fewer goals are better, slower growth - but better quality, for pleasure, with sense and arrangement.
In fact, my most successful plan contained one specific goal in each area - that is, 9 goals for the year.
9 achieved annual goals in each area - this is a revolution in life.
3... Set goals in a good mood and confident that everything will work out. You need to work on your goals in an optimal state - when you are rested, full of energy and in a good mood - this is true, it is important! Somehow I disregarded this rule and set goals for being tired in the state of “squeezed lemon” - and the goals turned out to be the same: pulled out of myself by ticks, not particularly inspiring and not motivating ... Therefore, it is better to take time out for yourself in a calm atmosphere, pour a cup of tea / coffee and calmly plunge into designing your future for an hour or two.
4. Internal readiness for goals. When you set goals, it is important to feel that you have the strength and energy to achieve them, that you are ready to open the doors and let changes in your life! Many set goals for themselves - and at the same time, they seem to doubt that it is possible for them, is real and even afraid of change, they are not completely sure that they need it ... So the task is to set exactly such “necessary goals” - if you are 100% confident % that you need it, you deserve it.
5. Build your confidence and allow yourself to have what you really dream of. Ask yourself a question "What do I deserve ?!"
This question at one time brought me a lot of discoveries and gave me the courage to set goals and dreams that made my knees tremble. But I knew for sure that I deserved it - and even thought
“Why I still don’t have it ?! It should already be - it's so obvious that I deserve it! ”))
Such a wild confidence that you will have everything you deserve works wonders !!! All my goals were achieved then - with what, in the easiest way))
I wrote in more detail about setting goals for the year here:
Step 3. Break down the goals for the year by specific steps
When you're ready clear step by step plan self-development- we break down the annual goals by quarter and month.
Next to each goal, write down when you are going to work on it. It is impossible to run towards all the annual goals at the same time - but it is possible to move gradually and in turn towards each one: after all, there are as many as 12 months in a year.
The task of this stage of working with goals is to distribute goals by seasons and outline for yourself which goals are better to work out in the summer, which ones - in winter, autumn, spring.
The block planner can be downloaded here
And every month we make self-development plan for a month. In my blog you will find special planner for every month- with a calendar, tables “Personal balance, List to do, Whish List.
I guarantee that if you make a plan every month according to such a scheme and adhere to it, you will achieve great results, maintaining a balance in all areas of life.
Every month I blog a new planner to work on myself and my goals. Leave your email address - if you want to receive such planners for every month:
I have been doing self-development myself for quite a long time (I have been keeping a diary since 1998) and have watched many people in this regard at planning consultations. So I came to one interesting conclusion: not everyone can achieve their goals. Some people cannot even put them and clearly answer to themselves the question “what do I want?”. Many people set goals, but then abandon them (it turns out that you have to work on goals, which is not easy). It also happens that a person is working on himself - he is actively working, but then it turns out that in the wrong direction and all the efforts spent are in vain ...
So what's the reason? Why does self-development give results for some, while for others nothing changes?
Self-development has its own laws and stages- it is impossible to immediately jump from the lower step to the upper one. No, all the stages must be passed sequentially, and the speed of their passage depends on the person's motivation, his desire and perseverance to develop and move along the chosen path, as well as on the starting positions (after all, we are all different and have initially different baggage and different capabilities - emotional, financial, organizational, intellectual).
So, 8 stages of self-development for women:
1. Detect and rewrite negative attitudes, if any (95-97% of people have them).
2. Work out and letting go of childhood trauma(and adult grievances, of course, too) - to remove with a scalpel other people's expectations, limiting beliefs and common stereotypes.
3. Respect yourself and your feelings: accept your any states (both good and bad - they are all needed and are necessary parts of the Path), personal boundaries, love cute flaws and recognize your merits.
4. Get to the core of your true desires, accept them, cherish and cherish, cultivate them like a delicate flower (and not stuff them into a long box with a sign “then somehow” and force yourself to do what is “necessary”, “the right way”, “ideal”). This is the foundation for the next level.
5. To find the Purpose and Your Way- one that brings joy and makes you jump out of bed in the morning.
6. Unleash your potential and show the world your talents (I'm sure that every person has them! Usually they are buried where you are excited by the very idea of the opportunity to do something - even for free).
7. To develop, achieve their goals and all the new heights, but at the same time do not strive for some kind of mythical perfection and ideal, comparing oneself with others and torturing oneself with unreasonable standards.
8. Comprehend the art of personal balance and make your life fulfilling in all areas (health, family, work, friends, hobbies, entertainment, travel, sports, etc.)
As you can see, self-development is a harmonious system according to which you can develop and work on yourself. And be sure that the more you work on yourself - the brighter and more interesting your life will become!
I wish you success in your self-development,
with love Sasha Leonova
P.S. I embodied my experience of self-development in the author's weekly magazine for a year - all the planners from the article (and even more) are published in one place under a beautiful cover:
To stay connected, check out my Instagram and subscribe to the e-mail newsletter.
Have you wanted to do self-development for a long time? But they put it off because they didn't know where to start? No problem. This article will talk about. 
How to start self-development - 10 steps
Step # 1. Set goals
If you do not set goals, then you continue to exist aimlessly.
Or you work long and hard, and at the end you realize that you have become not the person you wanted. "We hit the wrong building."
Start simple. Set goals for the week. For example, read 1 book, take a self-development course.
Gradually complicate the task. Set goals for 3 months, for a year, for 3-5 years, and for life.
Step # 2. Plan your day
The next step is planning. To achieve goals, you need to draw up a plan for achieving them and follow it.
Start with the easiest as well. Plan your day:
- Take a piece of paper, notebook or smartphone;
- Date;
- Write a list of things you want to do tomorrow;
- List priorities with letters. Cases with the letter A are the most important. With the letter B - less important.
Step # 3. Start reading
All successful people read.
Bill Gates reads 50 books a year. He publishes the best on his Youtube channel.
Warren Buffett reads 200-300 pages of magazines and investment and economic reports every day.
Step # 4. Lead a healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle is also self-development, only in the field of maintaining health.
- Eat no more than 25 grams of sugar per day - this is the recommendation of the World Health Organization.
- Eat no more than 5 grams of salt per day - also a WHO recommendation.
- Exercise 30 minutes a day - jogging, pull-ups, squats, etc.
- Don't overeat. Overeating reduces life by 20 years. This conclusion was made by scientists from the United States.
- Sleep 6-8 hours a day. Less sleep increases your risk of disease. nervous system, obesity and diabetes.
Step # 5. Master communication skills
Read the book How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. With its help, you can easily win the favor of people and make useful connections.
Tips from the book:
- smile;
- listen carefully to the interlocutor;
- praise him sincerely, do not flatter;
- call the person by name more often;
- talk about what he likes.
Step 6. Find a hobby
People who have a hobby are less likely to suffer from depression and feel happier than those who do not have a hobby.
Find your favorite pastime to your liking. Maybe you like to go fishing. Or maybe sing.
Step 7. Get financial independence
The book “Money. Master of the Game ”by Anthony Robbins - millionaire and business coach. It talks about how to achieve financial freedom. For this you need:
- set aside some of the income;
- create multiple sources of income;
- improve qualifications in their professional field;
- invest funds;
- etc.
Step number 8. Learn a foreign language
Best of all English and Chinese. If you know foreign languages, you will be able to communicate with local residents while traveling and read articles and books in the original.
Spend 30 minutes a day learning languages.
Step number 9. Become more confident in yourself
- start keeping a success diary - write down your successes and achievements;
- make a list of your positive qualities, do not hesitate - write whatever comes to mind;
- get out of your comfort zone.
This article contains some useful practical exercises, which, by the way, are sold in some places for a thousand dollars. I'll save them for you by describing these instructions simply and without water. Believe me, they will not become less effective from this, and you can rest assured of the enormous power of these exercises. Tested on many people. So, if you are wondering where to start self-development, not only out of curiosity, but want to really improve your life, take a notebook and a pen to do the exercises before reading the article.
What is self-development
Before we know where to start self-development and self-improvement, let's think, what is self-development?
Self-development is a very broad concept and each person puts his own meaning into it, depending on his system of values. Someone understands self-development as the development of their business and an increase in monetary income, someone is losing weight, for other people, self-development is relationships with people, the ability to love and be happy, communication skills. We can say that a person is engaged in self-development if every new day he becomes a little better than he was yesterday. And what kind of person to be - everyone decides for himself.
Whatever goals you pursue, all paths of self-development have one general principle. Self-development should be started from this single principle. I will tell you about this unified principle at the end of the article. And now, let's talk about everything in order.
Step 1. Where to start self-development - the current state of affairs
Self-development must begin with a sober assessment of the current state of affairs. It can be very frustrating at times to admit that there is a specific problem, but this is a necessary first step. The situation you are in now is the result of your past efforts or lack thereof.
Let's call this situation "point A".
Practical exercise.
This exercise should be done in writing on paper or in a word processor on a computer. But it's better on paper. Describe your problem, fleshing out the details as precisely as possible. For example, if your problem is low income, then write this: my income is… rubles (insert the exact number of your income). Or you are overweight and you think this is a problem, write down: my weight is… kg (insert the exact number of your weight). If the problem cannot be expressed in numbers, describe it in words. For example, when I try to speak English, I confuse tenses.
When you have decided on the problem, you need to understand: what do you want to change in the current situation, that is, set a goal. Goals also need to be clear and specific. There is a good exercise for that.
Step 2. Set a goal for self-development
Exercise for clear goal setting:
Take a piece of paper and a pen. We will now describe the ideal experience of achieving a goal. Imagine the day you reached your goal and describe in detail one specific moment of that day. It's like writing a script for a movie.
- Write what number it is. Set realistic deadlines for your goals, do not think that in one day you will lose 50 kg or increase your income 100 times in a month.
- What time is it now? (not now when you are doing this exercise, but at that ideal moment in the future).
- Where are you in this perfect experience?
- What other people are in this ideal experience?
- What are you doing at this moment? What do you feel?
Describe this experience in detail.
Be careful, this exercise is not just called “goal achievement experience”. It is the experience that needs to be described, not just an abstract goal.
For example, "I make a lot of money" is an abstract goal. But “I look at the mobile application of my bank and see on my account $ 100,000, which I received for the sale of a successful project, my dog Busya is sitting next to me, and my wife Katya is packing our things into a suitcase, because in three hours we have a plane to the Bahamas, where we rented a house of 120 sq.m. on the seashore for a month ... "and so on. it is a concrete experience of experience. To understand that you are doing the exercise correctly, remember that you are writing a script for the director to use for the scene.
We will call this experience of achieving the goal "point B".
Step 3. Draw up a plan for self-development
So, we know where we are and where we want to go. We have also determined the exact timeframe by which we will come from point A to point B. Now we need to do another practical exercise. We'll need paper and a pen again. This time we will write the ideal scenario for achieving the goal.
Imagine that you have already achieved your goal in self-development and are at point B, in that ideal experience that you described in the previous step. Now, in your imagination, look from this ideal future, when the goal has already been achieved, into the past and answer the question: how did I achieve this goal? The fact is that if you have a clear goal, your subconscious already knows the easiest way to achieve it. You imagine that experience when the goal has already been achieved, but being in imagination in that experience, you understand that all this did not arise out of nowhere. Some events must have preceded this experience. And you just "remember" what happened before. Write down on paper the chain of events that led you from point A to point B, starting with later events and moving back in time to earlier.
Now you have a step-by-step plan for self-development in the chosen direction with intermediate goals.
I will soon write a separate article about this amazingly effective system of 100% achievement of goals, stay tuned.
Choosing a priority direction of self-development
Now let's talk about how to determine in which area of life to start self-development, if it seems that there are too many problems: there is not enough money, and you need to improve your physical shape, and learn English. There are so many things to do that you do not know what to take on.
Bad news: you can't get everything right away. And it is better to set the goal in one direction and gradually move towards it, giving it priority.
The good news: by regularly doing self-development in one area of your life, you will imperceptibly begin to pull up all the others.
Each person chooses the priority direction for development himself. For some, this is a career, for others, personal life, etc.
Psychologists identify eight main areas of life that are most important for most people. It is convenient to depict them in the form of a circle divided into sectors. Each sector is dedicated to one main living area.
Right now you can rate each area of life on a scale from 0 to 10 and connect all the ratings with lines. As a result, you will see illustrative example how balanced your life is. Here's one example:
A common example of a person who spares no effort to invest in making money, forgetting about health, friends, spiritual growth, communication with family.
In fact, thanks to the huge number of psychological research, we can confidently say that a person feels happy when there is contentment in all spheres of life. It makes no sense to invest all your efforts in one area, forgetting about others. Yes, you can achieve good success in this area, but why, if you feel unhappy at the same time? Unfortunately, this is most often realized too late, when precious time has irrevocably gone.
Therefore, it is better to start self-development from the area that you put the lowest rating on.
20 things you can do in your daily life for your self-development
- Read about what you want to improve in your life. Do you want to develop a specific skill? Read about it every day.
- Find a mentor. A mentor can be anyone who knows how to do what you strive for. In turn, remember to help those who have less experience than you. Mentoring is by far the fastest way to develop.
- Keep a journal at the end of the day. If you are really serious about self-development, you need to constantly know what you can improve in yourself. And the only way to know this is to think and ask yourself every day - what and how you can change in yourself in order to become better.
- Create strong habits. These are your habits that reveal your strengths, not the other way around. You cannot live one life and expect to have another. Today's habits create your future life.
- Find like-minded people. In fact, it is difficult to develop alone. Spend time with people who share your values and support each other. Try to avoid associating with those who demotivate you.
- Create a system of rewards and punishments. This is necessary for those who are struggling with their laziness and bad habits.
- Be honest with yourself. No amount of idle talk will lead to change. This is the hardest part. It is much easier to buy a book on self-development or read an article and say to yourself: "I am working on myself." But does something really change? Be your own judge. But never judge yourself by comparing to other people. You should only compare yourself with yourself in the past, and objectively judge the changes.
- Find an example for yourself. It is not worth comparing yourself with others, but looking for inspiration for self-development in other people is sometimes very useful.
- Measure your progress. One of my teachers used to say: If you can't measure the result of an action, don't do it. No matter how ephemeral the things you do, you must find a way to measure your progress. This is the only way to know if you are going in the right direction and if you need to turn off.
- Regularity is the key. Self-development doesn't happen overnight. It happens slowly and gradually. Consistent and regular effort is what creates truly meaningful change. And that's what makes self-development so difficult. There is no magic pill that you swallow - and everything is fixed. Self-development is a daily routine and lifestyle.
- The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. Following the best time- now. No matter how distant the goal may seem, start acting now using the resources that you have.
- Take small steps. Imagine that a long staircase leads to a big goal, and think only about how to climb the next step. It will be a small victory that will inspire you. And then there will be another step in front of you, and another, until you reach your original goal.
- Learn from other people. Whatever skill you develop in yourself, there are people who have passed this path and willingly share their experience. Your own experience is a harsh teacher, so it's best to learn from the mistakes of others. Find a good mentor and read more books.
- The world is changing all the time. And you change too. Even if you don't do anything, you have to change every time the world turns upside down again. This cannot be avoided. Success is achieved by the one who adapts to change the fastest.
- Take responsibility. You are responsible for your own development. You are responsible for where you are now and what you are doing right now. Don't blame anyone, and don't blame yourself. Be aware. Mindfulness is responsibility without guilt.
- Be grateful. The nature of our mind is to always focus on trouble. We quickly get used to good things and immediately begin to wish for the best. Thanks to this, we grow. But still, do not forget about all the good things that we already have. And every day to feel gratitude for it.
- Use the power of intention. If you are 100 percent sure that you want to achieve something, then very soon it will become your reality. All the reality around you is the result of your conscious and subconscious intentions. The ability to feel your subconscious intentions and "erase" them if they lead you not where you want to consciously is an important component of success in self-development.
- Set realistic goals. Goals that are too easy will prevent you from feeling powerful and enjoying the joy of success, while goals that are too difficult can rob you of your confidence. In setting goals, it is important to find a middle ground. Then, when you reach the goal of medium difficulty and are convinced of your strength, move on to those goals that previously seemed impossible to you.
- Listen to your heart. It is impossible to develop for a long time in an area that you do not like. Choose a path that is heartfelt and in line with your values. Become a Master along the way so that the people around you cannot tell if you are working or playing, because you are doing both.
- Keep going and never give up. The only way to fail at a goal is to quit achieving it. If you have done some action, and it did not lead you to the goal, just do something else. Look for new approaches over and over again and one day you will find the key to your dream.
Output
And as usual, after a general review of the topic, I will write my personal opinion. Agree with him or not, decide for yourself. I believe that self-development should start with developing the skill of managing your mind and your attention. To us, in my opinion, this is the basis for the success of any other self-development activity. After all, it is the lack of self-control skills that most often becomes the reason that a person cannot regularly engage in self-development.
How many times have you started losing weight, exercising, or teaching English and threw. V modern world There are too many distractions: TV shows, social media, television, the Internet, a huge flow of information and information noise. Thousands of signals around are struggling to grab our attention and pinch off a piece of energy.
And the most unpleasant thing is that most of this information is simply useless and often harmful. If you hear good information, then they want to force you to buy something. If you hear any news about events in the world, then they most likely want to intimidate you. And every little bit of information tries to evoke some emotion in you.
To achieve your goals in self-improvement, you just need to learn how to channel your energy into the right channel, and give a tough rebuff to anything that tries to distract attention without your permission.
And from all this, I want to conclude that you need to start self-development and self-improvement with meditation. Meditation is training to control your mind. Meditation is a platform that ensures the effectiveness of self-development, whether it is study foreign languages, public speaking or physical development. We can say that the mind is a tool that we use to change ourselves. You should not be like that fool from the parable who for the third hour saws a log with a dull saw, because he does not have time to sharpen the saw. Prepare a good tool first, and then it will go a lot faster with it.
The development of the mind, the ability to control oneself, one's attention with the help of meditation - this is where you need to start self-development.